Failed Reset
by lifesbutawalkingshadow
Summary: Naruto gets flung back in time. Unfortunately, he brings a slew of other people with him, including most of Akatsuki, and almost destroys the world in the process. Plus, the Kyuubi is missing. And Kakashi has gone nuts. Where's Itachi when you need... he's having a mental breakdown. Great.
1. Chapter One: An End

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, last I checked. I have a couple of plans in motion, though...**

Chapter One: An End

_xXx_

_"I can help you, just release me!"_

_Tobi struggled with all his might, trying feverishly to break out of the seals that bound him._

_The monster in human form grinned at him. "In a sec, in a sec. Now look, Naruto's clone runs in. Are you following me?"_

_"I already know all this." Tobi growled._

_"Oh no, you see, this is where it gets good." The thing said. "So, the clone tosses the jutsu..."_

_Tobi tried to activate his Kamui. A fiery burst of pain exploded in his right eye. The masked man let out a scream._

_"Are you really going to keep doing that?" The monster asked. "Here, maybe you'll stop if I take that mask off."_

_A wave of ice surged through his veins. Tobi tried frantically to will his body into action, but his muscles would not respond to his command. His captor reached out a hand and plucked the mask from his head._

_The monster gave an incredulous laugh. "Obito Uchiha? Oh, that's fantastic! Kakashi is going to have a fit when he learns about this one! I'd give my left arm to know... wait, no, I'm going to know in a couple of minutes anyway! Silly me."_

_"I am not Obito Uchiha!" Tobi snarled. "Obito Uchiha died..."_

_"Yes, yes, blah blah blah." The thing said. "Anyway, the clone tosses the jutsu, the chakra goes up the statue and boom! There's a big explosion. And everyone in the room has their souls plucked out of their bodies and sent merrily spiraling back into the past!"_

_Tobi's eyes widened as the seals began to take effect. Claws of burning fire reached into his head and began tearing at his mind._

_"Except not." The monster leaned in close, a savage, inhuman smile on its face. "Because that, you see, is where things went wrong."_

_xXx_

_(Namiashi Wastes - Land of Lightning)_

It was a cold cloudy day in September, and the human race was doomed.

A vicious wind howled over the landscape towards him, driving sharp flecks of sand into his sensitive eyes. Above, the dark sky promised a thunderstorm, growling angrily as black clouds boiled over. The land around them, once a lush, verdant forest, was now a blasted, broken wasteland. The air around them was thick with the bitter tang of ash and smoke, making Naruto's nose twitch in irritation. And at the opposite side of that blasted heath stood nearly three-dozen resurrected ninja, and one living one.

As Naruto stared out at the hordes of the dead, his stomach twinged with nausea. He recognized many of the people standing in those still, silent ranks. Haku, Asuma, Zabuza, Nagato, Sasori. All torn from their peaceful oblivions and forced to fight in the cause of Madara Uchiha. If he failed here today, this was what humanity would become. Empty, soulless puppets, slaves to the whims of a madman.

They had already clashed with Madara and his six jinchuriki once. Now, he and Bee had another twenty or so S-rank ninja to deal with. Kakuzu, Deidara, Kimimaro, any one of the shinobi facing them could pose a significant threat on their own. To have to contend with all of them at once appeared an insurmountable challenge. Nevertheless, he would not allow himself to flee.

Iruka had given him his blessing. The world was counting on him. The Fourth Shinobi World War was in his hands.

"Ready?" He asked, eyes focused on the masked man at the back of the throng.

Bee nodded. "Ready."

Naruto clasped his hands together and a cloak of brilliant yellow light exploded into being around him.

"Then let's begin."

As one, the two jinchuriki began their charge. On the opposite side of the ruined sandy wasteland, the resurrected shinobi with ranged attacks began flashing through hand seals.

A second later, a maelstrom of blades, fireballs, dragons, boulders and missiles flew out of the crowd.

Naruto leapt into the air, narrowly avoiding a swarm of shuriken. A water dragon flew up to meet him, hungry maw threatening to swallow him. Creating an arm of chakra, Naruto met the attack with a Rasengan. The dragon destabilized instantly, exploding into harmless water.

Below, Bee dodged to the side as a titanic boulder nearly took his head off. Morphing his arm into a tentacle, the dark-skinned man grabbed Naruto's leg and flung him high into the air. The distraction cost him; a Raiton-enhanced shuriken took him in the right shoulder. He was knocked back, cursing loudly.

Flying through the air at breathtaking speed, Naruto was propelled right over the storm of attacks below. Before any of the resurrected shinobi could react, the Kyuubi jinchuriki landed directly in their midst. Creating two more limbs of chakra, Naruto drove Rasengan into the chests of the two ninja closest to him; a long-haired Hyuga and the Fourth Kazekage, sending them flying back into the shinobi around them.

Spinning on the ball of his foot, Naruto charged towards Madara. A dozen shinobi moved to block his path. A grinning, red-haired woman with a Mist headband slashed at him with a pair of swords, lightning crackling around her. Naruto slid under the attack, lashing out with an attack of his own that turned her leg into ash.

Zabuza and Kimimaro leapt through the air towards him, weapons raised. Naruto lashed out with yet more chakra limbs and the two were flung backwards.

From behind, a man with a bizarre hammer-like weapon darted towards him. Leaping above the man's swing, Naruto used the man's shoulder as a launching pad and vaulted backwards towards Madara. The Third Raikage leapt to meet him, right hand alight with lightning chakra and drawn back for a strike. In response, Naruto summoned a dozen clones, each surrounded by a chakra cloak. Using the shoulders of his clone as a handhold, Naruto propelled himself even higher into the air, sacrificing the clone to the Raikage's attack. Below, the rest of his clones engaged the resurrected.

Suddenly, a thin, blue strand of chakra wrapped itself around his leg and yanked him violently downwards. Progress arrested mid-flight, Naruto was pulled downwards, straight towards Sasori. From behind the puppeteer, a Suna kunoichi with orange-and-green hair ran out to meet him, hands flashing through seals.

Forming a mini-Rasenshuriken, Naruto flung it towards the woman. The tiny ball of light sliced straight through her neck and expanded, turning both her and Sasori into clouds of ash.

Alerted by the odd sound of steam being exhaled, Naruto turned to see a titanic man in red shell-armor traveling towards him at high speeds. The man's punch drove into his gut like a freight train, propelling him backwards through the air. Naruto landed awkwardly, blood dripping from his mouth. His remaining clones moved to cover him, holding off the rest of the enemy so that he could catch his breath.

How the hell was he supposed to win this? Any damage he dished out, the dead simply regenerated from! Even if he turned them into ash, they just kept coming back!

A short distance away, Bee had recovered and was engaging a swordsman from Mist. Catching the tall, masked man's needle-like sword on Samehada, Bee lashed out with a brutal kick that caught him in the face. The other swordsman fell backwards, laughing madly as he did so.

"Hey yo, Naruto, these zombies are really messing with my flow!" Bee yelled.

Naruto looked at him. "Yeah I kno... Whoa!"

A red-cloaked Deidara somersaulted over the line of clones, flinging small clay birds at Naruto as he did so. The jinchuriki jumped to the side, barely avoiding the resulting explosion.

Deidara landed a short distance from him. "Long time no see, un!"

Naruto launched a tendril of chakra towards him. Deidara dodged it, twirling to the side as he flung more explosives at the jinchuriki. Naruto growled and charged at the man. His hands grasped at empty air, the bomber leapt backwards and summoned a large clay bird to act as a mount.

The bird began to gain height. Deidara laughed. "Can't get me up here, can you? I hope you're ready for my C..."

Deidara's speech was cut off as the lanky swordsman that Bee had been fighting slammed into him at high speeds, knocking him off the bird and sending the two of them plummeting to the ground.

Bee grinned at Naruto, the arm that he'd used to toss the swordsman shrinking back to regular size. "Yo, little bro, figured you'd appreciate the sa..."

A chakra arm launched through the air, slapped the brown-haired shinobi who had been moving to impale Bee out of the sky and sending him right back into the clone-melee.

Bee blinked. "...Thanks."

Naruto smiled. "No problem."

From within the crowd, a creature that Naruto recognized as one of Kakuzu's mask creatures released a torrent of fire. Instantly, another four of his clones were wiped out.

Bee looked to Naruto. "I hope you don't hate, but I'm going to bring out the big eight!"

Spitting a mouthful of blood onto the ground, Naruto nodded. "Go ahead. We won't be able to handle them as we are."

Slicing his finger open with one of his canines, Naruto drove it into the ground **"Summoning!"**

A titanic cloud of smoke appeared, covering the entire battlefield. The resurrected froze in place, alert for any attempt to use the smoke as a distraction to strike at Akatsuki's leader.

From somewhere in the mist came a cry. **"Futon: Great Breakthrough!"**

As the smoke began to clear, several forms slowly came into definition.

Gamabunta. Gamahiro. Gamaken. Gyuki.

From his position on top of Gamabunta's head, Naruto smirked.

"The real fight begins now."

xXx

Oh. That could prove a problem.

From his position at the back of the horde, Tobi began issuing orders to a Zetsu. "Have Nagato summon the Dog, the Rhino and the Bird. Keep the rest of his summons in reserve. The Third Raikage and the Dog handle Gamabunta. Kakuzu, Toroi and Mangetsu deal with Gamaken. Deidara and Mu handle Gamahiro. Nagato, the Rhino and the Kazekage take on the Hachibi. Everyone else is to focus on the Kyuubi container."

The Zetsu would instantly relay his instructions to another, who would then pass them onto Kabuto. Tobi couldn't risk having him at the battlefield. Having Sasuke break Kabuto's mind with his Sharingan had had some unfortunate side effects; the medic had been reduced to a drooling shell capable only of obeying orders. It was having an effect on the shinobi resurrected with Edo Tensei, too. While the ones who retained their personalities (like Deidara) were still fighting at close to full strength, the ninja who had to be controlled manually had had their reaction times slowed significantly. As a result, Naruto and Bee were tossing S-Rank ninja around like nine-pins. Still, it was worth it to finally have the smarmy medic completely under his control. All the conditions for victory had been met. Now, all that remained was the acquisition of the final two bijuu.

It shouldn't be long, either. There was no possible way that Naruto and Bee could handle the entirety of his forces. They hadn't even been able to handle him and his six jinchuriki.

Actually, maybe he'd keep those in reserve. His first clash with them had already drained a significant portion of his chakra. Better to let the rest of the resurrected go first.

As per his orders, Nagato's summons materialized in front of his forces. All he had to do now was sit back and watch.

As if waiting for his mental command, Nagato's dog summon ran forward. The rest of his forces did the same, converging on their chosen targets.

Seeing the dog coming at him, Gamabunta slid to the side, swinging at it with his tanto. The giant weapon carved through the monster's head like a knife through butter, sending it crashing to the ground.

Gamaken turned to beat the summon down before it could regenerate. Seizing the opportunity, Mangetsu leapt up onto the magenta toad's head and dealt him a punishing blow with Shibuki. The great toad made a yelp of pain and reflexively lashed out, hitting Gamabunta with his sasumata.

From their positions on the ground, Zabuza, Haku, Fuguki, Jinan and the Second Mizukage each launched off a water dragon. The five dragons combined into one enormous one, speeding like an arrow at Gamabunta. A clone appeared at Naruto's side and leapt into the path of the attack, a Rasenshuriken screeching in its outstretched hand. Both the clone and the dragon were obliterated.

Deidara and Mu flew up into the air, circling Gamahiro. Mu raised his hands, and a Jinton cube formed between them. Sensing danger, Gamahiro leapt backwards just as the attack was launched and the cube landed harmlessly in the dirt below.

The now two-headed dog summon leapt up from where it had fallen, launching itself towards Gamabunta. An enormous tentacle caught it in mid-flight. The Hachibi lifted the creature and tossed it into the air. A dark ball of black energy formed on the Hachibi's mouth.

"Nighty night, motherfucker!" It yelled.

The black ball of energy caught the dog summon in the chest. There was a magnificent explosion of white light. When it dissipated, no trace of the creature remained.

From his position on top of Gamaken's head, Mangetsu continued to pound at Gamaken with his explosive blade. Seeing the toad in distress, Naruto moved to assist, only to be blocked mid-jump by Hanzo, who was mounted on Nagato's bird summon. Dodging the sickle part of Hanzo's kusarigama in mid-air, Naruto grabbed onto the chain and yanked Hanzo off the back of the bird. The two plummeted towards the ground together.

Screaming in pain, Gamaken finally managed to wrap his hands around Mangetsu, only for the man to morph into water. Taking advantage of the toad's distraction, Kakuzu leapt up in front of him and extended his hands. A wave of tendrils shot out of the man's sleeves and began to burrow into Gamaken's skin, anchoring Kakuzu to the toad.

Kakuzu grinned. **"Katon: Intelligent Hard Work."**

A wind-enhanced fireball emerged from Kakuzu's mouth and hit Gamaken directly in the face. The toad screamed again and fell backwards.

Gamahiro continued to dodge Deidara's and Mu's attacks, taking occasional hits from Deidara's clay bombs. The toad was paying much more attention to Mu than to Deidara, which seemed to be irritating the bomber to no end.

The rhino summon lowered its head and made a charge at Bee, only to be impaled from the side by Gamabunta. The Toad Boss flipped the rhino onto the ground and began stabbing it repeatedly.

Freed from the threat of the summon, Bee turned his attention to Tobi. "You've been going steady, but I hope you're ready!"

As before, a ball of black chakra began forming in the Hachibi's mouth. Suddenly, a tsunami of gold dust flew up from the crowd of resurrected and formed a noose around the bijuu's neck. The noose yanked the creature's head upwards, forcing it to fire the attack harmlessly into the sky.

Landing hard on the ground, Naruto was forced to immediately leap backwards to avoid being split in half by Zabuza's sword. Behind him, Hanzo got to his feet. With Zabuza, Kimimaro, Hanzo, Asuma, Kushimaru, Ameyuri and Jinin all charging at him with weapons raised, Naruto did the only thing he could think of. Thirty clones came into being and immediately engaged the seven kenjutsu experts.

Gamaken lay on his back, still struggling feebly. Kakuzu released the tendrils that were attached to the toad's chest and climbed up onto his head. The Akatsuki member placed his palms flat on the summon's face, just below his right eye. More tendrils emerged from his hands and began burrowing towards the toad's brain. The toad's struggles slowed, and then stopped forever.

After a surprisingly large number of stabs, the rhino summon finally disappeared. Gamabunta turned, only to be struck in the chest by the Third Raikage's Four-Finger Hell Stab. Electricity shot through the toad's body, and he began to convulse involuntarily.

Seizing the chance, Kimimaro broke away from the Naruto clone that it was engaging and leapt into Gamabunta's mouth. An arsenal of razor-sharp bones burst out of the Kaguya's body. Kimimaro began slashing at the toad's mouth and throat, trying to make his way to the summon's brain. Obviously panicked beyond reason, the creature dispelled itself and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The golden noose around the Hachibi's neck began to tighten. Growling, the creature wrapped its tentacles around the collar and pulled. The noose fell apart, but reformed into a long, thin blade.

Noticing his ally's distress, Naruto turned his attention to the Fourth Kazekage. A translucent fox head formed around Naruto's own, and the jinchuriki fell down onto his hands and knees. A bijudama began to form in the construct's mouth.

Tobi prepared to activate his intangibility technique.

With a roar, Naruto fired the ball of energy. Right before the black ball hit the Fourth Kazekage, Nagato leapt in the way. The red-haired man caught the ball in his hands, attempting to absorb its power. The attempt was only partially successful. Rather than leveling an entire mountain range, this attack only expanded to about the size of one of Naruto's Rasenshurikens. Nagato, the Fourth Kazekage and several other shinobi were completely obliterated, although they quickly began to reform again.

The gold dust that had been threatening the Hachibi fell to the ground, the controller incapacitated for now. Immediately, Kakuzu, Kimimaro and the Third Raikage moved to fill the gap.

A short distance away, Deidara and Mu still hadn't been able to bring down Gamahiro. It seemed to now be pissing Deidara off to no end.

"Screw it." Deidara growled. "Time to bring out my masterpiece, un!"

Deidara shoved handfuls of clay into his mouth, then turned and vomited it out over the side of his bird. The clay trickled to the ground, then began to take the shape of a gigantic version of Deidara.

Tobi blinked. Then he blinked again, not believing what he was seeing.

C4.

Deidara had used _C4_.

Deidara had used the technique that disintegrated people on a cellular level. On the people that they absolutely could not allow to be killed.

_What in god's name was wrong with the man!?_

Tobi span around to face the Zetsu. "Have Nagato use Shinra Tensei. Maximum strength."

"What?" The Zetsu said, confusion clear on its face. "But that will..."

Deidara's construction was beginning to bloat.

Nagato had almost finished reforming.

"I know what it will do!" Tobi said, for the first time since the beginning of the war feeling truly panicked. "Just do it! Now!"

The C4 doll burst open.

The Rinnegan-bearer raised his hands. **"Shinra Tensei!"**

And the world exploded.

xXx

Peck. Peck peck.

Naruto let out a groan. "Mmmph..."

Where was... what had...

Fourth Shinobi World War. Evil ninja. Wake up.

Right. That.

Naruto opened his eyes.

There was a crow pecking at his leg. Naruto gave the limb a shake and it flew away squawking.

He was lying in a very uncomfortable thorn-bush. Somewhere in the middle of a forest, apparently. There didn't seem to be anyone else around.

He must have been catapulted here when Nagato used that jutsu. It was a miracle that he'd survived the flight.

Still, this was no time to be lying around! He needed to get back to the action!

First of all, though, he should probably try and find a member of the Allied Shinobi Forces. It was weird, he hadn't seen any trace of them anywhere! The only people he'd met since leaving the island were Bee and those weird tree people.

Naruto slowly got to his feet, feeling his muscles groan in protest. To be fair, it had been a very long day.

Forming a couple of clones to gather up nature energy, Naruto slipped out of the clearing.

A few minutes of searching later, the jinchuriki caught a glimpse of something moving in the distance. Stealing his way through the trees, Naruto finally got close enough to identify the characteristic, ponytailed form of one Shikamaru Nara.

The blonde gave a sigh of relief. Finally.

Naruto stepped out from behind the tree. "Shikamaru! Over here!"

His friend turned to face him, and in that moment Naruto realized that something was very, very wrong.

Shikamaru's eyes were jet-black. His skin was cracked and broken.

Edo Tensei.

Upon seeing him, Shikamaru's eyes widened. "Naruto! You have to get out of here!"

"Shikamaru, what the hell happened?" Naruto demanded "Where are..."

"We lost, Naruto! They're dead! They're all dead! You need to run!" Shikamaru yelled, the panic clear in his voice.

Naruto shook his head, unable to comprehend what he was hearing. "Dead? Who? Sakura? Kakashi? Ino? Chouji?"

"Everyone! They're all gone!" Shikamaru shouted, pain clear in his voice. "Now go! They can see through my eyes, Naruto! They know you're here!"

"How? How did it happen?" Naruto yelled.

"I can't stop myself!" Shikamaru yelled. "Just go!"

Suddenly, the sound of chirping birds came from Naruto's rear. Dodging to the side, Naruto avoided Kakashi's Chidori with inches to spare. The copy-nin landed next to Shikamaru and turned to face him.

Just like Shikamaru, Kakashi bore the unmistakable signs of Edo Tensei.

"Kakashi-sensei? You too? How?" Naruto whispered.

"Deidara put C3 bombs into Zetsu constructs disguised as Allied shinobi, which detonated whilst in the midst of our forces. The First and Third divisions were decimated and many of the reanimated shinobi were able to escape due to the blasts. Gaara has been resurrected, most of us are dead." Kakashi said, speaking quickly and with impressive calm. "I think Headquarters might still be operational. Now, you need to go before Madara gets here."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Madara? I've already been fighting Madara."

Kakashi shook his head. "The man in the mask isn't Madara. Madara is a thousand times worse. Now for god's sake, _go!_"

"Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't."

Naruto span around, searching for the speaker. In that instant, Shikamaru's shadow lashed out, latching onto Naruto's own.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." Shikamaru whispered.

Somewhere in the distance, one of Naruto's clones dispelled. Naruto's eyes went orange and he began fighting against Shikamaru's jutsu.

"I don't think that will be necessary." A man dressed in red armour with long, black hair emerged from the forest. "I'd rather end this quickly."

Naruto drew back his fist, ripping free of the shadow jutsu. The other man was faster.

With insane speed, Madara wrapped one hand around Naruto's throat and drove the other into his gut.

Pain like nothing he had ever felt before exploded through Naruto's body. A sharp, red-hot fire began to flow into his chest, making his way through his system. Arms and legs shaking out of sheer agony, Naruto weakly lifted his head.

A weird, black substance was seeping out of Madara's hand, seeping into his skin. Slowly, the pain began to lessen.

This was Madara? Then who was the other guy?

"I just imbibed you with a materialized portion of my will. Apparently, the Kyuubi does not appreciate it." Madara stated. "Still, it should stop you from manifesting any of its chakra for the time being."

"..not...on.." Naruto mumbled.

Madara raised him into the air by his neck. "I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?"

Naruto grinned. "I said... Surprise!"

Naruto yanked his head backwards and drove it into Madara's own.

Out of sheer surprise more than anything, Madara released him and stumbled backwards. Suddenly, the ground beneath Madara burst open and a loud, chiming sound shattered the air.

"What I actually said was... I have another clone!" Naruto yelled.

From beneath Madara's feet appeared his second clone. The man's eyes widened and he tried to activate some sort of jutsu, but he was too late. With sadistic glee, the clone drove the Rasenshuriken into Madara's crotch. There was a burst of blue light, and Madara disappeared. Kakashi and Shikamaru, who had moved to assist, were obliterated too.

For a second, Naruto just stood there, panting. Then, he raised his trembling hands into the clone seal. A single clone appeared.

Naruto nodded to it. The clone saluted, and took off into the trees. Then, spinning around, Naruto took off in the other direction.

If this had been a fair fight, then that would have been the end of Madara. Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky. He had no means of permanently sealing Madara. The Kyuubi's chakra was sealed. His allies were either dead or gone...

Oh god. Sakura.

No. He couldn't think about that now. There would be time to mourn the dead later, but the living still needed him. And even if he couldn't escape, he could perform one last act.

As he'd thought, it didn't take long before Madara's presence reappeared behind him. Rather than chasing after him immediately, the presence seemed to remain in the same place.

Well, the longer Madara stayed off his trail, the better.

When he looked around half a minute later, he immediately rescinded that thought.

A large portion of the forest was simply gone. In its place stood a glowing red behemoth taller than most mountains. The samurai-thing's glowing white eyes were fixed upon his fleeing figure.

Naruto stared at the thing for a second, then the corners of his mouth quirked up in a rueful smile.

Truly, it was a foe fitting for the great future Hokage Uzumaki Naruto.

The Susanoo drew back one of its swords and swung it in an overhead arc towards him. Unable to get out of the way in time, Naruto instead remained stock still. As the sword drew close, the Kyuubi jinchuriki suddenly raised his hands.

And caught the blade. Centimeters from his head.

"Raaaargh!" Naruto screamed in exertion.

Slowly, arms trembling with the effort, Naruto began to lift the blade away from his face. The Susanoo remained still for a second, as if surprised, then drew its other sword. Raising it high in the air, it came in for a second strike.

Letting go of the first blade with his left hand, Naruto caught the second one too.

The strain was unbelievable! Even with sage mode, his hands felt as if they were on fire!

His feet began to sink into the dirt. Mustering every shred of energy, Naruto pushed with a strength he didn't know he possessed. With every muscle in his body straining under the pressure, the Kyuubi jinchuriki... began to... lift... the blades.

Suddenly, a shadow blocked the sun, blanketing the immediate area in darkness. Steadily making progress with the Susanoo's swords, Naruto looked up to see a dark shadow descending from the heavens. A gigantic ball of rock, half the size of Konoha.

"Oh, come on..." Naruto groaned.

He couldn't move from this spot or those swords would crush him. Even if he could, there was no way he could get out of the way of that meteorite in time. He'd just have to hope that sage mode and his Uzumaki blood would keep him safe.

Three seconds before the meteorite hit the ground, his nature chakra ran out.

"Motherfu..."

Unconsciousness came within an instant.

xXx

_(Four Days later - Naruto's Mindscape)_

Naruto flew backwards, landing harshly against the walls of the sewer.

The Kyuubi roared. **"Fool! After all the gifts you were given! After all the advantages you had! You failed! And to think I almost believed in your Will of Fire crap!"**

The Nine-Tailed bijuu continued its advance towards Naruto, stepping out of the open cage doors. Naruto tried vainly to lever himself off the ground, but his muscles simply would not obey.

Reaching its host, the Kyuubi stopped and lowered its head over Naruto, transfixing him with its enormous orange eyes. "**All your promises, broken. I give you my chakra, and what do I get in return? Nothing but hollow words!"**

"Please... Kurama..." Naruto pleaded.

The Kyuubi roared, and battered him with its paw once again. **"You do not get to call me by that name, Uzumaki! I am the nine-tailed Demon Lord Kyuubi! I was a fool to believe that we could ever be anything more than enemies!"**

Naruto slumped to the ground, too drained by the events of the last week to even think about resisting. The Nine-tailed fox turned away from him, and stared up towards the roof of the mindscape.

Kurama laughed bitterly. **"Listen well, human. You mean nothing to me now. Even if this act destroys you from the inside out, I. Will. Not. Die. Here.**

And with those final words, the Kyuubi began preparing a Bijudama.

xXx

_(Mountain's Graveyard)_

Madara and Sasuke were out mopping up the last of the Allied Shinobi forces.

Kabuto had been put in his place.

Itachi Uchiha was chained to the wall and bound with repressor seals.

And they had just began the final extraction of the Kyuubi.

Tobi allowed himself a sigh of satisfaction. Finally, decades of planning had come to fruition.

Akatsuki had won. Utopia would finally come, and a perfect world would be everyone's to enjoy.

On each of the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path's ten fingers stood a shinobi that Tobi considered somehow symbolic to Uzumaki's life. Kakashi, Shikamaru, Zabuza, Gaara, Kimimaro, Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, Nagato and, of course, himself. Not usually his style, but he could afford to be a little theatrical now and then.

By the entrance to the cave, Asuma, Haku and Chiyo stood guard. On the floor of the cavern lay the cold body of Killer Bee.

Three more days. Three more days and everything would end.

Tobi was snapped out of his musings by an exclamation from Deidara. "What the hell is that, un?"

Something had gone wrong. Bright strands of red energy, tempered with a strange black hue, were flowing out of Naruto's body into the blue miasma surrounding him.

Tobi swore. "Shut it down! Shut the jutsu down, now!"

The Akatsuki members began making hand seals, moving through the sequence that would end the ritual.

Suddenly, a familiar chiming sound came from the entrance to the cavern. Spinning around, Tobi was greeted to the sight of another Naruto racing through the entrance, straight past his resurrected guards.

Damn useless Kabuto!

"Hey mask-man!" The other Naruto yelled. "Eat this!"

Leaping high into the air, the Naruto flung the Rasenshuriken it was holding straight into the middle of the circle. Tobi was forced to phase out to avoid being killed by the blast. The other resurrected shinobi were not so lucky, dissolving into clouds of ash.

The chakra at the center of the Rasenshuriken, however, seemed to be absorbed into the ritual chakra, turning it into a chaotic maelstrom of blue, black, red and purple hues.

The clone was dispelled by a well-aimed senbon from Haku upon landing, but the damage was done. The chaos began flowing up the chakra streams, towards the statue itself.

Frantically, Tobi tried to dismiss the summoning jutsu. The statue began vibrating violently, but remained in place.

The Kyuubi's chakra hit the statue.

From his bound position, Itachi smirked.

And the world turned white.

xXx

**Edit (27/4/2012): Hey, assorted people. If any of you read this story before the time of this edit, you probably know that the first chapter of this story used to be completely different to this one. Unfortunately, however, it was confusing and poorly-constructed. So it has now been replaced by this one.**

**That said, the original chapter showed how events got to this stage in the first place, which this one doesn't. As such, I don't want to get rid of it entirely, so I've stuck it into its own one-chapter story under the title 'Failed Reset: The Fall'. It's no longer the first chapter of this story for a reason, but it's still completely canon so feel free to check it out if you want a bit of background on what happened.**

**Also, combat sequences with 30+ combatants? Pure evil. Seriously.**

**Naruto with bijuu-cloak? Also evil. And compared to the combat abilities of characters like Sasori, Kakashi or Kakuzu, surprisingly uninteresting to write, may I add. He pretty much just wipes everything out. There are changes coming, though.**

**Thanks to ElementKitsune for the beta.**

**Oh yeah! They say all good stories have a hook in the first chapter!**

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**Eheheh, aren't I hilarious?**

**.**

**No.**

**No I am not.**

**Read and Review!**


	2. Chapter Two: A Beginning

**25/7/2012 - 1 Review, 2 Favorites, 2 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters. I do own a shiny computer though, which is pretty cool.**

**AN: As promised, here is the next chapter. I'll probably be updating every 2-3 days until my uni break ends, then switch to weekly updates.**

Chapter Two: A Beginning

xXx

_(Wave Country)_

_22nd July, 1382 EV:_

_We're now 14 months into Naruto's training. I've said it before, but goddamn is this kid a mess. Taijutsu, Chakra control, if it's a shinobi skill it either needs to be fixed or re-taught from scratch._

Jiraiya looked up from his journal at the tiny room of the small Wave Country hut the two were currently lodging in. It was a fairly humble affair, with only a living room tastelessly decorated with animal heads and a bedroom, from which the blonde jinchūriki's grating snores could be heard. Making a mental note to buy a new pair of earmuffs the next time they went into town, the Sannin returned to his work.

_After all the shit I've put him through in the last few months though, kid needs a break. I'm taking the kid to the Land of Waves' famous Irihi Beach. As an added bonus, seeing that bridge of his should be enough to get him raring to go again. And if I can get a little research done on the side, so much the better. It's a pity that the kid's going to miss the Watanagashi Festival, but unfortunately..._

"**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"**

Suddenly, an inhuman cry of agony split the air. Accompanying it was a vivid, all-too-familiar orange glow that spilled around the doorframe of Naruto's room.

In less than a second, Jiraiya leapt out of his chair, wrenched the door open, swore and summoned his sealing materials.

As the man had guessed, the glow was coming from Naruto. The boy was thrashing about in his bed, limbs flailing wildly, his entire body covered with an orange aura. In the process, his shirt had bunched up above his stomach, revealing the jinchūriki's glowing seal.

Or what was left of it, anyway.

The seal was beyond damaged. What had previously been an organized and intricately drawn work of art had become a mess of squiggles and meaningless lines. The containment segment of the seal appeared to have vanished completely, and the chakra conversion matrix had twisted back in on itself.

Faster than he had possibly ever moved before, Jiraiya drew up a chakra-suppressing seal on a blank tag and slammed it into the screaming boy's chest. As it touched the seal, there was a bright flash of light and Jiraiya was sent hurtling back through the air, punching straight through the wall. The tag itself was instantly incinerated, having no obvious effect on the boy's condition.

xXx

_(? - Ten Minutes Earlier and Three Years in the future)_

_Purple sound creeps Kurama, hurting pain pain. Void of darkness and light and shadow and stars and utter emptiness. Sense of familiarity true home pain fading._

_Distorted clouds swam above come with dark and eldritch things all around come come and hair sticks to the vibrations in deep soul._

_All around come come a sense of place utterly incomprehensible come. The place beyond __**come **__and beautiful __**come**__ and terrifying __**come **__and unable to be understood __**come.**_

_Too easy just drift __**come **__and be free __**come **__and stop trying to be together._

**COME!**

Through the unknowable void the Kyuubi found itself in came the summons, too strong to be ignored.

_Don't want to go back return not the prison all lies and tricks and broken._

A thread of gold wrapped itself around the fox and began slowly reeling it towards the world of shinobi.

_Not the pain not the darkness not the cage._

The pull became stronger.

_not the cage. not the cage. not the cage._

The Kyuubi reached the material world. As it regained its sense of self, it felt itself hurtling back towards Naruto.

_Not the cage!_

The beast's chakra began to enter the boy's seal.

_Not the cage! _**Not the cage! NOT THE CAGE! I WILL NOT RETURN!**

Halfway between the world and the Void, the Kyuubi began producing the largest Bijadama it had ever attempted. With its power rapidly flowing into the Uzumaki's adolescent body, the great Nine-Tailed Fox swallowed the dark ball of energy. Then, ignoring every instinct it possessed, it did not release it.

Had the fox attempted to detonate a Bijadama inside its own body while caged inside the boy, it is likely that the seal would have prevented any major impact from occurring besides putting Kurama through rather extreme pain. Likewise, if it had tried to do so in the Void then the lack of a genuine physical form would have made it extremely ineffectual.

As a result of doing it _on the very precipice between the Void and the real world, _the effects were nothing less than glorious.

The Nine-Tailed Fox's form detonated into a fantastic explosion of pure malignant chakra. The parts which had already integrated themselves into Naruto's system were violently wrenched out of the boy's body while the parts inside the Void were sent flying off in all directions, setting the stage for the beast's inevitable reformation.

It was along the edge of the barrier itself. however, that the results were truly spectacular.

Caught on the rim between realms, the dark, malignant chakra had nowhere to go but sideways. Spreading across the border, the semi-sentient energy noticed an incursion of radiant streaks of light entering hundreds of thousands of locations across the material realm. These lines of light seemed to be most densely-packed in four places in particular.

The light was irritating to the inherently-evil chakra.

Therefor, it would put an end to it.

Ignoring the significantly smaller and weaker lines of light around it, the Kyuubi's chakra split itself into four, each cloud heading towards one of the four brightest lights.

xXx

_(Wave Country)_

"Damn it!"

Leaping up off the hard ground, Jiraiya kawarimi'd back through the now broken wall into Naruto's room. As he did so, he noticed that the sky to the north was lit up with two bright red pillars of light that appeared to be descending from the clouds.

As he stood there, frantically scrawling another chakra-suppressor seal, the bright orange glow that lit up Naruto began fading away. The boy's struggles became less violent, then came to a stop. Whether from the pain or from the dissipation of the Kyuubi's chakra, Naruto was unconscious.

Jiraiya looked to the seal, only for it to fade into invisibility. The Sannin sighed in relief. For the seal to disappear meant that the Kyuubi's chakra was no longer outside its prison. Hopefully, crisis averted. Now to figure out just what the hell was going on.

In this situation, most people would allow the jinchūriki to wake in his own time, or shake him awake. Jiraiya decided to go down a more direct route, and shock him into consciousness with a harmless Raiton jutsu.

_Bzzt!_

The boy's body jolted, and rejoined the realm of the living with a loud cry.

"Ah! What the hell, Ero- Senni..."

His eyes registered the concerned-looking man leaning over him.

Naruto went as white as a sheet. "J... Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya was tempted to shoot off a sarcastic retort, but something in the boy's tone stopped him. It contained joy, hope, dread and even a hint of terror, all at once.

Jiraiya nodded. "One and only, kid. Now..."

"But you... You were... You were killed!" Naruto stuttered

Jiraiya blinked. "... Come again?"

Naruto's eyes hardened. "They resurrected you too, huh? I'm sorry, Ero-Sennin, but that's not going to stop me!"

Flinging the confused man off him, Naruto leapt to his feet and made the Shadow Clone Seal. And promptly collapsed to his kneed with a scream of pain.

Jiraiya rushed to steady him. "Naruto! I'm not dead and I don't intend to be for a good thirty years yet. Don't try to access your chakra, we don't know what effect the Kyuubi has had on it!"

"But.. you..." Looking down at himself for the first time, Naruto noticed that his limbs were significantly shorter than normal. He brought his hands up in the anti-genjutsu seal. "Kai!"

Only to once more release a scream of agony.

Jiraiya grabbed him by the shoulders and lightly shook him, "Idiot! What did I just say? Now tell me, what happened with the Kyuubi?"

Naruto began hyperventilating. "I'm dead, aren't I? I've died and everyone else is dead and we've failed and Akatsuki has the Kyuubi!"

Jiraiya shook his head in confusion. "What?"

"I'm not going to give up! I'll find a way to return, and I'll..." Naruto gibbered, before being silenced with a stinging slap from Jiraiya.

"Get ahold of yourself, shinobi!" Jiraiya growled. "Now, Naruto, you are going to _calmly_ tell me just what the hell is going on!" The Sannin's eyes flickered to the distant lines of energy that were still illuminating the night sky to the north. "And you are going to do this as we head towards whatever's happening over there. Can you run?"

Naruto nodded shakily.

The Sannin nodded back. "Good."

The two set off towards the light. As they did so, Naruto placed one hand in the other, and with a quick twist subtly broke his left pinky. There was a brief burst of pain, but the world around him did not waver one bit.

Even through all the hell the boy had been in in the past week, his optimism remained intact. If there was even a chance that this reality was real and his mentor was alive, then for now he would accept it. Despite the oddness of the situation, Naruto began to talk.

xXx

As Naruto's story unfolded as they ran through the trees. Jiraiya found himself wanting to interject more than once, but held his tongue until his possibly insane student had finished.

"So let me get this straight." Jiraiya said as Naruto finished. "You're saying that Akatsuki's leader, Pain, is my old student Nagato. You're also saying that I went on a scouting mission to Amegakure and was _killed by said student_, who then killed and resurrected most of Konoha's population after you defeated him and convinced him to follow your ninja way. Furthermore, the true mastermind behind Akatsuki is a man named Tobi who used Edo Tensai to bring back an army of powerful shinobi, defeated you and then extracted the Kyuubi from you in order to cast an Infinite Tsukuyomi that's going to turn us all into zombies. You also believe that we could both be dead."

Naruto nodded, having calmed down somewhat due to Jiraiya's confident presence. "That's correct, Ero-Sennin."

Jiraiya stopped. "Normally, I'd say that you're insane. I am forced to admit, however, that quite a few parts of your story match up to things I know for a fact to be true. However, to the best of my knowledge I am not dead. Furthermore, Nagato was killed many years ago."

Naruto shook his head. "No, the only one to die was Yahiko. Konan and Nagato survived."

Knowing that his calm facade was the only thing keeping Naruto from having a panic attack, Jiraiya was doing his best to appear composed and unruffled. Inside, however, Naruto's supposed 'revelations' rocked him to his core. His two students were not only alive, but the leaders of the organization hunting his protegee? Itachi Uchiha had committed the Uchiha massacre on the orders of Konoha's elite? He had died? It all seemed utterly surreal, but it held too many elements of truth for a simple fever dream or a hallucination. But his death? He knew for a fact that that had never happened.

Wait.

There was a scroll he had read once. A scroll of theory, written by a man who had been effectively debarred from academic circles for coming up with something so outlandish.

"Naruto. What year did this Fourth Shinobi World War happen in?" Jiraiya said slowly, emphasizing every word.

Naruto looked at him strangely. "Uh, I think it was thirteen eighty-five."

A scroll titled _Travel through Time._

Jiraiya's eyes widened.

"Naruto." he whispered. "This is thirteen eighty-two!"

Naruto looked at him. Then looked down, at his adolescent body. Then back up at his very alive mentor.

"Wha... buh... Ero-Sennin." He stuttered, then leapt at Jiraiya, catching him in a bear hug. "Ero-Sennin!"

Jiraiya returned the hug, laughing. "I'm here, brat."

The cynical part of his brain tried to interject, but was beaten down by optimism, hope and joy.

The two stood there for a minute or so, before Jiraiya gently indicated that Naruto should let go. The boy did so, with a slightly awkward laugh.

Turning and setting off again, the two quickly reached the base of the pillars of red energy. Moving out of a patch of forest, Naruto found himself in a very familiar location.

The Konoha shonobi had emerged on a grassy cliffside, overlooking the sea. Right on the edge of the cliff were two small wooden crosses, degraded by wind and water. Behind the crosses was a huge, rusty broadsword as big as a fully grown man, impaled into the dirt. The columns of crimson energy stretched down from the clouds above and appeared to penetrate into the ground itself.

Before the two had time to do anything, the energy suddenly vanished. Seconds later, the silence was broken when a muscular arm forced its way out of the ground, followed by the head and torso of a very irate and very much alive Zabuza Momochi.

"**AKATSUKI!"**

For someone considered stupid, Naruto could on occasion be very quick to put things together. Zabuza had been present when the Kyuubi had nuked his insides during the extraction. Zabuza was yelling about a group he hadn't encountered in this world. Several other people had also been present at the extraction.

Oh. Oh no.

xXx

Tobi opened his eyes, looking up at the concerned face of a woman who was supposed to be dead.

"...What?"

xXx

Omake - (Inspired by Naruto Shippuden Episode 239)

The Suna-Oto invasion was in full swing. Konoha's buildings blazed furiously as shinobi fought atop them tooth and nail for their respective causes. Below them, civilians fled in all directions, trying desperately to avoid being caught in the cross-fire.

In one particular street, the legendary 67-year-old Eternal Genin Kosuke Maruboshi stood next to the first Ino–Shika–Chō Trio, surrounded by around twenty Konoha shinobi.

One of the chuunin stepped forward. "Shikaku-san, the enemy have entered the Western District. We should..."

Kosuke interrupted him, "Inoichi-san, Shikaku-san, Choza-san. The way you battle has such depth. You overwhelm your opponents while instilling courage in your allies."

The Ino-Shika-Cho trio smiled, as did most of the Konoha shinobi.

Katsuya, the chuunin who had spoken before, did not, "Yes, that's great Kosuke. Now, our people are getting massacred out there, we need to reinforce..."

Kosuke wasn't done, "A splendid formation that transforms your comrades' fears into bravery. The power of your experience, judgement and most of all your faith is magnificent!"

Katsuya looked around. Far from being concerned about the loss of life that had and was occurring all over Konoha, all the other shinobi seemed oblivious to their surroundings, even happy.

Shikaku laughed. "It's nothing like that, Kosuke-san"

Inoichi nodded. "We're just stuck with each other, whether we like it or not."

Katsuya clenched his fists. "There is an _invasion_ going on. This is _not_ the time for this."

Chouza ignored him. "Yeah, yeah, don't tell anyone. We just don't want to look bad in front of our kids, since we live in the same village, right?"

All the gathered shinobi laughed heartily.

"What the hell is wrong with you people? People are dying out there! Stop... Stop talking about yourselves and go help them!" Yelled Katsuya, ignored by all.

_(Several streets away)_

The group of Oto shinobi closed in on the three wounded Konoha shinobi, kunai glinting.

"For the love of God, where the hell are the reinforcements?" One of them screamed as the first jutsu was launched.

xXx

**Silly Filler. Seriously, watch it. The buildings around them are still visibly smoking, and at least twenty Konoha ninja are just standing around talking about how great the Ino-Shika-Cho team is. Even if there weren't any enemies in the immediate area, surely the hordes of wounded would need treating. Oh filler, you do so kill me!**

**Anyway, Review!**


	3. Chapter Three: Realization

**27/7/2012 - 3 Reviews, 5 Favorites, 5 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I do own Naruto! Wait... no. No I don't.**

**Extra-long (for me) chapter this time.**

Chapter 3: Realization

xXx

_(Yugakure)_

Bracing his hands against the wooden wall, Tobi gently levered himself up off the floor where he had been thrashing in agony not a minute before, silently attempting a genjutsu dissipation.

He was in a small, dimly-lit room. A dark-haired middle-aged woman standing over him, staring at him with concerned eyes.

He recognized this place. It was one of the private rooms of a rather exclusive club in Yugakure, a room set aside for private meetings between clients. The woman's name was Aisha. She was one of his informants.

She was also a woman who he had executed personally several years ago, after he had discovered that she had been leaking information to Iwagakure.

Just what in god's name was going on?

Aisha hesitantly moved to steady him, "Are you alright, sir?" She was cut off when his hand wrapped around her neck, pinning her to the wall.

"What sort of trick is this?" Tobi growled. "Where are the jinchuriki?"

"I... don't know... what you're talking about." Aisha gurgled, obviously terrified by his change in disposition.

Tobi laughed bitterly. "That woman has been dead for years. I killed her myself. What game are you trying to play?"

"K... Killed me?" she whispered.

Tobi tightened his hand. "Last chance. Where is Naruto Uzumaki?"

Aisha squirmed. "I don't..."

With a flick of his hand, Tobi broke the woman's neck. Dropping her body to the floor, he cast a stealth genjutsu over himself and slipped out the door into a wooden hallway, locking it behind him. The club's meeting rooms were both securely locked and soundproofed, so it would be a while before the woman's body would be discovered.

Silently slipping down the hallway, Tobi found himself in a the club's main hall. Apparently, it was either extremely late at night or incredibly early in the morning, as the club's usually popular bar was occupied by only slumbering drunks and a single tired-looking bartender. Above the club's karaoke stage, a pair of yawning employees were pulling down a garishly decorated banner, which bore the words **'Happy Watanagashi Festival 1382!'** in large golden letters.

Wait.

Thirteen eighty-two?

Tobi did a double take.

xXx

_(Wave Country)_

On the wide Wave Country clifftop, Naruto could only watch in stunned silence as the apparently perfectly healthy Zabuza screamed obscenities at Akatsuki. Unlike shinobi resurrected through Edo Tensei, the swordsman's body appeared absolutely normal, his eyes lacking the trademark Edo Tensei colouring. Naruto couldn't see any trace of decomposition, or even any scarring.

"Where the hell is that masked fucker?" Zabuza yelled, "I'm gonna..."

Zabuza suddenly seemed to regain some measure of situational awareness. More importantly, he noticed the two shinobi standing in front of him.

The nuke-nin went silent for a second. "...What?"

As Naruto stepped forward to respond, the strength seemed to drain from Zabuza's body. The man's eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped back into unconsciousness.

Jiraiya slowly lowered the kunai he had pulled out and turned to Naruto. "Kid, who is this guy?"

"His name is Zabuza Momochi. He's a nuke-nin from Kiri, and a former member of the Seven Swordsmen." Naruto answered. "He and Haku were there when I was... Wait! Ero-Sennin! There should be a second coffin! Dig it up!"

Not wasting time questioning his time-traveling student, Jiraiya immediately slammed his palm into the ground. **"Doton: Moving Earth Core!"**

The ground in front of the two parted and a severely degraded wooden coffin emerged from the depths. Naruto ran forward and yanked the lid off the coffin, flinging it aside.

Inside lay a male, raven-haired teenager, arms crossed across his chest. The figure was in their mid-teens, dressed in a highly damaged green turtleneck and large blue coat, along with a pair of baggy black pants which covered their legs. The teen's eyes were closed, but the slow rising and falling of their chest indicated that they were alive.

Naruto breathed out, "Haku..."

Haku. The shinobi whose heartfelt words and actions had been the catalyst in making him understand the true value of his precious people. Haku, one of the greatest influences of his life.

Like Zabuza, Haku appeared to be at the pinnacle of health, with no trace of the wounds he had received at that fateful battle on the bridge years ago. Reaching down, Naruto put his hand on the effeminate-looking boy's shoulder and gently tried to shake him awake. The teen remained as still as a corpse, only his soft breathing indicating that he remained part of the world of the living.

"This is Haku, Zabuza's apprentice." Naruto muttered. "We met on a mission back when I was a fresh genin, on opposite sides. The man who hired Zabuza betrayed the two of them, but not before we killed Haku. They were dead, Ero-Sennin. In this world, they've been dead for several months. But in the future, they were resurrected. They were there when Akatsuki tried to extract the Kyuubi."

"Do they seem like they've been resurrected through Edo Tensei?" Jiraiya asked.

Naruto shook his head, "No, I don't think people resurrected by the Edo Tensei can be knocked unconscious. Besides, Zabuza's eyes look normal. There's something else though. When Zabuza woke up just now, did you notice how he was yelling about Akatsuki and a masked man? It's possible that he encountered the group before without my knowledge, but I can't think of any reason why they would be the first thing to come to his mind instead of Gato or Kakashi-sensei unless _he remembers the future. _Ero-Sennin, I think that these two came back in time with me."

Naruto could see by the look on Jiraiya's face that the Sannin had immediately grasped the potential implications.

"Naruto, Who else was there when they tried to extract the Kyuubi?", Jiraiya spoke slowly, his voice even and utterly serious. " Who else could have come back?"

Naruto swallowed, "Kakashi-sensei, Gaara, Chiyo of Suna, Shikamaru, Asuma and... just about every member of Akatsuki besides Hidan and Kisame."

Jiraiya's look of horror matched Naruto's own. Akatsuki were already a terrible threat, but an Akatsuki with knowledge of the future? An Akatsuki who knew exactly who was going to be a thorn in their side, knew the abilities and strategies of their most powerful foes and already had information on every single jinchuriki? It was almost too horrible to contemplate.

Jiraiya wasn't known as a world class shinobi for nothing, though.

"Naruto, we need to get back to Konoha, tonight." Jiraiya said. "If what you're saying is correct, Akatsuki won't have any reason to wait anymore. Hell, they could be moving out as we speak. I may be powerful, but I can't hold them all off if they decide to blitzkrieg us. We need to get back and consult with Tsunade."

"What about Zabuza and Haku?" Naruto pointed to the two. "I'm not going to just leave them here."

Jiraiya shook his head. "They're missing-nin, Naruto. Sheltering missing-nin from another nation could seriously damage relations between us and Kiri. Why would you want to take them anyway? From the sounds of it, they tried to kill you."

"They're good people! Their employer is dead, so they don't have a reason to fight us. And they remember the future! The information they could give us is super-important, Ero-Sennin!" Naruto retorted.

"And what if they're still upset about the fact that you killed them? What if they kill Konoha shinobi?" Jiraiya demanded.

"They won't. Trust me." Naruto replied, determination clear on his face.

Jiraiya sighed. "Fine. They can come with us for now, but this is on your head. We can discuss this with Tsunade when we get to Konoha."

"Thanks Ero-Sennin!" Naruto grinned, then scratched the back of his head. "We should probably wake them up, though."

Naruto tried to shake Haku awake again. Jiraiya cautiously dragged Zabuza's body out of his grave and did the same, ready to dodge backwards at the first sign of aggression. Neither shinobi stirred.

Jiraiya turned to Naruto, electricity from the same Raiton jutsu that he had used to wake the Uzumaki crackling between his fingers "Well, desperate situations call for desperate measures, ne?"

Before Naruto could do anything, Jiraiya drove his fingers deep into Zabuza's side. The swordsman's body arched, but he remained unconscious.

Jiraiya stepped back, "Huh. Well, it looks like they won't be waking up anytime soon. Guess we'll just have to carry them."

"On it." Naruto answered, **"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"**

Once again, the clones failed to materialize and Naruto fell to his knees, letting out a shout of pain.

"Ero-Sennin." Naruto groaned through gritted teeth, "I think something's screwing up my chakra."

"Don't use it until we get to Konoha." Jiraiya replied as he moved to help Naruto up. "We can get Tsunade to have a look at it. In the meantime, let the Great Toad Sage Jiraiya handle this!"

The Sannin sliced his thumb open on his tooth and slammed his hand down onto the ground. **"Summoning Jutsu!"**

Immediately, a titanic cloud of smoke materialized throughout the surrounding landscape. As it cleared, it revealed a gigantic magenta toad dressed in a large black robe and wielding a spiked sasumata and shield. The toad looked around, weapons at the ready, and noticed the ninja standing under him.

"Jiraiya? Why have you summoned me?" The large toad rumbled.

"Sorry, Gamaken." The Toad Sage replied. "I need you to get Naruto and I back to Konoha as fast as possible, along with two unconscious shinobi. It's an emergency."

Gamaken lowered his weapons. "Wouldn't Gamabunta or Gamahiro be a better choice? I'm fairly clumsy, you see."

"No, I trust you, Gamaken." The Sannin responded soothingly. What Jiraiya left unsaid was that the combat-obsessed Gamahiro would probably just ignore Jiraiya's request, while Gamabunta would likely punt him off the cliff for summoning him to act as a lowly mount.

The great toad sighed. "Very well. Ungraceful as I am, I will do my best."

The toad lowered down onto his front legs. Grabbing Zabuza and Haku, The Konoha ninja climbed up onto Gakaken's head, the Sannin casting a quick adhesive jutsu to make sure that the four would not fall off during the journey. With a great leap, the toad began the journey to Konoha.

xXx

_(The Border of Fire and Rice Country)_

The Valley of the End was known throughout the Elemental Nations as one of Fire Country's top tourist destinations. An artificial geographical landmark created during the titanic battle between Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha, the valley was breathtaking to behold, particularly the gigantic statues of Konoha's founders,

Recently, however, a location only a few miles away from the entrance to the valley had been developing a tourist reputation of its own. From all around Fire Country, people would come and marvel at the huge forest of razor-sharp bones which seemed to have just sprung up out of nowhere about a year ago. A few souls had attempted to try and clear away some of the bones, but the white material had proved shockingly dense and they could do little but scrape at the sides.

It was perhaps lucky that no one was present at the site during the night of the Watanagashi Festival of 1382. For when the one who had produced the forest opened his eyes for the first time in a year, he was feeling absolutely murderous.

_(Kimimaro's Flashback)_

_Leaping through the trees, carrying the mangled corpse of Kakashi Hatake on his back, Kimimaro found Lord Orochimaru's chakra guiding him into a small clearing. Standing over the unconscious body of a Kiri shinobi was another of his master's servants, Kabuto. To the right of the clearing was the shinobi who he had sacrificed his life for, Sasuke Uchiha. The Sharingan-user was leaning against a tree, impatience clear on his face._

_Tossing the body at Kabuto's feet, Kimimaro noticed that something was clearly wrong with Kabuto. The medic's usually intelligent eyes were dull and lacking in life, staring blankly ahead. Kimimaro could see a thin trail of drool leaking out of the man's mouth, which Kabuto was making no attempt to clean up._

_As Kabuto began vacantly preparing for Kakashi's resurrection, Kimimaro turned to the Uchiha, who was staring at the corpse with an oddly pensive expression._

"_Uchiha-san. What is it that Lord Orochimaru requires of me next?" He asked._

_Sasuke looked up at him, a confused expression on his face. "Orochimaru?" His eyes registered just who was standing in front of him. "You're the bone user. Kimimaro wasn't it?"_

_The Kaguya nodded._

"_Orochimaru is dead. He's been dead for several months now." Sasuke said distractedly, eyes returning to Kakashi's body._

_Kimimaro started. "What? Lies!" He growled. "I can feel Lord Orochimaru's chakra flowing through my body!"_

_Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the vehemence of Kimimaro's words. A small smirk crossed Sasuke's face as he gave the Kaguya his full attention._

"_That's because Kabuto here absorbed some of Orochimaru's body after his death. Orochimaru himself is gone." Sasuke replied. "I should know. I killed him myself."_

"_Blasphemy!" Kimimaro raged, as he tried to will his body to attack the sacrilegious trash in front of him. "Lord Orochimaru would never fall to the likes of you!"_

_Sasuke leered at him, "Kabuto, why don't you tell him? Better yet, show him!"_

_The medic looked up from his preparations for the Edo Tensei, transfixing Kimimaro with his empty, snake-like eyes. As Kabuto lifted his hands into a seal, Kimimaro found his body moving against his will, forcing him down into a submissive crouch._

"_What Sasuke says is true. I have absorbed parts of Orochimaru into my system. Orochimaru is dead." Kabuto said dully, voice emotionless and dead._

_Kimimaro fell into stunned silence for a second. Serving Lord Orochimaru was his only goal, the only thing that gave him purpose in life. The man had taken him in, had defined the core of who he was. He had given his life to help further Lord Orochimaru's ambitions and goals, and would do so a thousand times over. But Sasuke, the very person he had sacrificed his life for to ensure he reached Lord Orochimaru, had been the one to kill him. Horror, guilt and primal fury washed over him, battling for dominance. Fury won._

_The Kaguya began straining against Kabuto's control, pushing every bit of willpower he had into trying to mobilize his body into action. A familiar warmth started flowing across his body as slowly but surely, the marks of his Cursed Seal of Earth began creeping across his chest._

_The Kaguya growled. "You will die for this, both of you! I am going to take your heads!"_

_Sasuke span around to Kabuto, slightly unnerved. "Kabuto, remove his personality! Now!"_

_Kabuto dully made a hand seal. Instantly, Kimimaro found himself shut inside his own mind, a prisoner within himself. Externally, Kimimaro's body went slack, his cursed seal receding and his eyes becoming dull, emotionless orbs. As a masked man arrived and began directing Kabuto and Sasuke, Kimimaro could do nothing but rage inside his own mind as his body moved against his will._

_(End Flashback)_

Kimimaro Kaguya's eyes flew open. The bone pillar that he was encased in exploded in a shower of fragments as the shinobi leapt free and flew across the bone forest, jumping from spike to spike. The Kaguya landed in a crouch on the ground next to the impenetrable wall of bone, curse mark receded.

He was in control of his body again! What's more, he could feel the course grains of the dirt beneath him grating into his knee. He lived again, not the non-feeling half-life of the Edo Tensei, but true, independent life! His breathing was easy, he could feel no trace of the deadly respiratory illness which had crippled him for as long as he could remember. Kimimaro felt better than he had felt in a long time.

The reason behind his resurrection did not matter. The mechanism of his resurrection did not matter. He would hunt down Lord Orochimaru's killer, Sasuke Uchiha. He would hunt down Lord Orochimaru's traitorous servant, Kabuto Yakushi. He would make them scream, he would make them suffer, and then he would kill them. After that...

Kimimaro blinked. What happened afterwards was irrelevant. All that mattered right now was taking vengeance for Lord Orochimaru.

The Kaguya ran off into the darkness in the direction of Sound Country, with not a living soul save for birds and rodents noticing his passage.

xXx

_(Konoha)_

Kakashi Hatake's career had not been a nice one. He had seen sights that would have broken lesser men, done thing that should have left him a gibbering wreck. Life as an elite shinobi tended to be extremely unpleasant, and an unpleasantly large proportion of the time ninja of A-rank or above ended their careers in a mental institution.

In the entirety of his time as a shinobi, however, Kakashi had encountered few things more horrendous, or annoying, than a drunk Guy.

Kakashi groaned as Guy tried and failed to come on to yet another random passerby in the shadowy Konoha street.

The Watanagashi festival was based around two central points. One, it was a time when you were supposed to return to the place you called home, and contemplate the good things in your life. Two, you were obligated to drink until you couldn't walk, then drink some more. Ninja especially held the holiday in reverence, which meant that the Watanagashi festival was one of the few times when the majority of shinobi were actually present in their village rather than out on missions. There were a few exceptions, obviously ninja on deep-cover or year-spanning missions could not simply take a day off, but most shinobi would return to their hidden villages, if just for the day.

Which led to the current situation, a mildly intoxicated Kakashi trying to lead a roaring drunk Guy to his home without the latter breaking too many public decency laws.

"Come on... hic... I am the...hic... the Green Baste of Konoha! Springtime of Love!" Guy roared, leaning heavily on Kakashi. The obviously disturbed object of his affections, a balding middle-aged man in a cheap suit, began walking very quickly in the opposite direction.

Kakashi sighed. "Come on, the sooner you get home, the sooner I can go to sleep."

Guy turned his head towards Kakashi as if noticing him for the first time.

"Hello there, my... hic... Eternal Rival Kasakhi!" He yelled, his face contorting into a mildly lecherous grin. "You're looking very... hic... handsome tonight."

As Kakashi had learnt very early in their friendship, sober Guy had nothing on drunk Guy. A sober Guy would just yell at you about youth and challenge you to competitions. Drunk Guy was lustful. Drunk Guy would try and seduce just about anything above legal age, be it man, woman or inanimate object. Drunk Guy was, in short, a damn pain in the ass.

Dragging Guy away from his attempts to romance a telegraph pole, Kakashi found that to his great joy, he was only a few doors away from the man's house. Not wanting to deal with Guy trying to convince him to join him in the man's bed, Kakashi quickly swiped the house keys out of Guy's pocket and yanked the door open. Kakashi then shoved Guy inside and shut the door after him. Listening at the door for a few seconds to make sure the man wasn't going to try and seduce his toaster, Kakashi was rewarded with the sound of Guy tumbling into his bed, asleep the moment he hit the pillow.

The copy-nin began the long walk home, refraining from using jutsu or chakra due to his mildly inebriated state. Konoha's dimly-lit paved streets were filled with drunks, both shinobi and civilians, though thankfully few as bad as Guy. Kakashi sighed as he thought the present condition of his life. Naruto was off with Jiraiya at god-knows-where, training for the arrival of Akatsuki. He still trained Sakura occasionally, but Tsunade seemed to have adopted her as an apprentice. Sasuke was better off not being mentioned at all. He had a few friends, but his eccentricities often seemed to turn people away. With his genin team all but gone, he was back on active duty. His 27th birthday was coming up in a few months and Kakashi felt so very, very old.

Suddenly, every muscle in Kakashi's body went taunt as his danger sense, honed through decades of experience, went haywire. Instantly fully alert, the copy-nin pulled out a kunai and shifted back against the wall, eyes searching everywhere for the threat.

But there was nothing. No attack, no visible danger, just inebriated men and women slowly making their way back home.

Suddenly, one of the people near him, a brown-haired Konoha shinobi, let out a scream of primal agony and clutched at his head. Seconds later, another shinobi did the same, falling to her knees in pain. A ethereal dark orange aura of energy began to manifest around them, dark tendrils lashing out towards the horrified onlookers. The copy-nin could identify it instantly, for he had seen it emerge from Naruto in the past. It was the chakra of a bijuu.

As Kakashi moved to get a civilian to safety, a bright red column of light flew down from the heavens, transfixing the copy-nin. Every nerve in his body was instantly set alight, immobilizing him completely. A tendril of the orange energy surrounding the brown-haired man lashed towards him and he felt it scorch his arm before the red power forced it back. As he lost consciousness, Kakashi could do nothing but watch as the sky above Konoha was saturated with the orange energy, a great miasma stretching across the whole village.

xXx

_(Yugakure)_

Everything was gone.

Tobi had inquired all around the town, picking people to ask at random. All gave the same response, claiming that it was the morning of the 22nd of July, the day after the Watanagashi festival of 1382.

Either he had travelled backwards in time, or he was in a genjutsu too powerful for even him to break. In either case, he was screwed.

If someone was powerful enough to trap him in genjutsu, then such an individual would have no problem picking him off at their leisure. If this were the case, then all his plans would almost certainly come to nothing.

If, on the other hand, this was really the past, then all of the work of the last three years had been erased. All the bijuu that had been painstakingly harvested after this point had almost certainly returned to their hosts. The great White Zetsu Army at this point in time consisted of only a few dozen clones, fuelled by his sole remaining Bijuu, the Yonbi. Years of arduous manipulations from the shadows, constant pandering to Nagato's god-complex and maintaining his exhausting childish facade, all reversed in the blink of an eye. And he would bet on his life that the Kyuubi's jailer was responsible.

Every single time, it always seemed to cycle back to Konoha.

Hashirama Senju, who had defeated the original Madara Uchiha during the battle at the Valley of the End? **Konoha**.

Minato Namikaze and his wife Kushina, who had prevented his plan of using the Kyuubi to destroy the village from coming to fruition? **Konoha**.

Itachi Uchiha, who had erased years of carefully breeding enmity between the village and the Uchiha against each other in a single night? **Konoha**.

The shinobi behind the deaths of almost every one of his Akatsuki? **Konoha**.

And now Naruto Uzumaki. Son of the Fourth. Descendant of the First. "Future Hokage." **Konoha**.

_Every. Goddamn. Time._

Even with his years of controlling his emotions, Tobi could not stop his fists from shaking from sheer rage. He had wasted decades of his life maneuvering pawns and implementing complex and layered plots. He had tried to show restraint. And yet, time after _fucking _time, the buffoons of Konoha had blundered in, tossed around a few jutsu and come out on top.

No more. If he really had returned to the past, there would be no more skulking in the shadows, no more intricate, decade-long strategies. He would strike fast, and he would strike hard, and he would obliterate Konoha with all the brute force he possessed. Tonight.

Preparing his space-time jutsu, Tobi began imagining how his imminent assault on the Leaf Village would play out.

First, Nagato would use his Shinra Tensei to wipe out the village's infrastructure and defenses, as well as kill a large proportion of the village's population. He would then have Nagato send every summon he possessed, while Deidara bombarded any pockets of resistance with his C3 bombs. Hidan, Kakuzu and Sasori would move in to Anbu headquarters, while Kisame would flood Konoha's sewers with water, drowning as many of Danzo's Root as possible. Konan and the Path's of Pain would then move in through the chaos and eliminate the village's leadership. Tobi himself would then join the battle, and use the Statue of the Outer Path to rip the souls out of anyone who proved particularly troublesome. Of course, Itachi would have to be either neutralized or sent on a wild goose chase beforehand in order to prevent his interference. He would have the original Zetsu keep a watch in the trees and make sure no one of importance escaped...

_(Amegakure)_

Tobi arrived at his destination, his scheming cut short as he began preparing for yet another ego-pandering "God" speech to manipulate Nagato into doing his bidding.

Materializing in the large room containing Nagato's real body, Tobi noted that the Rinnegan bearer appeared to be slumped wearily in his throne, as if fatigued. The man's companion, Konan, stood over him, concern etched on her face.

Tobi walked towards the base of the man's gigantic mechanical chair, coming to a stop and kneeling at the base of the flight of stone steps leading up to it.

"Lord Pain, I have a request for you." Tobi started.

A lightning fast intangibility technique saved Tobi from certain death, as a large beam of pure chakra went straight through his body and tore through most of the room behind him. A huge gaping hole was opened in building, through which most of Amegakure could be seen below.

Rain lashing at his back from the gap behind him, Tobi looked up to see Nagato glaring at him with eyes glittering with unbridled hatred and malice, his Asura Path standing defensively in front of him and a bewildered looking Konan.

It was at this point that Tobi finally realized that he hadn't come back alone.

xXx

**AN: You know that whole canon thing? Yeah, that's not going to be happening much in this story.**

**I enjoyed writing the Kakashi and Kimimaro parts of the story far more than Tobi's or Naruto's. Not sure why.**

**In case you hadn't guessed, this is going to end badly for Konoha. It means angst, but we'll get there in the end.**

**Tobi's anger moment inspired by Kenchi618's story The Sealed Kunai. Go read it, it's sure as hell better than mine.**

**Watanagashi Festival comes from Higurashi, in name only.**

**Anyway, go and review. If you don't, I'll redo the Chuunin Exam Arc! And it will be almost identical to canon, and contain no original ideas! Fear my blandness! Ahahaha!**


	4. Chapter Four: Tobi's Bad Day

**30/7/2012 - 10 Reviews, 11 Favorites, 14 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters. I (probably) "own" any original characters I come up with, but let's be honest here, nobody really wants those anyway.**

Chapter Four: Tobi's Bad Day

xXx

_(Mountain's Graveyard - Three Years in the future)_

_As the resurrected Akatsuki members began preparing the Hachibi jinchūriki for extraction, Tobi strode over to where the rejuvenated Nagato was standing to attention. The Rinnegan user had had control of his body taken away from him, but Tobi could see a flicker of recognition in the man's otherwise dead eyes as he approached._

"_Hello, 'Lord Pain'." Tobi said, bowing mockingly. "I hope that you're finding your current circumstances to be satisfactory."_

_As expected, Nagato did not respond. From the information he had extracted from Kabuto, however, Tobi knew that the man could still hear him, even if he couldn't show it._

"_So, Nagato, that whole trusting the Uzumaki thing didn't really pan out, did it?" Tobi sneered. "Betraying the Akatsuki, wasting your resurrection technique on a village that's just going to die anyway."_

_Tobi leaned close to Nagato, whispering in his ear. "I was never really going to put that plan of yours into motion, you know. All those years, I was controlling you and you and Konan danced like puppets on a string. I killed her too, you know. She died by my hand, begging for her life. It was pitiful."_

_Tobi could almost hear Nagato's internal screams of anger. He smiled maliciously behind his mask._

"_Let me explain what my true objective has been." He said. Making sure none of the other Akatsuki members still loyal to him could hear, he began explaining the details of his Eye of the Moon Plan to the helpless man in front of him. At a couple of points, he thought he even witnessed Nagato's eyes widen in sheer horror._

_Stepping backwards, he made a dismissive motion with his hand. "Off you go, my lord. After all, there's still plenty of work to be done._

_As Nagato departed, Tobi noticed that the bound and sealed Itachi was staring at him, an indecipherable look on his face. Tobi laughed softly to himself. Even if the man had somehow overheard, it mattered not. Finally, everything had come together._

xXx

_(Amekagure - Present)_

"Tobi!" Nagato roared. "I'm going to kill you!"

Asura Path disconnected one of its hands from the wrist, revealing a thick cord covered in small ogive-shaped objects. The strange missiles took flight, homing in on Tobi. The masked man danced out of the way, allowing them to explode harmlessly in the room behind him.

Tobi's mind was working a mile a minute. The only things he could think of that might have engendered Nagato's intense hatred were powerful genjutsu or if the man remembered the future. Tobi decided to test his theory.

"Lord Pain, what are you doing?" He yelled, inserting just the correct amount of betrayal and confusion into his voice.

"No more tricks, Tobi! I know all about your Eye of the Moon Plan!" Nagato yelled back, his Asura Path firing off another wave of the explosive missiles.

Well, that proved it. Turning intangible, Tobi noted that Konan appeared utterly lost. Good, that would suggest that she did not remember her death at his hand.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The masked man retorted. "Lord Pain, you have been deceived!"

Nagato's glare could have frozen a volcano. "Enough talking!"

Hmm. It appeared that diplomacy was no longer an option. Nagato was looking at him with the same loathing and repugnance that he himself had felt towards Minato Namikaze, a hatred that had permeated his entire being. Nagato, the lynch pin in so many of his plans, had irreversibly set himself against him.

Turning his head, Tobi noticed through the gap in the wall the other five Paths of Pain speeding up towards the tower. By the looks of it, the Deva Path would arrive in less than thirty seconds, with the others coming soon after.

In the heat of the moment, Tobi made a split second decision. Nagato was more than a lost cause, he was a liability. The man was absurdly powerful, incredibly determined and could prove just as much of a thorn in his side as Konoha. Tobi would not allow the power of the Rinnegan to be turned against him.

Tobi materialized again, hands flying through a sequence of seals. Nagato's Asura Path fired off yet another wave of projectiles. Tobi allowed himself to take the hit to the shoulder, unwilling to break the sequence by dematerializing. Sucking in a lungful of air, Tobi launched the jutsu, "**Katon: Fire Dragon Flame Bullet!"**

A torrent of fire came pouring out of Tobi's mask, taking the form of a gigantic, vicious-looking dragon. The fire jutsu soared through the air, heading for the two leaders of Amegakure. As it closed in, Tobi extended his hand, and the dragon turned slightly, making a beeline for Konan.

As Tobi had expected, Nagato's Asura Path moved to protect Konan. The reanimated corpse leapt into the path of the jutsu and was engulfed in a fiery conflagration.

Neither Nagato nor Konan noticed Tobi subtly fling a lone kunai into the backdraft of the Katon technique.

The fire dragon faded away to reveal a severely charred but still standing Asura Path. Konan stepped forward, preparing to launch a wave of paper shuriken at the man who had attacked her childhood friend.

Suddenly, the chair-bound Nagato let out a gurgled cry. Reaching up with a shaking hand, the man fingered the kunai that was embedded deep in his neck. In front of him, his Asura Path dropped to the ground like a stone, utterly lifeless.

As he'd thought. Nagato had spent so much of his life looking at the world through his Paths that he'd stopped thinking about his real body. When he'd returned to the past, he'd immediately snapped back into that habit. The big, flashy attack on Konan had just been a distraction.

"Rest assured, unlike last time, your death with not be in vain, Nagato." Tobi said softly, voice echoing around the room. "Now burn in hell, traitor."

Grimacing at his mangled shoulder, Tobi decided against trying to eliminate Konan, who was moving to assist the dying Nagato. In his damaged condition, his victory would not be assured. Once he was back to full strength he would return and erase the loose end on his terms, this time without the loss of a Sharingan.

In front of him, Konan appeared to be trying to use some sort of medical jutsu to close the hole in Nagato's neck, to no avail. Nagato himself had slumped back in his chair, breathing ragged and weak.

Staying long enough to hear Nagato's death rattle, Tobi activated his space-time jutsu and departed, just in time to dodge Konan's final attack.

xXx

_(Land of Mountains)_

It was an unfortunate facet of ninja life that the more powerful the shinobi, the more eccentric they usually turned out to be. There were many potential theories put forward trying to explain this, ranging from increased stress levels to chakra messing with the brain. As a general rule of thumb however; Genin-levels were usually fairly normal people with an occasional quirk; Chuunin-levels were usually considered eccentric, Jounin-levels would range from plain weirdness to "Power of Youth" bizzarity and Kage-levels and up were often simply insane (although were often very good at hiding it), constantly developing obsessions or coming up with fantastical plans for world domination.

Case in point, Kiri Akuryou. Harkening from an unknown village several decades ago, Kiri had supposedly been hailed as a medical prodigy, only a couple of steps below Tsunade. Growing sick of all the fighting and violence, Kiri had decided to leave his village and set up a medical village of healers who would treat anyone, regardless of allegiance or creed.

For reasons no one had ever been able to deduce, however, Kiri had decided to set up his village in the most inaccessible place on the entire continent, smack bang in the center of the aptly named "Mountains of Death." To reach the village by foot would take about three weeks of walking, through mountains famous for their violent ice storms, constant avalanches and gigantic roving packs of dire wolves. As such, anyone who had been sick at the start of the journey would likely be dead by the end of it.

Unsurprisingly, visitors to the elderly hermit's village were rare, aside from the occasional, extremely resilient apprentice seeking his tutelage. The lack of regular human contact hadn't helped Kiri's already fragile mental state, either.

He was a damn good medic-nin, though, so Tobi found himself willing to bear the old man's ramblings. The wound that he had taken to the arm, while not life-threatening, was definitely serious.

"Tobi, my good friend! How have you been? Kiri and Genno have been so worried!" The old man yelled as Tobi materialized on the plateau of Kiri's "village". The hermit looked to be in his late sixties, with long grey hair, a set slightly disheveled white surgeon clothes that were basically all he wore and pale, almost pupil-less violet eyes. On top of the man's head was a crude approximation of a purple Kage hat, with the words Reikikage written in bright white letters across the brim. Sitting smack-bang in the middle of the hat was Genno, a crudely made stuffed frog that the man always carried with him.

Tobi nodded cordially to the man, deftly sidestepping Kiri's attempts to hug him. "The same to you. I've been wounded in my left shoulder, I need you to treat it."

Kiri laughed. "Yessir! Kiri is just the Kage for the job."

The medic's voice became low and serious. "I should warn you though, the living shadows have been snooping around again. If you don't want the small rodent to free your tail, you'd best be cautious. He's a crafty one!"

Kiri motioned for Tobi to enter his "village", which consisted of a small, three-room hut. Walking through the small door, Tobi sighed. Had anyone else showed such blatant disrespect for his personal space, he would have been tempted to kill them. He really didn't know why he put up with the man. Maybe he simply found it refreshing to deal with someone he didn't have to constantly deceive, manipulate or watch his back around all the time. After all, the man had been the inspiration for his cheerful persona, specifically designed to make people dismiss and lower their guard around him.

Actually, now that he thought about it, the insane man was the closest thing he had to a friend.

...An odd thought. Tobi hadn't contemplated the concept of 'friends' for a long time. It appeared that having all his plans ruined in the space of a single moment was affecting his mental state.

Kiri led him to a long wooden bench, indicating that he should lie down. He complied without comment, feeling the burning sensation immediately fade as bright green energy emerged from the man's palms. Say what you would about the man's mental state, he knew his stuff. Tobi had on numerous occasions been tempted to try and make Kiri Akatsuki's official medic, but had decided against it. Kiri was adamant about being neutral in all affairs, and any attempt to force him to leave his mountain home would likely not end well. Tobi remembered the time when two patients had arrived at the same time, and the Konoha-nin had tried to kill the Iwa-nin during his treatment. Kiri had turned deadly serious, and mercilessly dispatched the Konoha shinobi with a kunai. The man seemed much more threatening when you realized that the only available food sources were the rabid wolf packs which populated the mountains.

True, with enough genjutsu and a little conditioning he could probably brainwash the man into servitude, but that would probably dull his medical skills. Besides, he didn't really see the point. With his space-time jutsu he could travel here whenever he wished and having what amounted to his own personal medic was extremely useful.

"So, Tobi, Una the fox spirit has been asking how that club you're part of is going again. Do you have any good news?" Kiri asked cheerfully, startling Tobi out of his train of thought.

Ah yes, the man also had a number of imaginary friends, who seemed to take an unhealthy interest in his work. Rama the door and Hirama the pillar had mysteriously disappeared a few years ago, but Una and Ito the spinning top still made frequent inquiries.

Tobi decided to humor him. "Tell Una that all isn't lost, but we've hit a pretty major setback."

Kiri nodded sagely, returning to his healing. Tobi grimaced under his mask. "Pretty major" didn't even begin to cover it. Nagato's death and defection would prove disastrous to a huge number of his plans! Not had were his plans for Madara Uchiha's resurrection curtailed once again, but he no longer had the strength to attack Konoha directly. The fact that Nagato had travelled back in time with him was a catastrophe!

Tobi had been trying to distract himself from the utter disaster that had just befallen his plans by focusing his thoughts on the inconsequent mountain medic, but an unpleasant thought occurred to him. Come to think of it, it might not just be limited to him and Nagato. Obviously, not everyone had travelled back, Konan and Yukigure's population proved that much. The reaction of the Kyuubi's chakra with the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path almost certainly had something to do with it, so it was likely limited to the people in or near the cavern. If any of his Akatsuki had come back with him, it could prove a serious boon or a serious threat. Thankfully, he hadn't revealed his true purpose to any of them, save Nagato.

Kisame and Hidan were out. In the other timeline Kisame had met his end on Kumo's floating island, while Hidan had seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth around the same time as Kakuzu's first death. Still, he had the former's utter loyalty, while the latter was an unintelligent, manipulatable brute.

In the future, Zetsu had met his end at the hands of Itachi. The plant-man was the most loyal member of all.

Konan wasn't going to be joining him anytime soon.

If Kakuzu had returned, it would be to his advantage. Kakuzu could be easily controlled by his lust for money, and wasn't likely to fall for the tricks that had led to his death the first time.

Sasori's return would also be fortunate. While the puppeteer didn't have a manipulatable vice like Kakuzu's greed, Sasori had never shown any discontent towards Akatsuki's objective of world domination.

Deidara could be a little more troublesome. The man was extremely unpredictable and often suicidal, and it was eminently possible that Deidara would hold a grudge about being controlled through the Edo Tensei. Still, with enough time he should be able to bring the explosives-user around. Loosing his orange mask again would probably make the task much easier, as Deidara likely associated it with his incredibly irritating facade.

Itachi would... would...

Oh.

Oh fuck.

xXx

_(Flashback - The Land of Lightning)_

_As Tobi sealed the bijuu back into the container, he looked out to where his resurrected shinobi were binding and sealing the two rogue jinchuriki. Both looked like death warmed up, the Hachibi container had had an arm and a leg violently ripped off, while Naruto had had almost every bone in his body broken by Madara Uchiha. Amazingly, the blonde shinobi was still conscious, if only barely._

_Suddenly, the upper half Naruto's body began writhing violently, as if something was trying to escape. As Tobi watched, Naruto's mouth was forced open and out flew an ink black crow. Immediately, the Third Raikage snatched it out of the air, crushing it in his hand._

_Tobi raised an eyebrow. "That was odd."_

_As the resurrected moved in to make sure Naruto wasn't going to try some last-resort technique, a violent red flame began manifesting around one of them, taking the form of a gigantic ethereal humanoid._

_Itachi Uchiha stepped out of the crowd of resurrected, freed from Kabuto's and Tobi's control through Shusui's Sharingan. A brilliant golden blade of light materialized in his hand, impaling the Third Raikage and the Fourth Kazekage. Immediately, the two flew into the gourd inside the Susanoo, sealed for eternity._

_The various resurrected shinobi leapt backwards, launching jutsu at the Uchiha. In response, a wave of black flames flew through the air, igniting most of the surrounding area. A huge number of Tobi's troops were caught in the crossfire, their flesh melting even as it reformed. Among these was the original Zetsu, who was almost instantaneously reduced to a pile of burning ashes._

_Itachi moved to try and retrieve the Kyuubi jinchuriki, launching off jutsu after jutsu at his enemies. Yet powerful as Itachi was, he was not stronger than all the other resurrected combined. Under the incredible flurry of attacks, even his Susanoo could not hold. In the end Itachi fell, his chakra sealed and useless. Tobi was kind enough to allow Itachi to keep his consciousness, so that he would be able to witness the Eye of the Moon Plan come to fruition._

xXx

_(End Flashback)_

Itachi, who he had lied to, betrayed and manipulated. Itachi, who almost certainly knew his true plans for Sasuke. Itachi, who could possibly have heard him gloating to Nagato. Itachi, who if his memory was correct was currently on a mission _in the Land of Lightning_, a short distance from where he was storing the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path.

Tobi flung himself off Kiri's bench and dashed for the door, ignoring the fact that his wound wasn't fully healed yet. Running out onto the plateau, hands flying through seals, Tobi slammed his palm down into the freezing earth. "**Summoning!"**

He felt his chakra levels drop slightly, and a thick fog appeared around him, obscuring his vision. The alpine wind quickly dispersed the smoke, revealing... statue wasn't there.

Starting to feel panicked, Tobi tried the summoning jutsu again. Once again, it resulted in nothing but smoke and chakra loss.

Kiri walked up beside him. "What's up, Tobi? Having connection problems?"

Tobi felt a wave of dread wash over him. If the statue itself wasn't coming to him but he was still feeling chakra loss, it could only mean one thing. But surely Itachi couldn't have... It had only been a few hours...

Tobi quickly activated his transportation jutsu, leaving a mildly amused-looking Kiri standing alone on the mountaintop.

xXx

_(Akatsuki Hideout, Mountain's Graveyard)_

Emerging onto in the lotus cavern underneath Mountain's Graveyard, Tobi was confronted with a terrible scene. The entire cave was alight with black flames, burning everything in sight. All around the dungeon Tobi could spot pieces of White Zetsus, obviously slain by some intelligent force. The gigantic flower that had held up the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path had been burnt beyond repair by the flames of Amaterasu, its remains lying at the base of the cavern, still blazing with the black fire. The non-sentient clone of Hashirama Senju, instrumental in the creation of his Zetsu army, had evidently been destroyed. Of the statue itself, all he could see was a single useless tooth.

Itachi had done his work well. He had most certainly come back to the past with Tobi. And he was long gone.

All alone in the cave, Tobi screamed in frustration.

The Uchiha had ruined everything! The Yonbi was gone and wouldn't reform for several years! The vessel for the Juubi, as well as his most powerful weapon, had been obliterated! The clone he had worked so hard to cultivate had been erased, and with it his ability to create an army!

On top of everything else, Tobi realized that all the other people who had been present for Naruto's extraction could have returned to the past with him, including the Kyuubi jinchuriki himself. Fueled by his rage, fire hot enough to melt stone poured out of his mask, burning a huge hole in the already ravaged floor.

Everything was gone.

xXx

_(Border of the Land of Fire)_

"**Karasu Messenger.**"

In Itachi's hand, a crow-like mass of chakra came into being, staring at him with beady, red eyes. Itachi tied a small scroll around the construct's leg, and gently released it into the air.

"The Hokage." He said softly.

The crow flew off, heading in the direction of Fire Country. It would carry the scroll to a trusted contact, who would deliver it anonymously to the Hokage. The scroll contained details about every member of Akatsuki, revealed Tobi's true objective and explained that they had travelled through time. Itachi could only hope that Tsunade wouldn't dismiss his fantastical story out of hand.

After the red pillar of energy had vanished and the pain had stopped, it hadn't taken Itachi long to work out what had happened. Knocking out the unprepared Kisame with a quick genjutsu, Itachi had headed to Mountain's Graveyard as fast as he could, and obliterated everything he found. For the foreseeable future at least, Akatsuki's plans for the bijuu had been averted.

It was clear from the events that had taken place after his death that Tobi had no intention of keeping his word in regards to Sasuke. His time in Akatsuki, for better or worse, was over.

The information he had for Konoha was too important to be trusted to a jutsu. First, he would travel to Konoha and he would inform the Hokage in person of the crucial information he possessed. Hopefully, she would be willing to listen and wouldn't attack him on sight. Then...

Then he would track down his brother and he would do what he should have done from the beginning. He would tell Sasuke the truth about everything. He would tell him of the Uchiha rebellion, of Danzo, of Tobi. And if his little brother still believed, after all that, that his life should be taken as payment for his sins, then he would give it gladly. The web of lies and deception that he constructed in his last life had brought Sasuke nothing but death and hatred. Now was the time for truth.

The red energy had done more than just take him back to the past. The fatal internal illness that had weakened him for so long had evidently been healed with it. Not only that, but the energy had repaired the damage that the Mangekyo had done to his eyes at the same time. Itachi Uchiha could finally see clearly, both literally and figuratively, for the first time in a very long time.

The Konoha shinobi launched himself into the trees of the Land of Fire, dust trailing in his wake.

xXx

_(Amekagure - Earlier that day)_

Konan lifted her hands over her head, creating a razor-sharp ring of paper. "**Paper Chakram!**"

The disc flew through the air, slicing through the already severely damaged wall at the opposite end of the room. It was no use, Tobi was already gone.

Konan numbly fell to the stone floor, oblivious to the rain that was pouring through the gap in the wall. Nagato was dead. The only person she had left, the man she loved despite his remoteness, was gone.

She didn't even know why. That weird red light that had struck Nagato had to have something to do with it, but why would he attack Madara? Her friend had yelled something about an "Eye of the Moon Plan" before the Uchiha killed him. What did it all mean?

Moving to Nagato's corpse, she gently removed him from the cursed chair, wrapping his body in paper. Even in her state of mourning, she noticed that his muscles and skin seemed healthier than they had been since he had first been incapacitated. She was startled out of her thoughts when a very familiar voice spoke from behind her.

"Konan."

Slowly, Konan turned. Standing at the other side of the room was an orange-haired man with six piercings down his nose, a man she knew all too well.

"Y... Yahiko?" She stuttered, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

The man shook his head sadly. "No. It's me, Konan. Nagato."

Konan registered the purple rings in the man's eye. Oh.

"I'm... I'm sorry my lord. he got away." She said stiffly, tightly controlling the sea of emotions churning about inside her. Nagato had been so remote, so cold these past few years, utterly consumed with his goal. To show emotions would do nothing but make things more uncomfortable than they already were.

Nagato-Yahiko began walking towards her. Konan looked down, waiting for her orders.

Only to stiffen, as the man wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Konan. " The man whispered, voice thick with apology and emotion. "I'm so sorry, for everything."

Nagato-Yahiko tightened his arms around her, continuing to whisper words of atonement in her ear. Konan slowly relaxed into the hug, sliding her arms around him in return.

The two stood there for several minutes, their bodies expressing feelings that words never could. Something had changed within Nagato, something deep. Konan buried her face in his shoulder, tears running down her cheek as she finally allowed the flood of emotions to pour out. Neither had hugged or been hugged like this since Yahiko's death, all those years ago.

Finally, the man released her, stepping backwards. He was smiling, yet another dramatic development from the usually frigid man.

"My soul is bound to this body now." Nagato said. "I'm sorry Konan, it was the only way..."

Konan put a finger over his lips, shushing him. "It's OK. I think it's what Yahiko would have wanted."

The man nodded, then sighed.

"I'm going to have to gather up the members of Akatsuki and inform them of some changes to our primary policy." Nagato said, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly upwards. "First of all though, I need to tell you some things."

Leading Konan over away from the gap in the wall, Nagato motioned to the stone steps. "You might want to sit. This could take a while."

xXx

**AN: It's just been one disaster after another for major antagonist Tobi, huh? As it is now, it probably seems like I'm loading the deck too heavily against the antagonists, which would make the story fairly uninteresting. Rest assured, I have a couple of twists in mind to even out the score.**

**To the reviewer who made the Sharingan analogy, yes he has and no it hasn't. That said, Nine-Tails chakra mode is insanely powerful and with it Naruto could probably handle most of Akatsuki by himself. It would be boring to have Naruto have all the big battles while all the other characters stand by the side and cheer, so his abilities are going to be altered somewhat. Don't worry, though, I have stuff planned.**

**For obvious reasons, Tobi didn't want to take on Nagato's paths. That would end badly.**

**After today, I'm going to update weekly on Fridays. University stuff, and all that.**

**Extremely Akatsuki-central chapter. Next chapter: Konoha!**


	5. Chapter Five: Petrification

**30/7/2012 - 10 Reviews, 11 Favorites, 14 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters. I (probably) "own" any original characters I come up with, but let's be honest here, nobody really wants those anyway.**

Chapter Five: Petrification

xXx

_(Just outside Konoha)_

The great magenta toad landed in an explosion of dirt, a couple of miles away from Konoha. Wobbling slightly, Naruto and Jiraya dismounted, carrying the still unconscious Zabuza and Haku with them. It was still dark, but light was just beginning to appear on the horizon.

Gamaken rubbed the back of his head. "I hope that my ungracefulness didn't disturb you."

Smiling, Jiraya dropped Zabuza into the dirt and walked up to the big toad, patting him reassuringly on the leg.

"You did just fine, Gamaken." The Sannin assured. "You can head back to Myoboki, now."

Nodding happily, the toad dismissed himself in a cloud of smoke. Immediately, Jiraya clutched his stomach and fell to his knees. Naruto did the same, after taking a moment to lower Haku to the ground.

"Oh sweet God." Jiraya gasped. "I'd forgotten why I didn't use toads for transportation more often!"

Naruto glared at him, the overwhelming motion sickness that he was feeling draining his glare of any real threat, "You mean... gak... aside from the massive environmental destruction? You probably crushed an area the size of Konoha!"

Jiraya only groaned in response, fully engaged in trying to keep his stomach's contents in their current location.

One and a half nauseated minutes later, and the two were ready to set off. Jiraya looked down at the two Mist shinobi.

"Geez, kid, if that didn't wake those two up, then there's no telling how long they're going to be out." The Sannin said.

Naruto nodded. "Could you summon another toad to carry them? A smaller one this time."

Jiraya did so, summoning a green, saddled toad the height of a large horse. Jiraya fished into his pockets and tossed the toad a dead snake, which it devoured greedily. The two heaved the unconscious bodies onto the saddle.

Naruto looked at Jiraya in mild disgust. "Do you just keep those things in your pockets?"

The Sannin smirked. "It annoyed Orochimaru to no end."

His expression turned serious. "We need to get a move on. Tsunade needs to hear your story."

Naruto and Jiraya took off, sprinting up the winding, forested road towards Konoha's front gate with the toad trailing behind them. The road ahead was deserted, but behind them they could see the distant shapes of trade carts traveling up the road towards the Leaf Village.

About two minutes after they started running, the trees parted to reveal the shadowy form of Konoha. It was still dark, and all they could make out of the village was a vague shape.

But even in the darkness, the two could sense that something was wrong.

There was no light coming from Konoha. No street lights, no torches, no fires, nothing. During the Watanagashi Festival, even this early in the morning, Konoha was always lit up like a Christmas tree.

Jiraya and Naruto looked to each other, and doubled their speed. Naruto almost tripped a couple of times due to not being entirely used to his short limbs yet, but was able to keep up.

And then the first rays of light hit Konoha's walls, and the two gasped.

Konoha's walls were completely black. Not damaged, not charred, but a shiny, jet-black that made it look as if the village's walls were crafted of pure obsidian.

Jiraya lifted his hands into the anti-genjutsu seal. Naruto took a more direct route, and drove a kunai into his hand.

The image did not waver.

The two took off again. As they got closer, Jiraya was struck by the realization that they were close enough to Konoha that they should be able to hear sounds of life within the village. Instead, there was silence, broken only by their own breathing and footfalls. Even the birds and insects were silent. It was as if nature was holding its breath.

And then the two turned round a corner, and were confronted with a terrible sight.

Konoha's great gate stood open before them, flanked on either side by trees. Inside, they could see several of the village's buildings, none of which appeared damaged. Lying on the ground near the gate in fetal position was a man, non-moving.

And everything, from the buildings to the trees to the man on the ground, appeared to be made of that same inky-black substance. Even the ground itself appeared to be made of the stuff, light-brown stone metamorphosing into ebony several meters in front of them. The black substance had a very clear border, with one tree located on the circumference bisected down the middle between brown and black.

As Naruto tried to dash forward, Jiraya grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. The Sannin pointed in through the gate, to where shapes could be seen sprawled across the jet-black street. Naruto's eyes widened in horror as he realized that the forms were people, frozen in positions of agony.

"We don't know if whatever caused this is still active. Don't move until I say so." Jiraya commanded, a hint of a tremble in his otherwise composed voice.

The Sannin tossed a kunai at the black ground. The knife flew through the air and bounced off the black substance with a ping, skidding across the ground. There were no signs of anything out of the ordinary.

The Toad Sage moved into a senjutsu stance, attempting to sense natural energy. A second later he lowered his hands, gasping.

"There's nothing." Jiraya choked. "I can't detect... there's no life! Of any kind! Anywhere!"

A sudden cognizance gripped Jiraya. Ignoring his earlier words, the Sannin flew forward with reckless abandon, leaving a stunned Naruto in his wake.

Jiraya's foot landed on the black substance with a clatter, having no impact on the man. The Sannin didn't pay it a second thought, dashing headlong through the gates of Konoha. Emerging in the wide square that marked the entrance to the city, the man could see that everything in sight was made of the same black stone. Around the square, stone stalls filled with stone goods and foodstuffs lay unattended, their vendors petrified in positions of agony. The metal lights and paper which would usually have lit the square were dark, transformed into stone just like everything else. A petrified dog, obviously in pain, lay chained to fence.

Leaving the lifeless square behind him, Jiraya took off up one of Konoha's streets. All around him shinobi and civilians alike lay frozen in their death throes, feverishly clutching their heads or chests. Ahead of him, the Hokage Residence stretched up to the sky like a black, flabby claw. Behind it, the Hokage Monument stared down at the dead village, the brown stone now the same colour as the rest of the village.

Jiraya took to the rooftops, leaping from building to building. On several occasions he spotted stone ANBU, many with their hands held clasped in final, desperate seals. The further he went, the more the hope in his chest dwindled. The entire village had become stone. He was no stranger to death, but this? Konoha had a population of _hundreds of thousands of people_. All those families, those men, women and children. Gone.

The Sannin arrived at the Hokage Residence. Tearing through the open front entrance, sweat dripping off his face, Jiraya ran through the dark stone corridors. A number of the crumpled forms he saw were acquaintances, but the man did not stop. All the while Jiraya prayed that his worst fears would not be realized, a naive optimism being the only thing preventing him collapsing.

Jiraya reached the Hokage's office, and with a strength that he didn't know he had broke the stone door off its hinges.

And there she was.

Standing defiantly at the window, her face gritted in pain, was the jet-black form of the Fifth Hokage.

Something broke within Jiraya.

It was clear that Tsunade had gone down fighting. Her hands were clasped in one final seal, her legs steady despite the unbearable pain she must have gone through.

Jiraya stepped forward, raising a trembling hand to stroke her stone face. It felt cold to the touch.

"Hime." He said gently. She looked so beautiful. "Hime, wake up! This isn't funny anymore! Hime!"

Jiraya stepped back, hands lifting into a seal. "Kai. Kai. Kai! Kai! Kai!"

He wouldn't believe it. He couldn't believe it.

"Kai! Kai!"

The hellish vision in front of his did not waver.

"Kai Kai Kai Kai Kai!"

Nothing happened.

Jiraya fell to his knees. She couldn't... It wasn't...

Tsunade, the light of his life. Tsunade, the only woman he had ever truly loved. She couldn't be dead. Naruto had said that she'd survived for another three years, at least!

Wait.

Naruto. Naruto had reversed time!

Time had been reversed once. _It could be reversed again!_

xXx

Naruto walked aimlessly through the inky-black stone streets of the Konoha. The boy's eyes were dazed and vacant. Around him, he could see the bustle of the crowds, smell the heavenly scent of Ichiraku ramen, hear Sakura's melodious laugh.

Naruto waved to a phantom chuunin, who nodded respectfully in return. Naruto smiled. It was good to be back in his home village. The people were so nice to him now.

Ahead, Naruto noticed a weaponry shop offering half-price on shuriken. Absently, the Uzumaki reached down and patted his weapon pouch. He needed to restock soon. After all, he would need to be at his best if he was going to bring Sasuke back.

A small, black-haired boy appeared from around the corner and dashed towards him, almost colliding with a dozen people during the process. Naruto remembered when he'd been that careless.

The boy stopped in front of him and somehow managed to grab his shoulders.

"Naruto!" It yelled.

Naruto gently tried to brush the boy's arm off his shoulder, only to discover that the kid's grasp was stronger then expected.

"What's up, kid? Do you want some tips from Konoha's Number One ninja?" He said, expecting the kid to nod happily.

He was extremely surprised when the boy began violently shaking him. "Naruto, wake up!"

Mildly irritated, Naruto was preparing to shake the boy off when the world around him started dissolving. The crowds around him started fading, and the sounds began to grow fainter.

The boy slapped him across the face. "Naruto!"

The shock-induced mirage vanished. Naruto found himself standing in a black stone street, his shoulders gripped by Jiraya. The Sannin himself looked almost deranged, his breathing fervent and his face contorted into a demented snarl.

"Wha... Ero-Sennin?" Naruto started, then fully registered where he was. Where there had been crowds, there were instead piles of stone corpses, contorted into positions of agony.

"Oh... Oh God! What is this?" Naruto whispered, stomach heaving with nausea. Jiraya's hands tightened around his arms, nails digging into his flesh.

"Time has been reversed once, right? We can do it again! It's not too late, she's not dead, she doesn't have to be dead!" The man raved. shaking Naruto even harder than before. "Naruto, check Kyuubi now!"

For the first time ever, Naruto was frightened of his sensei. The man's eyes were wild, and he appeared deeply unhinged.

Naruto tried to remove the man's hands from his arms. "Ero-Sennin, I don't understand!"

The Sannin snarled and viciously drove his fist into Naruto's gut. "The Kyuubi! **Now!**"

Coughing, Naruto stumbled back from the unbalanced Jiraya, and slowly lifted his hands to show his cooperation. Lowering himself onto the ice-cold ground, Naruto moved into the meditation position and closed his eyes.

xXx

_(Naruto's Mindscape)_

The Uzumaki materialized in the sewer that contained the Kyuubi. Or used to, anyway. For it was immediately evident to Naruto that Kurama was no longer there.

The sewer looked more like an absurdist painting, Formerly planar walls twisted into themselves, pipes threaded randomly across the various surfaces as if placed by a demented child and parts of the roof had disappeared altogether, revealing an empty, black void.

At the other side of the sewer, the great cage that housed Kurama lay open and completely empty. The fox was gone.

Naruto walked over to the cage, half-expecting the Kyuubi to appear and try and devour him. Instead, there was nothing. No trace of the gigantic chakra fox, just the soft splashing of his feet in the water.

"Kurama!" He yelled feebly, already half-knowing that there would be no response. Silence met his cry. Apparently, the fox hadn't made the journey.

Lowering his head in defeat, Naruto departed.

xXx

_(Konoha)_

Naruto looked up at the expectant Jiraya. "There's nothing. The Kyuubi is gone."

Growling dementedly, the Sannin grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his jacket, lifting him up.

"What do you mean, gone!?" He yelled, teeth bared in a terrifying grimace.

Naruto didn't meet his gaze. "The Kyuubi is no longer bound within me. I'm no longer a jinchuriki." He muttered slowly.

Jiraya loosened his grip. "But it can't be gone! Without it, I can't..." He dropped Naruto, who fell bonelessly to the ground. His voice grew softer. "She won't..." He let himself tumble backwards, falling to the stone ground. The violence dispersed from the Sannin's frame, replaced by a forlorn hopelessness.

Naruto crawled over to him and wrapped his arms around Jiraya's arm, "I'm sorry, Ero-Sennin."

The man looked up at him with desolate eyes.

"She's gone, Naruto." Jiraya whispered. "Tsunade is gone."

Naruto said nothing, simply embracing him tighter.

For the first time in over two decades, Jiraya found himself crying. Naruto would have joined him but the last week had drained him of any tears he might of had, so he just sat with the man in the gutter, staring numbly up at the morning sky.

xXx

_(The Land of Stones)_

"All members of Akatsuki are to travel to Amegakure immediately."

Deidara glared at the shadowy hologram in front of him. "Not until you explain why we're alive again, un!"

Pain's projection stared back impassively. "All will be explained once you arrive. Dismissed."

The Akatsuki leader's hologram vanished. Deidara turned to the Hiruko-wearing Sasori, face alight with irritation.

"What was that? Who the hell does he think he is?" The explosives user complained.

"Our leader." Sasori replied absently, prompting Deidara to begin a rant about Pain's arrogance. Sasori ignored him, deep in thought.

A couple of hours ago, the two had suddenly found themselves assaulted by strange red pillars of light. Thankfully, they were in the middle of a wide, rocky wasteland at the time, because the indescribable agony the energy had put them through had left even Sasori helpless. When the puppet master had regained consciousness, he was met with the unpleasant surprise of being in his old puppet body again, complete with Hiruko.

Deidara had immediately taken the opportunity to blow up a rock formation, and the two had been heading towards civilization when Pain's message had arrived.

It would be the easiest thing in the world for Sasori to simply head back to Amegakure and fall back into his old Akatsuki role. But something was stopping him. An avid reader of chakra theory, Sasori had correctly deduced that the most likely explanation for his current situation was Sukune's time travel theorem. After all, his destroyed puppets existed once more, Deidara was fully alive and Pain was apparently leading Akatsuki again, rather that Tobi.

Sasori found himself unable, however, to get the conversations he had had with Chiyo out of his head.

During the period when he had been resurrected through the Edo Tensai, Sasori had discovered that he _really_ didn't appreciate being controlled by another. True, Tobi had allowed him to act mostly according to his own desires, but there had always been a sense of powerlessness, as if he himself were but a puppet dancing on strings.

Now he had returned to his puppet body and once more had full control over his actions. The lack of feeling in his wooden body felt somewhat unpleasant, but it time he would learn to cope again.

But a return to Akatsuki? Sasori had his doubts about the organization's true goals. And Sasori was not one who appreciated being deceived.

No. A return to Akatsuki would place him under Pain and Tobi's control once more. Akatsuki's leaders had manipulated him for two lifetimes already. Sasori had no intention of dancing on strings any longer.

Unfortunately, for all his grumbling, Deidara was still loyal to the organization. Ah, well, sacrifices had to be made.

xXx

"I mean, he constantly orders us around! And I've never seen him go on any missions!" Deidara complained as he walked through the empty canyon, Sasori by his side. The puppet master was apparently in a pensive mood, for he hadn't replied once.

Suddenly, Sasori stopped in his tracks. Deidara immediately followed suit, instantly alert to the possibility of danger.

"Sasori?" He queried.

To Deidara's bewilderment, the puppeteer slowly lifted one of Hiruko's hands and placed it on Deidara's left forearm.

_'Shink!'_

Stunned, Deidara looked down, to where a single needle was now embedded in his flesh. He looked up at the emotionless face of Hiruko.

"Within two minutes, your ability to use chakra will be gone. Within three days, you will be dead." Sasori said softly. " If you survive this, tell Pain and Tobi that I'm finished with Akatsuki."

The puppeteer leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding Deidara's kunai. Shooting the explosive user one last look, the traitor took off at great speed up the other side of the canyon, quickly vanishing from sight.

Deidara swore. Sasori was never one to lie about his poisons. He had only seconds to act before it spread into the rest of his body.

Grabbing a handful of explosive clay from his pouch, Deidara quickly smeared a thin line around his left arm. Jamming the hilt of a kunai between his teeth, the nuke-nin made the explosion seal.

"Katsu!"

The clay around Deidara's arm detonated with an explosion of blood and gore. His teeth biting hard into the kunai's handle, Deidara screamed as his left arm went flying away from his body.

One of the very, very few advantages of the situation was that the wound was cauterized by the explosion. Deidara slumped against the rock wall. This wasn't the first time that he had lost arms, not by a long shot, but unless he was able to get Sasori's poison out of his left arm he wouldn't be able to reattach it.

What had triggered the puppeteer's betrayal? Sasori had never shown any sort of discontent with the organization's goals, even after both of them had died (Deidara still wasn't sure what was going on)! He might have expected something like this from Kisame or that psycho Hidan, but not Sasori!

The explosive-user was in no shape to chase after the puppeteer. Finding that the extreme pain was leaving him feeling light-headed, Deidara decided that he would recuperate for a few hours before continuing on to Ame and reporting to Pain. Creating three clay clones, Deidara directed them to keep watch around him as an extra precaution. If the explosion didn't alert him, he wasn't sure what would. Satisfied, Deidara set about bandaging his wound and retrieving his arm

xXx

Having drifted into a light, slightly-delirious sleep, Deidara was rudely awakened by his fifth-most-hated person in the world, behind Itachi, Sasuke, Sasori (recent addition) and a now deceased Iwa shinobi who had constantly made perverse, off-colour jokes about his hand-mouths.

Standing several meters in front of him, blocked by his clones, was Tobi.

"Oh, joy." Deidara groaned. "Just when I thought today couldn't get any worse."

The masked man tilted his head. "You remember me?" He asked calmly.

"Of course I remember you!" Deidara retorted irritably. "Believe me, if I could erase my memories of our time together I would, un."

Tobi raised his hands placatingly. "Rest assured, I no longer have a need of my childish facade. Tobi is dead, I am Madara Uchiha."

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "No, you're not. I met Madara in the Land of Lightning, when we were fighting those Kage. You were there too, remember."

The masked man seemed to falter slightly. "Is... Is that so?" He stumbled.

Deidara pinched the bridge of his nose with his remaining hand. "Look. I don't care about what your true identity is. As long as I don't have to deal with your retarded alter ego, I'm happy. Although, you seemed much more collected when you wore those purple clothes."

Tobi coughed. "It's been... a bad day."

Deidara laughed incredulously. "You've had a bad day? My partner just tried to kill me and my damn arm got blown off!" Deidara said bitterly. "Sasori says he's finished with Akatsuki, by the way."

Tobi froze. "What? When did this happen!?"

The explosives user rubbed his head. "A couple of hours ago, right after Pain ordered us all back to Amegakure."

"... What?"

xXx

**Done! I really should pick a tone for this story and stick to it. Hmm.**

**And Sasori has decided to forge his own path. Don't forget though, the guy is a mass-murdering headcase who kills people and turns their corpses into marionettes, so he's not going to go help old ladies across the street while hi-fiving his best friend Naruto anytime soon. Or ever. Seriously, much as I love the guy, he's a few steps away from psychopath.**

**Looks like Tobi is going to need some new members.**

**Now, obviously Konoha's destruction is going to greatly impact the central characters, but its going to do more than that. Imagine that you're a smaller state in the Naruto world. Imagine if for decades, a nation much larger than yours has had you over a barrel, and has been exploiting it for all it's worth. You've been constantly bullied, forced to make humiliating concessions and treaties, lost huge amounts of revenue. Their shinobi can and have killed yours and gotten away with it, because really, who's going to stand up to a country with over twenty-thousand active ninja?**

**Now imagine if virtually their entire military is wiped out in one shot. Their troops, formerly in the tens of thousands, are now outnumbered by yours. The pitiful remains of their forces are being led by a reviled war criminal who has single-handedly killed dozens, if not hundreds of foreign shinobi. And all that prime land is ripe for the taking. Feeling vindictive yet?**

**Akatsuki isn't the only shark in the water. It might not even be the biggest.**


	6. Chapter Six: Illusion

**3/8/2012 - 13 Reviews, 16 Favorites, 32 Followers**

**Disclaimer: No. No I do not own Naruto. Let down, isn't it?**

**AN: There are going to be changes...**

Chapter Six: Illusion

xXx

_(Konoha)_

A seasoned merchant of several decades, Matsuro was used to dealing with ninja and their quirks. After all, shinobi bought products just like any other person,.

This, though, this was a little too far.

Konoha's shinobi had apparently decided that it would be a fun idea to cast one of their illusions over their city's front gate. The entire village now appeared inky-black and filled with corpses. Delightful.

The merchant carts were backed-up just outside the black zone, with the traders unsure whether it was a good idea to continue. A portly, well-dressed man strode out of his wagon.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded loudly, to no one in particular. "There could be children here, this is hardly appropriate!"

The other traders let out a cry of agreement. Matsuro couldn't help but feel slightly vindictive himself. He didn't mind getting up at four in the morning in order to make the sunrise delivery, but if Konoha was going to be pulling stunts like this then he'd be better off trading with Iwa or Kumo instead. Illusion or not, cadavers were not a pleasant sight. It was only made worse by the expressions of pain and torment on their faces.

Come to think of it, the "body" near the front gate looked a lot like one of the gate guards he was acquainted with.

Matsuro climbed off his cart and began striding towards the body, ignoring the nervous protests of his fellow traders. As Matsuro walked onto the black ground, the trader frowned. His boot was making an odd sound as it met the ground, as if he was walking on polished marble rather than hardened clay. Deciding to ignore it for now, he continued on.

Kotetsu. That was his name. Matsuro reached the "body". Despite its morbidness, he couldn't help but marvel at the quality of the illusion. The suffering on the thing's face was incredibly realistic, right down to the haunting and tormented light in its eyes. Matsuro could see thick lacerations on "Kotetsu's" arms, as if he had been tearing at his flesh with his nails.

Slowly, he reached out a hand towards it. After all, it was just an illusion. He should be able to pass right through it. His fingers stretched closer, almost within touching distance...

"The Gallant Toad Sage Jiraiya has arrived. Bow before my presence!"

Matsuro snapped his hand back. In front of him, leaning on Konoha's titanic gates as if he didn't have a care in the world, was the great Sannin Jiraiya. The man looked tired, with large black bags under his eyes, but his face was lit up with a huge, jovial grin.

The legendary ninja winked at him, "Do me a favor and don't touch that. Konoha is testing its genjutsu defenses, and messing around with the illusions like that could screw the whole thing up."

Matsuro nodded and stepped back.

The portly man who had spoken before stepped out of the crowd. "And why, pray tell, has Konoha decided to do their testing here? I can respect the need for village security, most noble Sannin, but why here? Why now?"

Jiraiya laughed lightly. "Well, you may not have heard yet, but..."

A voice interrupted him. "Konoha is in a state of emergency! We have reason to believe that the Kishimo chakra virus may have been introduced to the village! As it is highly dangerous and infectious, we will have to insist that you leave. The village is now in a state of quarantine!"

A blonde Konoha shinobi appeared behind Jiraiya, who appeared momentarily taken aback. The teenager looked deeply unwell, with red, bloodshot eyes and pale skin. Many of the traders shrank back. The Kishimo chakra virus was infamous throughout the Elemental Nations in liu of the fact that it could destroy someone's ability to use chakra. _Permanently._ It had cropped up a few years ago in a small village, and wiped out their shinobi population before it had been controlled. In a big village like Konoha, the damage could be catastrophic.

Matsuro started backing away from the blonde ninja.

Another merchant spoke up. "Why should we worry about it? We're not ninja, we don't use chakra."

"And you think the virus couldn't affect you too? You might not use chakra, but how do you think you'd manage if it took away, say, your ability to breathe?" Jiraiya retorted. "It's an unknown pathogen. For your own protection, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave. Genin, I'm going to have to ask you to move to quarantine immediately."

The blonde genin saluted and did so, heading back through Konoha's gates and out of sight.

Matsuro spoke up. "What about our goods? Even if Konoha is in a state of emergency, without basics like food you'll starve to death." The merchants around him voiced their agreement.

Jiraiya seemed to think for a moment. "... Fine. Anyone selling food, medicines, toiletries, tents, ninja or survival gear, move your carts to the left of the road. Everyone else, I'm sorry, but you'll have to take your goods elsewhere."

Grumbling, the traders obeyed Jiraiya's words. The carts containing essentials moved to the side, while those that held more luxury goods like jewelry started heading back down the road. A few merchants tried to protest, but were quickly silenced with a firm glare from Jiraiya. The Sannin moved to the remaining carts and unsealed a huge container of money from his coat, ignoring the angry scowls that a number of the rejected traders were shooting him.

None but Matsuro noticed the happy facade crumble into a haunted look of pain and despair when the Sannin thought no one was looking. Matsuro shrugged. A man's business was his own, he had no right to intrude.

xXx

_(Yuuyake Plains - Land of Hot Water)_

"So let me get this straight. My third day on this job, and you cocksuckers are already having some sort of power struggle?"

Tobi nodded. "That is correct."

Hidan grinned. "I think I'm going to like this organisation!"

Tobi stepped forward, offering a hand to the zealot, who had just finished one of his blood rituals. Levering himself out of the bloody circle and yanking the stake out of his chest, Hidan took the masked man's hand, and attempted to drive the weapon through Tobi's chest. Tobi stepped backwards and effortlessly dodged it, lifting an arm to stop Deidara attacking the Jashinist.

"Now what made you do that, Hidan?" Tobi asked.

Hidan laughed. "If you couldn't even avoid that, there's no fucking way that I'd want to work for you. Keep your hands to yourself, you piece of crap!"

Deidara stepped forward. "Why are we even bothering with this guy? All he cares about is killing people."

The explosives user gestured around at the ruined house the trio were standing in. Several of the walls had large, scythe-sized holes in them. When Tobi and Deidara had materialized at Hidan's location, they had found the slaughtered bodies of a peasant family lying butchered on the floor, with Hidan lying happily in a circle fashioned from their blood.

"What, and you don't?" Tobi retorted.

"It's art! There's a difference!" Deidara protested, slightly miffed.

And there was. He wasn't a nice person by any stretch of the imagination, but when Deidara killed it was usually quick and clean, lives snuffed out in the blink of an eye. Hidan, however, preferred the slow route, trying to make his victims suffer as much as possible. Even Deidara, a hardened killer, was slightly put off by the sort of things Hidan would do to his victims.

Tobi, though, Tobi didn't seem ruffled in the least. The masked man's real personality really was the polar opposite of his happy facade.

"I want you to work directly for me." Tobi said, addressing the zealot.

Hidan raised an eyebrow. "And why would I want to do that, fucker? I've already agreed to work for Pain. Jashin doesn't like it if we break our word without good reason."

"How about this? Am I right in believing that the more powerful the sacrifice, the more it pleases Jashin?" Tobi inquired.

Hidan nodded, "That's right. What about it?"

"Well then, how would you like to sacrifice a god?" Tobi asked silkily.

Hidan tilted his head in confusion, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Pain considers himself to be a god in human form." Tobi said." He believes that he is equal to Jashin. You've heard him call himself a god before, haven't you Deidara?"

The blonde man nodded, catching on "I have, yeah."

Hidan's face darkened, "That little shit thinks that he's equal to Jashin?"

Tobi nodded, "If anything, he considers himself superior."

Hidan growled and grabbed his scythe, striding purposefully towards the ruined building's front door.

Deidara laughed. "What, you're going to go and sacrifice him right now?"

Hidan span around, stopping his scythe inches from the blonde man's torso. "Don't make me kill you first, little girl." Hidan snarled. Deidara's hand went to his clay pouch.

"Deidara has a point, Hidan." Tobi said softly. "Pain wasn't the leader of Akatsuki for nothing. Trying to kill him by yourself in the village he rules would be suicide, even for you. Work with me and after we're done, you can have him."

Luckily for Deidara, Hidan wasn't totally unintelligent. Slowly, Hidan lowered the scythe.

"You've got yourself a deal, fucker." the zealot leered carnivorously. "I'm going to make that blaspheming bastard scream long and hard."

xXx

_(Konoha)_

Asuma and his team emerged from the trees at Konoha's front gate to be confronted with a very odd sight.

Chouji gaped. "What the hell?"

Konoha's main square was alive with activity. All around, people wearing white facemasks and clothes were erecting medical tents. Scores of medical-nin were conducting medical techniques on coughing civilians and ninjas, green energy emerging from the hands of the white full-body suits they were wearing. Near the gate itself, a pair of shinobi were apparently practicing genjutsu, turning parts of Konoha's walls an odd jet-black colour.

To the left of the gate, a very familiar blonde shinobi was talking to what appeared to be a middle aged merchant. Naruto looked unnaturally serious and slightly ill. By the looks of it, the merchant did not like what he was saying.

As the trader turned to leave, Ino ran over towards him.

"Naruto! Finally, some sanity!" She cried.

The blonde turned towards her, shock spreading across his features. "...Ino? What..."

"We were heading back to Konoha, and then this weird red light came down from the sky and hit Shikamaru and Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru slammed headfirst into a tree, so we had to take him to an inn to recover and we missed the Watanagashi festival and now they keep insisting that they've travelled in time! Anyway, how have you been? I haven't seen you in ages!" Ino prattled happily.

As Ino spoke, Asuma frowned. His danger sense was screaming at him that something was wrong. Slowly, he raised his hands into the genjutsu-dispelling seal.

A hand landed on his shoulder. "I wouldn't do that. Not yet, anyway."

Asuma and his three students span around to see the grim-looking figure of Jiraiya standing behind them. Ino went quiet immediately.

The Sannin began speaking, voice solemn as the grave. "Listen very carefully. I'm going to tell you this now, while you're still rational. What you see in front of you is a genjutsu, created by my toad summons."

Chouji, Shikamaru and Ino began moving to dispel. Jiraiya raised a hand, stopping them.

"Don't. Wait until I'm finished. What you get in there, you're going to see something terrible. It's going to be hard, but don't scream or make any loud noises that could be heard out here. No, we don't know what caused it. No, we don't know if it's reversible. We are going to wait five days to see if anyone else is going to show up, and then we are going to make a decision on what our next move is. Konoha has a lot of enemies, and if they learn about this before we're prepared it could mean the death of us all." Jiraiya finished, his voice carrying the unmistakable air of command.

Chouji spoke up. "What are we going to see in there?"

Jiraiya looked to the pudgy boy. Asuma gasped. That brilliant spark of youth that had always been present on the few occasions when he had seen the Sannin was gone, replaced by a terrible sense of age and regret. The change was as marked as it was terrible. The man looked as if he was feeling every one of his fifty-plus years.

After staring for a long moment, the Sannin turned away from him, "Wait until you get inside the main square until you dispel. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Slightly confused but not wanting to disobey the Sannin's orders, Team Ten moved into the square, out of sight of the front gate. Asuma couldn't help but notice Naruto stare sorrowfully at them as they passed, shaking his head sadly. Jiraiya faced the other direction, looking down the road. Once Asuma saw whatever the genjutsu was concealing, he'd report the strange situation that he and Shikamaru found themselves in to the Sannin. If they really had travelled in time, it would provide an unprecedented advantage over Konoha's enemies.

Asuma lifted his hands into the seal and began altering the flow of his chakra. The tents and medical ninja around him began to melt away.

The first thing he noticed was the black colour that seemed to permeate the whole square.

Next came the forms of about twenty people. From what he could see, most appeared to be shinobi and all appeared to be mourning something. Some were sobbing, others were lying curled up on the ground, vacantly rocking from side to side.

Third, he noticed the forms of two small, brown-cloaked toads in the center of the square. They seemed to be singing something.

And then Asuma saw the bodies, and all thoughts of Akatsuki flew from his mind.

xXx

_(Amegakure)_

Through the village of Amegakure, through twisted streets and titanic skyscrapers, the word spread. People stopped what they were doing, mothers foisted children onto elderly relatives and crowds clustered along the streets.

The cause of this was simple. For the first time in years, God walked the earth.

Konan at his side, the orange-haired Nagato strode down Amegakure's central street. While he was not responding to the excited cries and cheers that were coming from all around him, he was smiling slightly, which considering his usual disposition was the equivalent of him chatting to crowd members while handing out autographs.

Reaching Amegakure's central business district, the orange-haired man walked up onto the central stage reserved for important announcements. Joining him, Konan motioned for silence. The adoring cries of "Lord Pain!" and "Lady Angel!" quickly subsided.

A vast sea of faces stared up at Nagato, ranging from simple tradesmen to hardened Ame shinobi.

Nagato took a deep breath. "Citizens of Amegakure. I come to you with a message."

He paused for a moment. The crowd waited with baited breath.

"My people..." Nagato paused once again. "I have wronged you. I allowed myself to become obsessed with lofty and unobtainable ideas and in doing so I lost touch with the intrinsic value of human life. I lost touch with Amegakure, with you."

Amegakure's citizens stared up at Nagato in confusion, many slack-jawed. Their god was _apologizing_ to them? Why?

"People of Amegakure, you should not think of me as a God." Nagato said. A number of the citizens and shinobi in the audience balked. Had anyone else said those words, their head would have been stuck on a spear!

Nagato continued, voice growing passionate. "Instead, think of me as your protector! A mortal protector, who would give him life in defense of our village. A man, no more and no less significant than any man, woman or child within this village!"

With those words, the Rinnegan user raised his arms to the heavens. Above, the dark, weeping clouds began to part.

"Do not call me by the name Pain any longer! My true name is Nagato! The era of gods has ended! The era of man is began!"

The clouds above Ame parted, revealing a bright, clear blue sky. Below, the crowd stood in silence.

Suddenly, a woman spoke up. "Kami has taken human form!"

A man joined her. "All hail Lord Nagato!"

Throughout the crowd, other voices joined them, shouting words of praise and veneration. Nagato kept himself from raising an eyebrow. That hadn't quite been the effect he was looking for.

Nevertheless, it was a start. Sometime during his journey, he had forgotten the reason that he was seeking peace in the first place. He was doing it so that people like the ones in front of him could live their lives free of strife and conflict. He'd been collecting jinchuriki in order to create a weapon, but Nagato doubted now that a true peace could ever spring from fear and death. There would always be madmen like Tobi willing to use the weapon to further their own ends.

In hindsight, his ultimate objective had been motivated less by peace and more through a petty desire to see the rest of the world suffer pain as he did. It wasn't a pleasant realization. He'd called himself a god, but he'd been blinded by the all-too-human emotions of grief and rage. He had behaved... like a child, taking out his fury on Yahiko's death on thousands, murdering anyone even remotely connected with Hanzo. It had only become worse from there. Yahiko would have been disgusted.

Now was the time to put things right. Nagato didn't know how or why time had been reversed, but he intended to take full advantage of it. To her credit, Konan had accepted his story almost immediately, stopping only momentarily to make sure he wasn't under a genjutsu of some kind.

First thing first, he had to inform his Akatsuki subordinates that the collection of jinchuriki was to be terminated immediately. He would offer them employment within Ame's military forces. Despite their generally morally-bankrupt natures, they were all powerful shinobi and a great potential asset. Perhaps he was being naive in thinking that he could achieve any sort of rehabilitation with the missing-nin, but his encounter with Naruto had reignited an idealism he had long locked away within himself. If they refused, he would allow them to leave peacefully out of gratitude for their years of service. If they showed any hint of animosity or loyalty to Tobi, he would dispatch them swiftly and without mercy.

Hidan was the exception. The man was an uncontrollable psychopath and the world would be a better place without him.

Once that was done, he'd have to get in contact with his old mentor and his blonde student. It was time he moved past Yahiko's death.

As he stared out at the cheering crowds of Amegakure, Konan by his side, Nagato smiled. Misguided or not, these were his people. They trusted him with their lives, and for that he would die for them.

xXx

**No, I'm not going to kill everyone from Konoha. That would be a little extreme. Just... most people.**

**Any Kotetsu fans, if you are out there, I'm sorry. But in the end, what is mildly convenient for me comes first.**

**Nagato's personality has taken something of a reversal, but I think it's justified. Hell, he starts making jokes in canon. Also, Nagato and Itachi never had their future canon meeting with Naruto and Bee, should any of you be wondering.**

**Oh, by the way, this story will not contain any 'Oh that meddling Konoha Council!' or 'Danzo = more evil that Satan' scenes. Sorry.**

**The chakra disease is actually (sort-of) canon. It's from Shippuden episode 183, where Konoha apparently has laser-sighted sniper blowpipes and massive village defences that are mysteriously absent those times when Konoha is actually invaded. Oh you crazy filler! I made up the name, though.**

**Also, The Cost of Living by livezinshadowz is awesome. Go read it. But review first.**


	7. Chapter Seven: Survival

******25/8/2012 - 16 Reviews, 24 Favorites, 34 Followers**

**Disclaimer: There is no Naruto. There is only Zuul! Which I don't own, either._  
_**

**AN: Sorry I couldn't update last week. I had to write, organise, storyboard, direct, act in and edit a short film. Fun times.  
**

Chapter Seven: Survival

_(Konoha)_

As two days passed, Leaf shinobi who had been absent from the village during the festival drifted back into Konoha. Most had been on missions, some had been visiting family and a few had not been present for other reasons entirely. They were joined by around two-hundred Konoha civilians.

Each acted differently when confronted with revelation of Konoha's demise. Some screamed, some cried quietly and others just stood there and stared blankly at the petrified shell that their village had become. One had to be restrained as they tried to run, shrieking madly, into Konoha's forests. And throughout it all, Jiraya, Naruto and the toads worked tirelessly to keep up the illusion of strength to foreign eyes.

It was now midday, and Konoha's remaining shinobi were gathered in meeting around Jiraya, save for Raido Namiashi and Genma Shiranui, who remained on guard at the front gate.

Anko Mitarashi looked around at the pitiful remains of Konoha's forces.

Naruto, Chouji, Ino, Tobio, Lee, Tenten, Manabu and Jimei, eight genin.

Tonbo and Shikamaru, two chuunin.

Jiraya, Asuma, Ko, Riichi and Tekuno, five jonin

Herself, Raido and Genma, three special jonin

Hibari and Tomaru, two academy students

And, finally, Tenzo, the lone ANBU.

There had been one other, a short, brown-haired man, but he had driven a kunai into his own throat. None of the other survivors had known his name, or even recognized him.

All of the shinobi were unnaturally quiet, most had red-rimmed eyes that indicated that they had been crying. At one side, the genin Rock Lee was sobbing about Might Gai into the shoulder of his obviously grief-stricken teammate Tenten. Ino Yamanaka had her arms around a sobbing Chouji Akamachi, while Shikamaru Nara was conversing quietly with the Kyuubi jinchuriki. Jimei and Hibari were still in a state of shock, while Manabu was comforting a mourning Tomaru.

The older shinobi were generally holding up better, if only externally. Asuma Sarutobi and Ko Hyuuga's faces could have been carved out of stone, while Richi and Tekuno were standing stiffly to attention, unable to hide their still slightly shaking hands. Tonbu's bandages were wet with tears. Tenzo's face was hidden by his mask.

When she had turned up yesterday, Anko had been surprised to find that she still had tears left. She hadn't been out of town on a mission, she just couldn't stand being in Konoha during the Watanagashi festival. After all, it marked the anniversary of the day Orochimaru had given her the cursed seal. Anko grimaced. If it hadn't been for her accursed teacher then she would have died with the rest of the village, rather than getting smashed at a civilian bar in a town a few hours away. It was possibly the first good thing her sensei had ever done for her.

Doubtless, more Konoha shinobi were spread around the world, on missions, undercover or even heading back to Konoha at this very moment. For now, however, the ninja present were all they had to work with.

An exhausted looking Jiraya was addressing the rest of the ninja, "...We won't be able to keep up this illusion forever. Fairly soon, the other villages are going to figure out that most of Konoha's military are gone. When they do, we need to be out of here."

"Why?" Tomaru piped up. "We have allies, don't we?"

The Sannin shook his head sadly, "When their leaders learn what's happened, those treaties probably won't be worth the scrolls they're written on, kid. We're usually less aggressive in our foreign policy than the rest of the big five, but Konoha didn't make it to the top of the shinobi world without making enemies. We've wielded a lot of clout over the years, and the way we've used it hasn't always been entirely honorable. We've had nations like Taki and Suna over a barrel for years, and we've exploited it. Suna didn't invade us just because they'd been manipulated by Orochimaru, they were feeling emnity towards us long before that. As we are now, Iwa, Kumo, hell, even one of the minor villages might take a shot at us."

Jiraya gestured over his shoulder to where the remaining Konoha civilians had set up a camp, "Why do you think that over half of the civilians have left? They can see the way the wind's blowing, and they know that we're not strong enough to defend them against a full-fledged attack."

"What about the Fire Daimyo's troops?" The 41 year-old Manabu asked.

"The daimyo is a paper tiger." Jiraya responded. "His line like to boast that they could destroy Konoha if they wanted, but aside from a few groups like the Twelve Ninja Guardians none of his men use chakra. An average chuunin with a Doton technique or two can handle a dozen men easily. Even one of the smaller villages could probably wipe out his forces without much trouble. We won't be receiving any meaningful help from the Daimyo anytime soon."

Manabu nodded in understanding.

"Do we know what caused this yet?" Ko, a recent arrival, inquired.

Once again, Jiraya shook his head grimly, "No. We don't. Shinobi techniques that induce petrification do exist, but not at something like this level. We suspect that a group of highly powerful nuke-nin by the name of Akatsuki could be responsible, though. They can be identified by their cloaks, which are black with red clouds on them. If you encounter one of them, flee on sight."

"I need three of you to remain here on guard. The rest of you, head out in groups of four and see if you can find any survivors, or anything that could be of use to us. At least one jonin or special jonin to a group, and _do not get seperated_. Move out."

The Konoha shinobi congregated into groups of four, with Asuma electing to remain behind to look after the two academy students. Anko nodded to a grim-faced Tekuno and walked over to Might Guy's two remaining students. Tenten gently nudged Lee off her. The taijutsu expert continued to sob, but got up and faced Anko.

The snake-mistress nodded, "We're going to be checking the district closest to the Monument. Follow me and Tekuno."

Tenzo did the same with Manabu, Jibei and Tonbo, walking off towards the eastern districts. Taking command over Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino, Hyuga Ko began heading towards the west district and activated his Byakugan.

Only to gasp and stop dead in his tracks.

Hyuga Ko span around, gaze flying to Naruto, "You... your chakra..."

Jiraya sprang into action, "Hyuga Ko, switch out with Riichi!" He barked. "Riichi, take Tobio with you!"

Confused, but not wanting to disobey Jiraya, the black, spiky-haired jonin walked over to Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji with Tobio in tow, passing the stuttering Hyuga. Anko and her group watched the scene with interest.

Jiraya turned to them, "What are you waiting for? You have your orders, move out!"

Anko turned and left the square, too emotionally drained to be irritated at being called out. The other shinobi did likewise, leaving Jiraya, Naruto and Ko alone. The last thing she saw before she moved out of view was Jiraya moving up to talk covertly with Ko, Naruto at his heels.

Anko's team of four walked down the dead streets, the sound of their footsteps echoing harshly in the afternoon air, accompanied only by Lee's sobs. Out of the corner of her eye, Anko noticed that Tenten appeared to be nervously wringing her hands. Which was odd, because her limited interactions with the girl had shown her to be rather confident.

Anko turned her head to face the girl, "Is there something you want to say, kid?"

Startled by Anko's abrupt question, Tenten jumped slightly, "Umm... yeah, I have a question..."

Anko nodded, "Go ahead."

"I don't want to question Jiraya of the Sannin, but, er, how can this be it? Even after the Oto invasion, Konoha has a force of over twenty thousand. Even with this festival, most of them should be out on missions, right? How can there only be twenty-one of us left? It doesn't make sense!"

It was Tekuno who replied, his voice laced with bitterness and grief, "You're not even sixteen yet, kid. You're probably too young to understand just how deeply the Watanagashi festival in engrained on Konoha's psyche. We have the Sandaime to thank for this mess. For whatever reasons, a few years ago the sentimental old fool decided to it would be a good idea to literally ban Konoha ninja from taking missions over the Festival. That legislation didn't last for more than a few years, but by then the psychological damage had already taken root in the minds of Konoha's ninja. No, girl, there are probably still hundreds of us left, or maybe even thousands. Problem is, all of them are on long-term or extreme priority assignments. All the shinobi who would usually be on short or medium length missions, they were all in this village when whatever this is hit. Thanks to that stupid, softhearted man, we've lost over 90 percent of our forces, and we can't even contact the rest because all the fucking records have been turned to stone!"

Anko winced at the disrespect that the joinin was showing to the man who had led and protected Konoha for almost half a century. Unlike Tekuno, she knew the true circumstances behind the Hokage's decision. It had happened place days after an event involving a small village who had been working on a highly hazardous biological toxin, which could have posed a serious threat to the Leaf Village. The entire population of that village had been converted into infectious biological carriers, and the Sandaime had given the order to terminate every single living thing in the village, down to the last child. Anko had been present on that terrible, terrible mission, and she could safely say that Hiruzen Sarutobi was a far harder man than Tekuno gave him credit for.

From what she had heard, ordering the massacre had troubled Hiruzen deeply. She imagined that the Watanagashi law had been some desperate attempt to ease a troubled conscience, to try and reignite his belief that Konoha was seperated from the likes of Kiri and Kumo by some sort of moral integrity. That Konoha cared for its ninja and that the will of fire Hiruzen liked talking about so much remained strong.

The fact that the other major villages had adopted the festival themselves had dispelled that idea somewhat, but the festival had remained. Unfortunately what Tekuno was saying was in fact essentially true, technically, the Sandaime was responsible.

Lee, however, apparently did not share this opinion.

As Tekuno had talked, Lee had stopped dead in his tracks. At some point, his sobs had stopped too. He was standing stock still, face downcast.

"You dare..."

Tekuno, Anko and Tenten span around. Lee looked up, face alight with righteous anger.

"You dare belittle the Sandaime?" Lee demanded fiercely. "The Sandaime protected this village! Without the Sandaime's leadership, I might never have become a ninja! I care not about your rank, Tekuno! I will fight you here and now for his honor, as the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha!"

Tekuno put up his hands placatingly, "Whoa, whoa, settle down kid! I didn't..."

"I will fight for Konoha's survival, as Guy-sensei would have wanted!" Lee cried, eyes shining with renewed determination "If I need to, I will give my life for this village, as the Sandaime did! Did you forget about that, jounin Tekuno? As my good friend Naruto would say, that is my ninja way! Yosh!"

Tekuno stared at Lee silently, eyes boring into him. Finally, a shadow of an echo of a smile ghosted across his features.

"... You're right, kid. I'm out of line. Sandaime couldn't have seen this coming."

"You're absolutely right." Anko said, stepping up behind Tekuno. Her voice turned gruff. "Now shut your holes. We've got work to do, and we don't have time to banter among ourselves."

Lee and Tekuno nodded, and the four got back to conducting their search. Anko couldn't help but smile to herself slightly. Despite the horrendous events of the last two days, the remaining Konoha shinobi were performing admirably well. Jiraya she expected it from, being a veteran and a Sannin and all, but Asuma Sarutobi had taken on the role of second-in-command surprisingly well, despite being in mourning for some woman named Kurenai. The guards at the gate had maintained an impressive front, although Anko doubted that every single one of Konoha's many visitors were fooled. Incredibly, the toads were still keeping up the illusion, although they looked to be near their limit despite taking turns to rest.

Unfortunately, they hadn't been able to convince a large number of the civilians to stay in Konoha. They didn't have the manpower or the will to prevent them from leaving by force, and killing them was out of the question. All they could hope for was that Jiraya's fierce warnings not to inform anyone of Konoha's state would be noted and followed, although it was a feeble hope at best.

"Anko!"

Anko was startled out of her introspection by Tenten's exclamation. Looking to where Tenten was pointing, Anko saw nothing but a hyper-long, stone street filled with stone bodies.

Wait. There was something in the distance. Some flash of colour, possibly a dark green, amongst the dreary blackness. It was too far to make out what it was, but it was definitely not stone.

Nodding to hear teammates, Anko began cautiously moving down the street, keeping an eye out for any sort of threat. As she got closer, the object revealed that it was indeed dark green. Whatever it was, it was on the ground, half hidden behind a stone corpse.

They grew closer still. When they were close enough to notice the green jounin jacket and the mop of grey hair that lay sprawled haphazardly across the ground, Tekuno let out a gasp and ran forward, ignoring Anko's calls for him not to act rashly. Growling in vexation, Anko took off after him, Tenten and Lee following close behind. Finally, Anko's hopes were confirmed.

There, lying in the middle of the street, was the bloodstained but still living body of Hatake Kakashi.

The man had obviously seen better days. Kakashi's head was lying next to a stone gutter, the dried blood coating it indicating that he had probably smashed his head into the stonework during a fall. Large amounts of the man's visible skin looked red and raw, as if burnt, and Anko could see a light coating of black dust on one of the man's arms.

Despite all that, though, Kakashi was still breathing.

"Fuck! Get him a medic!"

xXx

_(The Land of Sound)_

Kimimaro ran across the dusty, barren landscape, the vicious, cutting winds barely phasing him. The Kagura had been running full-tilt even since he had awakened, stopping only to search two Oto bases that had apparently been abandoned after his death. Kimimaro was panting with exertion, but continued to run on, utterly focused on his goals.

Lord Orochimaru had built a fairly major base in this area. Doubtless, that traitor Kabuto and the cursed Uchiha had taken it for their own. Kimimaro was looking to making the trash scream.

His diligence was rewarded when he spotted one of the trademark entrances to an Oto base. The entrance was well disguised, an abandoned-looking metal manhole concealed in the dust. Fortunately, Kimimaro knew what to look for.

Reaching the entrance, the Kaguya noticed that there was significantly less dust on the manhole than there should be. Kimimaro smirked grimly in satisfaction. It was occupied. Good. He was one step closer to avenging Lord Orochimaru.

Ignoring the obvious, dummy switch, Kimimaro pressed the button hidden in the rim and flipped a hidden lever with his other hand. Immediately, the entrance to the base began grinding open, the metal plate sliding into the wall. It revealed a ladder stretching down into the gloom

From within the darkness, a voice came forth, "Password?"

In response, Kimimaro leapt down into the darkness. Falling several meters, he landed less than a meter away from a kunai-wielding, brown-haired Oto shinobi.

The young man leapt backwards, lifting his blade in defence, "Gah! What the hell?"

Kimimaro stepped forward, a blade of bone forming around his right hand, "I'm only going to ask this once. Where are Sasuke Uchiha and Kabuto Yakushi?"

The Oto ninja's eyes widened, "I can't tell you that! Who are you?!"

In response, Kimimaro plunged his bone sword forward. It took the man in the throat, sending him tumbling to the ground with a hole gaping hole right under his chin.

Kimimaro spat on him, "Trash."

The Kaguya began walking down the dim, torchlit corridor, leaving the corpse abandoned on the floor. Turning the corner, he was met by a group of three more Oto ninja.

One of them, a blue-haired man in his 30s, held out a hand to his comrades, "Lower your weapons, he's one of us! Kimimaro, is that you? I heard you were dead!"

The Kaguya tilted his head, "I do not recognize you. Tell me where I can find Sasuke Uchiha and Kabuto Yakushi."

The man grinned and shook his head, "Man, word was that that weird disease you've got finally got the better of you! It's me, Sendu! We were on that mission in Iwa a while back!"

"I do not remember trash. I will ask one final time, where can I find Sasuke Uchiha and Kabuto Yakushi?" Kimimaro replied frostily.

"I don't know about the Uchiha kid, but Kabuto's usually toadying around Orochimaru. Last I heard, they were up in the Northern hideout." Sendu laughed. "Man, it's all business with... Gurk!"

Sendu looked down at the bone sword now impaling his chest, then back up at Kimimaro.

"Why?" He whispered weakly.

"You dare to lie to me about Lord Orochimaru. You betray his cause, and serve his murderer. For trash like yourself, the punishment is death!" Kimimaro droned, moving his mouth next to the dying man's ear.

The Kaguya slid his sword out of the man's chest, letting him tumble bonelessly to the hard, stone floor. The other two Oto shinobi leapt backwards, hands flying through seals.

"**Katon: Great Fireball Technique!"**

A gigantic fireball filled the hallway, speeding down towards Kimimaro. The bone user darted backwards, pointing his fingers at the two.

"**Ten-Finger Drilling Bullets!"**

From out of his fingertips, a wave of tiny bones flew with unerring accuracy and speed towards the Oto shinobi, utterly eviscerating them. Kimimaro ran around the corner and out of range, allowing the fireball to slam harmlessly into the stone rock.

Alarm sounds began ringing throughout the base. Kimimaro began running forward, forming another pair of swords from his shoulders. He wouldn't even need his cursed seal to handle this.

xXx

_(Amegakure)_

Kakuzu leapt from building to building, heading towards the central tower and taking great care to avoid being seen. The thread-user preferred not to be spotted if he could help it, his existence was something of a myth in the shinobi world and he preferred to keep it that way.

The lack of cover wasn't helping. Come to think of it, this was the first time he had ever seen Amegakure without rain.

Kakuzu stopped on a rooftop, taking a moment to survey his surroundings. Something was... off. He hadn't visited Amegakure more than a dozen times in his entire life, but whether under Hanzo or Nagato the people of the village had always had a certain frightened, dour look about them.

But no longer, apparently. They seemed to be oddly content with their lives, even happy. Not that Kakuzu cared about their pathetic existences, but it was odd nevertheless.

Deftly avoiding a patrol, Kakuzu silently propelled himself up onto one of the tower's many balconies and slipped into one of the doors, stopping for a moment to prepare his usual contingency. The Akatsuki member deftly navigated the jagged, maze-like passages of the tower, heading up towards the meeting room. He remembered once purposefully getting Hidan lost in the passages and leaving him to find his own way out, a petty revenge due to the loss of a bounty. Perhaps under Akatsuki's new circumstances he wouldn't find himself paired with the oaf.

Kakuzu reached the great metal doors that led to the meeting room, the very top level of the tower. The doors themselves had obviously been very expensive to produce, engraved with images of gods fighting demons and studded with very tempting looking precious stones. It looked like Pain really did have some sort of god complex. It was generally unwise to anger men like that.

Kakuzu pushed the door open and stepped inside. Pain and Konan standing at the other side of the large, domelike room. The room itself was essentially featureless, aside from a small stone table and some metal chairs near one of the great, glass windows.

Pain motioned for him to sit. Kakuzu shook his head, respectfully declining the offer.

"I'll get straight to the point." Kakuzu announced. "We've somehow traveled in time, haven't we?"

The orange haired man nodded, "Yes, Kakuzu, we have."

Kakuzu was surprised by how little this shocked him. He supposed that after over ninety years of life, not much fazed you anymore.

"What does this mean for the organisation?" He inquired evenly.

"Our goal of retrieving the bijuu is no more. We no longer desire world conquest, if that's what you're asking. Akatsuki is ended."

Kakuzu quickly considered the potential ramifications of Pain's statement. It did not bode well for him.

"... I see" Kakuzu replied finally, taking great care to keep his voice neutral. "In that case, I believe, Lord Pain, that I will take my leave."

Kakuzu turned stiffly and slowly stepped towards the door. Every muscle in his body was primed for action.

Apparently his hunch was correct. Pain stretched out a hand towards him.

"Wait." He said.

The thread-user kept walking. Pain nodded to Konan.

The blue-haired woman stepped forward, moving to intercept him, "Kakuzu..."

Kakuzu's slow gait instantly morphed into a run. The man dashed towards the great, metal doors, flinging them open.

From outside the tower came great blasts of wind and water, shattering the glass windows. In flew two of Kakuzu's thread masks, landing between Kakuzu and Pain and Konan, curring them off from their master. Wind lashed through the now open windows. The man himself charged forward...

Only to find his way blocked by a great, purple barrier, stretching out of the walls to block his passage.

Kakuzu span around, growling. It would be tricky, but he should be able to leap out of one of the windows...

"Kakuzu? What are you doing?"

The bounty hunter looked up to the orange-haired man, who was holding his hands up in some sort of seal.

"Don't make me spell it out, _Lord Pain_" Kakuzu retorted "Akatsuki is gone now. You no longer have any use for me, so in your eyes I am a loose end."

Pain shook his head, "This isn't Takigakure, Kakuzu. The fact that Akatsuki is being disbanded doesn't mean that we don't have use for you."

Kakazu raised an eyebrow, "And what would that be?"

Konan spoke up, "Join Akegakure's forces. Become an Ame shinobi."

The miser snorted, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline. Akatsuki was one thing, but being part of a village proper? That's not going to happen, Konan."

"You wouldn't just be a hired grunt. You performed exceptionally well during your tenure as Akatsuki's financial manager. Furthermore, unlike your predecessor you never embezzled any Akatsuki funds. You could maintain your role as financial manager, or you could continue to act as a semi-independent bounty hunter." Pain replied.

"And why can't I just do that anyway?" Kakuzu countered, edging towards the shattered window.

Konan stepped forward, brandishing a piece of paper, "We're willing to offer you this in annual pay."

Kakuzu sent one of his threads forward, spearing the paper.

"And how much are you offeri..." Kakuzu stopped as his eyes registered the number on the paper in front of him. Then he scanned it again. And again.

"How... You can't possibly have this much." The man almost stuttered.

"We've been gathering funds for quite a while." Pain responded.

"You were never really in it for power anyway, were you Kakuzu?" Konan added. "We could use your assistance. Does this cover any potential expenses lost?"

Kakuzu was silent for a moment, "Will you be extending this offer to the rest of Akatsuki?"

"To Kisame, Itachi, Sasori and Deidara, maybe. Not to Hidan, if that's what you're asking." Pain replied, a hint of humor in his voice.

Kakuzu twitched his fingers. Threads emerged from his wind and water hearts, melding with the ones in his body. Kakuzu absorbed the constructs back into himself and stepped forward.

"We have a deal, Pain." Kakuzu declared.

Pain smiled slightly, and Kakuzu barely refrained from attempting a genjutsu dispelling. "My name is Nagato. Now, I've got some things we need to discuss. Particularly about Tobi..."

xXx

**And done!**

**I'm tired, and I just spent my sleeping hours writing this. Enjoy...  
**


	8. Chapter Eight: Mechanics

**24/11/2012 - 19 Reviews, 30 Favorites, 50 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own a flamethrower, but that's a whooole 'nother story.**

**AN: Update ALL the things!**

Chapter 8: Mechanics

xXX

_(Konoha)_

"You... your chakra..."

Before he had even fully processed what the Hyuuga was saying, Jiraya launched himself into action. He had no idea whether the Byakugan would be able to see that the Kyuubi was absent from Naruto's seal, but he was damn well not going to take the risk. They had enough problems on their plate.

"Hyuga Ko, switch out with Riichi!" He barked. "Riichi, take Tobio with you!"

The jonin did as he commanded. Jiraya turned to the small mob of Konoha shinobi who were watching the scene play out. This wasn't something he wanted seen by prying eyes.

"What are you waiting for? You have your orders, move out!" He commanded.

With obvious reluctance, the assembled ninja did so. Jiraya waited until he was positive that they were out of range, then turned back to Ko.

"Well, what is it you see?" He demanded.

Ko looked up at him. "His chakra... It's like nothing I've ever seen before."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I'm a jinchuriki, it's to be expected."

Ko caught him with a piercing look, "Are you really, Naruto? Because I used to be assigned to guard the heiress, and I you entered the range of my Byakugan many times. And your chakra never looked like it does now."

"Just tell me what you can see, jounin Ko." Jiraya said sharply.

Ko nodded, "His chakra is flowing differently. It looks like someone has taken his chakra coils and beaten them out of shape with a hammer. But the chakra itself... it's odd. It's moving really, really quickly. Your system looks like it's repairing itself, albeit extremely slowly. Right now though, I'd say you can use maybe... an E-rank technique, at best."

He turned to Jiraya, "I don't think that's the main issue here, though. There are a couple of points around the stone circumference where organic material was positioned right on the border. The bits that are outside are weird... Their chakra looks like its been attacked by an infectious chakra of some sort. You understand what I'm talking about, right?"

Jiraya inclined his head, "It has the ability to convert other types of chakra to it's own nature, correct? It's how the Kishimo chakra works, exposure to even a tiny amount sets off a process that will convert your own chakra to Kishimo chakra."

"Precisely. Except that this chakra petrifies you. It doesn't matter how much of it there is initially, it works via the contamination and conversion of the host's chakra. That's probably how it was able to expand over such a large region, and we're lucky that it seemed to run out of steam." Ko turned to the blonde genin. "But there was something familiar with this chakra. It was a lot like the chakra of a bijuu. The chakra that used to permeate your system, Naruto."

Jiraya sighed. "I suppose it can't be helped."

The Sannin raised his hands into a seal, and a shadow clone appeared next to him. "Go over there with my clone, it will explain everything. What you're about to hear is above S-rank, do you hear me? I'll be over once I work out what's happened to Naruto's chakra."

Ko nodded, and moved to the other side of the square.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You know, the whole above S-rank thing doesn't really have as much of an impact without a village to back it up."

Jiraya rubbed his forehead, "I know that, but it's the meaning behind the words that matters. Now, I'm going to give you the chakra paper test."

"We already know my nature, Ero-Sennin. It's wind, remember?" The former-jinchuriki shook his head slightly.

"Naruto, by all accounts the Kyuubi's chakra was ripped out of your system. It's not like Akatsuki's extraction of jinchuriki, either, because it was probably entering your system at the same time. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there isn't really a precedent to this situation." Jiraya said, frustration clear in his voice.

The Toad Sage reached into his vest and pulled out a slip of chakra paper, handing it to Naruto. Immediately, it ripped in half.

"Well, your chakra is still wind natured, at least." Jiraya stated.

Naruto looked at him with confused eyes. "Ero-Sannin, I... I didn't channel any chakra."

"Are you sure?" Jiraya asked. "Here, try it again."

The Toad Sage handed Naruto another piece of chakra paper, to the same effect.

Jiraya whistled. "Okay. This time, try channelling chakra as you touch it."

The blonde genin nodded once more, and closed his eyes, obviously concentrating. The instant his hand touched the paper, there was a loud tearing noise and the paper became a cloud of shredded confetti.

Jiraya scratched his head. "I've never seen chakra paper do something like this before. It's like your wind affinity has become hyperactive or something. Hmm... Actually, this has potential. You've always had trouble with chakra control, correct?"

"You trained me for two and a half years, you tell me." Naruto responded.

"If you use it constantly... I wonder." Jiraya muttered to himself. "Naruto!"

The blonde genin snapped to attention at Jiraya's bark. "Yes?"

"I've got a mission for you. Right now you can only use a tiny amount of chakra, less than a lot of academy students. We're going to take advantage of that. As your chakra coils repair, I want you to do as many chakra-control exercises as humanly possible, day and night." Jiraya smiled slightly. "If what I suspect is correct, then this wind chakra of yours could become quite useful indeed."

xXx

_(The Land of Hot Water)_

"Where are we going, un?"

"Just trust me." Tobi replied smoothly.

Deidara crossed his one remaining good arm. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me where we're going."

The explosive-user gestured towards the campsite, where Hidan was once again lying in a circle of his own blood. "It's bad enough that you've recruited him again. But now you expect me to go into that teleportation thing of yours without an explanation?"

Tobi ground his teeth, "We're _going_ to a healer, to get that arm of yours reattached. Unless, of course, you want to wait for however long it is until Kakuzu shows up. Assuming that Pain hasn't killed him yet."

Deidara looked down at his detached arm, which he was carrying in his good one. "...Fine."

Tobi placed his arm on Deidara's arm and activated his Sharingan. Two minutes later, and the two materialized in the Land of Mountains, at the Reikikage's front doorstep. The freezing, snowy air was an unpleasant contrast to the warm weather of the Land of Hot Water, but both shinobi ignored it.

The Reikikage himself strode out of his hut, waving his arms about. "Tobi! Kiri has a question for you!"

Deidara looked at Tobi, "He's referring to himself in the third person, un. Something you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Just get inside." Tobi growled. He was getting very sick at the irreverence and disrespect his subordinates were treating him with.

Tobi and Deidara walked in through the front door, both ignoring Kiri's excited ramblings.

"Hey Tobi, who do you think would win in a fight between a shark and a tentacle?" Kiri asked happily.

Tobi turned to him. "Deidara has lost his arm, I need you to reattach it."

Kiri took the arm from Deidara. "Spoiler alert, they both die! But the tentacle survives in a new form!"

Deidara turned to Tobi, a look of incredulity on his face. "This is the guy you expect to heal me? He's insane!"

"He's good at what he does. Now shut up and lie down." Tobi gave Deidara a push, sending him tumbling uncomfortably onto the wooden bench.

Kiri was silent for a couple of minutes, examining the stump and the severed arm. On a couple of occasions, he tried to press the arm into the stump, like a child trying to jam two puzzle pieces together. The Reikikage began blowing on the stump, then ran tendrils of medical chakra over the exposed flesh.

Finally, he turned to the two Akatsuki members. "Kiri doesn't think that reattaching this would be a good idea."

"What? Why not?" Deidara demanded.

"Because this arm is filled with an extremely unpleasant poison. It is extremely difficult to remove, and if even the slightest hint remained then you would die. Painfully. "Answered Kiri, voice unnaturally serious. Then his face broke into a grin. "And then Tobi's club wouldn't have many members left, would it?"

Deidara stared at him, "Tobi's... club."

Tobi shook his head. "Ignore him, we're done here. Don't tell anyone about this, understood?"

Deidara smirked. "What, that you stole your idiot act from some hermit medic up in the mountain? Honestly, I don't really care."

Deidara hoisted himself to his feet, and strode out of the hut. As he did so, he grabbed his arm back from Kiri.

Tobi grabbed Deidara's shoulder, significantly more forcefully than was necessary. "I'm serious."

The two dematerialized, leaving a waving Kiri once more alone on the plateau.

The Reikikage giggled. "Have fun with Mr Snake, you two!"

xXx

_(The Land of Sound)_

Kimimaro fell to his knees, panting heavily, as the Cursed Seal receded into his flesh.

Turned out he'd needed it after all. When the trash that ran the place had realized that they didn't stand a chance, they'd decided to activate the base's self-destruct mechanism. The base had turned out to be a research lab for highly dangerous experiments on humans, and the fools who staffed it had released every single experiment, who had immediately gone on a rampage.

It had been a long exhausting battle, but it was what had come after that had been the most worrying.

Kabuto's traitorous lackeys had obviously installed some sort of new defense between the time of his death and the time of his resurrection. As he had pulled his blade from the last of the monstrosities he had been forced to battle, he'd noticed an ominous purple haze permeating the air around him.

Naturally, he'd got out of the base as quickly as he could, but the damage had already been done. He could feel the poison from the gas searing his lungs, a burning pain that was growing stronger with every passing minute.

Perhaps a medic could save him, but he wasn't going to take that chance. There was no time for rest or recovery. Lord Orochimaru's murderers were out there and it was his duty to bring their lives to a close, even at the cost of his own.

Pulling himself to his feet, Kimimaro set off in the direction of the Northern Hideout, heedless of the ever-growing pain in his chest.

xXx

_(Konoha)_

"Asuma, sir!"

Asuma looked around from his post at Konoha's gate to see a man dressed in civilian clothes running towards him. Asuma recognized the man immediately, he was one of the non-shinobi that Jiraya had assigned to reading through any mail that arrived. Despite the sending tower (and all the birds within it) being converted to stone, messenger birds from other villages and towns were still arriving.

Ginkoku, that was his name.

"You need to read this! Now!" Ginkoku yelled at him.

It was then that Asuma noticed the violet scrolls that the man was carrying. Scrolls that, if he remembered correctly, were supposed to be delivered to the Hokage directly and took precedence over _all _else.

Asuma rushed over to the man, taking the scrolls from him. There were five, although only one was unsealed.

Ginkoku started rambling. "We opened this one, and then I grabbed all the other ones of the same colour! The sigil looks legitimate sir! I think it's from one of our shinobi!"

Quickly, Asuma opened the scroll, and scanned its contents. His eyes widened, and he moved onto the next one. Within the space of a minute, he had read all five.

They were indeed from Konoha shinobi. Three of them were stationed near Kumo, two near Iwa. And all bore a similar message.

"_Iwagakure has been crushed in a landslide."_

"_All life in Kumogakure has been wiped out."_

"_Few Iwa shinobi survived"_

"_Kumogakure has been destroyed."_

"_Iwagakure has been destroyed."_

The papers fell from Asuma's hands. Konohagakure. Kumogakure. Iwagakure. Three of the Big Five, gone.

One of the two academy students, Tomaru, ran over. "Asuma-sensei? What's wrong?"

"Heh...Heheh."

Asuma began laughing, softly at first, then louder. He looked up at Tomaru and Ginkoku with wide, slightly-crazed eyes.

"We're not the only ones. It's not just the end of Konoha! It's the end of the entire damn shinobi world!"

xXx

**I'm back! Now that semester break is upon me, I actually have time to write. Hell, I even wrote a new chapter for Rasengan VS Death Note. I hadn't touched that one in years!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget, I've only written about the fate of three of the energy fragments. I have interesting plans for the last one.**

**Oddly, I much prefer writing the villains to the Konoha crew.**

**Much as I hate to do the whole cliched 'Naruto gets a new power' thing, I felt it had to be done in the interests of balance. He's going to need it to avoid being instantly curb-stomped by this story's rogues' gallery. After all, the only thing more boring than an Invincible Hero is an Invincible Villain. According to TV Tropes, anyway. You should go read that site.**

**Alternately, Read and Review!**


	9. Chapter Nine: Clash in Ame

**26/12/2012 - 25 Reviews, 42 Favorites, 64 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I used to own Naruto, then I took an overused meme to the knee. It ended badly. **

**AN: Someone sent a review saying that it was too difficult to follow everything that was going on. I feel that this is somewhat justified as it's the period directly after everyone got shunted back in time, but it's a fair point nevertheless. I'm going to try and keep each chapter localized around a certain area from now on, rather than the everything at once method I've been previously taking. I'm not sure I'll be able to fulfill that promise, but I'll try nevertheless.**

Chapter 9: Clash in Ame

xXx

_(Amegakure, Pain's Tower)_

"So Iwa, Kumo and Konoha have all been wiped out?" Kazuzu said dryly. "Pity. They gave the best bounties."

Nagato ignored the latter part of Kakuzu's statement. "As you can imagine, this changes the situation considerably."

Kakuzu shot him a disdainful look. "Why? We don't exactly have strong trade or political relations with them, I can't imagine that it's really going to affect Ame. I never took you for the bleeding heart type, Nagato."

The former head of Akatsuki turned his Rinnegan on Kakuzu. The other man stared back impassively. "I'm still your leader, Kakuzu. Believe me, I haven't lost any of my power. The fact that I'm no longer the head of Akatsuki doesn't mean that I can't separate your head from your shoulders if need be."

Nagato, Kakuzu and Konan were conducting this meeting in the topmost room of Nagato's tower. Unlike previous Akatsuki meetings, they were all seated in a circle of metal chairs. This had the slightly amusing effect of making it seem like the meeting of a three-membered alcoholics anonymous club, were it not for the absolutely terrifying visages of two of the three people there.

Unlike at previous meetings, Nagato was only half serious about the threat. While there were still certain boundaries that he wouldn't allow to be crossed, he'd become a touch more relaxed when dealing with his subordinates, if only slightly.

Nagato didn't care about Kumo or Iwa, or even most of Konoha. While he no longer sought their deaths, he wasn't going to stretch his neck out to help them, either. If Naruto had survived the catastrophe, then he would place his full support behind him. If his old teacher was alive, then he would at least make contact and share what he knew. He owed the man that much. If neither Naruto or Jiraya had survived, then he would leave what remained of Konoha to its own devices. His responsibilities lay with the people of Ame. Perhaps he might open his country's borders to refugees, but that would be it.

Konan looked to him. "How will this alter our plans?"

Nagato cleared his throat. "Originally, I was going to travel to Konoha make contact myself. However, this is no longer a viable option. With three of the five largest shinobi villages eradicated, I'm sure you can both appreciate the chaos that the world is about to be thrown into. I need to remain here, to lead and safeguard the Land of Rain from any foreign threats."

Kakuzu nodded. "What are you suggesting as an alternative?"

"Konan will go in my place." Nagato said. "Unfortunately, with Tobi still at large I'm not willing to let her go alone. Therefor..."

Kakuzu saw where this was going. "You can't be serious."

"You will accompany her." Nagato finished.

Konan was just as incredulous as Kakuzu. "I recognize the importance of this mission, Nagato, but is bringing Kakuzu really a wise option? He's been responsible for the deaths of a great number of Konoha shinobi."

Kakuzu nodded. "Hidan and I killed the Sandaime's son, remember? If any of them still remember that, then there's going to be hell to pay."

"I understand the difficulties, but Kakuzu is the only Amegakure shinobi strong enough to be of any use against an S-rank opponent." Nagato replied. "If anything of Konoha remains, it will be a pathetic remnant of it's former self. They will need to accept any assistance they can get, or they will face extinction."

"Konoha is gone." Kakuzu said disapprovingly. "We have nothing to gain from helping a few miserable survivors."

Nagato turned away from him. "You have your orders. I expect you gone within the hour."

He got up, and put a hand on Konan's shoulder. "If neither the teacher or the apprentice are there, don't bother making contact."

She nodded to him.

Kakuzu and Konan left the room, leaving Nagato alone once more.

xXx

Eight hours later, two more former Akatsuki members paid a visit to Nagato's tower.

Deidara cricked the back of his neck. "So let me get this straight. You're breaking up Akatsuki, but you still want us to work for you?"

Nagato nodded from his position upon the throne. "You can either become Ame shinobi, or seek employment elsewhere. I have no problem with either course of action."

Kisame grinned, revealing a set of razor-sharp teeth. "So the mighty god has given up on his plans? How unlike you, LordPain."

Nagato ignored Kisame's words. "What is your answer?"

Kisame stepped forward, casually slinging Samehada over his shoulder. "I'm afraid we're going to have to decline."

Deidara stepped up beside him, hand moving to his clay pouch. "You see, we don't want Akatsuki broken up, un."

Kisame laughed. "We've recieved a better offer from someone else. You've been made redundant, _Nagato_."

Nagato sighed. "Very well."

The former leader of Akatsuki shot to his feet, hands raised. "**Shinra Tensai!"**

The entire room around him was devastated, blown apart by an invisible wave of force. Deidara and Kisame were sent flying backwards, hurtling through the window and into the open air beyond.

Seconds later a great clay bird rose into Nagato's line of sight, with Kisame and Deidara on its back. Deidara shouted something, and an array of white shapes flew towards the tower.

Nagato dashed forward, dodging the first few clay creatures and leaping out of the building. Behind him, the tower exploded in a brilliant ball of light.

Nagato flew through the air, landing on Deidara's clay bird. A metal spike slid out of Nagato's sleeve, and he leapt towards the explosive-user, only to find his path blocked by Kisame. The shark-man grinned and swung his great sword at Ame's leader. Nagato used his Asura Path to augment the strength of his arms by reinforcing his bones with a network of mechanical supports and parried the blow with his spike.

Deidara leapt off the clay bird, creating another bird beneath him. Smiling viciously, Deidara brought his hands up into the explosion seal.

Nagato leapt from the clay bird he was on just before it exploded, landing on the side of his tower. Kisame followed him, avoiding the explosion by milliseconds. Weakened by Deidara's explosions, the great metal tower began to crumble. Nagato and Kisame ran down the side of the structure, trading blows even as it collapsed underneath them.

Reaching the street below, Nagato turned to see Kisame leaping towards him, Samehada held high for an overhead swing. Raising his arms once again, Nagato used his Shinra Tensai technique again, sending the swordsman flying through the air. Around them, Amegakure citizens fled for their lives, their devotion to him overcome by their survival instincts.

The Rinnegan user sliced his finger open with his tooth, and slammed it into the ground. Immediately, a huge cloud of smoke appeared around him, and a great screech could he heard. A great, grey bird with Rinnegan eyes and a huge yellow beak flew out of the smoke, Nagato on its back.

Ame's leader began flying towards the village's outskirts. Fighting within the streets of Amegakure would put him at a huge disadvantage as he'd have the additional handicap of the lives of his citizens to think about. Outside, he could do as he pleased.

Behind him, Deidara had picked up Kisame and was following him. The explosive-user released a swarm of small, explosive birds, which shot towards him with impressive speed. Nagato used his Asura path to unclip his right hand from his arm and fire off a wave of missiles. The missiles homed in on the clay birds, and both detonated in a set of explosions not unlike a fireworks show.

Finally, Nagato reached his destination; an empty stretch of river dotted with the occasional stone platform. Leaping off his bird, he slammed his hand down onto a patch of exposed rock. Another huge cloud of smoke appeared.

Reaching the empty stretch of river, Kisame leapt off Deidara's clay bird. The bomber flew up to a higher altitude, preparing to provide ranged support.

Out of the cloud flew Nagato's bird, with a colossal, centipede-like creature clutched between its huge talons. A glob of some nasty-looking emerald liquid as large as Deidara himself flew out of the centipede-thing's mouth and whizzed past the bomber's bird. Deidara swore, and began to take evasive action.

Below, the smoke cleared to reveal Nagato standing on top of a gigantic crustacean, most of it submerged underwater. The crustacean began scuttling towards Kisame, claws clicking ominously. The shark man grimaced and began making hand seals. A great section of the river around him began ominously moving towards him. Kisame cried out something Nagato couldn't hear and thrust his hands forward. Instantly, a titanic shark of water formed from the water around Kisame and flew towards Nagato's crab.

The shark hit the crab with a thundering crash of water. As it did so, the crab disappeared in a puff of smoke, while the shark seemed to grow larger. It continued traveling along the surface of the water until it hit the bank on the other side, exploding in a massive eruption of water, mud and sand.

Kisame took a moment's reprieve to catch his breath. The shark-man looked up just in time to see Nagato hurtling towards him, spike in hand. The weapon caught Kisame in his left shoulder, blood pouring out of the wound. Kisame roared and ripped the spike out, using his other hand to swing Samehada and force Nagato back.

Above, Deidara was frantically dodging the globs of acid that the centipede was spitting at him, releasing waves of explosives of his own.

Kisame roared and charged at Nagato, Samehada swinging furiously. The Rinnegan user was forced onto the defensive, slightly outmatched by Kisame's kenjutsu skills. Nagato was able to hold his own, but on a couple of occasions Kisame was able to score minor hits, each one draining portions of his chakra.

Finally, Kisame used both his hands to swing Samehada in powerful overhead strike. Using Asura path to reinforce his right hand to it's maximum extent, Nagato caught the blow on one of his spikes, right arm shaking with exertion as he did so. With his left, he reached up and grabbed Kisame's arm.

Immediately, the telltale blue glow of his soul removal technique appeared around Nagato's hand. For the first time, signs of alarm started to appear on Kisame's face. He began struggling, but Nagato held his arm in an iron grip.

"Yeee-haaaaawwwww!"

A loud cry came from above. Nagato looked up for its source, and blanched. Hurtling towards him, on yet another one of Deidara's clay birds, was the cloaked form of Hidan. The man was grinning insanely, waving his scythe in a dramatic manner, and didn't seem to be showing any signs of stopping his headlong charge anytime soon.

Releasing his soul removal technique, Nagato leapt backwards and fired off another Shinra Tensai. Kisame was blown backwards once again, sent hurtling away like a stone skipping on a river. The clay bird slammed into the river's surface, detonating.

As he had suspected, Hidan hadn't bothered to jump off the bird. Instead, he used the explosion to propel himself towards Nagato, laughing madly as he did so. Nagato tried to dodge out of the way, but the insane speed at which Hidan was traveling meant that he wasn't able to evade it completely. Purely by chance, the zealot's scythe clipped his left thigh, drawing a thin trail of blood.

It didn't take more than a microsecond for Nagato to realize the implications of this. Instantly, he was on the offensive, charging towards Hidan. The zealot had landed painfully on one of the stone platforms, and was in the process of regaining his feet when Nagato launched a wave of missiles directly at him. The man was too dazed to try and dodge, and he was blown high into the air a second time. His scythe was blown out of his hands and sent spinning into the river, the blood washed off by the river's freezing water.

Somehow, Hidan landed on his feet.

"I'm going to make you scream for that." The zealot yelled at him, pulling a retractable spear out of his cloak.

Nagato didn't bother to respond and dashed forward, spikes in both hands. Compared Kisame, Hidan's swordsmanship skills were pathetic. Catching Hidan's first blow on one of spikes, Nagato rammed the second into his chest. Taking advantage of the man's momentary shock, Nagato hit him with another, then two more. Running his chakra through the spikes, Nagato forced Hidan to his knees, then impaled him with another eight.

Above, Deidara had just finished off the bird-centipede summon combination. Taking in the situation below, he reached into his clay pouch and pulled out his favorite masterwork, a small, humanoid sculpture with wide, crossed hands and a gaping mouth. The C3. Flying directly over Nagato, he tossed the sculpture over the side, hands moving into seals.

Nagato looked up to see Deidara release the bomb, realizing that he wouldn't be able get out of the way in time. Quickly running over what he knew about Deidara's abilities, he morphed his hand into an Asura Path weapon and took careful aim.

The instant Deidara's structure expanded into its larger form, a beam of pure lightning chakra shot through the air and pierced it. Immediately, the bomb was neutralized, burning up into fragments in the air.

Behind him, Hidan got to his feet. "Oy, bastard, pick me up!"

Hearing Hidan's cry, Deidara flew down towards him, firing off another wave of clay constructs to keep Nagato busy. When the bird reached ground level, the zealot leapt up onto its back.

Deidara turned his focus to dodging the beams of lightning chakra that Nagato was firing off at him. "Why'd I have to pick you up? Are we doing another..."

He was stopped mid-sentence as Hidan's spear pierced his heart. The man died instantly, body slumping onto the bird.

Completely and utterly under Nagato's control in lieu of the twelve chakra rods sticking out of his body, Hidan grabbed a kunai from the corpse and promptly decapitated himself.

Nagato watched as the head tumbled off the back of the clay bird and landed a few meters away from him. His blank expression turned to a frown when he realized that the head was that of a brown-haired middle-aged man.

Shapeshifting technique. The former Akatsuki members were using surrogates to do the fighting for them. What a pain.

The sound of battle caught his attention. Down in the direction where he had flung Kisame, he could see the telltale signs of jutsu being used. Sliding the spike back into his coat sleeve, Nagato sprinted towards the scene.

Above him, the clay bird flew on towards parts unknown, still carrying its cargo of one and a half corpses.

A couple of minutes later, Nagato arrived at another stretch of river. In front of him, a bloodied Kisame was tearing apart a group of Ame shinobi who had arrived to investigate.

Nagato raised a hand. **"Shinra Tensai!"**

Everything, including Kisame and the Ame shinobi, flew towards him. Nagato neatly sidestepped his men, and impaled the suprised Kisame through the chest. Despite being caught off guard, the man had tried to swing Samehada at him at he flew, but Nagato had parried the blow. When the man tried to kick him, Nagato slammed a spike into each of his limbs in quick succession.

Arms and legs useless, The shark man leered at him. "It's been fun, _god._"

Not bothering to bandy words, Nagato impaled him again, this time through one of his eyes. 'Kisame' died instantly, morphing into the body of a pretty woman in her twenties.

A woman he recognized as one of the three members of an Ame patrol who had disappeared yesterday.

Nagato inwardly grit his teeth in rage, then turned to the stunned Ame shinobi around him. He placed a mask of calm control over his face.

Now, more than ever, they needed a leader.

xXx

Waves of anger shot through Tobi's nerves as he examined the red-haired body in front of him.

He'd been counting on the Rinnegan being one of the tools in his arsenal. He'd sent shapeshifted copies of Hidan, Deidara and Kisame to try and take out Nagato, for the express purpose of causing enough of a distraction that he could complete his mission undetected.

As he'd hoped, Nagato had stored his old body in the shrine it had been concealed in once before by Konan. To his surprise and irritation, however, Nagato had apparently anticipated Tobi would try and take the Rinnegan, and had prepared accordingly.

Tobi had almost forgotten to run a diagnostic jutsu before he had absorbed Nagato's eyes. He was now extremely glad that he had remembered to do so.

Nagato had inscribed explosive seals into the eyeballs. _His own _eyeballs. Even to a deeply apathetic man like Tobi, that was pretty twisted. If he'd stuck them into his eye sockets, one seal from Nagato would have blown his head open.

They weren't seals that could be removed, either. Nagato obviously knew what he was doing.

Even so, he carefully removed the eyes and sealed them into a scroll. You never when a pair of exploding eyeballs could come in handy.

His grizzly work done, Tobi slipped out onto the streets of Ame. The sounds of battle could still be heard on the village's outskirts, but Tobi doubted that anything would come of it. Even together, with only 50% of their strength there was no way that his subordinates would be able to bring Nagato down.

As he was in the process of leaving Ame, a chance statement spoken by a civilian woman on the street caught his attention.

"You know, Sayoko said she saw another one of those weird red lights. Like the one that hit Lord Nagato's tower!"

Red light? The memories were vague, but Tobi remembered his time-travel experience being accompanied by a strange red aura. Apparently, Pain and Konan's resurrections had included a similar light-show.

Tobi stopped mid-walk. The woman had claimed that two red lights had been witnessed.

Konan hadn't been resurrected. Then who...?

Tobi began systematically going over the people who had been in the cave during that final, terrible day. Nagato was the only one who should have woken up in Ame.

Unless... the radius had extended beyond the cave. Tobi had positioned other guards, after all.

Tobi tried to remember the identities of the other resurrected shinobi who he had stationed nearby at the time. Suddenly, it clicked. There had been two, placed closer than the others. Kushimaru Kuriarare of the Seven Swordsmen and Hanzo of the Salamander.

Kushimaru, who had sword loyalty to his as the true Mizukage, and Hanzo, who despised Nagato with a hatred even greater than his own.

Drawing the hood of his cloak further over his head to hide his mask, Tobi tapped the woman who had spoken on the shoulder, startling her and her conversation partner.

"Terribly sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't help but hear that you were talking about the odd red light that was seen a few days ago. I was wondering if you could point me in the direction that it was spotted in? I'm something of an amateur enthusiast about stuff like that." Tobi asked warmly, giving a self-deprecating chuckle at the end.

"Oh, um, sure. It was, um, near Nasaki, about a hour's walk north from here." The woman said, caught slightly off-balance by the request.

Tobi smirked under his mask. Maybe he wouldn't need the Rinnegan after all.

xXx

**Done! **

**My first real fight scene! Nifty.  
**

**A question, for anyone who cares to answer it. This chapter is around 3,300 words long, and took around four hours to write. How does that compare to how quickly you usually write stuff? Does everyone else write at a similar pace, or am I just incredibly slow?**

**Up next time: Hidan, Kisame and Deidara are tasked with guarding lovable old drunk Tazuna on his long trip home. But is this mission to Wave really as easy as it seems? Or are more sinister forces at work?**

**Without your feedback, this is where this story could end up. Mission to Wave. Think about it.**

**Read and Review!**


	10. Chapter Ten: Root

**7/2/2013 - 33 Reviews, 53 Favorites, 74 Followers**

**Disclaimer: I used to own Naruto, for a while. They took it away from me when I tried to give Sasuke a Death Note. Apparently, that would "end the series in about two episodes and get us all sued, you moron." Pity, I think it could have worked.**

**AN: So I had a day off today, and I checked my email to find that I'd received three deeply encouraging reviews from ****Insanely-Yours96.**** They were so encouraging, in fact, that I decided to spend the day writing up this chapter instead of doing something productive. So Kudos to you, ****Insanely-Yours96****, because you were the one who made me write this chapter.**

Chapter Ten: Root

xXx

_(Konoha)_

There was one last place that needed checking before the sweep of Konoha could be complete.

Jiraiya moved down through one of Konoha's many sewers, shoes clacking against the floor. There was no smell down here, everything in it had been turned to stone, including the water. Scanning the walls, the Sannin found what he was looking for, a tiny stone button expertly hidden on the roof of the sewer.

Jiraiya reached up and pressed it, wary of any traps. As he pressed it, there was a click, but nothing else happened.

Of course. The mechanism would have been turned to stone.

Placing his ear to the stone wall, Jiraiya rapped his fingers against it. Moving slightly to the left, he did the same thing. About thirty seconds of quiet tapping later and the man was rewarded with a hollow sound, subtly different to what he had previously heard.

Raising his hands into a seal, Jiraiya quietly whispered the verbal component of a jutsu. The Sannin placed his hand onto the stone wall, which seemed to ripple slightly. Ever so slowly, he began sinking into it. The stone seemed to ripple slightly.

Shifting through the wall, Jiraiya found himself emerging in a black stone corridor, leading to another stone door.

The Sannin couldn't help but whistle at the ingenuity of the set-up. The sewer he had come from was one of Konoha's deepest, far enough down that it wouldn't be spotted by accident by a Hyuuga with an activated Byakugan. The walls behind him were inscribed with seals, many which should have prevented him from doing exactly what he had just done. Apparently, whatever had caused the petrification of Konoha had also deactivated the seals. Furthermore, the narrow corridor was riddled with unactivated jutsu traps, which he imagined were designed to be set off from inside.

Whoever had designed this place knew what they were doing.

Jiraiya moved carefully down the passageway, reaching the door. There was no obvious handle, and a small, shuttered slit near the top. Not really one for knocking, Jiraiya simply repeated his jutsu and phased through it.

He materialized in a wide, circular chamber. As he had expected, the floor was littered with petrified stone Root shinobi, pain evident in the contorted positions their bodies were in. Whatever they'd experienced, it had been powerful enough to override their emotional training. What he did not expect were the four masked figures, alive and standing in the center of the room. The four were dressed in Root gear, masked, and brandishing weapons at him.

"Name, rank, affiliation?" The Root member in the center demanded, voice emotionless and empty. The man was wearing an ANBU mask that seemed to be vaguely based on a lizard, as well as a hood that covered his head. To his left was a black-haired man wearing a bear mask, to his right stood a brunette woman with a mask painted like a hawk and a bald man with a coyote-mask. All four held short, flat swords.

"Jiraiya, jounin of Konoha." The Sannin replied. "Registration number 002301."

"What is your purpose in coming here? Are there others?" Lizard-mask droned again.

"I'm here to see Danzo. I've come alone." Jiraya answered.

The four Root members went silent.

"Lord Danzo is... indisposed." Hawk-mask said finally.

Jiraya raised an eyebrow, "You're not very good at lying. Where is your leader?"

Lizard-mask stepped forward, his comrades moving to back him up, "This is a Root matter. Leave, Jiraya of the Sannin."

"Root shinobi are still Konoha shinobi, therefor this is a Konoha matter too. Take me to Danzo." Jiraya retorted, with a touch of force.

The four Root ninja turned to eachother, quickly conversing. After half a minute, Lizard-mask finally turned back to Jiraya.

"Come this way." He said.

Lizard-mask and Hawk-mask stepped towards a small, inconspicuous-looking door to the left of the room. Bear-mask and Coyote-mask remained where they were, on guard. Jiraya followed them.

The stone door was slightly open, and the three were able to move comfortably through the gap. The door lead to a small, fairly spartan-looking office. The room contained only a desk and a filing cabinet, the papers on the desk placed in piles with an obvious meticulousness.

And behind the desk, in all its glory, was the stone figure of Danzo Shimura.

The aged man looked terrible. Danzo's face was contorted in pain, teeth set in an agonized grimace. The man's normally neat and meticulous hair was a tangled mess.

The bandages that normally covered his right eye had been torn off haphazardly, revealing an empty socket. In Danzo's right hand was the crushed remains of what appeared to be an eye, in his left was a scroll of some kind, which had clearly been set on fire just before it was petrified. Jiraiya could just make out the words "classified" near the top.

Even in death, the man had been trying to protect his village.

The Sannin moved to the filling cabinet, only to find that all the files had become useless stone. Sighing, Jiraiya turned and left Danzo's office. The two Root followed him back into the large, circular room.

The Sannin sighed, and turned to the Root shinobi. "What are you going to do now?"

"Our purpose is to serve Lord Danzo." Coyote-mask droned tonelessly.

"Your leader is gone. Do you have lives you can return to?" The Sannin inquired.

Bear-mask cocked his head, but Jiraiya was met with silence once again. The Sannin said nothing in return and simply stared back.

Eventually, Bear-mask, who had remained silent up until this point, spoke up, "Our purpose is to serve Lord Danzo. Without Lord Danzo, we have no purpose. A tool with no purpose has no reason to exist."

Jiraya's eyes bored into him. "So you're going to commit seppuku?"

The Root member nodded, "Once we have confirmed that Lord Danzo cannot be saved."

Jiraya was rocked slightly by this. He'd known that Root was in some ways akin to a cult, but this was a little extreme. If what Naruto said was correct, Danzo had met his end at the hands of Sasuke Uchiha in the alternate future. Had his entire Root really committed some sort of group suicide afterwards? Surely Danzo wouldn't have desired this, the man would be able to recognize the huge benefit that Root would provide to Konoha even after his death.

"Is this what Danzo ordered you to do?" He asked.

Coyote-mask shook his head, "Danzo left instructions with a number of Root members, and in a scroll in his office. All of those Root members are now deceased, and the scroll is illegible."

The Root member reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, stone scroll.

Jiraya stretched out a hand, "Can I see it?"

Somewhat hesitantly, Lizard-mask handed it to him. Jiraya examined it. Unfortunately, it was as the Root member said. Even if he was able to get the scroll open without breaking it, the words were unreadable.

Jiraya looked back up at the Root. "This isn't what Danzo would desire."

"We are tools without a purpose." Bear-mask replied.

Jiraya shook his head. "No, you don't understand. Danzo devoted his entire life to protecting Konoha. That was his purpose. His final act was to destroy a scroll of information to prevent others from learning Konoha's secrets."

"I don't comprehend your words." Hawk-mask said.

The Sannin rubbed the back of his head, "The point is, Danzo wouldn't have wanted you to commit suicide. He would have wanted to you continue to protect Konoha in his stead. You want to honour Danzo's memory? You want a purpose? Protect Konoha. Protect it until your last breath, as he did."

Coyote-mask shook his head slightly, "Danzo is gone, and so has Konoha. There is no one to lead us, and no village to protect."

"The true heart of Konoha is not its buildings or its walls, but its people." Jiraya retorted. "As long as a single person bears the sign of the leaf, Konoha lives on. Serve the new Hokage, whoever they may be. Live!"

As he spoke, Jiraya realized that his words were not just for the Root shinobi. Tsunade's death had shaken him, possibly worse than any other event in his life. For days, he had been contemplating whether there was really any point defending Konoha any more. After all, most of its population had been killed along with his teammate. It would have been all too easy to simply take Naruto and abandon the village entirely. At his lowest point, he had even contemplated suicide, something that shocked and disgusted him.

In the end, though, he just couldn't. He could not simply leave, because it would mean that all the sacrifices of the past were for nothing. Hiruzen, Minato, Kushina, Sakumo, Tsunade, Dan, Nawaki, to abandon the leaf would be to dishonor their memories, and that was was one thing he would never do. He would keep the Will of Fire burning, even if he had to do it alone.

Apparently his words had the desired effect. Bear-mask, Lizard-mask and Hawk-mask nodded slowly. Coyote-mask remained still.

"Very well. We will serve Konoha, as Lord Danzo would have wished." Bear-mask said quietly.

Jiraya smiled. "Good choice. Would you mind removing your masks? It's important that we know your identities."

The Bear and Hawk-masked Root members reached up and removed their masks, revealing a handsome, aristocratically-featured man in his late twenties and a homely-looking woman in her mid-thirties.

The woman who had been wearing the hawk-mask spoke up, "I go by the name Tera. I have no real name."

"I go by the name Daijmu. I have no real name." The man droned.

Jiraya looked to the remaining Root members, who had not removed their masks.

"I do not intend to remove my mask. I see no reason for revealing my identity." Lizard-mask said, answering Jiraya's unspoken question.

Coyote-mask shook his head. "I am a tool without a purpose. I die with Lord Danzo.

Jiraya stared at the man for a good ten seconds, and then gave a subtle nod. He'd tried his best. If the man wasn't convinced now, chances were he never would be.

"It's important that I know your name, even if it's just an alias." The Sannin said, turning his gaze back to Lizard-mask.

"I do not intend to remove my mask. I see no reason for revealing my identity." Lizard-mask repeated, the slightest hint of irritation creeping into his voice.

Jiraya sighed. "Fine. Have it your way. Follow me."

Jiraya turned and began walking back towards the exit. Daijmu and Tera looked to eachother, and followed. Lizard-mask remained in place for a good twenty seconds, before reaching an internal decision and following the Sannin. Coyote-mask just stood there. The four shinobi exited into the sewer, leaving Danzo's underground complex as the realm of the dead.

xXx

Careful...

The pebble lifted ever-so slightly off the top of his finger, suspended in the air by a blue column of energy.

Careful...

Cracks began to form on the bottom of the pebble. Naruto shut his eyes and tried to filter out the wind element from his chakra.

Careful...

With a soft crack, the pebble fractured into a dozen separate pieces, which fell to the floor.

Naruto sighed, and allowed the blue glow of his chakra to fade away.

When Jiraya had told him that his chakra had become wind-supercharged, Naruto hadn't really stopped to consider the potential ramifications. He'd spent just about every moment since doing chakra exercises, and it turned out that having wind chakra permeate every single jutsu was actually incredibly irritating.

The good news was that he was already regaining control over his massive chakra reserves. Earlier that day, he'd been able to create a kage bunshin without being brought to his knees by crippling pain. The bad news was that all his techniques were now wind-element jutsu, even ones really not suited to being elemental techniques at all. When his kage bunshin had dispelled, it had done so in an explosion of impossibly sharp blades of wind. While it certainly had definite potential as an offensive attack, it made his conventional clone-rush tactics untenable, because a single destroyed clone could set off a chain reaction which could take out his entire force. A similar problem had occurred when he'd tried using the henge, the dismissal of which had almost turned Chouji into salsa. Destructive, but not particularly useful in covert stealth missions.

Even simple chakra exercises had become difficult. Usually, you were supposed to try suspending a leaf with your chakra, but all the leaves he'd tried that on had been effectively vaporized in seconds.

He looked down at the floor of the medical tent, which was littered with fragments of leaves and stones. He'd be receiving an earful if Sakura found...

Sakura...

A painful lump formed in his throat. Naruto looked the tent, trying to distract himself from the toxic train of thought. The tent was a medium sized one, large enough to hold five beds. Three of those were occupied. Directly adjacent to Naruto's chair was Kakashi's bed. All traces of the malignant chakra had been carefully purged from his system, but the copy-nin had yet to wake up. The man's breathing was slow and soft, barely a whisper. Naruto had resisted the impulse to pull the man's mask down and look at Kakashi's face. He wasn't really sure why.

The other two beds were occupied by Zabuza and Haku. For some reason the two shinobi hadn't woken up yet, despite the fact that they were perfectly fine physically. Jiraya had chalked it down to the unpredictable nature of the Kyuubi's chakra and left it at that.

Both had been stripped of their weapons, for obvious reasons. Jiraya had insisted on placing chakra-restraints on them, which Naruto had been against. Eventually, they'd decided on a compromise. When Naruto was present in the tent, the restraints would be removed. If he was absent, they would be re-added. Jiraya had decided that, if Zabuza and Haku were to wake up in an unfamiliar camp, Naruto was probably going to be the only one who could talk them down. If either were to wake up with their hands bound they probably wouldn't respond well, so Naruto was spending as much time in the medical tent as he could.

Against his will, his mind returned to the fates of his precious people. A voice in the back of his head began listing them, one after the other.

Sakura... died during the Night of Stone.

Sasuke... unknown, probably still with Orochimaru

Kakashi... alive

Iruka... died during the Night of Stone

Tsunade... died during the Night of Stone

Jiraya... alive

Konohamaru... died during the Night of Stone

Chouji... alive

Hinata... died during the Night of Stone

Ino... alive

Kiba... died during the Night of Stone

Lee... alive

Neji... fate unknown. Last seen heading off on a diplomatic mission to Kirigakure.

Shikamaru... alive

Shino... died during the Night of Stone

Tenten... alive

Sai... fate unknown. Jiraya was currently scouting out the Root bunkers.

Shizune...

Naruto grabbed another pebble and forcibly directed all his attention towards lifting it with his chakra, trying to block out the faces of his friends from his mind.

As with before, the pebble only lasted a few seconds before exploding. The former jinchuriki sighed again, and was reaching for yet another rock when the tent flap opened and Jiraya walked in.

The Sannin looked as tired as ever, but a little of the old energy that had been absent since Tsunade's death had returned to his step. Jiraya shot Naruto a weary smile as he fell into one of the chairs, which the teen returned.

"How did the scouting go?" Naruto asked, unable to disguise his apprehension.

Jiraya reached up and rubbed his forehead. "It went... alright. As we suspected, Root got hit by the chakra too. I found four survivors, who I assume weren't there at the time. Three of them agreed to come up with me and help."

Naruto looked at him quizzically. "The fourth?"

"He's going to kill himself." Jiraya answered bluntly.

Naruto's eyes widened. "What? Why? Couldn't you stop him?"

Jiraya shot him a sharp look. "I tried, kid. You know what being in Root does to a person's psyche. Maybe if we had a team of Yamanaka mind-experts, we could reverse some of the brainwashing. As it is, we just don't have the resources."

Naruto grit his teeth, but didn't object. He really didn't like this new defeatist aspect of Jiraya's personality. If it were up to him, he would have knocked the guy out and brought him up to the surface. After all, every Konoha shinobi was important now. Not that they weren't valuable before, but... yeah. Unfortunately, the guy had probably already killed himself by now. Root shinobi weren't exactly big procrastinators.

"What about Sai?" He asked.

Jiraya shook his head. "All four were too old. There were plenty of bodies down there, but they were all wearing masks. Sai could be one of those, or he could be off on a mission somewhere. I don't know."

Naruto grimaced. Masks. Most of the ANBU on the surface had been wearing masks when they died. As a few of the remaining Konoha shinobi had discovered to their horror when they tried to remove them, the stone masks had fused to their faces, making identification impossible. It wasn't pleasant.

A thought struck him. "What about Danzo?"

The Sannin shook his head once again. "Dead. He died with his Root."

"Good." Naruto said.

There was a moment of silence.

"Good?" The Sannin asked, his voice deathly quiet.

Naruto nodded emphatically. "Good. I'm glad the bastard's dead."

"Listen. I appreciate that you don't agree with what he did, but I will not sit here and let you badmouth Danzo, Naruto." Jiraya's retorted, his voice hard.

Naruto looked at him in shock. "What? Ero-Sennin, do you know what that guy did? He forced Root members to kill each other in an initiation ritual!"

"I don't agree with his methods any more that you do, but that man has saved Konoha more that you could possibly know. If you had any idea of the number of threats he's protected Konoha from..." Jiraya replied darkly.

Naruto was passionate in his reply. "Danzo is a lowlife! Danzo is the reason that Yahiko died! Danzo is the reason that Itachi massacred his entire family!"

Jiraya leapt to his feet. "Do you think I don't know that? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to forgive that man? Every fiber of my being wants to hate that man, but I'm smart enough to see the bigger picture! Kid, Danzo saved Konoha from being like Kiri and Kumo used to be! He's the reason that we had the luxury of being 'nicer' than the other villages in our foreign affairs. The man was forced to make some of the darkest, most horrendous decisions imaginable, and he did it so that Sarutobi and the rest of Konoha wouldn't have to!"

Naruto was also on his feet. "The end don't justify the means! If Danzo hadn't done what he did Akatsuki might never have been formed! Sasuke would never have left Konoha! You can't tell me that's right!"

Jiraya was silent for a good moment. The Sannin turned away from Naruto, so that all that the former jinchuriki could see was his back.

Finally he spoke, voice much quieter than before. "The Shruiken Confederacy."

Naruto almost physically recoiled in confusion at the apparent non-sequitur "...What?"

Jiraya turned back to him, eyes intent. "The Shruiken Confederacy. Have you heard of them?"

"...Um, no, no I haven't." Naruto said bemusedly. "Why? What..."

"The Dark Reapers? The Fumiya Conspiracy? The Miraigakure Uprising?" Jiraya demanded. "The Garan Blades? Any of them?"

Naruto mutely shook his head.

"Prevent one calamity, allow a hundred others. All the names I've listed were groups or organizations which posed a direct and lethal threat towards Konoha's security. And all were dispatched quietly and efficiently by Root before they could act." Jiraya breathed out heavily. "You say that if Danzo hadn't given the order that he did, Sasuke wouldn't have left Konoha. You're assuming that the Uchiha and the rest of Konoha would have been able to reach a peaceful solution, correct?"

Naruto opened his mouth to voice his agreement, but Jiraya cut him off. "But what if they couldn't? What if the Uchiha rose up, and Konoha was turned into the battlefield for a civil war. Now sure, the village would probably survive. Hell, we'd win. If Itachi and that Tobi guy were able to take out the entire clan, I'm sure we'd be able to manage it. The physical and moral impact, though, would be beyond measure."

"Now, can you imagine what effect a dozen Uchiha rebellions would have on Konoha? Even if the village could survive, it would be changed beyond measure. At the very least, it would be ultra-militarized. Kid, without Danzo that's probably what would have happened. Those were the decisions he was faced with, day after day. The old man probably didn't even realize that his actions enabled Konoha to retain the softness he despised so much."

Naruto had been silent as Jiraya talked, but now he spoke up. "I can see what you're getting at, but it doesn't vindicate Danzo. In the end, there is no justification for the actions that that man took, even if it was for a good cause. I understand his motivations, but if I was Hokage I'd never allow something like that to happen."

"Well, I suppose it's good for master and student not to agree on everything." Jiraya said finally, sitting back down. "It could get you killed someday, but I hope you hold on to that idealism. We sure as hell have a need for it right now. Now, if you could demonstrate how far you've progressed with your chakra exercises?"

The tension faded from the tent, as if it had never been there. Naruto smiled and reached down to grab a pebble.

Suddenly, Jiraya gave a hiss and shot bolt upright. "Someone's triggered the seals I placed in the Hokage's office."

Naruto looked at him quizzically. "Are you sure that it's not just one of our group?"

The Sannin shook his head agitatedly. "No, I gave everyone strict orders to stay out of the Hokage's tower. Besides, it's 2 o'clock in the morning. It's someone else."

Naruto grimaced. Hopefully it would be a Konoha shinobi, but that seemed unlikely. If it was a returning leaf shinobi, then they'd almost certainly make contact with them at the front gate. Sneaking around the Hokage Tower, on the other hand, suggested an enemy agent.

Naruto and iraya hastened out of the tent and into the square beyond, Naruto stopping briefly to create a clone before he left. Most of the Konoha remnants were already asleep in tents they'd bought from the merchants. A group of shinobi who were still awake looked up at them as they exited the tent.

"Mitarashi, Yamato, Hyuuga, with me!" Jiraya ordered. "Namiashi, wake up the rest of the jonin, special jonin and chunin and have them put on guard duty."

The Sannin wasn't taking any chances. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Naruto couldn't help but imagine how much Shikamaru was going to hate this chunin rank receiving the order.

In any case, the Konoha shinobi obeyed Jiraya's orders without question, scrambling up to fulfill their appointed tasks. Anko, Tenzo and Ko moved into step with him and Jiraya, and the five of them took off through the darkened streets of Konoha.

"So what's the deal? Are we being invaded or something?" Anko demanded as they ran.

"We're not sure." Naruto replied. "Someone's in the Hokage's office. Hopefully it's one of our ninja."

Anko nodded. It was still possible. Since they'd discovered Kakashi, another ten or so Konoha ninja had stumbled in, two of them jonin.

Finally, they reached the Hokage Tower. Jiraya turned to Ko, who had activated his Byakugan.

The Hyuuga made hand signs, using the ANBU sign language. _'One person on roof.'_

Jiraya motioned for Tenzo and Ko to keep watch from the shadows, then gestured to Naruto and Anko. The three of them began stealthily chakra-walking up the exterior wall of the Tower, kunai at the ready.

Thirty seconds later, and they were at the top. The shinobi looked cautiously over the side of the tower roof, ready to dodge an incoming attack at any moment.

Naruto's eyes widened.

Standing in the moonlight, eyes fixed upon the sky and wind blowing through his dark hair, was the unmistakable form of Itachi Uchiha.

xXx

_(The Land of Rain)_

"This is fucking bullshit! Why the hell are we just hanging around here?"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't decapitated me then we could have actually killed him, un!"

Kisame just lay back in his puddle and relaxed, allowing Deidara's and Hidan's fight to just wash over him.

"It's your fault for falling for it! As if I'd ever ask for your help, you transvestite bitch!" Hidan yelled, waving his scythe over his head for emphasis.

"Next time I won't give it then, masochist asshole! If Jashin is so powerful and all, how was Pain able to smack you around so easily?" Deidara yelled back.

"I swear to Jashin, insult my religion again and I will beat you to death with your own arm!"

"Just try it, un!"

Kisame closed his eyes. The three of them had been conducting their shapeshift technique from a very pleasant area of forest, about a day's travel from Pein's city. They were in a little valley, completely hidden from the outside world by gigantic trees. The air was tranquil, the wildlife was extremely tasty even when eaten raw, and Kisame had dug himself a small hole and filled it with cool water. Simply wonderful.

Except, of course, for his companions. Immediately after their fight with Nagato had concluded, the two of them had started fighting, and didn't show any signs of stopping soon. Kisame missed Itachi. Maybe when the world of lies was destroyed he'd finally be able to get some peace and quiet.

In the meantime...

Reluctantly, Kisame sat up and addressed the other Akatsuki members. "Listen up. Nagato wasn't the leader of Akatsuki for nothing. He was able to handle all three of us without breaking a sweat. If you want to fight about it, do it somewhere else or I will eat you."

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "You eat people? I thought that was Zetsu's thing."

Kisame narrowed his eyes. "Don't tempt me."

"Please." Hidan scoffed. "If I had all my chakra, I could take the blaspheming fucker by myself."

Deidara snorted. "As if. Didn't you get killed by a chuunin?"

Hidan scratched his head. "What?"

Deidara reached up and rubbed his eyes. "Nevermind. I'm thinking of someone else."

Any response that Hidan or Kisame might have given was interrupted by the emergence of Zetsu from the trunk of one of the trees. Both sides of the plant-man were present.

The white half looked over the assembled Akatsuki members. "Congratulations on your successful mission."

Kisame couldn't quite tell if the thing was being sarcastic or not.

"**Tobi has decided that it's time we recruited some new members.**" Black Zetsu continued. "**Unfortunately, some of these people have grudges against Akatsuki in its current manifestation, so we've been sent to inform you of a few changes.**"

"Why the fuck do we need new members? Whatever comes up, I can handle it." Hidan stated, lazily swinging at the air with his scythe.

Black Zetsu shot Hidan a look. "**Akatsuki just lost its entire spy network, its seal expert, many of its bases and all of its finances in one sweep.**"

White Zetsu grinned. "Plus, the individuals we have in mind are significantly more powerful that you."

Hidan growled. Deidara laughed.

Kisame sighed. As fun as baiting Hidan was, Deidara and White Zetsu seemed to forget that he'd only been part of the organisation for about a week or so. If they pressed him too hard, he'd probably just walk out. That wasn't something that they could allow at this point. Which meant... Kami help him... He was going to have to pander to Hidan's ego.

"What are you laughing at, Deidara? At least Hidan has arms." The shark-man said loudly.

_Definitely_ not his best line, but it seemed to do the trick. Deidara stopped laughing, and Hidan looked smug.

"**First, get rid of your Akatsuki cloaks. They're far too infamous, and have a tendency to attract unwanted attention.**" Black Zetsu stated.

Deidara snickered. "Hidan, while I'm sure your current outfit would allow you to blend in with a nudist colony effortlessly, you might want to invest in some actual clothes, un."

Hidan snarled. "Shut the fuck up, you blonde bitch."

White Zetsu ignored them. "Second, we're changing the name of our organisation. We will henceforth be known as Ketsueki Yuuyake."

Kisame looked at him dubiously. "Blood Sunset? Really?"

Neither part of Zetsu responded to his question. Kisame sat back in his pool. Who knew that Tobi had such a maudlin streak? From Sunrise to Blood Sunset? The corniness of it all made Kisame want to hit something. Still, for a cause as important as his one, he could deal with a little banal sentimentalism.

"**Finally, all Akatsuki members will now travel in groups of three at all times.**" Black Zetsu said. "**Your new partners will be allocated later. For now, remain here. In two days, begin traveling to Kameki Village, in the Northern part of Fire Country. You'll recieve your next orders there.**"

Kisame resisted the urge to groan. Until that happened, he'd almost certainly be stuck with the art freak and the zealot. Being paired up with Deidara alone probably wouldn't be too bad, the bomber was usually fairly quiet and introverted unless you brought up art or Iwa. Kisame wasn't naturally a huge conversationalist, and had a fairly powerful dislike for small talk in general. Hidan, though, was as extroverted as he was irritating, and never stopped complaining or talking about his religion. Naturally this would set Deidara off, and the two would argue incessantly.

Zetsu faded back into the trees. Kisame closed his eyes once again and sank underneath the water's surface. The sounds of this companions were replaced by sweet, blissful silence. Kisame breathed out and watched as the bubbles from his mouth floated slowly to the surface, making it ripple.

Maybe his new partners would be more pleasant to work with. Kisame wondered who Tobi could possibly think of recruiting. Zetsu had claimed that they held a hatred towards Akatsuki, to the point where Tobi was willing to change the name of the entire organisation in order to gain their assistance. Certainly, Akatsuki had fallen into the bad graces of many, many people in the past. The thing was, most of those people had died soon afterwards.

Let's see... holds animosity towards Akatsuki... Likely not affiliated with a village... At least S-rank in ability... Potentially skilled at seals... Probable access to funds, resources or underlings.

That narrowed down the list considerably. Maybe there was a clue in their eventual destination. The Northern Part of Fire Country? Something to do with Konoha?

Realization struck him like a lightning bolt. Tobi had found someone who could restore almost everything they'd lost. Finances. A spy network. Mastery in both seals and combat, as well as an extensive series of bases and hideouts. An entire country's worth, in fact. Kisame gave a small, evil chuckle. If Tobi managed to pull this off, Nagato wouldn't know what hit him.

xXx

**I believe that, with over 5,000 words, this has been my biggest chapter yet. Hurray!**

**I'd be interested to see if you can guess who Tobi's new recruits are going to be. Right now, I have eight planned. Don't worry, none of them are OCs.**

**To all you people who reviewed saying that I'm portraying the characters accurately, that's possibly the most encouraging praise you could give! Cheers!**

**I'm kind of torn about what I should write next chapter about. On one hand, there's the whole Itachi-Konoha thing to deal with. If I go the other direction, the chapter will be titled "Tobi goes recruitin'". Does anybody care, or should I just go with whatever?**

**To ****Insanely-Yours96, it ****was the Fourth Kazekage who got sealed. Gaara's the Fifth, and he's juuust fine.**

**I'm tired and rambling now, so farewell!**

**Read and Review!**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Fool's Paradise

**17/2/2013 - 39 Reviews, 61 Favorites, 81 Followers**

**Disclaimer: That thing I said last chapter.**

**A/N: It seems like the Itachi confrontation was the preferred choice, so Itachi it shall be!**

**In response to** **crazywolf1991's question; no, Danzo's death does not mean that Shisui lives. In timeline terms, this story is taking place about half-way through Naruto's training trip. Shusui died just before the Uchiha massacre, a looooong time ago.**

Chapter Eleven: Fool's Paradise

xXx

_(Konoha - 5 years after the Night of Stone)_

"So you finally made it, huh? Hokage Naruto. It has a good ring to it."

Naruto chuckled nervously as he straightened his formal clothes for the dozenth time. He wasn't really a pomp and ceremony guy. Occasional snatches of speech that wafted into the small waiting room from time to time didn't help, either. Did all formal speeches have to be made up of big, fancy words like "unimpeachable"? He was going to have to make those things effectively _daily._

The corner of Sasuke's lip curved up. The Uchiha was leaning lazily against the wall, idly rolling a coin between the fingers of his left hand. "You're worried about the verbose nature of the speeches? Don't worry, I doubt they'll expect the same pleonastic pedantry of language from you. You've always been a fairly straight shooter when it comes to this sort of stuff. In fact, you should probably be commemorated on the overall potency of your communication style, seeing as it comes from someone with the vocabulary of a kindergartener."

There was no real malice in Sasuke's words. After Naruto had smacked him around, broken all his bones and dragged him back to Konoha, Sasuke had been confined to a hospital bed for several months as his broken body recuperated (Tsunade had ordered Konoha's medical ninja not to waste their time speeding up the process). With only one arm functioning properly, the number of potential means to stave off boredom had diminished exponentially and he'd taken to reading large quantities of literature, mostly dry non-fiction with a few classical novels mixed in. This often made him insufferable in casual conversation, as he would often slip obscure words into his statements for the pleasure of seeing the other person stumble. The first time he'd called Tsunade she looked neanimorphic, she'd nearly punched him. It was only Shikamaru's hastily interjection that it was a compliment that prevented the addition of another several months in the hospital.

Naruto shot him a deadpan look. "Ha, Ha. I get it, you read books. We're all deeply impressed with you, Sasuke."

As far as Naruto was concerned, though, Sasuke was free to flaunt his expanded lexicon (another world Sasuke had taken to using) over him any time he pleased. Considering that a few years ago Sasuke had been trying to wipe Konoha off the face of the Earth, making people feel uncomfortable and irritated by using big words was such a trivial act of villainy that it was almost funny. Not that he'd ever say that to Sasuke's face, though. Half the fun in banter came from one party getting riled up at the other's insults, even if both sides knew that they weren't really bothered by it.

Sasuke yawned. "You know, I've been considering retiring for a while. Seeing as you're being put in charge, now would probably be a good time to flee the country, don't you think? I can think of a whole lot of nations who'd accept me with open arms."

Naruto smirked. "Why don't you try? We both know that I'd just knock you out and drag your skinny Uchiha ass back to Konoha, don't we?"

"I guess relocating would be something of a pain. " Sasuke drawled. "Besides, with things how they are these days, they'd probably just chuck me back over the border. I guess I'll have to content myself with staying around and watching you run Konoha into the ground."

Naruto chuckled. "You would not believe the number of times that people have come up to me to make cracks about me bankrupting Konoha with ramen debt or changing the Konoha shinobi dress code to orange jumpsuits. That's what you and Shikamaru are for."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What, making sure that you don't kill us all with some crazy scheme?"

"Well that, and keeping those wannabe comedians from coming within a hundred meter radius of me. Seriously, those guys are obsessed. They literally will not shut up about my fashion sense." Naruto said with mild exasperation, running a hand through his hair.

"Hmm? I don't remember signing up for that." Sasuke said.

"It was in the small print." Naruto shot back.

"I always read the small print."

"The _really_ small print. Besides, this is your soon-to-be Hokage speaking. Stop being such an autolatrist, Sasuke." Naruto said, haughtily drawing himself up in a self-deprecating manner.

"An autolatrist; one who worships themselves. Yeah, I guess that fits me pretty well. Where did you pick that word up?" Sasuke asked.

"Please, you're not the only one who reads around here, Sasuke." Naruto answered dismissively.

Sasuke shot him an incredulous look.

"...I _maaaay _have asked Shikamaru." Naruto said, not hiding his smile.

Sasuke placed a hand on his head. "Do you know what? I don't think just fleeing the country is going to be enough. I think I'm going to have to leave the continent. Maybe I could head up to the Land of the Moon. Considering that we saved his country, I'd imagine that Michiru and Hikaru would be be more than happy to treat me in a way benefitting one of the two last Uchiha."

Naruto laughed. "Please, feel free to try! I'll tell the nurses to set aside a bed for the next eight months or so, just for you! If this ship goes down, you're going down with it."

Naruto went back to fixing his clothes, re-tucking in his shirt. The Land of the Moon, huh? Damn, that bought back memories. Aside from anything else, that had been his first ever encounter with petrification chakra. Plus, after all that rebellion stuff with the hilariously named Shabadaba was sorted out, he, Sakura and Sasuke had had one hell of a holiday. And then someone had accidentally slipped Sasuke a drink, and he'd smashed up a bar...

Wait. No, that wasn't right. It hadn't been Sasuke. _Lee_ had been the one to destroy that bar. It had been him, Sakura, Kakashi and Lee on that mission_._

Had he misheard? It was possible, he and Sasuke had been on an awful lot of missions together, quite a few to island nations. That had to be it.

Something Sasuke had said was bothering him, though. Sasuke had called himself one of the "two last Uchiha". But... no, it wasn't the words themselves that were concerning him, but the way that Sasuke had said them.

Sasuke had referred to himself as the "last Uchiha" before, but do it so flippantly? Sure, Sasuke had made a lot of progress, especially after reconciling with Itachi, but the fact remained that he'd lost almost his entire family, and been forced to watch them die hundreds of times over.

A horrific event like that left scars. To mention that he was one of the two survivors of his clan as part of a joke seemed... wrong. Almost like...

His train of thought was startled by a knock at the door. A second later, it was opened to reveal the spiky-haired head of Kotetsu.

Kotetsu looked him up and down, then nodded his approval. "Naruto. It's time."

Naruto nodded back, and Kotetsu withdrew, closing the door behind him.

Sasuke straightened out of his slouch and gave Naruto a rough pat on the shoulder. "Knock 'em dead, moron."

The two left the room and headed their separate ways; Sasuke towards the area where the crowd was gathered and Naruto towards the podium where he would accept his Kage-ship.

As he walked through the empty corridors, Naruto reflected on just how lucky he was. In the end, everything had turned out fine. The world was at peace. The people he cared about were all alive and healthy. All the villains from his past were either reformed or incarcerated for their crimes.

And it had been achieved without any casualties. It was almost unbelievable.

Naruto reached the door that lead outside, took a deep breath, and stepped out onto the great podium.

A thunderous applause greeted his appearance. The event organizers had really outdone themselves this time. The area outside Hokage Tower had been decorated with decorations of red, white and gold, huge paper lanterns as large as Naruto himself. The lanterns had just been lit, lighting up the Tower like a christmas tree in the evening sky. Behind the scenes, a pair of genjutsu experts were using their talents to create beautiful illusions on the walls of the tower; swirling gold spirals and odd shapes that were difficult to follow with the naked eye. A great wooden platform had been set up at the base of the Tower, upon which the ceremony was taking place. A great throng of humanity stood gathered next to the platform, applauding and shouting words of encouragement.

A rush of exhilaration set his body on fire. The time had come. His dreams had finally become a reality.

Naruto could see many familiar faces in the crowd. Sakura was in the front row, grinning and waving her hat. Sasuke slipped up behind her and whispered something, to which she started laughing hysterically. Standing a little further off were Team 8. Hinata was standing tall and proud, one of the most radiant smiles he'd ever seen lighting up her face. Kiba was grinning, while Akamaru seemed to be barking furiously. Shino was as unreadable as ever, but Naruto could swear that the guy was smiling under his coat.

Teams 9 and 10 were there too. The louder members were vociferously cheering him on, and even the more reserved ones were clapping.

At the back of the crowd stood Kabuto and Tobi, who was still masked. Like so many others, they'd turned out to be just lost souls in need of guidance. Tobi saw him looking and gave a small, respectful nod, which Naruto returned. After all, Konoha's resurrection after the Night of Stone would have been impossible without Kabuto's Edo Tensai and Tobi's experience with the Rinnegan.

Wait.

No, that couldn't be right.

If what he remembered from the Third Shinobi World War was correct, the use of Edo Tensai required biological tissue to work. Konoha's population had been turned to stone, there hadn't been any usable tissue left. And resurrecting people using the Rinnegan had to be done within a certain time period. And it had already been a several days since Konoha had...

Since Konoha had...

It was like his very mind was working against him, trying to divert him away from the line of thought that he was trying to follow.

It had been... him, Jiraya and Anko.

Konoha had been destroyed not a week earlier.

They'd gone to investigate the Hokage Tower.

They'd reached the roof.

And... Itachi Uchiha had been there.

Anko had dashed forward with a kunai, not waiting for orders.

Itachi had jumped, as if startled.

He'd turned, and his eyes had turned red.

Eyes... Red... Sharingan...

Genjutsu!

He stopped mid-pace, right in the center of the stage. At the other side of the platform, Tsunade looked at him with confusion. "Naruto, what are you doing?"

Naruto ignored her. This world was wrong. Everywhere he looked, there were mistakes. Some of the faces in the crowd were off; Gaara, A, Mei and Onoki were all there, as well as many of their subordinates whom Naruto had met. Naruto was an optimist, but he wasn't quite that naive. A Kage Summit was one thing, but the leaders of every major village couldn't just all take a week off to come and watch the inauguration of the Hokage.

There were others, too. Moegi had died during the Night of Stone. He'd seen Shino's corpse himself! Hayate had died years ago, yet he was just standing there!

Every time he spotted an error, his brain would try to rationalize it, ripping and tearing at reality and history like some vicious clawed monster. The world was at peace, the other Kages wanted to pay their respects to the man who had made peace possible in the first place. Naruto didn't really understand the true nature of Edo Tensai, or the Rinnegan. No one had died because he'd saved them. They couldn't be dead, they were standing right there!

Naruto turned away from the crowd, trying to alter his chakra flow in order to break the genjutsu. It was more difficult than usual. His chakra was sluggish, trying to alter its movements was like trying to swim through treacle.

Tsunade was beckoning him. To her left stood the Sandaime, giving him an encouraging smile. To her right was his father, who was mouthing something he couldn't make out. His father...

Enough was enough. Screw it.

Naruto pulled a kunai out of his emergency pouch, drew it back, and drove it deep into his arm.

There was a red flash of pain, a spurt of blood and the world around him vanished in an instant.

He was back on the petrified stone rooftop of the Hokage Tower. It was a clear night, the dark shadows of the tower pooling like some jet-black liquid under the dim luminescence of the stars. Standing across from him, as if carved from stone, was the still figure of Itachi Uchiha. The Uchiha had lost his Akatsuki cloak, and was wearing a simple set of black clothes. His eyes were still crimson with the dark gleam of the Sharingan, his face absolutely inscrutable.

For a long time, the two of them just stood there, gazes locked. A warm wind blew up from the north, softly rustling their clothes and making Itachi's dark hair dance in the wind.

Finally, Naruto broke the silence. "I remember the future."

Itachi's quiet response gave no clue as to his thoughts. "I suspected as much."

"Tsunade..."

The soft murmur attracted Naruto's attention to his two allies. To his left was Anko, frozen mid-way through her headlong charge towards Itachi. To his right stood Jiraya. The man was staring into empty space, a single hand outstretched and grasping at the air as if reaching for something. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were moist and red-rimmed.

That was bad. Under normal circumstances, Jiraya would have recognized and dispelled the genjutsu immediately. It was all to easy to identify the emotion on the Sannin's face as a desperate, piteous hope. Grief had wormed it's way into Jiraya's heart, and it was compromising him as a shinobi.

There would be hell to pay when he escaped the genjutsu. It would be like loosing Tsunade a second time.

A movement from Anko caught his attention. The woman was fishing around in her trenchcoat, eventually pulling out a pair of dark sunglasses and covering her eyes.

Anko looked up at Itachi and laughed darkly. "Nice try, Uchiha. Orochimaru took that future away from me loooong ago."

"You believe a pair of sunglasses could protect you from my genjutsu?" Itachi asked, voice flat and empty. Aside from the movements of his mouth, the man still hadn't moved a muscle.

Anko grinned. "Nope, but they'll prevent _you_ from knowing where _I'm_ looking. Now, are you ready to tango?"

The woman moved into one of the stances of a taijutsu style, only to be stopped when Naruto lifted a restraining arm in front of her.

"Stop. He's one of us." He said.

Anko shot him a bewildered look. "One of us?"

"Yes. Itachi is a Konoha shinobi." Naruto replied softly.

"No, genin, he _was_ one of us." Anko growled, more than a hint of anger in her voice. "Then he murdered his entire family in cold blood. At that point, he stopped being one of us and became a mass-murdering traitor who was to be killed on sight. Get the difference?"

Naruto shook his head. "Itachi didn't murder his family in cold blood."

He looked at Itachi, who had not responded to his statement. "He was ordered to do it by Konoha's leaders, and he did so to prevent the village from falling into a civil war."

Anko looked at him like he'd spouted a second head. "What?"

Any reaction Naruto might have had was interrupted by a quiet, almost whisper-like utterance from Jiraya.

"Kai."

Naruto turned to look at his mentor. Like Itachi, Jiraya had gone completely still. His hands were clenched into fists, and Naruto could see a thin trail of blood running down from his left palm. His eyes were burning with an intense cold fury that he'd never seen in Jiraya before. They were the eyes of a killer.

For the second time ever, Naruto was afraid of his mentor.

"You... used... her."

If Jiraya's tone had been hard before, now it was like a frozen diamond. Jiraya was looking the Itachi directly in the eye, as if daring him to attempt another genjutsu.

Naruto reached out a hand towards his shoulder. "Ero-Sennin..."

An instant before Naruto's hand met cloth, Jiraya charged forward towards Itachi. It was a clumsy assault, but to Naruto's surprise, Itachi didn't dodge. Jiraya grabbed him roughly by the front of his shirt, lifting him off the ground. The Uchiha didn't even bat an eyelid.

Jiraya's face was inches from Itachi's own. "You _dare _to use her like that? You dare dishonour her memory? I should rip you apart!"

"It was a standard pleasure genjutsu. Your own mind provided the details." Itachi's reply was disinterested, almost mechanical.

Jiraya gave a bestial growl. Itachi continued to monotone an explanation, as if repeating word-for-word what he'd read from some textbook. "The genjutsu targets the dopamine centers of the brain. It brings to life the target's most heartfelt desires and yearnings, temporarily disabling them. This genjutsu proves particularly effective against targets that have recently lost a close friend or loved one..."

With a roar of anger, Jiraya flung Itachi down at the stone floor of the tower. Itachi landed hard, making no attempt to brace himself against the impact.

Naruto darted forward, placing himself between the two. "That's enough."

"Get out of my way. Now." Jiraya snarled at him.

Naruto stood his ground. "No."

"Blondie! Explain what's going on!" Anko demanded.

Jiraya stepped forward, kunai in hand. "Move."

Naruto matched his movement, stepping up so that he was directly in front of the Sannin. "No. You're being stupid, Jiraya."

Jiraya's eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. "Stupid?"

"Yes. Stupid." Naruto replied firmly. "Don't you remember what you said to me when you were trying to justify Danzo's atrocities? That you were 'smart enough to see the bigger picture'? What happened to that, huh? I'm sorry for what happened, but it was your mind that came up with that illusion, not Itachi's. Isn't that right, Itachi?"

Itachi hadn't moved from where he'd landed. He wasn't even watching the confrontation, he was just staring up at the sky with hollow eyes. "That's correct. It was an instinctive reaction on my part upon being startled."

They really had startled him? They'd startled Itachi Uchiha, the S-class badass who always slept with one eye open? That seemed odd. Still, one problem at a time.

"How many times have you told me to calm down and look at the situation logically?" Naruto continued, moving even closer to Jiraya. "Now it's my turn. You're letting your emotions control you, and you're acting irrationally. Back. Off."

Jiraya was silent a long time. Finally, he stepped backwards, much of the tension dropping from his powerful frame. "I never thought I'd see the day where it was you telling me that I was letting my emotions get the better of me. Fine. You're right."

His eyes were back to normal. Naruto breathed a silent sigh of relief. He was well aware that, in his current state, he stood no chance against his mentor if it came down to a physical confrontation.

Anko stepped up next to them. "Yeah, yeah, that's really great. Now tell me, what the hell is happening? What was all that about a civil war?"

It was Itachi who spoke up, such detached apathy that he could have been discussing the weather. "My clan were planning a military coup against Konoha's leaders. I was ordered to eliminate them before this could take place. That's all."

Anko rounded on Naruto and Jiraya. "And you seriously believe this traitor's cock-and-bull story?"

Naruto nodded. "As sure as I am of anything. Trust me, he's telling the truth."

Anko eyed him suspiciously. "...Fine. I don't like it, but it seems like something the Uchiha could have tried to pull. If I'm going to take this story on face value, then I suppose that him joining this Akatsuki group was just a ruse too, huh?"

From his position on the ground, Itachi reached into a pocket and pulled out a small scroll which he tossed to Naruto, still not taking his eyes off the sky. "This was meant for the Hokage. I believe it will answer all your questions."

Naruto flicked the scroll open and began to read. Anko and Jiraya crowded around him, and did the same. All three's eyes widened at reading the contents.

Naruto grinned. "You've destroyed that Outer Path statue thing? That's fantastic! Akatsuki won't know what hit it!"

Anko's reply was a little more harsh. "Seriously? _Time-travel? _What sort of morons do you think we are?"

"You stand within the petrified ruins of an entire village, special-jonin Mitarashi." Jiraya retorted. "Do you really believe that stranger things aren't possible?"

Naruto nodded "Itachi is telling the truth. I should know, I came back at the same time."

Anko turned on him. "Then why didn't you predict that this was going to happen? Why didn't you stop this."

She gestured at the dead village around them.

Naruto sighed. "Because this didn't happen last time around."

"Well then, it seems like this only happened because you came back! That means you two are responsible for the destruction of Konoha!" Anko accused.

Jiraya pinned her with a hard glare. "In the future they came from, you and I are dead and the plan on the scroll is about to become reality. You don't get to blame them for this, Mitarashi. Besides, we're still not sure what caused this. We believe that other people were brought back too. All we know for sure is that some of Konoha's ninja were infected with petrification chakra."

Naruto noticed that Jiraya had omitted the fact that the Kyuubi was missing from his seal and that the petrification chakra had likely come from a bijuu. For that he was thankful. If she knew, Anko might reach some unpleasant conclusions.

"I died? How?" Anko demanded.

Jiraya sighed. "This will be easier if you get the whole story. Naruto, have a clone give her a full account. We need to discuss some things with Itachi."

Jiraya turned back to Anko. "What Naruto is about to tell you is above top secret, got it?"

Anko nodded. Naruto summoned a clone, and the two moved off to another part of the rooftop to talk.

Jiraya looked at Itachi. "What do you believe Akatsuki's response to these events will be?"

"That depends on how many of them were bought back to the past with us." Itachi replied tonelessly. "I met Nagato after my future resurrection, and if he was bought back with us then Akatsuki is probably going to dissolve into internal conflict, at least for the short term. Tobi will probably be able to lure most of Akatsuki's members into his corner, including Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu. Konan will stay with Nagato, and Sasori is something of a wild card. In the longer term, Tobi is going to have to find a substitute bijuu container for the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path, and that's going to take time. Seeing as Konoha doesn't exist anymore, they may use the resulting chaos to make a grab for the Kyuubi."

There was a short silence.

"Not all of Konoha was destroyed by the petrification chakra." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head. "There aren't many of us, but Konoha lives on."

"Is that so." Itachi replied disinterestedly.

"And..." Naruto swallowed. "The Kyuubi's gone. I'm not a jinchuriki any longer."

That one actually made Itachi turn his head and look at him for a second, right before he went back to looking up at the stars with those disturbingly empty black orbs. "Hn."

What the hell was wrong with Itachi? Sure, the Uchiha had always held something of an aura of detachment, but now he was acting like he didn't care whether he lived or died. Hell, you could try and stab him with a kunai and Itachi probably wouldn't even resist. He certainly hadn't seemed concerned at being manhandled by Jiraya. It was like the man had just... shut down.

He could imagine this behavior coming from someone else, but this was Itachi Uchiha, one of the most stoic people in existence. This was the man who had killed his entire family to prevent a civil war and not displayed a hint of remorse or grief to anyone, despite the fact that it must have been tearing him up inside. This was the man who misled the person he cared about most in the entire world into loathing him with his entire being. Itachi had assumed a role the man must have despised for over a decade, and he'd done so without a hint of self-pity.

But that was exactly what had happened. Itachi had shut down, and Naruto thought he had a pretty good idea why. In every case, Itachi had been able to do the horrific things he had done out of a belief that his actions were for the greater good. Protecting Sasuke, protecting Konoha, assuming the role of the villain so that other people wouldn't have to.

Itachi had loved his family, of that Naruto was certain. He could hardly imagine a worse torture than being forced to kill the people he loved. And Itachi had done it, because it was the only way to save the people of Konoha from a slaughter, either during the conflict or at the hands of a rival village that a divided Konoha couldn't hold off.

And now, Itachi had come back to find that Konoha, and all its people, was dead. And all those sacrifices, all those terrible, harrowing decisions he had made for the greater good had been pointless. He had slaughtered his family to save Konoha, and it had been for nothing. He had made the person he loved most hate him, and it had been for nothing. He'd been universally reviled, loathed by the people he was trying to protect for most of his adult life, and it had been for nothing.

Everything he had done was worthless.

His whole world, his reason for being, had collapsed, and Itachi had retreated deep within himself.

That was not something that Naruto was going to tolerate. Itachi was one of the strongest, most selfless people he'd ever come across, and he'd be damned if the man was just going to give up like this.

"Itachi. Get up."

Jiraya raised an eyebrow at the commanding tone of Naruto's voice. Itachi just looked at him, then returned his gaze to the stars.

Naruto strode over to Itachi and stood over him, blocking his view of the sky. "Get up."

Apparently realizing that Naruto wasn't going to move until he did, Itachi slowly got to his feet. The man's posture was hunched, and he looked at Naruto with dead eyes.

"Listen up, Itachi. If there's anyone in this world who deserves time for grieving, it's you. I can't imagine the things that you've had to do, and I'm not going to pretend that I can. But, now is _not_ the time. Sasuke is still out there. He's still in danger, and we're the only ones who can or will protect him. Do you understand me?" Naruto demanded.

Itachi just stared back at him vacantly.

"Don't pretend like you don't care!" Naruto continued. "I wasn't lying when I said that Konoha lives on! There are still several hundred of us left! And we're only here because of you! Your actions weren't worthless, Itachi!"

That seemed to get Itachi's attention. The Uchiha drew in a sharp breath at his last statement. Naruto smiled internally. His emotional diagnosis had been right.

"Without you, Konoha would have been destroyed over five years ago! Those years weren't meaningless! Five years of peace, of life! Konoha doesn't refer to its buildings, it refers to its people! The Will of Fire burns on, Itachi, and your brother still needs your help!" Naruto continued

His face was still blank, but there was a little bit of light returning to the Uchiha's eyes.

Naruto's words were filled with that boundless passion that had inspired so many before. "Together, we can stop Sasuke from going down the path of darkness! We can save him together, you and me! And you know better than anyone what Tobi plans for this world! He needs to be stopped, and I can't do it alone! We need you, Itachi!"

When Naruto's diatribe finished, Itachi drew in a long, shaky breath, then breathed out and gave a small nod. In an instant, the old, inscrutable Itachi was back.

The Uchiha straightened out of his slouch. "Fine. You're correct, it appears that my role is not yet over. My brother is still out there, and I would appreciate your assistance in retrieving him and setting him on the correct path.

Naruto smiled. "And you'll get it. Whether you want it or not."

Jiraya stepped forward. "Of course, we're now left with a decision to make. Do we tell the rest of the survivors the truth about Itachi?"

"Hold on, hold on!"

Having finished receiving the shadow clone's account of the events of the future, Anko was striding over towards them, an incredulous look on her face. The clone leapt off the side of the building, looking for somewhere it could dispel without killing someone with the resulting discharge of wind blades.

The woman stopped next to Jiraya, placing her hands on her hips. "Let me get this straight. If what that clone just told me is true, then Itachi here has been a loyal Konoha shinobi pretending to be a traitor for almost a decade. In some shady, pussy-ass scheme to stop Konoha's top brass from looking bad, he's been ostracized and hunted non-stop and had his name smeared through the mud. And now, even after said top brass are all dead, you want to keep doing it?"

Jiraya nodded. "It's one of the possible courses of action, yes. If the survivors were to learn that the old regime sanctioned something like that, the moral impact could be devastating."

"I see. Well, here's my response." Anko replied, the anger clear in her voice. "Fuck. That. Shit."

Jiraya's eyebrows knitted together. "Excuse me?"

Anko leered at him. "You heard me. Fuck it. I am not going to stand around and let you pile more crap onto this guy. The man's a fucking hero, and the world should know it. Don't you get it? The old Konoha is dead. Stuff like maintaining an image of niceness doesn't matter anymore. Screwing over the living to protect the dead is the type of sleazy shit that makes people hate politicians in the first place."

"Calm down, we haven't decided anything yet." Jiraya retorted.

Anko smiled nastily. "Yes we have. I'm going to tell the rest of the survivors the truth. You can either let me, or you can knock me out and keep me permanently bound and gagged for the rest of my life. We both know you can't afford to loose any more Konoha shinobi. The choice is yours, Sannin."

For the first time that day, Itachi's face wasn't a blank slate. The corner of his lips quirked up into a small smile. "Thank you, special-jonin Mitarashi."

She flashed him a grin. "Call me Anko."

"I agree with what Anko said." Naruto said resolutely.

Jiraya raised his hands in the air. "For Kami's sake, stop trying to make me into the bad guy here! I don't like this whole cover-up thing any more than you guys do. I just felt that we should look at all the potential ramifications before we rushed into anything. What do you think, Itachi?"

"The idea of dropping this unpleasant facade is a tempting one, to say the least." Itachi said dryly. "It would be a pleasantly novel experience to not have Konoha shinobi trying to kill me on sight."

Anko raised her hands to shoulder height, looking first to Jiraya and then to Naruto. "Well, I guess that settles it. The truth it is."

xXx

The revealing of the truth behind the Uchiha Massacre could have gone worse.

The revelation that the kind and friendly Konoha government could have sanctioned such a massacre was a shock to the system of many of the listeners, especially for the civilians. For the shinobi, who had a much more realistic perception of the way that the world worked, it was much less surprising. The initial shouts of disbelief had quickly faded as the universally respected Jiraya of the Sannin had stepped up to explain the details of the situation five years ago. Now everyone had accepted the truth of the events behind the loss of the Uchiha, though many had trouble reconciling it with their personal worldview.

One of the returned genin had actually just turned and walked out of Konoha upon hearing the truth, as had a few of civilians. Overall, though, there was a surprisingly small amount of drama. Anko suspected that everyone was still so emotionally drained from the Night of Stone that it just didn't really impact on them that much.

Itachi hadn't said a word during Jiraya's testimony. He'd just sat there quietly and let events take their course.

Currently, she, Itachi, Jiraya, Naruto and Ko were back in the medical tent that contained Kakashi and those two mist ninja. Naruto was demonstrating how his chakra exercises were resulting in the destruction of whatever unfortunate object he turned his attention upon.

Ko activated his Byakugan for a second. "I think I see the problem. Your chakra system is repairing itself at an accelerated rate, and that means that your chakra is constantly shifting. If you want the result I believe you're aiming for, you'll need an extended period of time where your chakra system remains constant."

Naruto scratched his head. "Can't we just wait 'till it's all fixed up and back to normal?"

Jiraya shook his head. "You need to get some measure of control over it while your chakra output's still small, kid. If we wait until your system is fully repaired, you might be stuck with this level of control permanently."

Itachi placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I believe I can help. Naruto, look at me."

Naruto turned to him, and Itachi's eyes glowed with the crimson colour of the Mangekyo Sharingan. Immediately, Naruto stiffened, then slumped into his chair..

Ko started to get to his feet, only to be stopped by a restraining arm from Anko.

Four seconds later, and Naruto straightened in his chair, face expressionless and stony. The blonde stretched out a hand to one of the pebbles on the table, and made a flicking motion with his finger.

Immediately, the pebble flew through the air and clocked Jiraya across the head.

Naruto's face morphed into a happy grin. "Behold the results of three days of intensive, non-stop chakra control training!"

"I hope you know you're going to pay for that, brat!" Jiraya growled good-naturally.

Naruto pointed all ten of his fingers towards the table. Immediately, ten pebbles took flight and began floating around Naruto's head. "Make me."

Jiraya leapt to his feet and fled out of the tent. Laughing, Naruto chased after him, pebbles flying through the air after him.

Ko raised an eyebrow. "Is that really appropriate?"

Anko gave him a playful shove. "Oh, come off it! I think we're all in need of little cheer, let them find it where they can get it."

She turned to Itachi. "There's one thing I don't get though. A genjutsu is just an illusion, how can you possibly use it to train someone?"

"Chakra control is a purely mental discipline. In layman's terms, it's 'all in your head'. Therefor, practicing it within a high-level genjutsu like Tsukuyomi is equal, or perhaps slightly less, effective than using it in reality. If you were to, say, try and increase your physical strength or chakra capacity by practicing it in a genjutsu, you would be disappointed." Itachi answered.

Anko nodded understandingly, and was silent for about ten seconds.

Then a thought struck her. "Hey. I've got this... uh... fire jutsu that I've been working on, and it's been driving me nuts. I can't really practice it around here, so is there are chance you could... y'know...?"

"No. I can't. I only used the Tsukuyomi on Naruto because he needed a means to gain control over his altered chakra." Itachi responded.

Anko pouted. "C'mon, it'll take like four seconds. We aren't that short on time."

Itachi sighed. "Every time I use that jutsu, I draw closer to blindness. I have been blind before and I do not wish to be so again. Do you want me to become blind, Anko?"

Anko shook her head. "...No."

Itachi nodded. "Good."

They both sat in silence, content to listen to the sounds of Naruto's and Jiraya's madcap chase.

xXx

_(One day later)_

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Itachi? I know that you're impatient to get Sasuke back, but..." Jiraya's words trailed off.

Itachi gave a short nod. "I understand. Orochimaru can't take over Sasuke's body for at minumum the next year and he'll do whatever it takes to keep Sasuke alive and healthy until that time. Sasuke will be safe until then, at least. I will do as you've asked."

The two of the were standing just outside Konoha's front gate. It was just past three o'clock in the morning, and most of the shinobi and civilians were asleep. The sky was overcast, and there was very little light. Naruto was keeping watch. The blonde had already given his farewells to the quiet Uchiha.

It was better that way. What Jiraya had proposed could prove a devastating strategy against Akatsuki, but it would only work if no one knew where he was or what he was doing. The odds were slim, but it wasn't impossible that one of the civilians or shinobi who had returned to Konoha was a spy for some other group.

Itachi reached into his pocket. "Here. This may prove useful to you."

He flicked Jiraya his Akatsuki ring. The Sannin caught it, then nodded his thanks.

After that, there was nothing more to say. Jiraya turned and walked back through the great stone gates of Konoha. Itachi gave his village one last glance, then turned and walked off into the darkness.

Alone once more.

xXx

He hadn't been walking more than fifteen minutes when the sound of light footfalls caught his attention.

Someone was running. And the sound was coming from the direction of Konoha.

Itachi pulled out a kunai. Had Jiraya or Naruto realized that they had forgotten to inform him of something? Was it someone from the village who still bore a grudge against him?

A figure appeared in the gloom. That figure quickly morphed into the running form of Anko Mitarashi. The woman didn't seem to be running _from _anything, in fact, she seemed rather excited about something.

Anko skidded to a halt in front of him, then gave him a salute. "Special-jonin Anko Mitarashi, reporting for duty!"

The woman's loud cheers made for an interesting contrast with the absolute silence of the surrounding forests. Itachi gave her a once-over. Anko was dressed for long-distance travelling, with a set of supply scrolls clipped to her belt and a small backpack almost hidden under her trenchcoat.

"Did Jiraya send you?" Itachi asked.

"Sort off..." Anko replied, grinning ruefully.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Sort of?"

"He didn't physically try to stop me."

"You seem to use that logic a lot."

"What can I say, it works." Anko replied airily.

"I don't need your assistance." Itachi said, turning away. "Go back to Konoha, Anko."

Anko moved into step with him. "C'mon, everyone needs back-up, even the great Itachi Uchiha."

Itachi didn't look at her. "Are aware of the nature of the task Jiraya has given me? It's not one suitable for those light of heart."

"Yeah, I know what you're doing." Anko replied. "I heard a couple of snitches of your conversations, and figured out the rest myself. Trust me, I've steeled myself. You'll want the help. Besides, once you're done you'll be gunning for Orochimaru, won't you? You won't find many people who know that bastard's mind better than me."

Itachi didn't respond. Anko sighed. "Look, you won't have to babysit me. I can look after myself in a fight, and I can be pretty damn stealthy when I want to be. Don't do this alone, Itachi. I think we both know you're sick of it."

Itachi turned back to her. "You're trying to psychoanalyze me?"

"Accept the help where you can get it, Uchiha. I know plenty of guys who'd give their right arm to go on a mission with me."

Itachi gave another sigh. Most of what Anko was saying made sense; it was always useful to have back-up around, even if just to take watch as you slept. If she proved too much of a liability, he could just knock her out and have a shadow clone take her back in the direction of Konoha.

Besides, as much as he disliked admitting it, traveling became more palatable when you had a partner.

"You can stay." He said finally.

Anko let out a whoop, punching her fist into the air. "All right! Now, which one are we going for first?"

"We're heading to the Eastern coast of Fire Country. Marogi Cove, to be exact." Itachi answered.

"Marogi Cove..." Anko thought about it for a second, then her face lit up in recognition. "But that was where..."

"Yes. That was where the Gambit of Swords took place. We should get there pretty quickly if we move fast. I'm about to increase my speed. Are you prepared?"

Anko laughed. "I was born prepared."

Itachi's slow walk became a headlong charge into the night. Anko ran after him keeping pace.

The two disappeared together into the darkness, leaving only silence and a confused night-owl in their wake.

xXx

**This time, it was 7,000+ words. Take that, me of ten days ago!**

**Gah, there are so many subplots I need to keep straight in my head! There's the situation in Konoha, Tobi's attempts to keep his organisation together, that shinding with Kimmimaro, stuff happening over in Suna and Kiri, Nagato over in Ame, Konan and Kakuzu's future confrontation with Jiraya and Naruto, stuff with that guy on the mountain, Zabuza and Haku waking up, Sasori slinking around in the background and now Itachi and Anko's mission. Plus, the political ramifications for the world as a whole. I'm terrified I'm going to forget something and send this story falling headlong into a plot hole.**

**As Chaos Productions so wisely pointed out in his review, this isn't a story where the protagonists are going to be able to 'fix' everything. There are already plenty of stories out there, thousands of them. If Nagato just rolled in and resurrected everyone, then this would probably just morph into a standard Konoha vs Akatsuki tale. Not that there's anything wrong with those stories, of course, but I'm aiming for something a little different here.**

**If anyone's interested in such things, my first idea for this story was very different to what I've got going on here. My memories of it the specifics are a little foggy, but it was some sort of madcap crossover between Naruto and D-Grey Man. If I recall correctly, the time reset resulted in a whole lot of both protagonists and antagonists from D-Grey Man being bought over to everybody's favorite shinobi land. Also, instead of Iwa, Konoha and Kumo being destroyed, the entire top half of the world map was turned into some sort of inhospitable malignant-chakra infected wasteland, resulting in a major power upheaval. I probably could have made it work but I'm glad I went down the route that I did.**

**It was suggested that it could be a good idea to get a beta reader. My update schedule is erratic (to say the least) and it's probably going to slow right down when I go back to university (which is imminent), but if anyone is interested then it would be greatly appreciated. Believe me, I know the value of correct spelling and grammar.**

**Oh yeah, I rewrote the story summary. Seeing as a large proportion of the story is going to be focusing on his actions (and tortures), I also switched character 2 from Akatsuki to Tobi. **

**We're still deep within the talky, angsty phase. Don't worry, we'll hit the combat phase eventually. I have some interesting stuff planned for the future.**

**You would not believe how motivating the reviews I've got have been. Heartfelt thanks to you all.**

**Read and Review!**


	12. Chapter Twelve: Advanced Countermeasures

**11/3/2013 - 63 Reviews, 78 Favorites, 93 Followers**

**A/N: Well, the feedback that I've got from reviews seems to follow along the following lines: I've got an interesting writing style, good characterization and a clever plot that people seem to like. On the flip side, the story itself is somewhat convoluted and people sometimes have trouble following what's going on. Does that about summarize it?**

**Speaking of summaries, it was suggested that it could be a good idea to give a summary of what has occurred in the story thus far, seeing as I have an erratic update schedule. Here goes:**

**- Tobi won the war **

**- The sealing went wrong**

**- A whole lot of people got sent back in time. These included: Naruto, Tobi, Itachi, Nagato, Kakuzu, Deidara, Sasori, Shikamaru, Asuma, Kakashi, Zabuza, Haku, Gaara, Chiyo, Hanzo, Kushimaru and Kimmimaro, **

**- The Kyuubi detonated a Bijudama within itself during this process.**

**- For reasons unknown, Konoha, Iwa and Kumo were destroyed during this process. The status of Suna and Kiri are unknown.**

**- For various reasons, Nagato, Konan, Itachi, Sasori and Kakuzu all abandoned Akatsuki. **

**- Naruto and Jiraya found that Zabuza and Haku had been resurrected**

**- Kimimaro woke up to find himself alive, and set about trying to hunt down Sasuke and Kabuto (not realizing that he is in the past)**

**- Naruto and Jiraya got back to Konoha to find that it had been destroyed. The survivors (people who weren't there at the time) are currently deciding on their next course of action.**

**- Itachi destroyed the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path, as well as the Hashirama clone.**

**- Sasori's actions beyond abandoning Akatsuki are unknown**

**- Kakashi was found alive in the petrified Konoha**

**- Konan and Kakuzu are traveling to Konoha to establish contact with Naruto**

**- Nagato turned that frown upside down, and also smacked around substitutes of Kisame, Hidan and Deidara.**

**- Tobi wants to recruit some new members, and changed the name of his organisation**

**- MANY people are dead**

**- Itachi came back to Konoha, had a minor breakdown, then went off with Anko on an unknown mission. Eventually, he plans to retrieve Sasuke from Orochimaru**

**- Gaara's actions are unknown**

**- Chiyo's actions are unknown.**

**Did that help? Yeah, it's fairly complicated.**

Chapter Twelve: Advanced Countermeasures

xXx

_(Shirokuma Trail - Eastern Region of Fire Country)_

When trying to comprehend the nature of the shinobi villages of the Elemental Nations, it is important to consider very rarely were these villages completely independent political entities.

Just like anyone else, shinobi need to eat. And because of this, all of the most powerful shinobi villages had a network of civilian villages under their control who provided for their basic needs.

In order for a shinobi village to elevate itself to greatness, it required a large network of civilian settlements to provide food, goods and taxes. After all, it was hard to kill on an empty stomach.

Fire Country was littered with them. It was one of these tiny, backwater villages that Itachi and Anko were heading into now.

The weather had taken a turn for the worse since their travels had began, and now they were caught in one of the biggest storms that Anko had ever experienced. Great forks of white lightning flashed across the sky, accompanied by deafening explosions of thunder. The torrential downpour from the heavens was caught up by the furious winds and transformed into flicking whips of water that lashed painfully against her exposed skin. Her clothes were saturated with moisture and the damp collar of her trenchcoat chafed painfully against the skin of her neck. Her feet became caked with sticky mud, the open-air sandals providing no barrier against the soft, squishy earth.

Naturally, the eternally perfect Itachi Uchiha did not seem irritated by the rain at the least. Bastard.

"Why are we turning in here?" She yelled at him, having to raise her voice to shouting level just to make herself heard over the rain. "Marogi Cove is further east, why are we going south?"

Itachi turned his head to look at her.

"We're making a detour." He answered, voice quiet yet somehow still audible over the storm. Seriously, how did he do that?

"Where to?"

"A civilian village."

Anko opened her mouth to ask another question, but Itachi made the hand signal for stealth and she remained silent. They were entering unfamiliar territory, and the Uchiha clearly didn't want to risk making their presence known.

They'd stopped for about half an hour to apply travel disguises. Because certain sensor ninja could detect the use of a henge, Itachi had decided that they should utilize more conventional disguises. One judicious aplication of make-up and hair-dye later and Anko was now a platinum blonde with a slightly widened face and distinctive sky-blue eyes, while Itachi was now a brunette with a distinctive scar running down his left cheek. The blue contact lenses were irritating her eyes and only added to her discomfort. Naturally, both had removed their headbands.

It was another five minutes before they reached the village proper. It was a tiny affair, a backwater, agriculture-based village that could only have housed, at most, three-hundred people. Certainly, there was nothing that immediately stood out as relevant to their mission. Anko had no idea what Itachi could possibly hope to gain from such a tiny settlement.

Seeing as it was just past midnight and pouring with rain, the village's main street was unsurprisingly completely deserted. The two shinobi slipped through the dark shadows, edging around the outskirts of the village.

Finally, Itachi seemed to find what he was looking for. Anko paused for a second in bewilderment.

Located right on the edge of the settlement was a small, flat field, filled with crude stone markings. A graveyard.

With no chance of anyone else hearing, Anko thought it safe to ask Itachi a question. "Is there someone important buried here?"

Itachi kneeled in front of one of the graves, examining the marker. "No. This village has never produced any shinobi of note."

Anko tried to partially shield herself from the freezing rain by moving underneath a small tree at the edge of the cemetery. It didn't really work. "Then what are we doing here? Powerful shinobi are one thing, but violating civilian graves is kind of..."

It wasn't that she was squeamish. It's was just... violating someone's final resting place wasn't something that should be done lightly. It was disrespectful to the dead, and to do so without any real purpose was a little too Orochimaru-like for her tastes.

Itachi looked up at her. "You are under no obligation to stay. If disturbing the graves of non-combatants violates some ethical principal you hold, feel free to depart."

"Hmm. No, I've seen much worse." Anko replied. "Just take me through your reasoning, why don't ya?"

Itach's turned to look at her. "Edo Tensai is an extremely potent jutsu, one of the most powerful ones I have ever encountered. Countermeasures such as these are necessary."

"That doesn't answer my question, Uchiha." Anko growled, walking over to his side. "Look, I already get that part. Edo Tensai is super-powerful, and eventually someone is going realize just how useful it is and summon up a whole lot of immortal zombies with unlimited chakra to waste anything in their way. What I don't get is why we're in the arse-end of nowhere digging up people that no one in their right mind would ever want to resurrect."

Anko had to admit, it was a powerful counter-measure. Jiraya was a damn clever man. If what she'd seen on that scroll had been correct, then that Akatsuki group had resurrected a huge number of powerful shinobi and used them to wage a war against the five strongest shinobi villages simultaneously. And if they'd done it before, they could very well do it again. The only difference would be that there wouldn't be a force strong enough to resist them. Konoha, Kumo and Iwa were down for the count. No messages had come from Kiri since the Night of Stone. The carrier pigeons they were receiving from Suna made no mention of any problems down there, but it was possible that a group of survivors were simply doing the same thing as Jiraya and taking steps to maintain the illusion that their village was still intact. The solution? Destroy the bodies before Akatsuki, Otogakure or anyone else could get to them. That didn't explain what they were doing here, though.

"That's entirely the point, no one would possibly want to resurrect them." Itachi answered cryptically.

Anko glared at him. "Enough riddles, Itachi. Explain what you're doing in terms that us poor, simple mortals can understand."

"The purpose of our mission is to completely eradicate the corpses of powerful shinobi before they can be resurrected, correct?" Itachi said. "However, our task is one that must be accomplished with complete secrecy. What do you imagine would happen if Akatsuki or Orochimaru realized that we were doing so?"

"They'd probably try and get to as many bodies as possible themselves. It would be the world's most macabre treasure hunt." Anko answered, adding the second part after an extra moment's thought.

Itachi nodded. "Precisely. For this reason, no evidence of our tampering must be left behind."

Anko's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, I get it! So you're planning on replacing the bodies in the graves of famous shinobi with ones from this graveyard."

"A slightly distasteful task, but one necessary to accomplish our intended purpose." Itachi replied.

Anko peered closely at the grave marker. "So Orochimaru takes the body, thinks he's got a legendary shinobi under his control, and really ends up resurrecting... an eighty-seven year old female butcher?"

Despite the morbid nature of their task, Anko couldn't help but laugh.

The corner of Itachi's lips quirked up. "Do not be so quick to underestimate the power of a geriatric butcher, special-jonin Mitarashi. They are often extremely efficient with a cleaver."

Anko's raised her eyebrows. "Oh, was that a joke? From the eternally somber Itachi Uchiha, no less?"

"Merely an observation." Itachi retorted smoothly. "One that you may take as you will."

Then, any trace of humor disappeared from his features as quickly as it had come. "The storm should cover our tracks. Do you know any earth jutsu of use?"

Anko nodded. "Earth jutsu aren't really my forte, but I know one or two."

"It would be best that we get to work then." The Uchiha stated grimly. "We need to be gone by the time the sun rises, and I I estimate that we will need the contents of this entire graveyard.

xXx

_(Marogi Cove - East Coast of Fire Country)_

At first glance, Marogi Cove seemed like nothing special. A large-ish, sandy beach surrounded by great cliffs of stone, separated from the rest of the world by a copse of the freakishly large trees of Fire Country and accessible only by a single path. Certainly, it was a very pretty beach, but there was nothing obvious to distinguish it from the hundreds of other locations that dotted the coastline of Fire Country.

Once you entered the trees, however, you'd start to come across weapons. Lots of weapons. Kunai, shuriken, even a couple of unexploded tags, enough weapons to arm an army.

And then you'd find the skeletons.

It had been about four hours since Anko and Itachi had finished grave-robbing the civilian cemetery, and the sun was just starting to rise. Thankfully, the storm had passed an hour or two ago. The two were making their way through the trees that bordered Marogi Cove, and Anko couldn't help but wince slightly as she heard the ground crunch under her feet.

The Battle of Marogi Cove had been the last true conflict of the Third Shinobi World War. Emboldened by the belief that Konoha's troops were permanently engaged along the northern fronts against Iwa and Kumo, Kiri had launched a small invasion of their own, hoping to carve themselves out a chunk of Fire Country for a mainland colony.

Kiri's leaders had been extremely confident in their victory, and the invasion had included several thousand civilians who were going to act as colonists. This confidence, however, had proven to be misplaced.

Iwa's Kusa campaign ended in failure after the destruction of a vital supply line, and Kumo had decided to cut its losses and leave after it became clear that victory was an impossibility. Once Konoha had finished chasing the invaders back over the borders, it had turned its full attention to the incursion that was occurring upon its eastern coastline.

Rather than the light resistance it had been expecting, Kiri's forces were faced with the full might of Konoha's elite. Only one pitched battle that had occurred, the Battle of Konishiki Plains, and it had ended in a total Konoha victory.

With the highly mobile platoons of Konoha reclaiming territory at breathtaking speed, Kiri was left with the problem of evacuating several thousand civilians off the continent and back to the Land of Water. Having just experienced the horrors of the northern conflict, the Leaf shinobi were in no mood to be dispensing mercy. Kiri's remaining ninja forces fought tooth-and-nail in a defensive rearguard strategy, but the sheer overwhelming power of Konoha's forces made their advance like an unstoppable boulder rolling down a mountain thousands of meters in height. Still, the majority of civilians reached Marogi Cove and were about to begin boarding the ships when Konoha's troops finally caught up with them. It was there that they came up against Kiri's Seven Swordsmen.

And so, in that tiny, insignificant little cove, the Gambit of Swords took place.

In order to buy time for the civilian ships to escape, the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist stood alone against the oncoming tide of Konoha shinobi. Jinin Akebino, Mangetsu Hozuki, Kushimaru Kuriarare, Zabuza Momochi, Jinpachi Munashi, Fugaki Suikazan and Ameyuri Ringo, seven against an entire army.

Perhaps the Konoha ninja were overconfident from their easy victories, or perhaps they were exhausted from the extended conflicts they had been engaged in. Whatever the reasons, the result was a bloodbath of a degree not seen since the battles of Uchiha Madara and Hashirama Senju.

With most of Konoha's heavy hitters elsewhere, the majority of the shinobi who led the charge into those dark trees were low chunin level, at best. Very few would come out again. Using the stealth techniques that were the lynchpin in so many of their strategies, Kiri's swordsmen tore through the invaders like a knife through paper. The ground became coated with the burnt, sliced and disembowled corpses of ninja. The trees were made slick with blood, and the dozens of ninja were strung up in the trees and left to die. Lightning flashed, men screamed and thunderous explosions echoed throughout the darkened landscape.

The Gambit of Swords would continue through the night and into the morning. Jinpachi would die first, torn up from behind by a Inuzuka's Gatsuga technique. Jinin fell second, consumed from the inside out by a particularly nasty species of the Aburame's insects. Mangetsu was the third to die, doing so while wielding the Kabutowari in one hand and the Shibuki in the other.

In the end, the only ones to escape the carnage were a heavily injured Fuguki and Zabuza, carried onto the last civilian ship by a pair of genin. Cut off from the beach by the oncoming Konoha troops, Kushimaru and Ameyuri met their end, fighting back to back to the last.

Konoha had never released the official figures detailing just how many people had died during the Gambit of Swords, but it had to total several hundred, at least. When you walked on the forest floor at Marogi Cove, you weren't walking on dirt. You were walking on _bones._

Marogi Cove had become a cautionary tale about the dangers of overconfidence. It was also a very good reason for destroying the bodies of five of the Seven Swordsmen first.

As Anko and Itachi approached the edge of the trees, Anko couldn't help but whistle. "They really did a number on us, huh?"

Itachi gave a nod. "I've heard that most of the survivors developed post-traumatic stress disorder. It was an unfortunate chapter in Konoha's military history."

The Swordsmen who had died at Marogi Cove had originally had their corpses impaled on spears by vengeful Konoha ninja. Later, after things were back to a more diplomatic level, Kiri had requested that the bodies be returned to them. Minato Namikaze had eventually decided that they should be buried where they fell, on the shores of Marogi Cove.

Emerging onto the bright, sun-lit beach, Anko immediately spotted the grave locations; five simple stone markers not much more advanced than the ones in the civilian graveyard. Something was strange, though. She couldn't really tell very well from the angle she was looking from, but it seemed like the sand around one of the graves had been tampered with recently.

As they got closer, Anko realized that it hadn't just been tampered with. It had been dug out.

Anko was instantly on the alert. It was possible that the grave had been dug up by a wild animal, but she doubted it. Someone had been here.

The two Konoha ninja approached the grave cautiously, ready to spring into action at the first sign of trouble. Anko peered over the side of the hole. The Swordsmen had been buried deep, deep enough that their bodies would forever be protected from the elements. There was a single, wide hole in the sand, stretching down several meters.

And at the bottom of said hole lay a still figure.

The person at the bottom of the hole was a thin, lanky man of uncommon height. His face was covered by a porcelain mask, with a green triangle at its base and the symbol of the mist symbol etched into the forehead area. He had unkempt, straw-coloured hair caught up in a tangled bird's-nest. The man's once-white mask was cracked and stained with dirt and dried bloodstains. His clothes, a sleeveless black shirt and pair of black pants, were ripped and degraded. A set of soiled, rotten bandages encased his neck and he wore only a single, grey leg guard.

The slow rise and fall of his chest indicated that the man was still alive, at least. His arms lay by his side and his right hand was wrapped around the handle of a long, needle-like sword.

Anko couldn't tell for sure, but he kind of looked like he was sleeping.

Suddenly, the man made a loud gasping noise, as if waking from a nightmare. The man started scrabbling to his feet, but slipped on the sand and fell into a tangled heap.

Anko looked at Itachi. "What am I looking at here?"

"This man is lying in a grave and the sword that he is carrying appears to be the weapon known as Nuibari. It would be a safe assumption to make that we are looking at Kushimaru Kuriarare, one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist." Itachi murmured back.

Kushimaru had apparently not noticed them, and seemed to be having great difficulty just getting to his feet. Somehow, the man got his left arm caught under his right leg guard, and didn't seem to be having much luck getting it out again.

Anko shot him an incredulous look. "_This_ is one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist?"

She supposed that she should have been more concerned about why the man had spontaneously come back to life, but Anko found the sheer incompetence that the man was displaying to be severely distracting.

Itachi just raised a hand for silence.

At the bottom of the grave, Kushimaru finally got to his feet, and placed one foot on the sandy wall, nodding in apparent satisfaction at the blue glow of adhesive chakra that surrounded it. As he began cautiously making his way up the wall, Kushimaru looked up for the first time and saw Anko and Itachi looking down at him. The man gave a squawk and tumbled back down to the bottom of the hole.

Surprisingly, Itachi was the one who took the initiative. "Hey there, can we give you a hand?"

Anko looked at her companion in shock. The way that Itachi had asked that simple question was a complete inversion of everything she had experienced as to his personality and mannerisms thus far. She's only spent a few days with him, but in that time it had become clear to her that Itachi was remote, phlegmatically dispositioned and shockingly introverted. This wasn't that he lacked emotions, he just kept them hidden most of the time.

Now, Itachi's normally blank face was set in a wide, slightly dopey grin. The Uchiha's voice had been loud and as boisterous as her own, and his body language was open and friendly. If she hadn't witnessed the transformation herself, Anko would never have imagined that the person standing across from her was Itachi Uchiha.

But of course, that was entirely what Itachi was aiming for. This person was a possible witness, and it was feasible that Itachi's former comrades could identify him based on his mannerisms alone no matter what sort of disguise he was wearing. No one would ever dream that the stoic Uchiha would behave in the manner than he was doing now.

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. After all, Itachi had successfully pretended to be a murderous sociopath for a good decade. Was it really that surprising that he could imitate a charismatic extrovert too?

In fact, it might not be a bad idea to apply a similar mask herself. Anko reached down and subtly buttoned up her trenchcoat, then clasped her hands behind her back in a way that suggested nervousness.

Below them, Kushimaru got to his feet and looked up at them. "I... er... I... No, thanks... I'll.. ah... ah... do it... ah... myself."

Anko and Itachi watched as the man slowly chakra-walked his way out of the grave. Kushimaru's behaviour was almost like someone parodying how an awkward person behaved. Kushimaru's face was hidden by his mask, so she had no idea way to tell whether the man's discomfort was real or simply an overblown approximation of the behavioral disguises that she and Itachi were donning. It almost seemed like the man was terrified of them.

Itachi greeted the man warmly as he approached the edge of the hole, stretching out a hand. "Hi, I'm Hiroshi, and this lovely woman standing next to me is Takako. We've come to pay our respects to the casualties of the Battle of Marogi Cove.

Anko made a quiet noise of agreement. "Hmm."

Kushimaru looked at the hand as if it was an alien life-form. Tentatively, he stretched out a hand of his own, as if trying to figure out how the two hands fit together. The man wrapped his hand around Itachi's middle and index fingers, giving it a soft shake.

There was an awkward silence. Anko looked at Kushimaru expectedly.

The man took in a nervous breath. "I... uh... sorry... sometimes I can't talk and I'm nervous. People... uh... yeah."

The man had apparently lost the ability to form coherent sentences. It was one of the most socially uncomfortable sights Anko had ever seen. It was like the man had some sort of grotesque parody of a social anxiety disorder.

Kushimaru turned his face away from them and began examining his sword as if fascinated by it. It was as if he was hoping for them to forget about him and talk to each other instead. Anko had seen people do similar things to escape conversation at parties, except that those had been at least mildly believable.

Itachi gave an encouraging smile. "Don't worry about it! Personally, I'm more concerned with what you were doing down that hole! Isn't that where the Seven Swordsmen are buried?"

Kushimaru made a noise that sounded like a cross between a gulp and a sob. Anko couldn't tell whether it was motivated by the nature of the question or the concept of more social interaction. "I... ah... ther... there was a war... um... do... umm..."

Suddenly, a radical change came over Kushimaru. His head snapped up, his posture straightened and he turned to look at Anko.

"Hey!" His voice was now clear and confident. "You're pretty!"

Anko didn't quite have to fake her awkward reaction. "I.. uh... thanks."

Kushimaru span around on one foot, pointing a finger at Itachi. "You! You're also pretty!"

Itachi gave a bemused nod. "Thanks?"

What the hell was wrong with him? Anko was now convinced that Kushimaru wasn't faking it, for the simple reason that no one could possible fake a consistent emotional bearing that badly. It was possible that he was attempting to take refuge in audacity by doing something so insane that no one would possibly question it, but most ninja who did that usually ended up dead. Kushimaru was one of the goddamn Seven Swordsmen.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?" Kushimaru's speech was racing. "What happened to the war? My sword was hidden in the trees. Do you know why I buried it? I didn't want Konoha to find it. I hid it with a jutsu. You have to understand, they want our swords, Hiroshi!"

Itachi's eyebrows furrowed. "What's this war you're talking about?"

"The war! The war with all the nations at once! They wanted... wanted..." Kushimaru clicked his fingers. "They wanted our swords! The masked silver-hair man was after our swords! He had a Konoha headband! They were trying to take them back! They wrapped me up in bandages and then they used some sort of Death God Seal on Jinpachi! They were going to do the same to me! But then there was this huge explosion and I escaped! I escaped, Hiroshi! But Jinpachi died! Which was okay, because I never liked him anyway. But now they're coming for my Nuibari! They won't take it from me! I'll defeat all comers! They'll come up against the wrath of a demigod! They'll scatter like dust in the wind, and they'll wish they'd never been born!"

As someone who had several friends in Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Force, Anko had read a large amount of psychological literature so as to actually be able to participate from a position of knowledge in their endless discussions of the human psyche. Kashimaru wasn't just eccentric, he was displaying symptoms characteristic of an extremely serious mental disorder. First, there was the increased energy, an enthusiasticness that not even her most excitable friends would display. Kushimaru's speech was rapid and tangential, he was simply bouncing from subject to subject without properly thinking about what he was doing. Worse, he was experiencing severe delusions of grandeur, particularly his belief that the purpose of Akatsuki's war had been to take his sword and his description of himself as a demigod.

Increased energy, grandiose beliefs about his own importance, high distractibility, racing, tangential thoughts, rapid speech, severe delusions. Kashimaru's behavior had all the hallmarks of a bipolar manic episode, but to an extremely exaggerated degree.

Of course, it was a snap diagnosis based on only a couple of minutes of interaction, but Anko was pretty sure she was right. Back before Konoha had been destroyed, people watching had been something of a habit of hers. She'd sit herself down in a cafe and just observe her surroundings, trying to figure out fragments of people's personalities based on how they acted and the ways that they interacted with each other.

She'd always been pretty damn good at it, too. She was usually able to identify whether two people were a couple, friends, family or acquaintances within a few seconds. It was one of the weirder, quieter personality traits she preferred to keep to herself.

"Wait a second." Abruptly, Kushimaru became suspicious. "Why did you say you were here again?"

"We're travelers, come to pay our respects." Anko answered.

All at once, there was a swordpoint pressing into the front of her neck.

"No. No, I don't think you are." Kushimaru growled, having transitioned from suspicious to hostile in the space of about a second. "I was sleeping down there. You woke me up. I think you're spies. Spies from Konoha, come to take Nuibari from me! That's it, isn't it? You're in on it! You're both in on it!"

"Kushimaru, look at me." Itachi demanded, the false warmth gone from his voice.

Kushimaru rounded on him. "How do you know my na..."

Itachi's eyes flashed red with the dark pattern of his Sharingan. Immediately, Kushimaru's eyes rolled up into his head, The Swordsman fell to the ground, unconscious.

There was a moment of silence, as Anko got her bearings back.

"What the hell was that?" She demanded.

Itachi shook his head. "I do not know. Unfortunately, my knowledge of this man's background and mental state is severely limited."

Now that Kushimaru was out of it, Itachi had dropped character completely. Anko did the same. "Fuck me! Guy's crazier than a cut snake!"

She rubbed her neck, where a thin trail of blood was dripping down. "So, now what? Do we kill him?"

The idea of killing an unconscious man was an unpleasant one, but considering that they were talking about a murderous crackpot here...

Itachi shook his head. "No. We can't. If Akatsuki knows that he was resurrected, it could compromise our mission if he were found dead. The genjutsu I used on him should effectively erase his memory of the last few minutes. Put him back in the grave. I'll deal with the bodies of the other Swordsmen."

Anko nodded. "And his sword?"

"Leave it. There can be no traces."

Anko lifted Kushimaru over her shoulder. The man was surprisingly light. The kunoichi leapt lightly down the hole and lay Kushimaru in the same position that they'd found him in.

Itachi pulled out the scroll that contained the bodies they had taken from the civilian graves. Placing both hands on the sandy ground, Itachi muttered the words of a jutsu and a rotten wooden coffin slowly rose up out of the ground.

Itachi carefully pried open the lid. Inside was the skeleton of a heavily-built male, one that was missing its right leg. There were a couple of scraps of flesh and clothing, but for the most part it was completely degraded. Itachi removed another scroll from his belt, this one blank. The Uchiha carefully lifted the skeleton out of the coffin and broke off the skull. Then, he placed the skull onto the scroll and channeled the appropriate chakra. The skull sank into the scroll. He did the same with the right arm, then the left arm, and slowly made his way down until the whole body was sealed within the scroll. There was nothing he could do about the missing leg, but it was safe to assume that it was lost forever in the sea of bones underneath the trees of Marogi Cove.

Then, Itachi raised the scroll in the air and used a simple Katon jutsu to burn it to ashes.

It was possible to buy scrolls immune to fire or just about anything else that could harm them. This was was not one of them. The scroll and its contents were now lost forever.

Itachi unsealed a civilian corpse of appropriate size and placed it within the coffin. The Uchiha then used the same Doton jutsu from before to move the coffin back down to its previous position.

Then he moved on to the next. Within the space of a few minutes, he had completed his grisly task. A couple of the bodies had been missing bones, but he doubted that it would cause any troubles.

Anko strode over to his side. "Are we done here?"

Itachi nodded. "We're done."

"Okay, who's next on the list?" Anko asked.

"Kumo's Gold and Silver Brothers, Ginkaku and Kinkaku."

Anko grinned. "Ah, Kumo's most infamous missing-nin? Excellent."

The two once more took off, leaving four civilian corpses and a gently slumbering Kushimaru in their wake.

xXx

_(Just outside Nasaki - Land of Rain)_

His suspicions had proved correct.

Tobi peered down into the ditch where the former leader of Amegakure had unceremoniously tossed by Nagato's forces. Hanzo of the Salamander had not been given the honor of receiving a grave. Instead, he'd simply been tossed into one of the mass graves that were the result of Pain's purges, buried along with who-knows how many others.

It was subtle, but the mud in the ditch had been disturbed. Almost as if someone had been trying to get out.

Hanzo had been resurrected.

Tobi followed the trail of debris into a nearby thicket of trees. It wasn't hard. This person hadn't even bothered to cover his tracks; or if he had then he'd done a piss-poor job of it. Tobi could swear that he could see finger-marks on the ground, as if someone had been dragging themselves on their stomach.

He found Hanzo lying against a tree a few hundred meters from the ditch. The man was in bad shape. His clothes were in rags, degraded and torn, and his respirator had turned a sickly brown colour from rust and grime. The man's yellowed hair was unkempt and shabby, and his entire body was caked with dirt. A rusted, dented kusarigama lay by his side.

The man's forehead was beaded with sweat, and he looked pale and feverish. His eyes were closed, but there was a subtle tremor in his hands and it looked like his teeth were chattering. His skin had a subtle purple tinge to it.

The symptoms he was displaying were synonymous with someone who had been poisoned with black salamander venom.

Why would...?

Ah. Of course. The resurrection. When that odd red light had brought them back, it had also healed all their injuries, both old and new. It had probably cleansed all traces of the salamander's poison from Hanzo's body.

Of course, it could very well have removed the anti-toxins from his bloodstream at the same time. The resurrection probably hadn't removed the salamander's venom sac though, so Hanzo was currently experiencing the joys of having his body reacclimatize to one of the world's most unpleasant man had probably regained consciousness several days ago, clawed his way out of the mass grave and crawled as far as he could get before passing out.

It had removed the man's scars, though. For a second, Tobi was tempted to check under his own mask. The thought was crushed as quickly as it came. He'd left Obito behind long ago. He was Tobi now.

Still, it would be unfortunate if Hanzo were to die. Ketsueki Yuuyake was running short on members.

Tobi gave the man a prod with his foot, ready to leap backwards if the man was just playing possum. Nothing. He reached into his black cloak and pulled out a kunai, then placed its point on Hanzo's neck. Tobi then applied a small amount of pressure, just enough to draw blood.

Still nothing. Either Hanzo was one of the best actors that he'd ever seen, or the man was completely unconscious.

Well, there was nothing for it. Hanzo needed a healer, and Tobi didn't have any healing skills beyond rudimentary first aid. It looked like the only person who could help him in this situation was...

xXx

"Kiri is so happy to see you again!"

The Reikikage had been waiting out the front of his house when he'd materialized upon that snowy plateau in the Land of Mountains, an unconscious Hanzo slung over his shoulder. The man was like a puppy who knew when its master was coming home.

Kiri laughed happily. "Another patient for Kiri? How exciting! Why is he purple?"

Tobi sighed. "He's had the venom sac of a black salamander inserted into his body, and his body hasn't acclimatized to the poison yet. Just make sure that it doesn't kill him."

Kiri shot off a salute and ran up to him, yanking Hanzo's body off Tobi's shoulder. The man ran into his hut, Tobi following at his heels.

As the Reikikage ran what Tobi presumed was a diagnostic jutsu over Hanzo's body, the man asked him a rather unusual question. "So how're things, Tobi? How's the wife?"

Tobi blinked. "Wife?"

Kiri nodded. "That blonde you brought round last time! Kiri thought you had real chemistry."

Tobi couldn't tell if Kiri was misguided, sarcastic or just insane. "Deidara? Deidara is male."

Kiri looked up at him for a long moment, then a grin split his face. "Kiri doesn't judge!"

Kiri thought... ugh. That was... ugh.

Tobi really could not care less what other people did in their spare time, but he was one of the most asexual people on the planet. And the only things Deidara ever got excited about were art and explosions.

It was odd of him to get riled up by something so petty. It was almost like some vestiges of his dead personality were affecting him. It was dangerous, too. Tobi was all too aware of the poisonous and often fatal consequences that loosing your cool could have on a shinobi. It would be better to simply let it slide, just to reassure himself that he could.

"So when's the wedding? Can Kiri be best man?" The Reikikage gave him what he assumed was meant to be a coy look. "Have you done the dirty yet?"

Okay, that was enough. He was starting to understand why Deidara had hated him so much.

"Kiri." Tobi said slowly, enunciating every word. "I am not gay. Deidara is not gay. You are insane, and if you don't leave this subject alone I will hurt you."

Kiri gave him another mock salute. "Yessir! Not gay, sir!"

Despite his annoyance, Tobi found that he was actually enjoying the banter. The odd conversations he had with the odd hermit, bizarre as they were, were probably the one luxury he allowed himself. In front of everyone else, it was necessary to wear a mask of detached superiority. He could let it slip slightly when he was with Kiri, because there was no point in manipulating him. Kiri just didn't care.

Of course, he'd kill the man in a heartbeat if he compromised his mission, but it was pleasant nevertheless.

"Oh, that reminds me! That little furred rodent will be coming for the smaller rodent soon! Be careful, or you'll loose your collections of bones, clay statues and shiny, shiny crystals! Shiny!"

And they were right back into insanity land.

"Up next time, the marrionette becomes a real boy! The tentacle turns on Mr Swirly! Young man Pyknic goes off the deep end up after meeting old man..." Kiri seemed to freeze mid-sentence, then slapped himself hard across the face. "Sparrows!"

Tobi stood in silence as Kiri continued to use his medical jutsu on Hanzo, ranting nonsensically as he did so. Finally, the Reikikage turned to Tobi, slapping his hands against each other in an exaggerated manner.

"Done! Kiri has fixed up his poison resistance! Hanzo should regain consciousness within around ten minutes!"

Tobi nodded. "Your assistance is appreciated."

Then a thought struck him. "I never told you his name. How... did you know that this was Hanzo?"

Kiri laughed happily. "Kiri hears all sorts of things up on his mountain! Hanzo is famous!"

Well, Kiri did occasionally get visitors other than himself. One of them must have mentioned Hanzo at some point.

In any case, he didn't want Hanzo learning about Kiri. Heaving the unconscious man over his shoulder, Tobi strode out of the small, candle-lit hut. The Reikikage followed, treading after him in an exaggerated parody of a military march.

Tobi scanned the horizon. At the high altitude he was currently at, the skyline was choked with thick white mist made long-distance visibility extremely limited. He'd been considering having his confrontation with Hanzo on the top of one of the titanic mountains that surrounded Kiri's home, but suddenly he had a much better idea.

Tobi activated his Sharingan, initiating his long-range travel jutsu. The world around him faded, replaced with the shadowy gloom of the other dimension.

Tobi wasn't there to witness it, but for an instant after he departed, Kiri's purple eyes took on a dark, malevolent orange glow. Then, the man's right hand came up and struck him hard across the face. The orange glow vanished abruptly and Kiri looked around in apparent confusion.

Apparently seeing nothing out of the ordinary, the man trudged back into his hut, muttering to himself about "stupid canids" as he did so.

xXx

_(Eastern Wastelands - Land of Rain)_

Tobi's feet landed with a crunch in the sandy ground of the ruined wastelands of the Land of Rain, sending a pair of rats scurrying away in fear. Tobi looked around at his new surroundings, breathing a sigh of satisfaction.

He was standing in one of the many battlefields where Ame shinobi had battled foreign invaders all those decades ago. It was a featureless plain of rocks and charred dirt, interspersed with only the occasional rusted kunai or human bone. Over thirty years later, and the very land itself still seemed to give off an aura of depression and hopelessness, a grim miasma of death and tragedy. The sky was overcast and dark with thick, black clouds, but no rain fell. The air was hot and dry as a bone, and contained a metallic tang that was unpleasant to the senses.

This, however, was a a very specific battlefield. This was the place where Hanzo had defeated Jiraya, Tsunade and Orochimaru in their youth and christened them the Sannin.

Tobi unceremoniously tossed Hanzo onto the cracked earth, then settled back to wait, going over the various lures he could use to maneuver Hanzo into accepting his offer. Having never actually met the man before besides the most fleeting of encounters, he was going to have to think of several potential strategies. The landscape would work to his advantage here.

If Hanzo was an idealist, as he had heard, he could use the ruined land around them as an example of the horrors of war. The desire for peace was a surprisingly common trait in shinobi, and an unexpectedly easy one to manipulate.

If Hanzo was interested in money or power, then he could use the battlefield as a way to stroke the man's ego and grease the wheels of their interaction. Ambition and avarice were quite possibly the simplest ways in existence to gain sway over someone.

If Hanzo was remorseful and seeking to make recompense for the sins of the past, he would depict himself as someone who wanted to help Hanzo make amends. This one would be trickier to pull off, but it would engender a stronger loyalty than money or power would. He could use the battlefield around them to remind Hanzo just how many horrific acts he had to make up for.

If all else failed, Tobi could use brute force and use the scene of one of Hanzo's greatest triumphs to drive home just how far he had fallen.

A couple of minutes later, Hanzo's eyelids shot open, and Tobi was treated to a piercing glare from Hanzo's odd red-and-green eyes.

The former Kage gave a grunt of surprise and immediately sprang to his feet, reaching for his kusarigama. His hand grasped empty air and he took on an expression of perplexity.

Tobi reached into his coat and tossed it to him. "Here. You may want to get it sharpened."

Hanzo let the weapon land in front of him. "How do I know you haven't rigged it with an explosive tag? Who are you?"

Ah, Hanzo of the Salamander's famous paranoia at work. He wondered just how deep it went.

"I'm a friend." Tobi answered smoothly.

Hanzo gave a grunt. "I don't have any friends. I won't ask again, who are you?"

Tobi nodded. "My name is Tobi. I'm the one who's responsible for your resurrection."

Hanzo bought his hands together into a jutsu seal. "So you're the bastard who's been controlling me like a puppet?"

The masked man raised his hands placatingly. "There's no need for that. I assure you, I was not responsible that. This is a different type of resurrection. You have full control over your body."

Hanzo scowled at him suspiciously, but lowered his hands slightly. "Why did you resurrect me? Do you intend to have me fight another one of your wars?"

Tobi shook his head. "Nothing quite so dramatic. I have a proposition for you."

The former leader of Amegakure raised an eyebrow. "A proposition?"

"Yes, a proposition." Tobi sighed. "Pick up your weapon, Hanzo. There are no explosive tags on it."

Hanzo scowled again. "You could have hidden one inside the handle."

"What possible reason could I have for doing so?" Tobi asked. "If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you while you were unconscious. How do you think you got here from the forest?"

Apparently Hanzo couldn't find a fault in his logic and the man reached down and picked up his weapon, still glowering at him.

The former leader of Amegakure raised the weapon into a defensive stance. "Now, this proposition of yours?"

Tobi adjusted his mask. "Simple. I want you to join my organisation."

"You want me to work under you?" Hanzo gave a mocking snort. "I'm no one's underling, Tobi. Still, tell me about this organisation of yours. I'll humor you."

"We are known as Ketsueki Yuuyake. We're a group dedicated to collecting the nine bijuu and using them to conquer and unite the world under our rule." Tobi lied seamlessly. "Our members are all elite shinobi."

Hanzo's eyes held a dangerous glint. "Does this organisation of yours hold any sort of connection with Akatsuki?"

That was unfortunate. Ah, well, it was going to come out eventually. It might as well be now. It was lucky that he had never officially been part of Akatsuki in this timeline.

"Four of our members were once part of Akatsuki." Tobi answered. "Beyond that, we hold no connection with them, in fact, we bear strong animosity towards Akatsuki and its leader. We're offering you a chance for revenge."

Hanzo leered at him. "You think I need _your _help to set my own house in order? What possible reason could I have for sharing power with you?"

Hmm... Hanzo had taken uniting the world to mean making a grab for power for the sake of merely having power. That had some rather telling implications. Tobi had been intentionally vague about the motive behind world conquest. As with many others, Hanzo had interpreted the words in a way that fit to his predominant mindset, namely that of someone with a lust for power. If he was reading Hanzo correctly, then there was none of that desire to unite the world for peaceful purposes he had heard about, just simple ambition. It was almost disappointing. The Hanzo of the past had been famed for his idealism. Now he was just another aimless tyrant, albeit an absurdly powerful one.

Well, that meant that peace and remorse were no longer viable carrots. Hanzo was also proving highly resistant to the idea of sharing power or wealth, which was unfortunate.

It was time for the stick, then.

"Because you won't be able to achieve it on your own."

Hanzo froze. "What?"

Tobi raised his chin. "You heard me. If you attempt to kill Nagato on your own, the result will be the same as the last two times you came up against him. Either you'll die, or you'll flee the battlefield like a coward."

In truth, he had no idea whether Hanzo would be able to defeat Nagato. He had no concept of just how strong Hanzo actually was. The Rinnegan used was certainly powerful, but Tobi didn't know the circumstances under which he had killed Hanzo. For all he knew, Nagato had slipped Hanzo poison and just waited for him to die. Hanzo didn't need to know that, though. What mattered was making him _think_ that he couldn't do it.

"Coward?" Hanzo spat, face reddening with rage. "I will..."

"You'll do what, Hanzo?" Tobi asked softly, cutting Hanzo off. "Nagato already killed you once, and he's only grown in power. If you try to take your country back without my help, you _will_ die. It's as simple as that. Nagato will tear you apart, then toss what remains of you straight back into that ditch. Do you want to go back into the ditch, Hanzo?"

Hanzo did not respond well to Tobi's patronizing question. The man's hands tightened around the handle of his weapon.

"Whether you were responsible for my resurrection or not, I will take your head for that." Hanzo growled.

"I will afford you the chance, on one condition." Tobi shot back. "If I win, you join my organisation."

"You will _afford_ me the chance? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Hanzo demanded.

"It means that I have a teleportation jutsu, and a long-range one at that. If I wished, I could simply leave here and return with a half-dozen Kage-level shinobi." Tobi answered. Even Hanzo couldn't be arrogant enough to believe that he could handle six S-ranked ninja at once.

"Fine." Hanzo spat. "Then I want to add a condition of my own. No teleportation jutsu. If you lose, you don't get to pussy out and run away. We settle this here, like men."

"Only if you'll accept another one of mine." Tobi replied smoothly. "No summoning jutsu. If you defeat me, it will be under your own power."

Hanzo gave a reluctant nod. Excellent. Tobi really didn't want to have to kill Hanzo's summon. They'd need it in the future.

Of course, Tobi would violate the terms in an instant if it looked like he was losing. He was fairly certain he would be victorious, but Hanzo had been considered one of the strongest shinobi of his time. A man who had defeated all three of Konoha's Sannin in their youth was not to be taken lightly, even if his skills had dulled slightly. This was going to be a tough fight.

Hanzo settled into an aggressive stance. Tobi pulled a pair of kunai out of his cloak and waited, one in each hand.

Then, Hanzo struck.

The man charged forward, blunted end of the kusarigama spinning in the air above his head. The bludgeon flew through the air in a wide arc, hurtling towards Tobi's face.

Tobi ducked under it, only to be faced with an irate Hanzo flying towards him, sickle in hand. Tobi raised his kunai to meet it and steel struck steel with a discordant clang. Tobi leapt backwards, wary of another strike from the blunted end.

Hanzo followed him, and Tobi danced backwards, dodging and blocking the strikes of Hanzo's sickle. For half a minute they dueled this way, Tobi remaining purely on the defensive.

Hanzo came in for another wide swing of the blunted piece, this one aimed at his legs. Tobi stepped backwards, then leapt in to deliver a punishing kick to the man's chest. Hanzo was sent hurtling backwards, landing in a defensive crouch.

From the first strike, Tobi had known that something was off. The rest of the blows had only confirmed his suspicions. Hanzo of the Salamander, one of the icons of the shinobi world, was no more skilled than an average jonin. The realization was as disappointing as it was irritating.

The legendary skill of Hanzo of the Salamander? Hanzo's speed was mid-jonin, at best. Sure, the man had a couple of clever kusarigama maneuvers and a black salamander venom sac, but neither were deserving of anything near the amount of veneration Hanzo recieved on a regular basis. Tobi knew of literally hundreds of shinobi with weapon skills superior to those of the man in front of him and an airborne poison like black salamander venom could be easily neutralized with a simple air jutsu. He was using one at this very moment.

Hell, Tobi was countering him with simple taijutsu and a pair of kunai, and that was saying something. While his skills in hand-to-hand combat were admitedly impressive, he was far more proficient in the ninjutsu and genjutsu fields. Against most high-level weapon users and practitioners of kenjutsu, he had to supplement his taijutsu with his intangibility techniques or counter with a weapon of his own. Here, he didn't even have to activate his Sharingan. Nagato, Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori, hell, even Hidan would have torn Hanzo apart by now.

And yet, he'd heard such tales of Hanzo's exploits. Tobi wasn't yet willing to believe that every single one was a mere exaggeration. Hanzo had once been a name that could send hardened samurai and shinobi fleeing in terror. This... was just pathetic. Was it really possible for a shinobi's skill to atrophy this much?

As he was now, Hanzo was next to useless to him. If he was going to get any sort of worthwhile value out of Hanzo as a tool, he was going to have to break the man down completely and rebuild him from the ground up.

"Pathetic."

Hanzo looked at him with surprise, then heated fury. "Pathetic? You've hardly touched me."

Tobi's lone visible eye glittered dangerously. "I haven't been trying to touch you. Would you like me to?"

As if daring him to try, Hanzo began spinning the chain of his weapon in lazy arcs.

So be it.

Tobi ran forward, blades at the ready. Hanzo swung his chain in an overhead strike. Tobi made a feint to the left, then with an almost preternatural burst of speed darted to the right. Before Hanzo had time to blink, Tobi's hand jabbed through the air, point of the kunai blade just touching Hanzo's neck.

"Dead."

Tobi withdrew his kunai and stepped backwards. Face flushed with anger, Hanzo slashed at him with a two-handed sickle strike. Tobi caught the blow on the kunai in his artificial, Mokuton-strengthened right hand, raising the one in his left to press against Hanzo's throat once again.

"Dead."

With a growl, Hanzo attempted to shove him backwards. Tobi let him, leaping through the air and landing a good few meters away.

Hanzo's hands began flashing through hand seals. **"Katon: Inferno Blade"**

The sickle part of Hanzo's kusarigama began to glow a brilliant white. Tobi held off from attacking head-on again. It would be best to identify what Hanzo's jutsu did first.

Tobi slid the kunai in his right hand back into his sleeve and reached out, and a gigantic shuriken popped into existence. Rather than using Kamui's rotational power to launch the weapon, Tobi merely used his augmented strength to toss it at Hanzo. He wasn't quite sure whether Hanzo would be able to handle it at full rotational speed, and he didn't want to kill the man.

And if Hanzo couldn't handle the shuriken at the speed that he'd thrown it at, then he really would have no use for the man.

The huge weapon flew through the air, spiraling towards Hanzo's head. The man raised his sickle, and struck the shuriken as it came close. There was a hissing sound, and the sickle sliced through the shuriken like a hot knife through butter. The two halves of the weapon landed harmlessly on either side of him, the red-hot edges making the ground around them shoulder and smoke.

Interesting. Hanzo was using his Fire Release to heat his weapon's blade. To impressive temperatures too, if the ease at which it had cut through his weapon was any indication.

Tobi was starting to see hints of how Hanzo could once have been considered a shinobi legend. The man didn't have much in the way of long range offense, but with a speed increase and a little more situational awareness he could be lethal at close range. Engaging him at in a contest of blades would be suicide if he could just tear through your weapon with a single blow. Additionally, to use Fire Release in such a way without it melting your weapon bespoke of an uncommon skill with ninjutsu.

Unfortunately, a jutsu like that was only effective if you could hit something with it.

Tobi ran forward once more, right arm raised. One of the things that he had discovered after his little time-travel jaunt was that the red light that had brought him back had also increased his synchronization with the artificial cells that made up his right arm and shoulder. While his ability to use Wood Release before had been severely limited (and only usable to any real extent when he merged with Zetsu), he could now use Hashirama's jutsu to at least a partial degree.

A wave of thin, wooden tendrils shot out of the right sleeve of his cloak, descending on Hanzo like a swarm of vipers. Hanzo jumped backwards, trying to slice through the grasping strands, but they were too fast. The tendrils wrapped around his right arm like ropes and then immediately hardened, carefully avoiding coming anywhere near the glowing blade of the kusarigama.

Tobi dropped his other kunai and wrapped his left hand around Hanzo's throat, exerting a significant amount of pressure.

"Dead."

Tobi's hand tightened further, and the glow from Hanzo's weapon faded. More tendrils of wood sprouted from him arm, and wrapped themselves tightly around Hanzo's legs. The man was making choking noises, spluttering and struggling to draw breath. His eyes were still wrathful, but contained more than a hint of fear.

Tobi released the man's throat and retracted the tentacles from around Hanzo's arm, but left the ones binding his legs. The man fell to the ground, coughing weakly.

"This is the limit of your strength?" Tobi asked quietly. "This is the legendary power of Hanzo of the Salamander?"

Tobi turned and began striding towards nearby a clump of boulders. Hanzo was dragged along behind him, bare skin scraping painfully on the sharp rocks of the earth. The man was still hacking painfully, trying to get his breath back.

"Pathetic."

With a heave of exertion, Tobi swung Hanzo through the air, slamming him into a boulder with punishing force. The stone was reduced to fragments, and Hanzo gave an involuntary cry of pain as the bones of his left arm were shattered.

"You're nothing, Hanzo." Tobi declared scornfully. "A nobody. The world has passed you by and all that's left of you is this pathetic shell."

Tobi dragged Hanzo backwards, and then swung him headfirst through another rock. Chunks of stone exploded everywhere, and a river of blood began pouring down Hanzo's face.

"People used to flee at the very sound of your name, remember? Look at you now. An icon of the shinobi world? Don't make me laugh."

Tobi span Hanzo through the air and released his Wood technique, flinging Hanzo into another group of boulders several meters away. The man struck them with enough force to fracture several, then tumbled to the ground in a bloody heap.

Tobi strolled over to were he had fallen, kunai in hand. Hanzo grasped feebly at the handle of his kusarigama with bloodied fingers. Tobi stamped viciously on his right hand, and then plucked the weapon from Hanzo's limp digits. Tobi examined the weapon it intently for a second.

"You like metaphors, don't you Hanzo? Of course you do." Tobi said, in a voice dripping with disdain and mockery. "From what I've heard, you were always ranting about faith and conviction and comparing people to their weapons. Well then, how about this one? This weapon is you!"

With a cruel movement, Tobi slammed the weapon into the ground with a Wood Release-enhanced blow. The scythe end shattered into a pile of useless, rusty fragments.

"You spent so much time delivering sermons to other people about conviction that you forgot your own! You used to stand for something, Hanzo. What are you now? Just another despot, trying to protect his own power."

His speech seemed to be working. Hanzo's eyes had widened slightly when he'd bought up the man's conviction fixation. He needed to drive home how far Hanzo had fallen just a little further, and the man would probably have some sort of epiphany about the value of having purpose in life, or some similar ideological bullshit.

"Look around." Tobi knelt down and grabbed Hanzo head with both hands, roughly twisting it so that the man was forced to survey the landscape around them. Do you remember this battlefield? It's the place where you defeated Konoha's Sannin. You had conviction then, didn't you? You wanted to unite the world! You wanted to create a utopia of peace, a land free of war! Just what have you become, Hanzo? A weak, tin-pot dictator, driven only by hatred, avarice and lust for power. You're just like your weapon, dull, broken and rusty. Pathetic."

Ugh. Tobi had to hold back a desire to vomit at the nauseating quixotism and saccharine sentimentalism he was spouting. Yet, somehow, the hackneyed weapon metaphor seemed to bring about a change in Hanzo.

With herculean effort, the former leader of Amegakure began shakily getting to his feet. Tobi stepped backwards. He had done enough. Now it was time to see whether his efforts had borne fruit.

Hanzo spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground, then looked up at him with newly-determined eyes. His voice was clear and strong, and gave no hint as to the unreal pain he must be feeling "This organisation of yours. What is its purpose?"

Tobi raised his head. "I've already told you that. We want to unite the world."

"I already know that." Hanzo growled. "What I need to know is why. Give me the reason."

"You think you're in a position to make demands?" Tobi asked.

"Either you give me the reason, or you kill me here and now." Hanzo said. "There's no middle ground here, Tobi."

Tobi hesitated for just the right length of time, then pretended to sigh. "Very well. To the general public, as well as some of our more power-driven members, our goal is world domination for the sake of world domination. Our true goal, however..."

The man was trying to hide it, but Hanzo was hanging on to his every word. "Yes?"

"Our true goal..." Tobi paused again, as if he was almost embarrassed about what he was about to say. "Our true goal, or should I say, my true goal, is to create a world without war. By its very nature, the current system of shinobi nations propagates endless conflict. The only way to stop that conflict is to change the system completely. We cannot do so with merely our own power, however, so we aim to gather the bijuu to create an unstoppable force that no country can stand against."

He was channeling Nagato now. Still, what he was saying wasn't too far from the truth. The ultimate consequence of his actions would indeed be a world at peace. It would simply be through different means than the ones he was describing to Hanzo.

"Why do you need to lie?" Hanzo asked. "It would be much easier to gain public support if you portrayed yourselves as peace-makers, rather than terrorists."

"Villages don't take kindly to the idea of being conquered." Tobi replied. "Most of our members are traitors and missing-nin. Selflessness isn't a common trait amongst such people. If they knew the true reason, they would likely just leave and be done with it. As it is, I'm taking a sizable risk simply informing you of the truth."

Hanzo was silent for a good minute, likely considering all the factors and weighing his words carefully. Tobi let him. This wasn't a decision to be made lightly.

Finally, Hanzo bent down. For a second, Tobi thought he was going to kneel, but instead he simply picked up the blunted end of his ruined weapon. "Very well. I will join your group, on three conditions."

Tobi raised a hand towards him. "Name them."

"First, if this new world of yours becomes a reality, I get Amegakure." Hanzo stated.

So Hanzo hadn't been able to relinquish his vindictiveness after all? That was a pity. Still, it meant that he had something material to leverage over him. Naturally, Hanzo would be put under the eternal genjutsu of the Eye of the Moon Plan like everyone else, but he didn't have to know that.

Tobi nodded. "Done."

Hanzo straightened out of his slouch. "Second, I heal from these injuries naturally. No medical jutsu."

Now that was unexpected.

Tobi's eyebrows furrowed. "And why is that?"

"Because you're right, Tobi." Hanzo replied, a hint of iron in his tone. "I've become dull. That's got to change. No more shortcuts. You want to know how I became known as one of the most powerful shinobi in the world? It's because I clawed my way up from nothing. Sometime along the way, I forgot that. If this peace of yours is going to become a reality, I'm going to have to do the same thing again."

It looked like Hanzo had really taken his words to heart. Tobi stepped forward. "Very well, we can..."

"Leave me here."

Tobi tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

Hanzo's lips quirked upwards at him, eyes aflame with youthful vigor. "Leave me here. This land is my home. If I can't recover my strength here, on my own turf, then I don't deserve to be one of the people to usher in a new world."

"Your arm is broken!" Tobi protested. "I hope you're not planning on trying to take on Nagato by..."

Hanzo chuckled. "What, when I couldn't even handle you? No, I'm just going to recuperate, retrain my skill with my kusarigama and increase my speed. No outside help, no back-up, no guards to cushion me from harm. Just me. That's all."

Hanzo had REALLY taken his words to heart. Tobi wondered for a second whether the hit that Hanzo had taken to the head might have dislodged something. The former leader of Amegakure had seemed like the stoic, humorless type who wouldn't display positive emotion if his life depended on it. Now the man was smiling like a fresh genin who had just learnt his first flashy ninjutsu technique. It was made all the stranger by the fact that Tobi had nearly beaten the man to death not ten minutes earlier.

It was not unsimilar to the effect that Naruto Uzumaki seemed to have on people. Tobi had devoted a fair amount of time to researching the boy's past, and the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki seemed to change people's personalities left, right and center. The Godaime Kazekage had been transformed from ruthless serial murderer to devoted and caring village leader. One of the branch members of the Hyuuga clan had apparently gone from a vengeance-driven misanthrope to friendly, supportive humanitarian. If what he'd heard was correct, Naruto had even managed to break a Root member's emotional conditioning.

Now that he considered it, he really had incorporated a lot of Naruto's approach into his own speech. Apparently, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki could inspire people even by proxy. How amusing.

Tobi shook his head in slight bemusement. "Alright. And the third condition?"

"I need a new weapon." Hanzo said.

Tobi reached into his cloak and pulled out a new kusarigama, identical to Hanzo's old one aside for an odd gleam being given off by the metal. "This weapon was forged from some of the finest chakra metal in existence. Consider it an initiation gift."

Tobi tossed it to him. Unlike before, Hanzo caught it.

The other man nodded his thanks. "Come back in thirty days. I'll be waiting."

Tobi hoped so. It would be a pain if Hanzo died after all the trouble he'd been through. Still, he would indulge the man's mawkishness. It would serve to bind the man closer to him in the long run. He'd have Zetsu keep an eye on Hanzo, make sure he didn't get into any trouble he couldn't handle.

Tobi activated his teleportation technique and disappeared, leaving Hanzo alone in the scarred, empty battlefield. The former leader of Amegakure watched him go, then turned and limped off towards a far-off grove of trees, a small smile on his face.

xXx

_(Marogi Cove - East Coast of Fire Country)_

Bright sunlight.

Kushimaru opened his eyes and gave a yawn.

It was nice here. Warm. The sand was comfortable.

The sun was a little bright, though.

Kushimaru reached into his shirt and pulled out a small skull. The Swordsman examined it curiously for a second, then stuck his hand up through the hole in the neck, pushing his middle and index fingers out through the holes where the eyes were supposed to be.

Eheheheheh, Ameyuri.

"So." He said.

The skull did not respond. Kushimari cleared his throat.

"So." He repeated.

The skull remained stubbornly silent. The Swordsman wiggled his fingers.

"You know." Kushimaru said. "It's considered rude to ignore someone when they're speaking to you."

The skull still did not respond.

Kushimaru sighed. "Since when did you become the silent type, Ameyuri? Fine, have it your way."

Kushimaru placed the skull on top of his own, using it as a barrier to shield his eyes from the light.

The Swordsman settled back down into his grave, wiggling around a bit to get comfortable.

Bliss.

xXx

**Fin!**

**12,000+ words! Hell yeah! **

**Also, this took a REALLY long time to write.**

**Exciting news! My review count skyrocketed last chapter!**

**Well, not quite skyrocketed, but I got over twenty. Admittedly, nine of those came from one person, but that one person is awesome and I will not have anyone besmirch his/her name!**

**I was kind of worried that people wouldn't like what I did with Itachi last chapter, so the positive feedback was awesome.**

**This chapter was originally going to contain another scene where I was going to explain just what the hell is up with Kushimaru, but I figure that it's huge enough already, so I'll end it here. There will be one more Akatsuki-centered chapter, then we'll get back to the good people of Konoha. Konan and Kakuzu's arrival will be happening very soon too; either next chapter or (more likely) the one after it.**

**It turns out that Anko isn't actually part of the Torture and Interrogation Department. I always just assumed that she was. Damn you, fanfiction!**

**Hmm... I'll have to get back to Kimimaro sometime.**

**I've got a confession to make. I've never actually watched the original Naruto anime. I started with Shippuden, watched about two hundred and twenty something episodes (I ran out about half-way through the post Invasion of Pain Arc filler episodes), read the manga up to its current chapter, went back and then got halfway through the Adventures at Sea Arc before I got distracted and went off to do something else.**

**I don't really have that much of a desire to watch either the newer episodes or the original series, simply because I already know what's going to happen (from the manga and the thousands of fanfics I've read respectively).**

**Case in point, I've only watched a handful of the newer episodes. Hanzo seemed pretty badass in the manga, so he was originally going to get a significantly different portrayal than the one I gave him. Then I watched the Hanzo vs Milfune episode, so as to get a better idea as to his language patterns and fighting style.**

**Turns out, Hanzo really isn't all that impressive after all.**

**He's not incompetent or anything, but compared to some of the powerhouses we've seen before he just came off as kind of... lackluster. His poison was kind of cool, but his skill with the kusarigama wasn't all that fancy. His strikes were fairly slow and he didn't come across as someone with an overwhelming amount of offensive power. He just didn't match up with the image of someone who would be able to handle all three Sannin at once, even in their youth. Don't forget, Naruto and Sasuke haven't even hit eighteen yet in canon. Hanzo just comes across as a slightly above-average jonin with an impressive summon.**

**The canon explanation is that Hanzo's skills atrophied from lack of use, which I guess makes sense, but goddamn, that is some insane degradation. Especially considering that people used to consider him one of the strongest ninja of his time. **

**So this was my compromise. ****Now, on to something else!**

**Nfiwinfew: if you go back and read chapter two carefully, you should get a vague idea of why Konoha became petrified. That said, I will go into the details as a later date. The thing is, within the world of this story there is only one being in existence who knows the whole truth about what happened that night, and they won't be showing up in the story for a while yet. So we'll get to it eventually, but there's quite a lot of ground to cover up until that point.**

**Impstar: Yep, that's a good point. The whole time travel thing has really screwed things up, there's no doubt about that. On the other hand, if they hadn't come back then everyone would either be dead or under eternal genjutsu. It's still the lesser of two evils.**

**imsabbel: Why don't the rest of the survivors just end it? Because then this wouldn't be a very interesting story. One guy in an earlier chapter did actually do what you said, but these are hardened ninja who have grown up on "Will of Fire" speeches. They're not going to give up 'till the end.**

**To those wonderful people who called this one of the best time-travel stories on the site, I can't help but feel that there are other fics more deserving of that title than mine. That said, you guys are awesome and it's your feedback that gets me motivated to write in the first place. So thank you all! **

**Oh yeah, I came up with some names for the various arcs this story is going to be covering. I'm going to go ahead and list them here.**

**- Opening Arc**

**- Shadow of Konoha Arc**

**- Puppetry Arc**

**- Foolish Little Brother Arc**

**- Ashes of Konoha Arc**

**- Clash of Wind and Rain Arc**

**- Chekhov's Dark Horse Arc**

**- Savages of the Fifth Arc**

**- Fractured Alliance Arc**

**- Melody Dissonance Arc**

**- Whirlwind of Lightning Arc**

**- Cartographical Redefinition Arc **

**- Requiem Arc**

**Currently, we're still in the Opening Arc. The lengths of each arc are going to vary HUGELY though, so this is just going to give you a basic idea of where we're at storyline-wise. Also, arcs may be subject to change/deletion.**

This chapter is dedicated to Insanely-Yours96.

**See you next time!**

**Read and Review!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Tactical Ghost

**2/4/2013 - 80 Reviews, 94 Favorites, 118 Followers**

**A/N: It's been a while. **

**Last Time, on Failed Reset: Itachi and Anko are digging up graves and destroying the remains of powerful shinobi. They met some crazy guy named Kushimaru at Marogi Cove. Tobi beat Hanzo of the Salamander like a drum and convinced him to join Ketsueki Yuuyake. Kiri talked about stuff.**

**I think that about summarizes it?**

**On to the chapter!**

Chapter Thirteen: Tactical Ghost

xXx

(_Haruna Forest - East Coast of Fire Country_)

Kisame's patience was fraying at the seams.

"There..." Deidara raised a hand.

"If the next words out of your mouth are something to do with art, I will gut you like a pig." Hidan growled, waving his scythe threateningly.

What was it? What the hell was it that could possible cause two grown men who murdered people _for their own entertainment_ on a regular basis to squabble like children for hours at a time. Hours!

Hidan would say something. Deidara would comment on his stupidity. Hidan would insult his art or his hair or his bloodline. Deidara would insult Jashin. The two would yell at each other. There would be a brief period of silence, then it would start all over again.

There had been a brief period of blissful silence when Zetsu had ordered them to travel down to Fire Country's East Coast. Each of them had taken their own clay bird, and thankfully Deidara and Hidan had controlled themselves for the duration of the trip (thereby ensuring that Deidara wouldn't be tempted to detonate Hidan's bird in mid-air). Unfortunately, this respite had stopped the moment they'd touched down in Fire Country.

As far as he could remember, Deidara hadn't used to be someone who lost his cool easily, either. They'd been paired on a couple of missions together, and the blonde man had always come across as a calm, almost nonchalant professional whose smirk never left his face. Now, it was as if he was on a hair trigger. It wasn't just Hidan either, the slightest irritant would set Deidara off. It was like his personality had undergone some sort of radical change. Rather than the unfazable professional he had seen previously, Kisame was forced to deal with a volatile delinquent who seemed either unwilling or unable to control his emotions.

Come to think of it, he'd noticed a similar change in Tobi. Admittedly, it was much more subtle, but the masked man had always had an unshakable composure of detached, dispassionate apathy, handling Akatsuki's affairs with complete sangfroid. Now, the man had a feeling of restlessness and impatience about him that hadn't been there previously. It was slightly unsettling.

Realizing that Deidara was still speaking, Kisame tuned back into the conversation.

"...Wasn't going to. I saw something moving in the trees." Deidara said with a huff, pointing ahead of them.

Kisame looked to where he was pointing. It was difficult to see, but around the side of one of the trees he could see the distinctive air-ripple of a very familiar technique.

Kamui. Tobi was here.

The leader of Akat... Ketsueki Yu... whatever they were called now emerged from around the side of the tree. Kisame watched the way that he walked. That intense focus and confidence that had always followed him was still present, but his diagnosis hadn't been wrong. Tobi's movements were slightly hurried, there was a touch more tension in his frame. It was subtle, but it was there.

Upon seeing Tobi appear, Hidan leaned back onto one of the huge trees around them with deliberate casualness. "Well well, our glorious leader finally deigns to show himself. What can we do for you today, oh most noble majesty?"

Tobi ignored Hidan's snarky remark, turning to Kisame and Deidara. "I need the two of you to go to Marogi Cove. There should be a man somewhere in the vicinity. I need you to recruit him."

Deidara cocked him head to the side. "Who?"

"Kushimaru Kuriarare. I believe that he has been resurrected due to a chakra fluctuation." Tobi said. "Heard of him?"

A chakra fluctuation? That sounded like some of the biggest bullshit that Kisame had ever heard. A chakra fluctuation was something that happened _inside_ your body, while you were still alive. Kushimaru Kuriare had been dead for well over a decade.

Tobi was hiding something. Kisame did not appreciate being kept in the dark. Still, he could confront the masked man on it at a later date.

The swordsman looked to Deidara. Kisame knew that he was smart enough to pick up on such an obvious lie, but oddly enough the blonde man didn't seem bothered by it.

Hidan... wasn't. The silver-haired man rubbed the back of his head. "Hey, I think I know that guy! Wasn't he involved in some sort of massive slaughter? The Trick of Knives, or something?"

Tobi nodded. "Or something, yes. I'll have Zetsu fill you in with the rest of the details."

The masked man turned to Hidan. "As for you, I require your assistance."

"Uh-huh? What with?" The zealot asked.

Tobi raised his hands. "I need you to come and kill some shinobi for me."

Hidan grinned and puffed out his chest. "Now that's my type of goddamn mission! I'm in!"

Tobi stepped forward. "I'll need to hold onto your shoulder for the travel jutsu to work. Please refrain from trying to take my hand off while I do so."

"Fine, whatever." Hidan turned to Deidara and Kisame. "See you fuckers later!"

The organization's leader placed his hand upon Hidan's shoulder. The air rippled around them, and the two were sucked into the central point of Tobi's mask, their bodies distorting as they did so.

The instant they had left, Deidara turned to Kisame with an exasperated look on his face. "Seriously? We're stuck on recruiting duty and Tobi picks him to go and..."

"Do you really think it would be a good idea to let _Hidan_ try and recruit people?" Kisame cut in.

Deidara thought for a moment, then sighed. "I guess not. I can see how that could end horrifically badly, un. Still, he gets the fun mission, while..."

"No, he doesn't."

Spinning around with weapons raised, Kisame and Deidara were treated to the sight of Zetsu emerging from one of the trees behind them. The black half of the plant man was as unreadable as ever, but the white half was wearing a slightly sadistic smirk.

"And what do you mean by that?" Kisame asked.

"**Hidan is going to be serving a far more important role in the achievement of this organization's goals." **Black Zetsu said.

White Zetsu grinned. "Unlike you two, aside from his immortality Hidan really doesn't have that much to offer this organization. So he's going to get us into the good books of someone who does."

"And what role would that be?" Deidara questioned.

White Zetsu gave a smirk. "Let's just say you probably won't be seeing him for a while."

"**It all depends on how altruistic our newest recruit is going to be. And considering their history, I wouldn't have high hopes."** Black Zetsu said.

If they were talking about who he thought they were talking about... Kisame almost felt sorry for Hidan. Almost.

"As long as I don't have to deal with him, I couldn't care less about what happens to him, un." Deidara announced. "Now, Tobi said that you had more stuff to tell us?"

Zetsu nodded and looked to Kisame. "How much do you know about Kushimaru?"

"I met him a couple of times." Kisame said. "He was member of the Seven Swordsmen, a fairly proficient swordsman and he died during the Gambit of Swords. He was also _severely mentally disturbed, _and not someone I would trust under any circumstances."

Black Zetsu's eyes bored into him. "**He is trustworthy.**"

Kisame grinned and shook his head. "I doubt that."

"**He's a remnant left over from the Daimyo Stratagem. Additional measures were taken to ensure his allegiance. I trust you remember how to break the seal?"**

Kisame's mouth opened, then closed again. The swordsman nodded. "Ah."

Deidara's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Daimyo Strategem?"

Kisame turned to him. "An abandoned strategy implemented by the leader of the precursor to Akatsuki. It ended over a decade ago."

"It was an attempt to recruit a number of influential individuals to our cause. Unfortunately, most of the shinobi we recruited died during the Third Shinobi World War. Kushimaru was among them." White Zetsu continued.

Of course, that wasn't the whole story. Deidara didn't need to know that though. Tobi had informed him of just what Madara Uchiha had been up to during that period, and considering what he suspected was about to happen to Hidan... the bomber might start having second thoughts about his loyalty to the organization.

Still, Kushimaru? Tobi had never told him that Kushimaru had been one of the ones Madara had recruited all those years ago. He wasn't even all that powerful.

Wait.

Kisame raised his chin. "Kushimaru wasn't the only one of the Swordsmen recruited, was he?"

White Zetsu grinned at him. "No. There was one more."

Ameyuri. Of course.

"**Once you've recruited Kushimaru, dig up the bodies of the other Swordsmen and take them back to the Haruna Hideout. If it looks like Kushimaru has been compromised, kill him and retrieve his corpse."** Black Zetsu instructed.

"He doesn't need to be in good condition." White Zetsu added. "We really only need enough biological material to fill a beaker. Anyway, that's all we have for you."

As soon as he had finished speaking and without even a word of farewell, Zetsu sank into the ground and disappeared without a trace.

Charming.

Kisame had never been able to figure out what was up with Zetsu. The black half was supposed to be some sort of clone of Uchiha Madara, but as far as he could tell (and he had checked!) Uchiha Madara had never eaten people. It was like the plant-man had received some portion of Madara's spirit, but none of his mind, intelligence or jutsu prowess.

"Goddamn, that guy is creepy, un!" Deidara said loudly. "And now we have to go dig up mouldering, decade-old corpses? Stupid Edo Tensai."

Kisame looked up sharply. "What?"

Deidara blinked. "Hmm? Nevermind."

Edo Tensai? That was why Tobi wanted the bodies?

He supposed it made sense. As a member of the Seven Swordsmen, Kisame had been privy to all kinds of sensitive information. He was aware of just how dangerous the jutsu could be when properly utilized, and resurrecting some of the strongest of the Swordsmen definitely counted as proper utilization.

What he didn't know was why Deidara knew all this stuff when he didn't. It was immensely grating.

Deidara turned to look at him. "We should probably get to work, then. Which way to Marogi Cove?"

Kisame sighed. "It's about a half-hour walk east."

xXx

_(Marogi Cove)_

There had been times in the past where Kisame had looked back over his memories and considered that maybe he'd been wrong about Kushimaru. That maybe, just maybe, he'd exaggerated the man's insanity in his head.

Evidently, he had not.

The enormous trees of Marogi Cove were the grave-site for hundreds of shinobi. Now, they had become the necropolis for a whole new set of corpses.

Squirrels.

Dozens of them.

Each one strung up in the trees and crucified with a thin, almost invisible wire that ran between the trees. Dozens of furry, bloody bodies, dangled spread-eagled high above the ground. The fact that it was already dark and the moon was covered by cloud served only to make the sight even more foreboding

It was not unsimilar to the sights he'd seen when he'd been involved in a raid on one of Orochimaru's bases, many years ago. He was far too hardened to actually be bothered by it, but the sights had stuck with him to this day.

"Wire Art Crucifixion." Kisame muttered under his breath.

Kushimaru was here. And he wasn't in a good mood.

The soft swish of wind was the only warning he got, right before a long, needle-like sword flew through the air on a collision course with his chest.

With impressive speed, Kisame yanked Samahada off his back and knocked the weapon off course. The needle-sword bounced off Samahada with a clang, then was jerked backwards and disappeared into the gloom.

Kisame scanned the darkness where the weapon had travelled. Nothing.

The shark man spread his arms wide, addressing the shadows. "C'mon Kushimaru, you know who I am. You're not going to kill me, are you?"

A voice, dark and gloomy and dripping with madness came out of the shadows. "You're already dead, Kisame. I'm dead too. Didn't use to be, but that's just how things ended up. I'm merely releasing you from the illusion of life."

Kisame grinned. "Thanks, but I'm not quite ready to be released just yet. Come on out, I just want to talk to you."

In response, the sword once more came flying out of the trees, this time heading towards Deidara. The bomber leapt out of the way, hand almost brushing the sword. The weapon was once more jerked backwards into the dark.

"You're not strong enough to take either of us on, let alone both." Kisame announced.

"Blood, blood, bloooood." sang the voice. "So maaaaany arteries to choose from. Vertebral, carotid, subclavian, tibial, femoral, radial..."

He was parroting Zabuza Momochi now. Well, he supposed there was no helping it.

Kisame turned to Deidara. "Do it."

Deidara nodded, and raised his hands into the explosion seal. There was a flash of light from their left, followed by a loud explosion that shook the night.

Deidara and Kisame moved as one, sprinting towards the place that the explosion had come from. The bomber had slipped a small amount of his explosive clay onto the sword as it had passed him. It wouldn't be enough to cause any serious damage to Kushimaru, but it should at least stun him.

A few seconds later, they reached a small clearing. Lying in the center of the clearing was a burnt piece of cloth, one that looked like it had been torn from a piece of clothing.

Deidara gave a chuckle. "He wiped it off."

Suddenly, Kisame swung his sword in a grand arc above his head. The shadowy figure that had been silently plummeting towards his head stopped dead, the point of Nuibari driving into the flat surface of Samehada.

Rather than letting his legs fall upon the surface of Kisame's weapon, Kushimaru remained in a diving position, suspending himself above his weapon like an acrobat. With a tremendous feat of strength that belied his slim structure, Kushimaru pushed off with his arms, then used the momentum to flip himself backwards through the air. The lanky, masked man came to a stop on the ground, then raised his weapon into a defensive position.

Kushimaru tilted his head towards the charred spot on the ground. "You didn't think I wouldn't notice, did you?

The thin man span on the ball of his foot, and moved to take off into the darkness once again.

Kisame was faster. The shark man raised his hands, and quickly went through a set of very specific seals.

Midway through his stride, Kushimaru stumbled, then fell to the ground. The thin man clutched at his head and gave a bone-chilling scream of agony.

Kisame looked at him with something resembling pity. Before Sasori, memory seals had been an imperfect science at best. He'd been memory-sealed once before, and the feeling of having it dispelled was unimaginably painful.

Deidara looked to him in askance. "What now?"

"You go dig up the rest of the Swordsmen. I'll deal with Kushimaru." Kisame answered.

"Should we tie his hands?" Deidara asked.

"No." Kisame let himself fall down next to a tree and leaned back, hands crossed behind his head. "If nothing else, the techniques used on him were thorough. We might be here for a while, though. You might want to prepare yourself for a long wait."

xXx

**Hey all.**

**You may have noticed that this chapter was pretty short, especially compared to last chapter's attempt.**

**It didn't use to be. Originally, it was several thousand words longer. Then... some stuff happened.**

**You see, I realized that Kushimaru's background would be a great point to include some important plot threads that I need to bring in. There's a whole lot of stuff that needs to be introduced, and Kushimaru's background is the perfect way to do so. And then I read some cool stories, and they inspired me to try (temporarily) shifting my writing style. Faced with these two motivators, I decided to stick in a flashback rather than trying to explain everything in the present a la Hanzo.**

**So, using Kushimaru's twisted mental state as a medium, I shifted my style, and started to write and had great fun doing so.**

**And then I wrote some more, and what started as a short cutaway ended up as three standalone chapter with a total work count of 15K+  
**

**I tried sticking them together, but trying to read the entire thing on one shot was like beating your head with an iron mallet. The earlier chapters of this story have some significant flow issues, but those are nothing compared to what this one looked like.**

**The thing is, while I thoroughly enjoyed writing it up, I would imagine that the backstory of a minor manga character (cool as I think it may be) is probably of less interest to you that learning what's going to happen with Konoha's situation, Tobi and Hidan's mission, Kakuzu and Konan's reconciliation with Naruto and Jiraya and all the exciting things that Sasori has been getting up to.**

**I think the major problem that many people have with the anime flashbacks is not so much that they exist as that **_**they're taking time away from everything else.**_

**So, here's my comprise. Starting with this chapter and ending with the next chapter that progresses the story timewise, rather than the usual biweekly/triweekly/monthly/long period of time schedule, I'm going to be updating once every three days. That way, we'll be done with the flashback chapters in a week or so and straight back to sweet, sweet plot. Trust me on this one, 'Kay?**

**We cool?**

**Now, reader response!**

**To the anonymous reviewer who talked about Kiri, don't worry, I've already taken that into account. For obvious reasons I can't reveal too much at this point, but suffice to say there will be a reckoning.**

**imsabbel: They didn't dig the hole, up for debate but that's what I'm going for, already taken into account, have faith.**

**To everyone else, thanks!**

**I've been plotting out some of the later chapters. This story is going to be veeery long. Don't worry, we'll get there.**

**Oh yeah, and I'm still looking for a beta. No matter how many times I read it over, a few spelling errors always seem to slip past.**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter K: For Kyuubi!**

**Read and Review!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Mist, Blood & Zetsu P1

******5/4/2013 - 82 Reviews, 100 Favorites, 123 Followers**

**A/N: It's flashback time! Everyone loves flashbacks, right?**

**No? Flashbacks irritate you? But there's important plot poi... Still no?**

**Aww. Ah, well, I guess you'll survive.**

Chapter Fourteen: Mist, Blood and Zetsu - Part One

x

In the beginning, there was kindness.

Kindness, love, empathy, warmsoft emotions.

"Weakness." They said. The Kuriarare clan do not tolerate weakness.

So he got rid of them.

In the beginning he loved, and then he hated, and after a while it was hard to notice the difference

And then he hated and hated and hated, because he did not know how to live any other way.

x

The weak die. The strong survive. The cruel... flourish.

That is the Bloody Mist.

x

He's not the strongest.

He's not the fastest.

But he has potential.

"Potential." The elders say dismissively.

His hatred simmers and boils at their disdainful words _(he nods respectfully) _and the result is something else entirely

There is nothing personal about hatred _(he bows). _To hate is the natural state of things, as intrinsic as breathing _(he scrapes)_.

He doesn't hate them.

He despises them. He loathes them _(he smiles politely)_.

He loathes and loathes and would kill them if he got the chance, but he knows better. He does not yet have the strength.

But he will.

He can be patient. He can wait.

x

Callousness. Ruthless. Brutality.

These are the mantras of his childhood.

And for a while he hates himself _(so many nights huddled alone crying/hurting/bleeding, detesting his own pathetic weakness)._

x

He tumbles to the ground, a white-hot arc of pain lancing across his chest.

His useless, weak eight-year old body refuses to move. Traitorous tears pour down his cheeks, and he sniffs pathetically.

A boy twice his age drives his foot into his ribs and his teacher looks on with detached, cold eyes.

He has already learnt that the twisted caricatures of humanity around him do not respond to cries for mercy _(helpmehelpmepleasestop- no one cares, jeering laughter and cutting words)_, so he just lies there and takes refuge in vengeful fantasies of hacking and piercing and blood.

For a second, he thinks he sees a pale man with dark hair watching from a distance, but then a kick makes him see stars and when he looks again there is nothing.

x

He spends long nights in meditation, removing the parts of his personality that do not serve his purpose.

He trains endlessly, constantly seeking new heights.

And with time, he becomes what they want.

x

"You've improved." His sensei admits grudgingly.

His teammate Ryuzaku is more forthcoming. "That was amazing! You tore that guy apart! That was, like, jonin level!"

He gives him a smile. "Thanks. Good luck with your match."

He has just killed a man. He has just killed a man, and the crowds are cheering his name for it.

Something pricks at his mind, like a fly refusing to leave him alone.

Conscience? Remorse? Whatever it is, it has no place within the Bloody Mist _(Theweakdiethestrongsurvivethecruelflourish)_. He dismisses it, then burns the bridge from which it came.

Ryuzetsu is torn apart from the inside out by a fire technique from Konoha. He dispassionately notes down the technique signs. It looks useful.

x

He makes chunin easily.

There is pomp and ceremony and celebration and no one seems to mind that he just tore a man's head off. And he is once more reminded that morality is the realm of the weak, the sick, the delusional.

Life belongs to the cruel. Life belongs to the murderers and the slavers and the thieves and the backstabbers.

Life is an endless progression of pointless, petty time, a passage marked with silver and red (_rending and tearing and bloodbloodblood)_. And yet, none of these people are truly alive. Not the way that his teachers defined it. They lack that... spark. Life does not exist in Kirigakure. He is the only one who lives within this labyrinth of death.

A lone survivor, surrounded by the walking dead. They delude themselves into thinking themselves living with ideologies and dreams and morals and creeds, an insanity so perfect that he is the only one who can see it.

He is the only one who is truly alive. Therefor, he is the only one who matters. His desires. His goals. His dreams; if he had any.

And suddenly, it makes sense. They believe the same thing. They think that they are alive, and that he is dead. And that realization makes him angrier than he could have imagined.

What does it matter if they die? They are already dead. He is merely proving a point.

The elders bring him before them and congratulate him_ (he bows respectfully)_

He decides that he will give himself a graduation present.

x

Tamaki looks up from his work. "What..."

Bones snap with a melodious chime and the old man tumbles to the ground.

_(potential)_

He breaks the legs first.

_(mediocre)_

Then the arms.

_(unremarkable)_

The man who lectures about weakness is on the floor sniffling/howling/crying _(lies and deceit and hypocrisy so monumental he almost laughs) _and it is beautiful _(lies become truth- the corpse is revealed for what it really is)_.

He makes sure that Tamaki also understands that he is dead, then dumps the body in the sea.

x

One of the elders passes away peacefully from old age.

He cries and cries, and his 'friends' _(soft foolish weak)_ do not know what to do.

He cries because now he will never be able to satisfy his loathing.

He settles for defacing the corpse

x

And then comes the new age of Kirigakure, and suddenly cruelty is no longer fashionable.

No, that's not right.

Cruelty towards allies is condemned _(A serial murderer receives a public execution)._

Cruelty towards the enemy is celebrated _(A serial murderer receives a ceremony in his honor)._

But even those are treated like outcasts _(rabid dogs on a leash, mistrusted/feared/kept on the fringes of society). _

He does not care about politics and ideology and principals and duties. He does not care for what one leader condemns and another fights for.

But he does not want to be cast out. _(no one fights for a bully- no one defends a tyrant)_.

So he became kind.

x

"Thank you so much, sir! I think I've got it!"

He smiles at the genin. "Please. Call me Kushimaru."

The children who are gathered around him are starry-eyed with admiration. The parents babble happily to each other about how kind and friendly he is _(so warm, so trusting, so stupid)_.

He idly considers how easy it would be to plunge the practice kunai into the boy's jugular.

For a second, he thinks he sees the pale man from long ago watching him from the crowd, but when he looks back the man is gone.

x

Sometimes, he is too tired to pretend. Sometimes, someone would discover his true nature.

x

"You're a monster!"

He looks up from the body of one of the Kuriarare elders _(the regal body beneath him is broken and shattered and glorious- his mouth drips with crimson liquid)_. His sensei is standing at the door.

He reaches for his sword.

x

These were easily dealt with. Kiri is still a lawless place.

But it is too much of a risk. So he buys a physical mask so that he no longer has to hide the contempt in his eyes.

x

And then comes the great night. The night of vengeance.

And as he stands in that great hall of the Kuriarare clan, surrounded by broken, twisted marionettes scattered into chunks and segments of brilliant scarlet, he feels...

'Happiness'?

'Closure'?

Nothing.

Twenty years of fighting and hiding and bleeding for the purpose of this night_ (clothes soaked with red, fingers slimy with gore)._ He feels nothing.

He has nothing.

He is nothing.

There is a man in an orange mask there. He applauds him.

The pale man is there too, he's sure of it. He's sensed his presence many times over the years.

The masked man offers him a proposition. There is a lot of grand talk about peace and lies and utopias. He accepts, if only for something to do. The man gives him a new sword. Nuibari.

The next day, cruelty is fashionable again.

x

"As Mizukage, it is my honor to accept you as one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist!"

The crowd erupts with thunderous applause. The pale man is within it somewhere. He steps forward, and nods his head before the Mizukage.

He cares not for the masked man's plan. He is tired. Tired of hatred. Tired of cruelty. Tired of life.

But he knows nothing else.

And then he meets the rest of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist. Then he meets Ameyuri Ringo.

x

They go on a mission together, just the two of them. They slaughter a village _(pleading faces, sobbing children, the usual)._

Suddenly, it's no longer a mere routine extermination.

Because he gets to look at himself from the outside. And for the first time since childhood, he gets to see just how far he has fallen.

And it is terrifying.

x

The small, nameless seaside village has been wiped out. The buildings have been reduced to ruined, grinning husks. There are no survivors.

He catches her eye.

For a long moment, they simply stare at each other. He is covered with blood. She is coated with it. There has been no mercy or emotion in their work, only cold efficiency.

There are no words in human language to describe what passes between them. He is her. She is him. And within her, he sees a reflection of the beast. The monster within him is confronted with itself.

And it is not a realization that either can handle. There is a brief flash of fiery pain at the base of his neck.

And then he...

**He...**

**Kushimaru...**

Kushimaru looked around at the mutilated corpses around him, and for the first time realized that they were people.

People with lives, hopes, dreams. People just like him. Innocent men, women and children.

It was as if he had woken from a dream. As if his entire life up until this point had been a tale starring someone else, watched through a frosted window.

All the horrific acts that he had committed over a lifetime and so casually dismissed came flooding back to him. He raised his now shaking hands in front of his face. An ocean of blood dripped from scarlet-stained fingers.

Suddenly, Ameyuri gave a strangled sob. The red-haired woman had fallen to her knees over the corpse of a boy of about six. A boy whom Kushimaru had seen her dispassionately impale not minutes earlier.

The woman shakily drew Kiba and placed its point on her stomach. Her eyes were dark with unfathomable self-loathing and her hands were shaking violently.

No. Kushimaru didn't know what was going on, but he was not going to lose the one person who understood what was happening within him on an emotional level.

The swordsman ran to Ameyuri's side, ripped the sword from her grasp and flung it away. Kushimaru knelt next to her, and then with wrapped his arms around her with a gentleness that had previously only ever been faked.

It was an awkward hug, at best. The woman struggled for a second, and then went slack.

The sound of sobbing echoed around the darkened landscape.

xXx

Kushimaru wasn't sure how long they sat in that ruined village. Minutes? Hours? Days? Ameyuri had eventually fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion, so it must have been a while.

Too long, apparently. Kushimaru didn't have to turn around to know that the pale man was there.

He did so nevertheless. The man was a thin, sickly looking figure with long, dark hair, yellow reptilian eyes and a calculating smile. He was wearing a pair of navy pants, a plaid, baggy tunic and a purple sash around his waist.

"Who are you?" Kushimaru asked, voice resigned and tired.

There was no real anger in his tone. There probably should have been, but he was just too exhausted and emotionally drained to muster the emotion.

The man said nothing and continued to watch him that creepy smile.

"You're the one who gave me the seal, aren't you?" Kushimaru said quietly.

The man raised an eyebrow. His voice had a soft, almost hypnotic quality to it. "Oh, impressive. I wouldn't expect you to realize that it was a seal."

"I've fought people from Whirlpool. I know what having a seal broken feels like." Kushimaru responded. "How long has it been on me?"

"Since you were eight." The man answered, giving a grin. "I applied it as you slept. You two have been some of my longest running experiments. The long-term effects of disabling the empathy circuits of the brain... The results have been quite intriguing. Although I will admit, I'm not entirely sure why it reacted the way that it did."

Eight, huh? He'd fallen to his hatred long before that point, anyway.

Besides, merely switching off his sense of empathy wouldn't have engendered the sadism that had defined him for the greater proportion of his life. The hatred, the fury, the cruelty, that had all come from Kushimaru.

Still, that explained why he'd just reacted the way that he had. To become a truly elite shinobi, you had to learn how to kill your feelings, your sense of empathy and kindness. On order for that to happen, however, you had to have possessed those feelings in the first place. Kushimaru had never had them, at least not for a long, long time. The immense rush of empathy and horror had simply overwhelmed his mind.

"So, what happens now?" Kushimaru asked forlornly.

"Well, usually I'd kill you." The man answered bluntly, running his freakishly long tongue along his front teeth. "Buuuuuuttttt, I find that I've developed something of a sentimental attachment to the two of you, long-running experiments that you are. I've got one final procedure I'd like to test on the two of you. You won't resist, will you?"

The man's jaw distended, and a horde of snakes poured out.

Kushimaru didn't bother to try and fight back. He had no doubt that if the man wanted him dead, then he could do so as easily as squashing a bug.

Darkness took him.

xXx

**What hilarious adventures will our lovable semi-psychotic temporary-protagonist get up to next? Find out next time!**

**This has been fun.**

**In case you were wondering, this takes place before the Third Shinobi World War. I'm sure that some among you have immediately realized the apparent problem with this. **

**All I can say is this; Have faith, all will become clear.**

**I've got a couple of reviews mentioning pairings, so let me say this. Just because a male character and a female character strike up a relationship of some sort, it doesn't mean that they're going to be romantically involved. Platonic friendship exists too.**

**That said, it doesn't mean that they won't, either. To be entirely honest, I haven't always decided myself. I try and hold the mindset of a character within my head when I'm writing them (if I'm unsure, I usually watch an episode or read a chapter starring them) and some of the time they actually do things completely off-track from what I have planned. A chapter will be completely derailed because I realize that a character would act in a completely different way to what I intended for them. So far it's been pretty minor, but one of these days a character is just going to tear right through the glass tower I've built and leave the plot in absolute ruins.**

**Or maybe I'm just being deeply earnest and ostentatious and you should ignore my pretentious ego-trip. But I do try. I think I'm getting better at it, too. **

**Something of a drop in reviews for last chapter (20 - 2), but seeing as nothing incredibly exciting really occurred last time, I guess that makes sense.**

**Don't forget, this is more of an ensemble piece than a main-character one. Things are a bit confused right now, but the 'main' characters of the Opening arc are Naruto and Tobi. That's going to change when we hit different arcs though, oh yes.**

**Hmm, between this chapter and a fight scene I've been writing (I won't give too much away, but it involves Hidan), I'm starting to think that I have a pretty screwed up mind.**

**This chapter was pretty short, but I've got an 8K+ one lined up for next chapter. It should be all edited and stuff by Monday (Sunday for all you people who don't live downunder.**

**If you want to know what's going on, read the notes from last chapter.**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter Y: For (The Power Of) Youth!**

**Read and Review!**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Mist, Blood & Zetsu P2

**8/4/2013 - 89 Reviews, 104 Favorites, 132 Followers**

**And the flashback times continue! With my second-biggest chapter to date, no less.  
**

Chapter Fifteen: Mist, Blood and Zetsu - Part Two

xXx

He awakes to find himself in a hospital bed.

He has no memories of the past few days aside from vague, fractured images _(bloodfearpain- slicing/dicing/tearing out his mind)_ and the pale man standing over him like some demonic titan, laughing.

There is a doctor standing over him. The man's hands are stained with blood _(nononononomakeitstop)_ and he carries a scalpel.

An overwhelming fear takes him. He thrashes about, tries to flee, run, get away from the pale man.

The doctor anesthetizes him.

He is calmer then. A little confused.

Another woman comes and starts talking. He doesn't really listen.

"...Don't know exactly what they've done, but whoever did this was a genius! I've never seen anything like it! It appears to be a combination of genjutsu, surgery and some sort of third element we've never come across before! His mind is in a constant state of flux!"

The other man seems confused. The talky woman continues.

"It's constantly changing! Introversion and extroversion, empathy, emotional intelligence, IQ, it's shifting along basically every scale imaginable at an accelerated rate!"

The confused man remains confused. "But those things don't change! Not like that! To do so..."

"Violates everything we know about psychology! I know! And that's not all. It's not just introversion and EQ, he's also cycling through mental disorders!"

"What kind?"

"Every kind! Bipolar disorder, Psychosis, Psychopathy, Anti-Social Personality disorder, Schizophrenia, Narcissistic Personality disorder, Anxiety disorders of every stripe, basically every mental issue we've ever come up with as well as a few we don't even have names for yet! We're not talking manageable levels here, either. These are some of the most extreme cases I've ever seen! The cycling isn't happening as fast as it was when we bought him in, but it's not showing any signs of stopping, either!"

"Psychopathy isn't really classified as a mental dis..."

"Now is not the time for nit-picking, Hiro! This isn't even the end of it! Ameyuri Ringo is displaying the exact same symptoms!

"She's also developing mental disorders?"

"Not just mental disorders. The _exact same_ mental disorders! Whenever his brain is normal, so is hers! When brain switches over to psychotic mode, hers does the same! It's like there's some sort of link between them!"

He continues to listen to them prattle on, caught up with pathetic delusions of academic grandeur.

Suddenly, there is a fiery pain in his head, not unlike the sharp agony of being cut by a knife.

**He... **

**Kushimaru** shook his head from side to side, as if trying to clear the cobwebs from his mind. Then, he looked up at the two people standing above him with new eyes.

One of them was a portly man in his forties. The other was a woman in her twenties.

A very pretty woman in her twenties.

Kushimaru suddenly felt a vague sense of unease.

The two seemed to have noticed some change in his behaviour or manner, because they both turned to look at him.

"Sir?" The man said, subtly reaching for another needle.

"I... ah... n... no, I... I... I... I... ah, don't..." Kushimaru spluttered.

He just couldn't speak. The words simply would not leave his mouth. An overwhelming sense of anxiety washed over him, like a tsunami hitting a beach. His head felt slightly fuzzy and there was an almost physical pain in his stomach. He was filled with a sudden terror at the thought of having to try and converse with these people.

What was he thinking? Why should he care about the opinions of a pair of doctors?

The man looked to the woman. "What's wrong with him?"

Oh god, they thought there was something wrong with him. Kushimaru began to hyperventilate, his mind spiraling down destructive tangents against his will. What if they weren't the only ones? What if everyone thought there was something wrong with him? What if whenever someone smiled at him, they were really just thinking about how boring or weird he was?

It all made sense. Whenever someone made conversation, they were just doing it because it was polite, or because they had to. No one really wanted to spend time with him. It was all just some great joke, and he was the butt of it.

The woman ran her hands over his forehead, an odd white chakra emanating from her fingers. Kushimaru shied away from her, trying to avoid being touched.

After a few seconds, the doctor leaned back. "His amygdala has become hypersensitive and the anterior cingulate cortex is displaying signs of increased activity. I'm also noticing a possible shortfall of DAT in the striatum. It looks like some sort of anxiety disorder."

The man's eyebrows furrowed. "Come on, Ayako, we both know that just having a mental disorder isn't going to turn you into a stuttering, non-functional wreck."

"Kiyoshi, my bloodline isn't good for many things, but I'm pretty damn good at this if I do say so myself and I've been doing it for longer than you." The woman shot back. "If I say that he's got a shortage of dopamine transporter, then he's got a goddamn shortage of dopamine transporter. Trust me, it's an anxiety disorder, albeit a really extreme one."

It was like they had forgotten Kushimaru had existed. The man had called him a "stuttering, non-functional wreck". He only had value to them as a freak. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone?

In fact, why wouldn't everyone just leave him the hell alone? What was the point of wasting his time trying to bond with other people? They didn't care about him. No one cared.

"Ah... I... Please... I... just... just..." Kushimaru whispered.

They didn't hear him. Or maybe they did, and they were just ignoring him. They didn't think what he was saying was important enough to even receive a response.

He just wanted to be alone. Why couldn't they get that?

He just wanted...

**Kushimaru **sat up in his bed. Instantaneously, the worries that were plaguing his mind vanished as if they had never been there. The tremors stopped and his breathing returned to normal levels.

What was he concerned about? That a pair of doctors didn't like him? Why would he possibly care about something like that?

Well, he guessed the answer was pretty obvious. After all, the doctor had flat out said it. Whatever the pale man had done to him, it had screwed up his brain pretty badly. He didn't recognize half the mental disorders that the doctors had listed, but he'd had first hand experience with psychotic patients in the Bloody Mist's lunatic asylum. Men and women, raving and screaming as they tore the walls, each other and their own flesh. It hadn't bothered him then, but the thought of something like that happening to him sent tendrils of ice down his spine.

He, Kushimaru Kuriarare, had a mental illness. Some of the "most extreme cases" she'd ever seen, the doctor had said. It was was humiliating, it was debilitating and above all, it was terrifying. The thought of being betrayed by his own mind, of not being able to distinguish fantasy from reality, was a thought almost too horrible to contemplate.

He'd got the impression that simply recognizing that he had a mental illness wouldn't solve his problem, either. The doctor had been right in front of him describing his mental condition, and all he'd been able to think about was whether they thought he was a freak or not.

A physical impairment would be a thousand times more preferable. Even if he was crippled from the neck down, he'd still be able to think, to rationalize. He'd still _be himself_. When, as the doctor had said, his brain had changed, it had been like his very personality had been altered and it had taken his perception of reality with it.

In fact, how could he be sure that he wasn't hallucinating _now_? How could he trust the sensory input from his eyes and ears if he couldn't even trust his own mind?

With a shock, Kushimaru realized that the doctors had been staring at him for the past minute, waiting for him to respond.

He looked up into the striking, mismatched red and yellow eyes of the female bloodline-user. "Scan my brain again. I need to you tell me if I'm psychotic."

The woman raised an eyebrow at his sudden linguistic articulateness, but nodded. She leaned in again, and the same familiar white chakra emerged from her fingers to gently caress his forehead.

She shook her head. "No. It looks like you've returned to normal."

The man spoke up. "Now, I have a couple of..."

Kushimaru cut in. "I want to see Ameyuri Ringo."

Ayako took an involuntary step back in surprise. "Excuse me? You just recovered from major surgery!"

"You seem to have forgotten that, despite currently being a patient, I am also a member of the Seven Swordsmen. I wish to be taken to Ameyuri Ringo." Kushimaru said, voice becoming hard. "Know your place, _doctor_."

The woman blanched at the reprimand, and for a second Kushimaru felt a hint of guilt. He brushed it away. Despite his sudden change in outlook, it would be suicidal to forget the central tenants of the Bloody Mist. If the two doctors had got as comfortable around Jinpachi as they had around him, the man would have taken their heads off. In fact, if they'd shown such disrespect to him even a week earlier, he might have done the same.

The man moved to help him up. Kushimaru raised a hand. He'd be damned if he was going to accept help getting out of a bed.

xXx

Ameyuri Ringo was sitting at the window, looking out over the bay. It was early evening and the white curtains were dancing in the soft breeze, casting a dappled light over her features. The young woman's head and body were wrapped in thick bandages, but Kushimaru could see hints of red hair peeking out from underneath.

The index finger on the woman's left hand was bobbing up and down, and she seemed to be mouthing something under her breath. Her jet-black eyes were fixed firmly upon something outside her window.

Not entirely sure how to approach the situation, Kushimaru just stood there for a second. Ameyuri didn't acknowledge his presence.

Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. "What are you doing?"

"Counting the number of waves that hit the shore and subtracting the number of clouds in the sky." She answered immediately, not turning her head away from the window.

Kushimaru shook his head in bemusement. "...Why?"

"It relaxes me." She stated with a shrug.

"You're weird." He said after a pause.

Finally, she turned to look at him. There was a look of deliberate incredulity on her face. "What, and you're not?"

Kushimaru nodded. "I don't count waves and clouds, that's got to count for something."

Ameyuri shrugged again. "Good for you."

The woman turned and began examining her fingernails, which was a little odd because they were covered in bandages. Kushimaru turned and grabbed a chair from the opposite wall, then dragged it so it was facing Ameyuri's.

"So." He said. "What happens now?"

She looked back up at him. "What do you mean?"

He raised an eyebrow. " I would think that it's pretty obvious."

"What, you mean our the 'our brains being linked' thing? I'm sure we'll get used to it." She said dismissively.

"You didn't seem to think so back when the seals first broke." He said.

"What, you mean the whole crying thing? It's just what happens when you spontaneously sprout a conscience for the first time in over a decade." She shot back. "I'm already in the process of repressing it. I'll be back to massacring villages with a smile on my face in no time flat."

She really was giving nothing away. Kushimaru couldn't tell if she was hiding deep emotional anguish under a mask of flippancy, or if she really didn't care about what had happened.

"You tried to kill yourself." He accused softly.

"Yes. Yes, I did." She answered cryptically, meeting his gaze.

Silence reigned for a few seconds as both got their bearings.

Finally, Ameyuri stretched out a hand. "I should probably introduce myself. I'm Ameyuri Ringo."

Kushimaru stared at her. "...We've met."

She shook her head. "No we haven't. Not really. Take the hand, Kushimaru."

After an initial hesitation, he stretched out a hand. "I'm Kushimaru. Kushimaru Kuriarare."

She shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I'd be..." Kushimaru started, then halted when he felt an odd pressure building up in his head.

Something changed.

**Kushimaru** looked out the window.

It was getting dark, but it was still some sunlight.

There was a seagull out there, flapping about over the waves.

Heh, seagull.

Kushimaru giggled.

Ameyuri looked at him curiously. "What are you..."

The woman gave a sharp intake of breath and clutched at her head. Instantly, her face morphed into a savage grin.

Kushimaru pointed out the window. "There's a seagull."

Ameyuri went cross-eyed, staring at the finger with that same mad smile. "Get that finger out of my face."

Kushimaru ignored her. "Look at it! It's flapping around!"

Ameyuri continued to grin at him, then with a sudden movement lunged forward and fastened her teeth around his finger. Her sharpened incisors sank into his flesh, drawing blood.

Kushimaru recoiled, painfully ripping his finger out of Ameyuri's mouth.

The woman gave him a bloody smile. "I warned you."

Oh, she was going to pay.

Kushimaru scanned the room around him.

Glass of water. Chair. Spoon. Papers. Curtains. Table.

Table.

Kushimaru leapt backwards and with a heave hoisted the entire table over his head, sending its contents flying everywhere. Ameyuri gave a squeal and dived to the side, barely avoiding being piledriven with the heavy piece of furniture. The table plowed through the window with a crash and went tumbling down into the sea below.

The woman turned to look at him, a vicious leer plastered across her features. The woman leapt for the metal spoon that had fallen off the table, and then raised it high above her head with a triumphant flourish.

Kushimaru cocked his head to the side, confused.

Ameyuri laughed. "**Raiton: Lightning Fang!**"

A pale blue light flashed into being around the spoon, and a dazzling bolt of lightning arced through the air towards Kushimaru's chest. The male leapt to the side and the lightning bolt slammed into the door with an explosion of wood fragments.

Kushimaru's hands flew through seals. "**Suiton: Water Lance!**"

The man slammed his palms onto the ground, next to the puddle of water that had spilled from the cup. A thin spike of water formed from the liquid and flew towards Ameyuri. The woman jumped backwards out the window and flipped herself up onto the external wall.

The door behind Kushimaru opened and Kiyosho ran in. "What the hell is going on?"

Oh, goody! Another friend to join the fun!

Kushimaru grabbed a wooden chair and whacked the doctor across the head, laughing manically. The man's eyes rolled up into his head and he fell to the ground like a sack of bricks.

Kushimaru looked quickly around the room, and grabbed as many small objects as he could. Then, he followed Ameyuri out the window, chair slung over one shoulder.

It was a fairly cold evening, and it was getting darker every second. The hospital was situated on a cliff, and below them the waves crashed over the sharp, jagged rocks of the cliffs.

Ameyuri was waiting for him. The woman raised the spoon high in the air. "**Raiton: Lightni...**"

Her statement was rudely interrupted when a glass smacked her across the head, shattering into razor-sharp fragments and staining her bandages red with blood.

Kushimaru grinned. It complemented her hair.

Ameyuri ran towards him, spoon raised high. Kushimaru flung the objects he had grabbed from the room at her, but she was too fast, dodging from side to side. She got within melee distance and made a lunge towards him, spoon curving towards his jugular with breathtaking force.

...Only to have its progress rudely arrested by a wooden chair. Ameyuri hopped backwards but Kushimaru didn't give her any time to launch another jutsu, moving onto the offensive and swinging his chair at her. She blocked, and they dueled their way up and down the wall of the hospital, chair against spoon.

Kushimaru found that he was laughing like a child. This was hilarious!

Half a minute later, and Ameyuri leapt through one of the unbroken windows, frightening the life out of the patient inside.

Kushimaru prepared to follow, when suddenly there was a sharp pain in his head.

**His** flow of chakra cut off.

Oh god, how did you channel chakra again? He couldn't remember!

His feet slipped off the wall, and he began plummeting towards the sharp rocks below. Kushimaru tried to find some purchase on the hospital wall, but it was to no avail. There was nothing to grab onto, just smooth masonry.

He was going to die here? He, Kushimaru Kuriarare, was going to meet his end falling off the wall of a hospital because his chakra wasn't working? That was insane!

Why the hell had he been out here in the first place? And he'd clubbed that doctor over the head! For all he knew, he'd just killed the man!

It had all been so funny just a few minutes ago. Now Kushimaru could see the complete idiocy of his actions in the cold light of sanity. He was going to die as a result of his own stupidity.

Suddenly, a hand shot out of the window and grabbed his wrist. His fall was stopped with a violent jolt, and he looked up at the face of his savior.

Ameyuri starred back down at him. "I think... we should probably talk about how we're going to deal with this."

His hands trembled involuntarily. "Pull me up first."

WIth a groan of exertion, Ameyuri yanked him up and over the edge of the windowsill. The two of them fell back onto the ground, panting heavily. Right into the broken glass.

From her position on the bed, the old woman whose room they had smashed their way into finally snapped out of her shock and screamed.

xXx

They do not take kindly to his stunt.

Men in shinobi uniform charge into the room, and he allows them to take him, because it amuses him to give them a false sense of security.

They take Ameyuri too.

There is a moment where their eyes meet. She gives him a knowing look, which he returns _(easily flinging them aside- slicing and killing and freedom)_.

But they allow them to take them to the special cell and bind them with restraints and chakra seals _(pathetic children with pathetic precautions, dancing in the glory of monsters)_.

He decides he will test whether the doctors were right about Ameyuri.

He gives her an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, we're going to get out of this."

She sends him one back _(false!_). "I know. I trust you."

Her smile is masterful, warm and comforting with just the right hint of vulnerability. He smiles for real this time, because he is not alone. He can sense the monster, the twin beast to his own lurking just below the surface, ready to teach the dead that they are dead.

He is not the only one who has learnt to imitate the faux warmth of the walking corpses that plague this world. He has found another one of the living.

A progression of men come in, important figures who rant and yell and threaten him, and he nods like the good shinobi of the Bloody Mist that he is.

Ameyuri's words are dripping with seriousness and apology and it is all he can do not to laugh.

Eventually, everyone else leaves, and another man enters.

He prepares to...

**Kushimaru** straightened from his bound position on the ground in some sort of foolish attempt to make himself presentable. A second later, Ameyuri did the same.

This was no ordinary politician. This was the Water Daimyo himself. A tall, proud man, the Water Daimyo had flint-grey eyes, short, greying hair and a passion that belied his seventy years of age. The man closed the door after him, leaving the three of them alone in the room.

The Water Daimyo looked from Kushimaru to Ameyuri, then back at Kushimaru again. "This makes things slightly more difficult."

To Kushimaru's shock, the man's very form began to liquify and change, like a blob of plasticine melting and taking on a new shape. A few seconds later, and Kushimaru was faced with a very familiar figure.

Standing before him was the man who had given him Nuibari, the man who had been there the night he had slaughtered his clan's elders. The man was tall and heavily built, with long, spiky black hair, a red suit of antiquated armour and a face hidden by an orange mask patterned with black flames.

The man looked back up at him. "Surprised?"

Kushimaru's eyes widened. "You're the Water Daimyo?"

The man nodded. "I am now. The real Water Daimyo has been dead for a while now."

Kushimaru took a moment to consider the implications of this. His mind was unusually fast today, racing down threads and picking up potential implications in an instant. Assuming that this man was telling him the truth, then he had assumed the identity of the Water Daimyo, and he had somehow done so without the man's confidants, loved ones or shinobi bodyguards noticing. That bespoke of an uncommon degree of skill. In doing so, he had become one of the two most powerful figures in the entire country.

When the masked man had recruited him, Kushimaru hadn't really paid much attention to the plan that the man had explained to him. All that he'd really got from it was that the man was planning on using the bijuu to unite the land under one rule. Now, it made much more sense. By becoming one of the two rulers of the Land of Water, this man would have a huge degree of influence in the nation's foreign policy. Under the guise of a nationalistic campaign, he could send out strike forces to capture as many of the bijuu as possible, launch a military invasion and begin a campaign to unite the world under the banner of the Mist.

There was a sizable problem with that plan, though. It was based on the idea that Kiri would be able to conquer the entirety of the Shinobi Nations by themselves. Even if they somehow managed to take all the bijuu without the other countries noticing, Kushimaru doubted it would be enough if the rest of the world decided to unite against them.

...Wait, he'd got all that from a single sentence? Weird.

Then, a rather disturbing thought struck him. This man was willing to let both Kushimaru and Ameyuri know that he had murdered the Water Daimyo. That wasn't a secret to be tossed around lightly. That either meant that the man trusted them completely, or...

Kushimaru subtly pulled at his restraints. It was no use. If the man decided that they were liabilities, he wouldn't be able to defend himself.

His train of thought was violently halted when Ameyuri spoke up. "Show me your real form, Zetsu."

Zetsu? Ameyuri knew the man's name?

"Real form?" the man asked, apparently puzzled.

Ameyuri nodded. "Your armor and your hairstyle are identical to those of Madara Uchiha. I know you're not him, so show us what you really look like.

Kushimaru turned to stare at her. "Madara Uchiha?"

"His pictures are plastered in every history book in existence. It's been bothering me ever since you first appeared in front of me." She said.

"And what makes you think that I'm not Madara?" The masked man asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Perhaps 'Zetsu' is merely an alias."

"The real Madara wouldn't skulk around the way that you are." She shot back. "You don't have the presence. Besides, Madara has been dead for decades."

The masked man was quiet for a long moment. Finally, he chuckled. "Very well."

Once again, the man's flesh seemed to melt and reform. His skin became paler, his apparel seemed to sink into his body and his hair shortened and became pale green. By the time the transformation had finished, Kushimaru was looking at a monster.

The man-thing was now naked, but it had no sex organs to speak of. Its form was humanoid, but its body was lumpy and covered in strange lesions which took the form of long scars, weeping white sores and zigzagged grooves. The skin was fish-belly white. The creature's face had no visible ears or nose to speak of, but instead consisted of two gigantic, yellow eyes and an impossibly wide mouth that stretched horizontally across the thing's entire face.

Kushimaru wrinkled his nose in mild disgust. "What are you?"

The thing grinned. "I'm Zetsu. Or, to be more precise, a Zetsu."

"There are more of you?" Ameyuri asked nonchalantly. Apparently, she was less perturbed by the creature's appearance than he was.

The thing nodded. "Dozens."

Suddenly, it clicked.

"Enough to replace the most influential daimyos in just about every country in the known world." Kushimaru said.

Zetsu grinned at him, revealing rows of impossibly sharp teeth. "Precisely."

How was Mist going to conquer the world? Well, he'd just found the missing piece of the puzzle.

These 'Zetsu' seemingly had the ability to seamlessly take over civilian identities, to the point where not even the shinobi guards of the Water Daimyo had noticed. With the head daimyos of every country working together in one great conspiracy... Well, maybe they wouldn't even need a war.

If even one of the Zetsu was discovered though, the whole thing would collapse like a house of cards.

Still, that didn't answer the most pertinent question.

Kushimaru stared into Zetsu's impossibly large eyes. "What are you?

Zetsu cocked his head to the side. "Hmm?"

"You want our assistance with this grand strategy of yours, don't you?" Kushimaru said. "I have no intention of helping a race of monsters mount some sort of world domination scheme. I ask you again, what are you?"

In response, the thing opened its mouth, raised its arm and _stuck its hand down its own throat_. Zetsu seemed to fumble around for a second, then pulled out a pair of rings. The creatures's right hand morphed into a sharpened spike, and it sliced through his and Ameyuri's bindings. The creature tossed one of the rings to him and one to Ameyuri.

Kushimaru got to his feet and caught it. It was a simple silver band, adorned with a blue circle and the symbol for 'zero'.

"Put them on. It will explain everything." Zetsu said.

Ameyuri did as the creature asked immediately. After a short hesitance, Kushimaru did the same, peeling the chakra seals off himself first.

The world shifted around him and vanished. In an instant, the world became pitch black. The only thing he could see was Ameyuri, standing a few meters to his left. Everything else was coated by shadow.

Kushimaru reached down to remove the ring.

"Don't."

A voice came out of the gloom. It was a harsh, decrepit whisper, soft and menacing at the same time. Kushimaru looked around, trying to locate the source of the sound.

A figure emerged from the darkness, an indistinct silhouette with a single, coal-black eye. "We have many things to discuss. Even with the ring as a focus, maintaining this jutsu is... strenuous. I would prefer not to have to initiate it a second time."

Ameyuri spoke up. "I assume you're the mastermind?"

The shade nodded. "I suppose you could call me that. I prefer to think of myself as mankind's savior."

Ameyuri raised an eyebrow. "Mankind's savior? Someone sure has a big idea of themselves, don't they?"

"Perhaps." The figure answered. "But in my case, it is justified. My name is Madara Uchiha. I assume you've heard of me."

Ameyuri gave a mocking laugh. "Bullshit. Madara's dead."

The shade shrugged. "Believe what you will. The only thing you need to worry about is the plan we're going to be enacting."

Ameyuri gave a growl. "Listen up, you presumptuous, patronizing piece of shit. I may have agreed to be part of this insane plan of yours in the past, but that was when I was under Orochimaru's seal. I try to keep my word, but I don't consider promises I make when I'm bat-shit insane as binding, are we clear? If you think...

Kushimaru cut in, raising his hands placatingly. "I don't think..."

Then a thought struck him. "...Wait. Orochimaru?"

The pale man was Orochimaru of the Sannin? What was a Konoha ninja doing experimenting on shinobi from Kirigakure? Had Konoha...

Madara answered his unspoken question. "Orochimaru has been acting outside of Konoha's knowledge and consent. According to Zetsu's reports, he seemed to value the two of you highly. Neither of you were as subtle as you seem to think you were. He has, in effect, been cleaning up after you for a long time. If it weren't for Orochimaru disposing of witness and bodies, the two of you would have been caught and executed a long time ago."

It took a moment for this to sink in. Ameyuri gave Kushimaru a humorless smile. "Aww, wasn't that nice of him."

Kushimaru made a noise of acknowledgement. "Hmm."

Infamous Konoha shinobi were just crawling out of the woodwork like cockroaches these days, weren't they? Kushimaru wasn't arrogant enough to believe that he was anywhere close to the level of Orochimaru or Madara Uchiha, which made it all the stranger that they were both so interested in him. Orochimaru he could understand, but Madara? History had never really been a topic of interest to him, but if even half of what he'd heard about Madara Uchiha's exploits was true, then the man could probably just walk in and take over Kiri by himself if he wanted to. Stick an army behind him, and the Uchiha could probably take over most of the world within a couple of years or so. He certainly wouldn't need to stoop to this cloak-and-dagger stuff. Which meant one of three things. Either Madara was being incredibly cautious, had grown significantly weaker than what he had been in his prime or was just a pretender using the Uchiha's name.

Still, he would assume that this really was Madara until he received evidence to the contrary. At this point, the identity of the man pulling the strings didn't matter as much as finding out what the purposes of those strings were.

He turned back to the silhouette. "If you want my help, I want your entire plan. No more tricks, no more vague statements. I want details."

"For a pair of psychotic mental patients, the two of you ask a lot." Madara said, with more than a hint of condescension.

Ameyuri gave a snarl. Kushimaru could barely restrain himself from doing the same. It was as if the man had forgotten that he was trying to recruit them. His arrogance was beyond belief.

Kushimaru stepped forward until he was standing eye to eye with the silhouette of Madara. "Lets get one thing straight, Uchiha. You're the one who is requesting _our _help_. _We are under no obligation to assist you. You may be some sort of shinobi icon, but you can't do jack shit to us right now. Keep acting like a condescending fuck, and we will take off our rings, kill your monster and reveal your daimyo plan to the entire world."

Madara raised his chin, staring down at him with imperious eyes. Kushimaru held his gaze, refusing to look away.

Finally, Madara spoke. "Zetsu are sentient clones formed using the DNA of the first Hokage of Konoha. They possess the unique ability to absorb the chakra of others and take on their forms. They are completely loyal to me and obey all my commands without question."

Kushimaru stepped backwards, breaking off his gaze. It was already apparent that he wasn't going to get an apology out of Madara. The man was haughty to the point of near-parody, and Kushimaru suspected that he had far too much pride to ever admit wrongdoing on his behalf.

Still, he would hear the man out. He already disliked Madara immensely (if that was his true identity), but the fact that you disliked someone was no grounds for not working with them in the shinobi world. You just had to suck it up and get over it. While before he had agreed to assist Madara's scheme simply out of boredom, he had a much more important goal now. Kushimaru needed to make recompense for all the lives that he had taken while under Orochimaru's seal, and that was not going to be something he was going to achieve merely working as one of Kiri's ninja. Madara was an arrogant prick, but if working for him was going to bring about peace then he was just going to have to deal with it.

Ameyuri shot Madara an impatient look. "The plan?"

Madara nodded. "At this current point in time, I have a number of Zetsu observing certain non-shinobi figures of influence throughout the Elemental Nations. Zetsu are extremely proficient at stealth, and nigh impossible to detect. Even if they die, they remain in the form they have taken. Given enough time observing the someone's behavior and interactions with others, Zetsu can take on the target's mannerisms and idiosyncrasies, to the point where they can seamlessly replace their targets."

"Killing them?" Kushimaru asked.

"Naturally." Madara said.

Kushimaru felt a twinge of guilt at this thought. He brushed it off. Changing the entire shinobi system wasn't something that could be done without at least some loss of life. A few daimyo would be a minor price to pay for world peace.

"These Zetsu will then work together to bring an end to the conflicts of the world. This will likely involve the formation of some sort of universal authority or council. The nine bijuu will come under our control and we will use them to prevent any new conflicts from occurring. Should the Daimyo Strategem be successful, your role..."

"Hold up, hold up." Kushimaru raised a hand. "Why do we need the bijuu? The only way this stratagem will work will be if it is done with the greatest of subtlety, I can't see how gigantic chakra monsters are going to factor into that."

"There are always going to be people who fight against peace. As creatures dedicated purely to death and chaos, the bijuu are the natural tools those people will try and use." Madara replied. "Additionally, once they are under our control, the bijuu can be used to terminate any threats to the peace quickly and efficiently."

It seemed like a logical explanation at first glance, but something about it didn't quite ring true. Countries that held possession of bijuu tended to be very touchy when other people tried to take them. Trying to do so was one of the most effective ways possible to bring about a war.

Huh. He didn't usually pick up on stuff like that. Most of the time it just went straight over his head.

"As I was saying, should the Daimyo Strategem be successful, your role in this will be minimal." Madara continued. "You will merely serve a sideline role in smoothing the transition of power and making sure that the Zetsu are not discovered. However, it is extremely possible that the Strategem will fail. A Zetsu could be discovered, we might have overestimated the amount of power the daimyo wield or the shinobi leaders could just decide that the daimyos are overstepping their bounds and slaughter them all on the spot. Should that happen, we will have to take a more... direct route."

Ameyuri made an impatient motion with her hands. "Go on."

"Should diplomatic means fail, we will have to take an alternate path and take the bijuu by force. For this purpose, I am assembling a force of shinobi like yourself. Neither of you have any particular loyalty to Kiri. You will to become nuke-nin and hunt down the bijuu, extracting them from their hosts. From there, we will use them as an unstoppable force to bring peace to the land. There is no army in this world that could stand against all nine at once. I am currently in the process of seeking out a capable individual to act as the leader of this force. Once I do, you will defer to and obey every order they give. Is that clear?"

No. No way in hell.

Kushimaru had no doubts about it, the shinobi village system was barbaric. Shinobi fought and killed and died for nothing, civilians were caught in the cross-fire and corruption was rampant. But a world united under a man like Madara? Kushimaru had only spent a few minutes with the man, but it was abundantly clear that that would be far, far worse. The man was a tyrant. Maybe nobody else could see it, maybe Madara himself couldn't even see it, but Kushimaru could tell that the Uchiha did not care for peace one bit. Who knows, maybe he had in the past, but as he was now he was nothing more than a power-hungry empire-builder.

Apparently the increased empathy and intelligence thing that the doctor had been talking about had kicked into gear. It hadn't slipped his attention that both of Madara's strategies were centered on the acquisition of the bijuu. It was suspicious, to say the least.

"Yes, sir."

Not that he was going to tell Madara that, of course. Kushimaru had read enough stories to know that telling someone that you weren't going to join them after they'd just revealed their entire master plan to you was one of the best ways imaginable to get stabbed in the face.

No, he'd wait until Madara released the jutsu, then he'd kill the Zetsu while it still looked like a monster and inform the appropriate authorities. He'd shout it from rooftops if he had to.

"Obviously, there are going to be some precautions that will have to be taken." Madara said.

Ameyuri's forehead wrinkled. "Precautions?"

Madara turned to look at her. "Of course. To ensure that you don't reveal anything or act suspiciously, all of our agents are placed under memory seals. Until I have need of you, you will have absolutely no memory of this conversation."

Oh. That could make things more difficult.

Kushimaru raised his hands. "What, you don't trust us?"

Madara's single eye bored into him. "No."

Then, the figure raised his hands into a seal. "The pair of you, however, will need additional measures."

Kushimaru felt a strong sense of unease at Madara's words. The memory thing was an unfortunate setback, but Madara would have to release the jutsu eventually. But 'additional measures'?

Suddenly, Ameyuri gave a grunt of pain. The red-haired woman clutched at her head. "Fuck, what is that?"

"Due to your impaired mental capabilities, it is entirely possible that you will feel some sort of inclination to betray the cause at some point." Madara droned, as if he was giving a lesson to a group of children. "Thankfully, due to Orochimaru's work, your brains are still pliable enough to be altered to some small degree."

"Fuckfuckfuck, what the hell are you doing to me?" Ameyuri yelled.

"I'm not entirely sure of the medical specifics, but I believe that it has something to do with cutting open your cranium and altering your brains using a combination of genjutsu, seals and physical surgery." Madara monotoned "Usually it would either kill you or turn you into a mindless zombie, but Orochimaru has kindly laid the groundwork for us. By the time you wake up, you will be fanatically loyal to my cause when called upon. Naturally, you will have no memory of this conversation."

Son of a bitch!

Kushimaru yanked the ring off his finger. Writhing in pain, Ameyuri did the same.

Nothing happened. The shadowy surroundings did not change one bit.

Just because he couldn't see didn't mean he couldn't fight, though! Kushimaru began flailing around wildly, trying to strike at the enemies that he couldn't see.

The silhouette shook its head. "This is a mental landscape. Your physical body is paralyzed."

"Stop this! We said we were loyal, you bastard!" Kushimaru shouted at him.

"If you're loyal, then you shouldn't mind us taking precautions. This is the most logical course of action." Madara shot back.

Panicked beyond reason, Kushimaru charged towards the silhouette of Madara. His fist flew through the air... and went straight through the shadowy figure, followed by the rest of Kushimaru.

Madara shot him a contemptuous glance. "You honestly believed that would work? I thought you were supposed to be intelligent."

The male Swordsman ignored the jibe and raised his hands into the genjutsu disruption seal. "Kai!"

It was for the shortest length of time imaginable, but for a split second the world around him seemed to flicker.

Madara recoiled as if struck, then straightened. "Don't. The process will be all the more painful if you struggle."

Kushimari tried it again. "Kai!"

The world flickered again. Madara growled. "Stop that."

Ameyuri's struggles began to slow, then stopped. The red-haired woman flopped to the ground like a piece of meat, then disappeared. An instant later, Kushimaru began to feel a sharp pain around his forehead. The swordsman ignored the sensation and focused on dispelling the genjutsu.

"Kai! Kai! Kai! Kai! Kai!"

The world continue to flicker, but that was it. The pain increased. Kushimaru bit his tongue so hard that it drew blood and mustered his chakra for one last push.

"Kai!"

There was a snapping noise and the shadowy world disappeared in a flash, to reveal the cell room he had come from.

He was lying on the ground, arms flat by his side. Leaning over him was the doctor- Ayako, her hands aflame with the white glow. To her left was a tall, thin man wearing a surgical mask and wielding a scalpel. The Zetsu was leaning against the opposite wall, monstrous yellow eyes fixed on him. About a meter to his left, a heavyset man in shinobi fatigues was crouched over the body of Ameyuri Ringo, eyes closed and hand resting on her forehead.

The second that he broke the genjutsu, a needle filled with foul yellow liquid was inserted into a vein in his arm. Kushimaru couldn't help but notice that Ayako's mismatched eyes held a sinister gleam that hadn't been there before.

Obviously, he and Ameyuri weren't the first to have their memories sealed.

Ayako gave a gasp and recoiled, obviously shocked at seeing him awake. Kushimaru could already feel his vision going dark and his strength fading as the drug made its way through his bloodstream.

Still, he had strength enough for one last act.

Lurching to his feet with all the grace of a drunk sloth, Kushimaru yanked the scalpel out of the hand of the surgeon. With a quick movement, he drove the blade towards the throat of the man standing over Ameyuri.

It didn't hit, of course. His vision was blurred, his movements painfully clumsy, and the scalpel was merely imbedded in the man's shoulder. The man gave a scream of surprise and pain and pulled back.

With that simple action, all his energy was spent. He sank onto the floor and did not move again, able to do nothing but listen to the voices wash over him.

"Ah! Motherfucker!"

"It's just a flesh-wound. Quit being such a wimp."

"Fuck! He got me in the middle of the jutsu too!"

"So? Just apply it again."

"That's not how it works! A procedure like that can't be attempted twice! It would kill her, or at the very least leave her a mindless zombie!"

"Ah. So, where does that leave us?"

"I had time to get the memory seals in place, but he got me when I was setting the loyalty geass. I was most of the way through, but it could still..."

"It shouldn't be a problem. If she starts rebelling, we'll put her down. Simple as that."

"But..."

"Just do him and we'll be done here."

So he'd achieved something after all. Not much, but something. At least he'd tried.

And with that final thought, Kushimaru sank into unconsciousness.

xXx

"...don't want to hear anything like this happening again. Are we clear?"

Kushimaru blinked. What...

Oh. Right. He was getting the lecture of his life from one of the most powerful men in the country.

Kushimaru bowed his head. Ameyuri did the same.

The Water Daimyo sighed and motioned to one of the ninja standing behind him. "Cut their bonds."

The thick, heavyset man did so, deftly slicing the ropes that bound them with a kunai. Kushimaru got to his feet, yanking off the chakra restraint seals and rolling them into a crumpled ball, which he then tossed at his feet.

He couldn't help but notice that the heavyset man's left shoulder had an oddly recent-looking bloodstain on it, thought there was no wound in sight. He shook his head. It was probably nothing.

The Water Daimyo turned and left with his men, leaving the two of them alone in the cell.

After a minute, Kushimaru turned to Ameyuri. "So."

She gave him a bemused look. "So."

Kushimaru rubbed the back of his head. "How long did you have the pale man's seal on you?"

Her brow wrinkled. "Pale man? You mean Orochimaru?"

Orochimaru?

The pale man was Orochimaru of the Sannin? What was a Konoha ninja doing experimenting on shinobi from Kirigakure?

xXx

**I just had a character call Madara Uchiha a condescending fuck to his face. Eheheh.  
**

**If any of you like psychological stuff, you you might be interested to know that for the majority of chapter fourteen, Kushimaru effectively assumed a sort of pseudo-psychopathy, with a healthy dose of psychosis mixed in. **

**In case you're interested in such things, the brain of a psychopath works very differently to that of a normal human. **

**(If you don't feel like listening to a psychology lecture, feel free to skip this part)**

**Empathy comes in two forms; cold empathy, which is the ability to tell what another person is feeling and warm empathy, where you in effect 'feel' some degree of their emotion. For example, if a person had just lost one of their parents then cold empathy would be if you were able to tell that they were feeling:**

**- Sad and depressed at the loss, **

**- A hint of vindictive satisfaction that the cigarettes they were constantly warning them about really had got them in the end, despite the parent constantly brushing off their advice**

**- An overwhelming level of guilt at the feeling of vindictiveness**

**Warm empathy, on the other hand, would be effectively feeling their pain to some degree, even if you didn't know the man who died. You would, in effect, imagine the sadness from their perspective. Depending on how good at picking emotions you were, you might well feel a hint of their guilt as well.**

**Now, having warm empathy is veeery important. It's allows you to view other people as people, you can feel their emotions to some small degree.**

**People high on the autistic spectrum (and I mean really high) have neither warm nor cold empathy. As such, they may do something completely inappropriate (like laughing at a funeral) and then not understand why people are upset at them. They're not being deliberately provocative or hurtful, they **_**literally cannot understand**_**. **

**The general population have both warm and cold empathy, to varying degrees depending on the individual.**

**True psychopaths, however, have only cold empathy. In many cases, this can be a very bad thing because it means that they can figure out a person's most-deeply held emotional stuff without getting any of the communal feeling of warm understanding that comes with it. They're often extremely good at sniffing out psychological weak points and may exploit them ruthlessly. Without empathy, other people simply become objects. An interchangeable, commonly used alternate term is "sociopath". Psychopaths make up approximately 1% of the general population. There are a whole lot of other criteria as well, but the lack of empathy is one of the more important ones.**

**Within the canon Naruto universe, possibly the closest thing we get to a psychopath is Hidan. That said, most psychopaths aren't uncontrollable murderers or serial killers, in fact, they tend to live out normal lives like the rest of us. Light Yagami from the Death Note series is a possible 'functioning psychopath'. While they could certainly be considered evil (whether they should be is another matter), people like Tobi and Sasori can't be called psychopaths (in a clinical sense) because have displayed some fairly emotional, empathetic reactions at various points during the series.**

**(End of psychology lecture. Beginning of whine about stuff I don't like)  
**

**Also, I've kind of realized that I don't really like harem stories. I used to be cool with them, but I've kind of gone off them.**

**Why? Because for the most part, the female characters tend to be reduced to nothing more than one-dimensional lust objects. The subject of the harem tends to just come off as a sleaze, and the women seem like shallow, superficial wish-fulfillment objects.**

**Note that doesn't necessarily apply to all of them. Some of Kenchi618's stories, for example, are sort of Naru-harem, but they treat all the female characters like they are actual humans and their actions seem realistic. When you have a story where literally every woman in the entire Naruto universe lusting after him, though, it just comes off as bleh.**

**Aaaanyway, I'll get off my soapbox now.**

**In more plot-related matters, it seems slightly unlikely that Madara would go to all that trouble of pulling out his own eyeballs and giving them to a random Uzumaki child and creating a force of sentient plant-people if his plans revolved around an impressionable shinobi tumbling into his cavern by accident and taking over operations. With a force of transforming, obedient masters-of-disguise at his disposal, it doesn't seem out of the question that he'd still be trying to pull strings even if he himself was stuck to a giant tree in an underground cavern.**

**In response to hananotsuki hime, interesting theory. I'm not going to give away too much, but you're definitely on to something. What that something is, however, is another matter entirely.**

**This isn't regular white Zetsu, by the way. This is a different, earlier Zetsu.**

**The apparent problem, by the way, was a man in an orange mask showing up before Obito became Tobi.**

**We'll wrap up this stuff next chapter.**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter U: For Unexpectedness!**

**Read and Review!**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Mist, Blood & Zetsu P3

******10/4/2013 - 93 Reviews, 108 Favorites, 133 Followers**

******A/N: And, just to round things off...**

Chapter Sixteen: Mist, Blood and Zetsu - Part Three

xXx

Learning to deal with a brain that was constantly shifting and actively fighting against your control was hard.

Learning to do so when your personality underwent complete and radical changes on a regular basis was nigh impossible.

Kushimaru had no idea how he managed to continue to remain on active duty, or even avoided being incarcerated in an insane asylum. Apparently, someone in authority liked him.

With time, the brief flash of morality that had materialized when Orochimaru's seal had broken had faded to a dull ache. Kushimaru once again learned to shut off his emotions, to kill without mercy when circumstances or superiors called for it. He never took joy in it anymore, though.

Well, at least not when his mind was working correctly. The changes were less frequent now, but they were still far too common for his liking.

One of the consequences of having his brain turned into a mental disorder roulette wheel was that he ended up spending a lot more time around Ameyuri Ringo. This occurred simply because no one else could bear to spend any extended period of time with either of them, and because she was actually quite good company when they weren't trying to stab each other or sobbing their eyes out while avoiding human contact at all cost.

He had taken off his mask, though. Several woman (and men) had called him handsome. He couldn't really see it, but hey, who was he to disagree?

It was hard to say which mental disorders were the worst. Psychosis was bad, but then so was the depression. Occasionally, manic bipolar was actually kind of fun, but it also expressed itself in terrifying paranoia, irritability and a sense of infallibility that almost got him killed several times. Narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy weren't so bad when you were actually experiencing them, but some of the actions he took while under their influence were things best left forgotten. The anxiety disorders ranged from minor annoyance to living nightmare.

Even without the psychological illnesses, it was hard. Some days, he was a genius on the level of Kiri's finest minds. Other days he couldn't even remember how to put his shin-guards on. Sometimes, he could discern a person's most closely guarded personal secrets with only a glance, other times he couldn't even tell that someone who had just lost a loved one was sad. He regularly oscillated between extreme sociability and hating the idea of talking to anyone. It was maddening.

Sometimes, the neurological changes were actually a blessing. Other times... Not so much.

xXx

"Hey, Kuuuushimaru?"

"Yes, Ammmmeyuri?"

The redhead quirked her head to the side. "What are we doing here?"

Kushimaru grinned. "What, by the side of a deserted road in the middle of the night?"

Ameyuri nodded emphatically. "Hmm!"

"Well, we're going to rob a caravan, Ameyuri!" He cried exuberantly, his words accompanied with a dramatic flourish.

Ameyuri's mouth widened with innocent delight. "A caravan? You mean gold!?"

Kushimaru leaned in, touching a finger to her nose. "Ahh, not so fast, Ameyuri! You see, we're not going to take the gold! We're going to take the wheels!"

Ameyuri raised her hands to the sky. "Ooh! But why, Kushimaru?"

Kushimaru bounced energetically on his heels. "Well, think about it this way! If we just take his gold, the merchant could hide some of it!"

The woman put her hands over her face in horror. "Oh!"

Kushimaru waggled his finger. "But, what happens if we take his wheels?"

Ameyuri's hand shot into the air. "He won't be able to move!"

Kushimaru laughed happily. "Precisely! He'll be stuck! And then we can come back later and sell them to him! He'll have to give us all his gold, Ameyuri!"

Ameyuri clapped her hands guilelessly. "Amazing, Kushimaru!"

Kushimaru puffed himself up and struck a pose. "And I assume you want to know why we're wearing circus costumes, Ameyuri?"

Ameyuri wiggled the bells on her jester hat. "I do, Kushimaru!"

"Well, it's very simple! This way, the merchant won't know who we are! We can take off our costumed and then swap them! We will be untraceable, Ameyuri!"

Ameyuri flung her arms wide. "Untraceable!"

Kushimaru looked out into the darkness, where he could see a faint light. "Looks like he's coming. We'll have to be quiet now so he doesn't know we're here, Ameyuri!"

The red-haired woman gave an emphatic nod. "Hmm!"

The light grew brighter and brighter, lighting up the gloomy landscape. Eventually, the form of an ornate-looking carriage came into focus. It had two large brown horses, a black-suited coachman and Kushimaru could see the dim form of someone else inside.

Waiting until the carriage was within range, Kushimaru ran out of the bushes they were hiding in and stood with his arms spread wide in front of the carriage. Ameyuri ran out next to him and struck a similar pose.

"Halt!" He cried.

The coach came to a stop. The coachman, rather than saying anything, just stared at them with a dumbfounded look on his face.

After a second, the coach door opened and a middle-aged man with a stern face stepped out. "What's going on? Why have we stopped?"

Kushimaru transfixed him with a finger. "Ah, good day sir! We have a request for you! You see, we are robbing your caravan..."

Ameyuri tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around.

"What?" He whispered.

Ameyuri put a hand over the side of her mouth. "This isn't a caravan."

"What?" He said.

"This isn't a caravan." She whispered again. "There are no camels!"

Kushiaru leaned back with a knowing smile on his face, then gave her a gentle pat on the head. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong! For you see, words can have more than one meaning!"

Her eyes widened in delighted astonishment. "Oh!"

Kushimaru's voice grew louder. "And even if it wasn't, we could come up with a new meaning! Language changes all the time! We'll go down in history as pioneers, Ameyuri!"

"Incredible, Kushimaru!" She cried.

Kushimaru span back to the man who had been inside the coach. "As I was saying, we are robbing you!"

"Robbing you!" Ameyuri echoed.

The man's face was a picture of bewilderment. "Ringo? Kuriarare? What the hell are you doing?"

Kushimaru's eyes went wide. "But where are your guards, sir? Surely, a fine caravan such of this must have guards!"

The man's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. It made him look like a particularly confused fish.

"You!" He yelled finally. "You are my guards! I hired you to protect me on this trip! We've been traveling together for the past week, what the hell is wrong with you!?"

Kushimaru and Ameyuri were silent for a moment as they processed this piece of information. The lanky man began slowly stepping backwards.

"Ah, I see. Well..." Suddenly, Kushimaru span around. "He's onto us! Run, run, Ameyuri!"

"Run, run!" She echoed, and the two took off into the night at full sprint.

xXx

The grizzled commander rubbed the palm of his right hand in his eye, groaning at the situation he had been put in.

Ameyuri cocked her head to the side. "I fail to see what the problem is."

Fugaki Suikazan groaned again. "The problem, Ringo, is that the damn osseous' are holed up in one of the most well-fortified underground complexes we've ever come across.

Osseous'. Cognomen for the groups of Kaguya who had been smashing up Water Country recently for no obvious or apparent reason. Kiri's leaders had dispatched a squad of shinobi to go deal with them, led by Fugaki Suikazan.

Currently, they were meeting in a small cabin close to the entrance of the complex.

One of the other shinobi spoke up. "Don't you get it? We're talking about _Kaguya_ here! Trying to fight those monsters in close quarters is suicide!

In an instant, a hand was wrapped around his throat in a vice-like grip, the point of a sword was resting on soft flesh. Kushimaru pushed his face up close to that of the man who had spoken, a dangerous glint in his eye.

"I will tolerate no disrespect towards my partner. Is that clear, scum?" He whispered, in a voice that held untold viciousness.

"I... wasn't..." The man gurgled

Fugaki looked up sharply. "Reign it in, Kuriarare. I _will_ take you off active duty if I have to."

He could do it, too. The other five members of the Swordsmen all had the authority to take them off active duty if they proved a liability.

Kushimaru released the man's throat. "Fine. Now hear her out."

"The fortress is formed from extremely durable material, correct? It can't be broken through or damaged no matter what jutsu are thrown against it?" Ameyuri asked.

Fugaki nodded. "Right. Collapsing it isn't an option."

"And the entire structure is completely underground?" She said.

From his position leaning up against the wall, Mangetsu groaned. "We wen' over all this while you were in stupidity mode. Just give us ya point."

He turned to point a finger at Kushimaru, who had got to his feet and grabbed his weapon. "Don' even t'ink about it, scarecrow. We both know I can rip ya apart if it comes down ta it."

Behind his mask, Kushimaru's eyes narrowed. Fugaki scowled. "Come on, Mangetsu, you know better than to bait either of them when they're Cog-N.

The bloodline doctor who had originally treated them had cataloged a list of various cognitive states, with labels for each. Originally, the rest of the Swordsmen had been secretive about using the terms, but by now they just couldn't be bothered being subtle about it. Cog-N was something to do with extended narcissism or some sort of superiority complex or something.

"Righ', righ', fine. Just please spare me another fuckin' psychology lecture." Mangetsu said, waving his hands in the air. "I could prob'ly write a damn book on the stuff by now."

"There's two entrances." Ameyuri said, ignoring Mangetsu. "They've got enough food to last them years. The best way to get to them is to do something to the air. We don't have any means of generating large quantities of lethal gas, so we do the next best thing. We block up all the external air vents and set fires in the entrances."

Mangetsu shook his head. "I don' follow."

Ameyuri looked at him. "Of course you don't. Stop talking like that."

"Wha'? Like dis?" Mangetsu grinned. "I don't know what'cha talking about. 'Sides, you were talkin' like t'is just a cou'pla weeks ago, remember? I'm just trying to make ya' feel accepted."

Fugaki got to his feet. "Mangetsu. Get out."

Mangetsu shot him an incredulous look. "Seriously? I'm just..."

"Out. Now." Fugaki said, in a voice that brooked no argument.

Sullenly, Mangetsu skulked out of the tent, sending all of them dirty glances.

Hmm. Apparently, Fugaki was afraid of he and Ameyuri might go on a rampage or something if they were provoked. It was almost amusing the amount of power they held over the man.

"We light fires in the entrances." Ameyuri continued. "If we can block all the other ways that air can get in, then eventually the fires are going to consume all the oxygen they have down there. They can't cut through the walls, so they'll either have to come out, or they'll asphyxiate. Either way, we win."

Fugaki shook his head. "That would take far too long. That much air is going to take a while to get through."

"Normal fires, yes." Ameyuri said. "We aren't going to be using normal fires. We're going to get together all the Katon users under your command and have them constantly casting fire jutsu. That should speed up the process significantly."

Fugaki nodded. "Yes, that could work. We could set up a defensive perimeter around the entrance. I think you might be on to something, here."

The ninja who Kushimaru had threatened spoke up once again. "Wait, hold on a second! These aren't just bandits! There are woman and children in there!"

All three swordsmen turned to look at him.

"So?" Fugaki said.

"So? They could..." The man began.

Kushimaru cut him off. "Members of the Kaguya Clan are usually extremely proficient with their bloodline and nothing else. If we set up a line of..."

Kushimaru, Ameyuri and Fugaki turned back to the hand-drawn topographical map of the region, leaving the protester to splutter in vain.

xXx

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

From his position draped on one of the red couches of one of the council meeting rooms, Jinpachi Munashi looked up at him blearily. "If I said no, would you go away?"

"Probably not, no." Kushimaru answered. "I want your advice on something."

Jinpachi sighed and motioned to the chair next to the couch. Kushimaru sat down.

"So, what'ya want?" Jinpachi asked. "This better be good, by the way. After that whole daimyo incident, the powers that be have been running me ragged."

Kushimaru raised an eyebrow. "Never took you for the bitching type."

"Yeah, well, you were Cog-A at the time. They didn't want to trust someone who was crying in a corner with a matter of national security, so I got your whole workload." Jinpachi growled. "Zabuza got off too, by the way. Apparently, it's perfectly fine to send a twelve year-old to go murder bandits, but they draw the line at giving them paperwork. If I ever catch that Orochimaru cocksucker, I'm going to tear him into chunks for this alone."

Now that caught Kushimaru's attention. He'd heard that the Daimyo of the Land of Water had been assassinated, but he hadn't heard that Orochimaru had been behind it.

"Orochimaru? As in, famous Konoha ninja Orochimaru?" Kushimaru asked.

None of the other swordsmen knew about his link to Orochimaru and he aimed to keep it that way. They already trusted him about as far as they could throw him.

"The very same." Jinpachi said. "I heard it wasn't just the Water Daimyo either. Word is, old 'Orochi went rogue a couple of weeks ago, and made his very first act as a missing-nin to murder a whole lot of daimyo. By the sounds of it, it was a bonna-fide massacre; he killed like fifty of them from all over the Nations. No one's really sure why. Man after my own heart, except that I have to clean up the mess he left behind."

The corners of Kushimaru's lips quirked up. "And nothing of value was lost."

Nobody really liked the daimyos. For the most part, ninja considered them to be pompous, arrogant leeches. They were tolerated and in rare cases respected, but that was about it.

"And nothing of value was lost." Jinpachi repeated. "But enough about the bureaucracy-infested hell known as my life. What did you need help with?"

"Hmm, you seem oddly helpful today." Kushimaru commented.

"Sooner I deal with whatever's needling you, the sooner you'll piss off and I get back to getting some goddamn sleep. Now get on with it." Jinpachi growled irritably.

"Ok, sure. I... uh..." Kushimaru fumbled, trying to think of the right way to put his words.

Jinpachi half-glared at him. "Spit it out."

"There's... uh... a girl I like." Kushimaru said falteringly.

Upon hearing his words, Jinpachi's bored expression lit up into a lecherous grin. "Oho? So, my boy Kushimaru is finally going to get himself some pu..."

"Yeah, this was a terrible idea. Nevermind, I think we're done here." Kushimaru cut in, his mouth curving into a distasteful grimace

What had possibly have made him think that asking _Jinpachi_ for advice was a good idea?

Oh yeah, he hadn't always been this way. When Kushimaru had first joined the Seven Swordsmen, Jinpachi had seemed like a fairly decent guy, if something of a jerk on occasion. He seemed to be turning into more and more of a dick as time went on, though.

Come to think of it, Fugaki had also been something of a giant jerk-off recently. What, were their superiors drugging their supplies with douchebaggery-inducing drugs or something?

Jinpachi raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Whoa, whoa, calm down man. I'm just messing with you. Look, it's simple. Just get her a present, something real nice. Trust me, she'll be putty in your hands."

Kushimaru nodded his head and got to his feet. "Present, got it. I'll let you get back to sleeping now."

"I have faith in you! Believe in the power of your heart!" Jinpachi sang in a high warble, placing his hand over his heart.

"Yeah, fuck you." Kushimaru shot back, walking out of the council room and closing the door behind him.

'Putty in your hands', huh? Jinpachi's suggestion had been insultingly simple and mildly sexist, but it did actually have some merit. While Kushimaru couldn't imagine Ameyuri ever being putty in anyone's hands, everyone loved gifts, right?

Suddenly, Kushimaru felt the familiar burning sensation of a neurological shift.

It wasn't a mental illness this time, thank god. But... he felt chatty. Talkative. A sociableness that was unusual for him.

Maybe, it could be a good idea to check Jinpachi's advice with a secondary source.

Noticing a pretty, red-haired young woman with a white hairband walking down the hallway, Kushimaru leapt into action and jumped out in front of her. "Hey! I need your advice on something!"

The woman blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Your advice! I need it!" He said loudly.

The woman just stared at him in a bemused fashion.

Kushimaru rubbed the back on his head. "Oh, sorry, where are my manners? I'm Kushimaru. Kushimaru Kuriarare. And you are?"

The woman stiffened upon hearing his name. "Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't..."

Kushimaru raised his hands placatingly and smiled. "Please, don't worry about it. Give me your name and we'll call it even."

The woman swallowed. "... Honoka. I'm Honoka"

Kushimaru grinned. "A pleasure to meet you, Honoka! Now, I need your help with something! Come with me!"

He reached out and grabbed her hand.

Honoka stiffened. "I... My ship is leaving soon. I need..."

"Don't worry, this won't take long!" Kushimaru said encouragingly.

With that, the lanky man ran off, pulling the girl along with him. Two minutes later and they were sitting at an outside table in one of Mist's eateries. It was a cold, wet day, but right now the sky was clear of clouds. The ever-present sea mist hung over the village, permeating everything with the salty scent of the sea. The streets were full of grim, dour-looking civilians and ninja, which made for a sharp contrast to Kushimaru's cheerful manner.

"So, here's the situation." He said. "I can trust you to be secretive with this, right?"

The girl, who seemed to be in shock about the whole thing, nodded vacantly.

Kushimaru smiled again. "Good. Now, there's this girl I like and... Oh, I should probably check!"

"Check what?" Honoka asked quietly, a slight hint of fear in her voice.

Kushimaru leaned in close. "You are a girl, correct? I've made that mistake before, and let me tell you, it did not end well. The Kunoichi association of Snow Country are legally obligated to kill me if I ever go back to _those_ hot springs again."

The girl just stared at him for a second, then a small giggle left her mouth.

Kushimaru gave her yet another grin and began laughing. After a second, so did Honoka.

For about ten seconds, the two simply laughed. As she laughed, the tension in Honoka's frame melted away and a genuine smile blossomed across her face.

Ah, humor. When it came to putting people at ease and getting them to loosen up, there really was no better way than making them laugh.

"You're funny." She said.

Kushimaru gave a small, mock bow. "I try. Now, are you ready to hear my problem?"

Honoka nodded. "Yep."

"Okay then!" Kushimaru exclaimed. "You see, there's this girl I like. It's not you, by the way, so you don't have to worry on that front. The thing is, I'm not really sure how I should confess it to her."

A contemplative look came onto Honoka's face. "Well, I'm not sure how much I can help you there. I'm not really a normal girl."

"Honoka, compared to the person I'm talking about, you are a _picture_ of normality." Kushimaru said. "A friend of mine told me to get her a present, but I'm not sure if I can trust his advice."

"Actually, that's pretty good advice." Honoka replied. "Everybody likes presents, right?"

Kushimaru's eyes widened slightly. "I thought the same thing! Clearly, great minds think alike! Hi-five!"

Kushimaru raised his hand. Looking slightly flummoxed, Honoka slapped it lightly with her own.

"Now, but what to get her?" He asked dramatically, stretching a hand up to the sky.

Honoka shrugged. "Flowers?"

Kushimaru shook his head. "She'd use them for target practice, or set them on fire for the hell of it."

"Chocolates?"

"She'd drug them, and then feed them to unsuspecting random people on the street.

"Jewelry?"

"She'd probably think I was insulting her."

"You have odd tastes in women."

"Yep."

"Well, then I'm stumped." Honoka said. "I guess you should just pick something based on her interests."

"Interests... Interests... Well, there was..." Kushimaru stroked his chin. Suddenly, the man jumped to his feet. "I've got it! It's perfect! Thank you for your help!"

Honoka smiled shyly. "Well, I'm glad I could be of service. I have to go catch a ship now, though. I've been hired to work on an island research facility, so I probably won't see you again."

"Ah, well, that's a pity, You really have been a great help." Kushimaru said. "Well, who knows what the future will bring? It's been a pleasure, Honoka."

He held out a hand.

Honoka took it. "It has indeed, Kushimaru."

The two shook hands, then Kushimaru span around and took off down the street at breathtaking speed. Honoka watched him go.

Two hours and one trip to the Kirigakure 'Plunder' Weapons Room later and Kushimaru was on his way to a meeting with Ameyuri, a large cardboard box under his arm.

Honoka and Jinpachi had been right on the nail with this one. It was perfect!

He reached the place where they had decided to met up, a long, wooden bridge to the East of Kiri's center.

Ameyuri was waiting there, leaning up against a wall. The woman was dressed in her typical shinobi gear and was idly flipping a kunai from hand to hand. Leaning next to her was what appeared to be a long, black stick.

Kushimaru walked up and leant onto the wall next to her. "Yo."

She looked at him and grinned. "Oh, hey, Kushimaru! I got you a thing!"

Ameyuri down and grabbed the stick, raising it in the air. The woman pressed a hidden button, and the top of the stick opened to reveal that it was, in fact, a long, black umbrella.

Ameyuri span the umbrella in a circle. "Check out what I got from the Plunder Room! If you swing it fast enough, it spits acid. It seemed like your type of..."

Abruptly, the two stopped mid-motion. Slowly, they reached up with both hands and clutched at their heads.

A young, orange-haired shinobi who happened to be walking past stopped and looked at them curiously. "Are you okay?"

With protracted movements, the two straightened up and looked at him, their eyes alight with madness and their mouths morphed into wild, savage grins.

The ninja stumbled back, his eyes widening in terror.

"Evacuate the area!" He yelled. "Get everyone out of here! Cog-M! Cog-M!"

Most of the people in the area just looked at him in confusion, but a couple of the older shinobi went ghost-white and began herding people away as fast as possible.

Kushimaru reached down and opened the box. Inside, was a backpack-like device with a long, hose-like accessory. An item taken from a deceased Iwa shinobi

He believed it had been called a... flamethrower.

Suddenly leaping into action, Kushimaru slipped the backpack on and raised the nozzle into an offensive position.

Across from him, Ameyuri lifted the umbrella high above her head, ready to swing.

"Hey, Kushimaru?" She whispered dementedly.

"Yeeeeeeesssss?" He said, swaying from side to side.

She raised her head high. "I think I liiiike you. _Acidacidacidacidacid_!"

Ameyuri swung the umbrella and a stream of acid flew through the air towards him. With a laugh, Kushimaru leapt to the side and the clear liquid splattered onto the wooden bridge, where it began bubbling and smoking.

All around them, people screamed and began running away as fast as their legs would carry them.

"I feel the same way!" Kushimaru yelled as he pressed the trigger on the flamethrower. A torrent of flame poured out of the nozzle and set the surrounding area on fire.

Ameyuri looked at the flamethrower, then at the acid-spitting umbrella in her hands, then back up at the umbrella. With a quick movement, she span around and took off at full pelt in the opposite direction with her hands waving over her head. "Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning!"

Kushimaru took off after her, flames pouring out of the weapon in his hands.

The chase would not stop until around nearly half of Kirigakure was set alight. Both were taken off active duty for a long time after that one.

xXx

Sadly, all good things had to come to an end. With the outbreak of the Third Shinobi World War, the Seven Swordsmen were dispatched to assist in the annexation of parts of Fire Country.

For five of them, this campaign would be their last.

xXx

Ameyuri swung Kiba in a wide arc, and the Konoha shinobi tumbled back, throat ripped out.

The two of them fell to their knees, panting. Kushimaru was covered in cuts and wounds, clothes soaked red with his own blood. His right hand was broken and useless, and his trembling left could barely lift Nuibari. Ameyuri was even worse. A huge chunk of muscle had been torn out of her right leg, and she was loosing blood fast.

The ground around them was covered in the bodies of Leaf shinobi. In the distance, they could see the last of Kiri's ships disappearing into horizon. The sun was just beginning to rise.

The Battle of Marogi Cove had almost come to a close. Without the darkness to hide them, their chances of survival had been cut down to zero.

Somewhere off to their left, Mangetsu had just gone down in a hail of techniques. The smarmy bastard had been wisecracking to the last, yelling something about meeting up in the afterlife for breakfast.

Their last hope of escape was gone. Zabuza was unconscious. Fugaki had left them as as a diversion to save his own miserable hide. It was just the two of them now. Two ninja who could barely stand, against an army.

"Kushimaru..." Ameyuri gasped, stretching out a hand towards him.

Kushimaru grasped it. "What?"

"You... run..." She choked. "Hide under... bodies... survive!"

Kushimaru muttered a jutsu, and Nuibari sank into one of the trees next to him and disappeared from sight. It was useless to him now, and he didn't want the Leaf getting their hands on it. Better that it disappeared forever than be forever interred in some trophy room.

Then, he smiled at her. "...No."

Blood bubbled out of her mouth. "You... have to."

"No, I don't. I'm going to be staying right here. Those Konoha ninja are going to to find us anyway, so I might as well die on my feet." He tapped her gently on the nose. "I never intended to continue living after the disease got to you, anyhow. Life without you would be rather boring."

He got to his feet and pulled out a kunai, standing in a defensive position over Ameyuri's body. His useless right arm was against a tree, propping him up.

A pair of ninja, one male and one female, came around the side of the tree, weapons raised. Their weapons were stained with blood, and they had a slightly crazed look in their eyes.

Well, it had been a very long night. These two had probably lost friends or loved ones. That was war, wasn't it? If he had his time again, maybe he'd try and do something about that.

He nodded politely. "Lovely sunrise, isn't it?"

Screaming with grief and rage, the male charged forward with sword in hand. Kushimaru ducked the blow, then slammed the knife into the man's shoulder. The Konoha ninja tumbled back, grasping at his ruined shoulder.

The woman raised a pair of senbon and flung them. Kushimaru prepared to dodge, when he realized that he wasn't the target.

They were aimed at Ameyuri.

Without a second of hesitation, Kushimaru dived in front of the blow and took the hit, steel needles slamming into his flank. The swordsman gasped in pain.

Ameyuri looked up at him. "You...stupid...man."

More senbon flew through the air. First two, then four, then a dozen. Kushimaru's body quivered with every hit, but he never once moved.

His world began to grow dark. Roused by a cry from the male ninja, shadowy shapes descended towards him, blades poised to strike the blows that would end his both his life and that of the woman below him.

Kushimaru gave a small chuckle, blood dripping from his dozens of wounds. "Yep... sounds about right."

With his last ounce of strength he lifted his mask, and kissed her. A sharp pain followed.

Then there was nothing but darkness.

xXx

**Well, that brings an end to the flashback mini-arc. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**A couple of comments on age and stuff. I'm going to say that she's... oh... 19 or so, to avoid the relationship squick factor. Within this canon, she was already dying of a terminal disease by the time they got to Marogi Cove, but Konoha got to her first. We'll say that the filler character from episode 289 just got his facts confused.**

**I could probably have included a scene where Kushimaru and Ameyuri sat down and talked about how they were going to deal with it on an emotional level, but I felt that continuing the flashbacks any further might have dragged it down significantly. Considering the number of characters this story has, it'll get bogged down and go for hundreds of chapters if I stop and go into every event of emotional angst.**

**I've been trying to pin down some of the dates to figure out when the Third Shinobi World War actually happened. According to sources, Obito was thirteen during Kakashi Gaiden. Presuming that Kakashi was around the same age (give or take a couple of years) and subtracting this from his part one age of twenty six/seven, it seems like Kakashi Gaiden happened around fourteen years before the start of the series, give or take.**

**This puts Zabuza's age (twenty-six in part one) during Kakashi Gaiden at around twelve/thirteen years of age. Add a year or so (due to the Battle of Marogi Cove happening a few months later) and he's about fourteen by the time this chapter comes to an end.**

**Which doesn't seem too unbelievable. I'm pretty sure Itachi had massacred the Uchiha clan by that point, anyway.**

**That's right, Jinpachi and Fugaki weren't always the scoundrels they became later. You know what they say about the corruptive nature of power (it turns you into a massive douchebag).**

**Haha, filler elements! I love incorporating those. The flamethrower is from the anime Chikara Arc and Honoka is from the Adventures at Sea Arc. I could probably just make up my own stuff, but part of the fun comes from twisting the canon to fit your story.**

**This could be a good time to mention that anyone can die at any point in this story. Anyone. Just thought I'd mention it. Totally not foreshadowing anything there.**

**I've been watching too much Baccano! I think some of it got into my head.**

**Huge thanks to ElementKitsune for beta-ing this chapter. You rock!**

**To akajust1, I was going for arrogant bastard, but funny works too!**

**Next chapter: Back to plot progression! Tobi, Hidan and some other guy!**

**(I think you can probably figure out who he is.)**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter U: For Umbrella!**

**Read and Review!**


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Tobi's Great Day

**13/4/2013 - 96 Reviews, 111 Favorites, 139 Followers**

**AN:**** Well, this ends my spate of updating every 2/3 days. We now return to the 'whenever I have time' schedule.**

**On a related note, we're back into plot progression!**

Chapter Seventeen: Tobi's Great Day

xXx

_(Marogi Cove - East Coast of Fire Country)_

Orochimaru.

Madara.

Zetsu.

Daimyo Stratagem.

Ameyuri.

Slowly, the memories that had been flooding through Kushimaru's mind slowed to a trickle, then stopped completely. Kushimaru's eyes flashed open. With a grunt, the Swordsman cautiously got to his feet, hands spread wide as if he expected to fall over again.

Kisame looked at him expectedly.

Kushimaru looked him up and down. "You've grown, Kisame."

Kisame gave him a razor-sharp smile. "Well, you've been out of the game for a long time.

Resurrection. He lived once more.

Actually, no. He'd been alive for a good day now. It was only now that he fully appreciated it, though.

"So, can we go now, un?" The voice came from a young-looking, one-armed blonde man leaning casually up against a tree to his right.

"And you are?" Kushimaru asked.

"The name's Deidara. You tried to kill me about an hour ago, remember?"

That's right, he had, hadn't he? Apparently, he'd gone psychotic again. Probably. His memories were all mixed up, so it was hard to tell.

"I wasn't thinking straight. My bad, sorry." He said apologetically.

The blonde man looked at him in something resembling shock. "Uh, that's... OK?"

If that expression of surprise was anything to go by, Deidara wasn't used to people apologizing for things.

But now, on to business. One didn't just naturally return to life. Someone wanted something from him, and he could only imagine one person with enough both power and interest to resurrect him.

Kushimaru turned to look back at Kisame. "I presume Madara wants my assistance for the Daimyo Stratagem? That's why I've been resurrected, isn't it?"

Both of the other two ninja looked at him in mild surprise. Kisame looked at Deidara, then gave a chuckle. "No. Madara has been dead for years, and the Daimyo Strategem was abandoned over a decade ago."

...Because Orochimaru had killed off all of the Zetsu. That was why the Sannin had assassinated all those daimyo. A decade, though? Wow, he'd been out for a while.

The mention of Madara being dead began needling him, though. Hadn't he seen the man recently? Actually, hadn't he seen all the Swordsmen recently?

There had been some sort of war... Gah! That damn memory seal had knocked his brain for a loop! As if it wasn't bad enough already!

But if Madara was dead, and the Daimyo Stratagem had failed...

"You want my assistance in taking the bijuu by force." He stated. It wasn't even really a question.

The shark-man nodded. "Yep. Madara was succeeded by a man named Tobi, who put together a group dedicated to collecting the bijuu"

"He's a pain in the ass and you're going to hate him." Deidara interjected.

"And does this group of yours have a name?" Kushimaru asked, ignoring the blonde's statement for now.

"Ketsueki Yuuyake." Kisame said.

Blood Sunset. A fairly ominous title, but one suitable for a great man like Madara Uchiha. Well, it was his duty to safeguard the man's plan, no matter what avenue he had to follow to do so.

Kushimaru had a sudden idea. Maybe... he could barter a little. Obviously, he would do anything Madara asked of him, but it wouldn't be a betrayal to negotiate a bit with his successor.

Kushimaru raised his chin. "Fine. I'll join your group. One condition though. I want you to resurrect Ameyuri Ringo."

Kisame's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"Resurrect Ameyuri Ringo. You've already resurrected me, do the same thing for her."

He hadn't been kidding when he'd said that life was boring without her. And Kushimaru couldn't stand boredom.

Kisame seemed to think about it for a second, then nodded. "Fine. Join our group, and Tobi will resurrect Ringo."

Kushimaru quirked his head to the side. "Tobi will resurrect Ringo?"

"Tobi is the only one who knows the jutsu." Kisame stated. "If you want Ameyuri to be resurrected, you'll have to wait until we get into contact with him again."

Kushimaru sighed. "...Fine. What now?"

Kisame nodded to Deidara, and the man tossed a pair of white blobs into the air and made a seal. There was a puff of smoke, and the blobs morphed into a pair of gigantic, white owls.

Deidara made a directive gesture. "Hop on, un."

With mild reluctance, Kushimaru did so. Deidara got on the same one, while Kisame climbed onto the other. The blonde made a sign with his hands, and the birds took off the ground and flew up into the night sky.

The future, huh? Despite himself, despite Ameyuri, despite everything that had occurred, Kushimaru felt the tiniest bit of excitement bubble up within him.

Despite it all, it was kind of... cool.

xXx

_(Chiyubasa Clearing - The Land of Sound)_

When Tobi emerged from his micro-dimension within the darkened shadows of Otogakure's Kimosari forests, it was only a couple of hours before daybreak. The pale moon shone down upon the titanic trees, casting confused and twisted shadows upon the landscape.

Ahead of him lay a wide clearing, around a hundred meters across. And sitting in the center of the clearing, apparently without a care in the world, was a pale man with long, black hair.

It appeared that Orochimaru had got his message. He'd killed the messenger too, if the white form he was sitting on was any indication.

The corner of Tobi's mouth twitched into a grimace. Zetsu were hard to produce these days. The original could do so using its Spore technique without the Hashirama clone, but only at the rate of a couple per week.

It made what he was about to do all the more irritating. Tobi slipped back into the shadows, taking care to not make any sudden movements. Ahead of him, a Zetsu clone who had taken on his form emerged out of one of the trees and walked out into the clearing, imitating his movements perfectly.

Orochimaru had arrived at the meeting location first, and that meant that he had had time to prepare. That clearing could contain anything from an anti-phasing barrier to enough explosives to level a village. It was hard to tell with Orochimaru and it was always best to err on the side of caution.

The Zetsu clone reached the center of the clearing. Orochimaru looked up at it. For about half a minute, the two exchanged words. Tobi strained his ears, but the soft wind prevented the sound from carrying. He was tempted to use a jutsu, but judged it not worth the risk of Orochimaru picking up on it.

Abruptly, Orochimaru reached up and with a fluid motion broke the Zetsu's neck. The Sannin grinned and turned towards the place where Tobi was hiding, making a beckoning motion.

Well, there was no avoiding it. He needed Orochimaru's resources, and he wouldn't get them by running away.

Straightening his black cloak, Tobi walked out from behind the trees and strode out into the open space.

Orochimaru came to greet him. "Now what could I have possibly done to engender such mistrust? I would prefer to do business with your true form."

"I would appreciate it if you would display the same courtesy." Tobi's sharingan flashed into being.

A gigantic shuriken launched out of a space-distortion in front of him and span through the air at almost supersonic speed, taking Orochimaru in the throat. The man gurgled in disbelief, then his entire form melted into a brown puddle on the ground.

From the trees a short distance away, another Orochimaru appeared. "Impressive. Most people aren't..."

Tobi's sharingan flared into light once more, and Orochimaru's head was bisected by another shuriken. As before, the man's form simply melted into mud.

"Your true form." He announced to the darkness.

There was a chuckle and the slim form of yet another Orochimaru emerged from the ground a short distance to his right. "You really are... Ah."

The top half of the snake-man's entire body snapped backwards, and the third fuma shuriken Tobi had summoned into flight sailed harmlessly over him.

Orochimaru straightened. "_That_ was unnecessary."

"Merely making sure." Tobi replied.

Orochimaru looked over at the body of the Zetsu he had killed. "You know, it's been over a decade since I killed one of those. I believe they were trying to pass themselves off as daimyos at the time. Ah, memories."

Tobi shrugged. "Kill as many as you want. We always have more."

Orochimaru smiled at him. It was not a pleasant smile. "I might just take you up on that. Now, what alias are you going by these days? Madara Uchiha? Onisarashi? Anos? Monzaemon Chikamatsu, perhaps? As far as I know, you've never displayed any real talent with puppets, but perhaps with Sasori's help you could make it work."

Orochimaru had always known far too much for his own good. If Sasuke Uchiha hadn't killed him back in the original timeline, he or Nagato probably would have.

That said, his jibe about Sasori suggested that he didn't yet know that the puppeteer had abandoned his organisation. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"I'm known as Tobi." He said.

Orochimaru raised his eyebrows. "Tobi? Now, isn't that an interesting name? So tell me, what can I do for you, Tobi?"

"Partnership." Tobi replied.

Orochimaru seemed genuinely shocked by this. "...Partnership? Why? I can't imagine Itachi, Nagato or Sasori being very enthusiastic about the idea."

Time to lay all his cards on the table. If he held anything back, Orochimaru would know soon enough.

"Akatsuki is finished. Itachi, Sasori, Kakuzu, Nagato and Konan have left the organization. We are now known as Ketsueki Yuuyake." Tobi stated bluntly, keeping his tone emotionless and indifferent.

Orochimaru simply stared at him for a moment, then began laughing. "Ahahaha... Finished? It sounds more like they turned on you, Tobi. No wonder... Ahaha... you want my help. How many members do you have left now? Four? Three?"

"Five." Tobi answered.

"Five! How the mighty have fallen!" Orochimaru derided. "Of course, that doesn't answer the most pertinent question. What could I possibly hope to gain from such an agreement?"

Tobi straightened. "I have several..."

Orochimaru cut him off. "Let's have a head-count, shall we? I have an entire country at my disposal; shinobi, weapons, equipment. You, on the other hand, have lost just about everything. Itachi, Sasori and Nagato are gone, so you've lost your powerhouses. Kakuzu and Sasori were your financial manager and your spymaster respectively, so you've lost those too. You're down to yourself, Kisame and Deidara, plus whatever other dregs you manage to draw up. Not only that, but I have absolutely no interest in your goal of world domination. Oh, and you also can't even bait me with revenge, seeing the Leaf was destroyed about a week ago. Not looking good for you, is it?"

The Leaf had been... What?

What in god's name was Orochimaru talking about?

Orochimaru looked at him expectantly. Tobi didn't respond, his mind going over what the Sannin had so casually mentioned.

Konoha had been destroyed? Konoha had been _destroyed_?

How? When? By what?

Did he mean some sort of metaphorical death, the loss of some creed that members of the Leaf valued highly? No, something like that wouldn't be enough to satisfy someone like Orochimaru.

Orochimaru blinked. "You weren't aware? You didn't know, did you?"

Was the Sannin merely trying to mess with his head? It was possible, but he'd sounded genuinely happy when he'd mentioned it.

He would think more on this la... No. As soon as he was done here, he'd go and look at Konoha with his own eyes. He'd been out in the wilderness ever since he'd returned to the past. If something had happened to Konoha (or the other villages), it could... would be a game-changer.

For now, though, he had to devote all his mental energies to recruiting Orochimaru. To show personal weakness in front of the Sannin would be a severe misstep.

"Of course I am aware." He lied smoothly. "I was merely waiting to see if you wanted to interrupt me again. Now, I have three things to offer you."

"Go on." Orochimaru hissed, with false geniality.

Tobi raised a finger. "First, you would gain the backing of several extremely powerful S-ranked shinobi."

Orochimaru shrugged. "For what? I don't need them. With the Leaf destroyed, all I want to do is conduct my research. Next."

Tobi lifted his second finger. "Second, I can offer you sharingan. Multiple sharingan."

That seemed to pique Orochimaru's interest. "Sharingan, huh? As I'm sure you are aware, I already have two Sharingan under my control."

"Yes, _two _sharingan." Tobi interjected. "Two sharingan, which are currently resting in the eye sockets of Sasuke Uchiha. Two sharingan that you can't conduct any in-depth research on for fear of irreversibly damaging them. I'm offering you far more than two, Orochimaru. I severely doubt that you'll be able to find a supply like mine anywhere else. I suppose you could use Sasuke Uchiha as a breeding stud, but we both know just how time-consuming it can be to activate a sharingan."

Orochimaru seemed to think about it for a second. "... Tempting, but I'll pass. I've already taken genetic samples from Sasuke, and it shouldn't be too difficult to use them to manufacture Uchiha of my own. I'm not exactly pressed for time, you see. And the third?"

Under his mask, Tobi smirked. "An immortal."

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed. "An... immortal?"

Tobi nodded. "Your primary goal lies in seeking immortality, correct? You must be getting sick of having to transfer bodies every three years. I'm offering you an honest-to-god immortal. A man who can survive having his entire body torn apart and sewn back together. A man who doesn't age. Join Ketsueki Yuuyake and he's yours to do as you please."

He wasn't sure about the 'doesn't age' part, but Orochimaru didn't need to know that. It would be years before he noticed any distinctive signs of aging, and by that time it would be far too late to turn back.

Orochimaru raised his chin. "Show me this immortal of yours."

Tobi nodded and was about to call out into the darkness when the sound of steel clashing against steel echoed out of the forest. "It looks like someone else just found him."

Twenty seconds later, a silver-haired man in glasses leapt backwards into the clearing, hands surrounded by a blue glow. Tobi recognized him instantly.

Kabuto.

He had to restrain himself from killing the smarmy medic then and there. It was only the thought of the assets Orochimaru would bring to the table that stopped him from immediately summoning another shuriken and decapitating him. The Sannin would probably be much less agreeable if Tobi killed his dragon in front of him.

No, Kabuto could wait. As he was now, he was nothing more than an extremely talented medical ninja. In terms of skill, Tobi estimated that he was just below Hidan's level. He would make it one of his duties to ensure that Kabuto stayed that way.

The medic had a huge purple bruise on his face, but there were no cuts on his body. Apparently, Hidan hadn't been able to get his hands on Kabuto's blood yet.

"Yeeeee-haaaaaaw!"

And, speak of the devil, here was Hidan now.

A happy grin on his face, the other silver-haired, black-cloaked man leapt out after Kabuto, flying through the air with scythe posed for an overhand swing.

The medic darted to the side, and the blade of the scythe drove harmlessly into the ground. Hidan used the momentum from the leap to swing around the handle of his weapon and fire off a kick towards Kabuto. The medic raised his arms and absorbed the brunt of the impact there, sliding backwards across the rough earth.

Tobi looked to Orochimaru. The Sannin seemed perfectly happy to simply sit and watch. Well, that worked for him. He couldn't deal with Kabuto directly yet, but maybe Hidan could do the job for him...

Kabuto regained his bearings and ran forward, his hands alight with blue chakra. Hidan yanked the scythe out of the ground and met his charge. The zealot made a lazy swing at Kabuto, which the medic ducked. The bespectacled man made a lunge and drove his hands deep into Hidan's chest.

The zealot coughed up a glob of blood, but gave a savage grin. With Kabuto too close to properly use his scythe, Hidan instead swung his weapon in a loop and wrapped the thick cord around Kabuto's neck, grabbing the other end of the noose with his other hand. Kabuto looked up at him in shock. Apparently, he had expected the blow he had struck to kill Hidan, or at least disable him.

"Interesting." Orochimaru hissed.

Using one hand to tighten the rope around Kabuto's neck, Hidan used the other to pull a spike out of his cloak and draw it back for a strike. Choking and struggling for air, Kabuto drew in a strangled breath and exhaled a cloud of foul, green gas into Hidan's face. The zealot screamed and blindly drove his weapon forward. Kabuto slashed at the cord around his neck and leapt back, but not before the spike took him in the shoulder.

Both combatants took a moment to recover their bearings, Hidan to wipe the acid from his face and Kabuto to get his breath back. The spike that Hidan had used to stab Kabuto with was still impaled in the medic's flesh. Kabuto yanked it out with a grimace and held a hand covered in green chakra over the wound.

Before he could complete the process, however, Hidan was on him. The zealot charged at him in a deeply strange posture, almost as if he was trying to headbutt Kabuto. He was bent over low, with his head sticking out the front and arms trailing behind his back, like a child imitating a rhinoceros.

Seeing the target as one too tempting to ignore, Kabuto lashed out at Hidan's head with the closest thing to hand; Hidan's spike. There was a sickening crunch and the pole drove through one of Hidan's eye sockets. From its position, Tobi estimated that it had gone down through the roof of the zealot's mouth and into his throat.

The medic leapt to the side and let the body continue past him. Then, his eyes widened. Because, rather than falling to the ground in a bloodied heap, the body actually stopped its charge, straightened and turned around.

It made for a disturbing sight. For a second the zealot just stood there, with the spike driven damn-near vertically through his face, and grinned. Then, the man's formerly white skin began to darken and turn black, complete with an odd skeletal pattern. Hidan reached up and with a horrible squelching sound slowly pulled the spike out of his own skull. The zealot began laughing, a sound distorted by his damaged mouth and throat.

Hidan had purposefully impaled his head on his own spike, purely so that he could absorb Kabuto's blood into his own system. There was a twisted, almost spiteful brilliance to it.

Kabuto looked at Orochimaru with something resembling panic. The Sannin ignored his subordinate, staring at Hidan with an entranced look on his face.

Leaning over so that the blood that was pouring out of his head would drip onto the ground, Hidan used his foot to begin scrawling a pentagram onto the ground.

Kabuto just stood there in a defensive stance, preparing himself for Hidan's next attack.

The second Hidan completed his pentagram, Kabuto's left eye exploded in a spray of blood and he fell to his knees with a bloodcurdling scream.

Orochimaru's look of enraptured interest switched to one of concern. The Sannin's eyes flickered from Hidan to Kabuto, to the pentagram and back to Hidan again.

The zealot gave another laugh and raised his spike for a strike to his own heart.

With incredible speed, Orochimaru shot forward. A huge snake formed out of the Sannin's mouth and plowed into Hidan's chest. The zealot flew out of the circle and tumbled into the dirt. Orochimaru came to a stop next to Kabuto's body.

Hidan raised himself out of the dirt and got to his feet. He was about to charge at Orochimaru when Tobi stepped in front of him and raised a hand. "That's enough."

"Wha? Buth ou said..." Hidan protested, having trouble forming the words due to his now severely malformed mouth.

Tobi raised a finger and yet another shuriken appeared in front of him. Caught off guard, Hidan didn't have time to dodge as it span through the air and with an explosion of blood sliced the zealot's head clean off. The head tumbled to the ground with a meaty splat, followed by the rest of Hidan's body.

From it's position on the ground, facedown in the dust, the muffled swears of the head could be heard. "Huck ou! Hot he hell was hat hor?"

Orochimaru turned to look at him.

Tobi stared right back at him. "Sew the head back on and it's like nothing ever occurred. This is what I'm offering you. A chance to experiment on a true immortal. A shot at real immortality."

Orochimaru licked his lips. "I... And he's really immortal? Not a puppet?"

Tobi nodded. "Yes. Do we have a deal?"

Orochimaru's eyes held a sinister gleam. "And what's to stop me from simply killing you and taking your immortal for free?"

"You could try." Tobi's voice was soft, but contained untold malevolence. "But are you really sure that you'll be able to do so? Is it really worth the risk?"

Tobi didn't want to have to fight Orochimaru. He was pretty confident he could come out victorious, but killing the snake was not what he had come here to do. Besides, it was entirely possible that the Sannin had some trick up his sleeve that he hadn't heard about and he didn't want to take that risk.

Orochimaru was a cautious man, though. The man might have an impressive degree of background knowledge about him, but Tobi had always been meticulous about keeping the true extent of his combat abilities in the dark. Even here, the only technique he had used was his Kamui-shuriken combo. He was an unknown entity, and he doubted that Orochimaru would be willing to take the risk.

And, for the immediate future at least, his conjecture proved correct.

Orochimaru gave him a small, callous smile, hungry eyes fixed upon Hidan's head. "I think we have a deal, Tobi."

"Excellent. I'm trust you won't be offended if I don't want to shake on it?" Tobi said.

Orochimaru spread his hands wide. "Of course not. Now then, how shall we go about dealing with this?"

"In the short term, I have some pressing matters to deal with." Tobi announced. "For now, I'm going to take the head with me. You can have the body. You may want to get your subordinate cleaned up."

Tobi gestured to Kabuto, who was still writhing in pain on the ground. The medic seemed to be trying to stem the flow of blood with healing chakra, but the unbelievable pain he was in made such concentration difficult even for a ninja as skilled as Kabuto.

Orochimaru looked down at the writhing Kabuto with clinical apathy, then returned his gaze to Tobi. "Well, this has been a very productive evening. How would you like to work out the details of our arrangement?"

"I'll send a Zetsu to work out the specifics. I would appreciate it if you didn't kill this one." Tobi said.

"My, you do drive a hard bargain." Orochimaru replied sardonically. "I'll do my best, _partner_."

Tobi turned away from the snake and walked over to where Hidan's head lay in the dirt. He grabbed it by its hair and lifted it so that it was facing him.

"Muherhucker!" It lisped. "Hi'm hoing to... Hey! Hot hare hou hoing?"

Tobi reached into his coat and pulled out a needle and thread of ninja wire. "Something I've wanted to do for a long time."

xXx

_(Forests outside Konoha)_

Tobi's foot landed on the forest floor with a crunch. The man leaned back and breathed in deeply. The warm scent of moist earth and freshly-fallen rain assaulted his nostrils.

It had been a while.

He'd left Hidan's head (mouth sewn up) in his micro-dimension. Once he was satisfied that Orochimaru wasn't going to go back on the deal, the Sannin would get the head too.

The zealot hadn't killed Kabuto. He had, however, blown one of his eyes out and severely damaged the medic's skull. It was something.

Actually... he could use this. Kabuto would be needing a new eye, and Tobi still had a pair of explosive Rinnegan eyeballs in his possession. He'd need to wait until he built up some degree of trust first; it would seem incredibly suspicious if he were to offer something like this now, but he could wait.

That could wait until later, though. For now, he had to discern the meaning behind Orochimaru's words.

Using his own strength rather than chakra, Tobi stealthily scaled up one of the titanic trees. Konoha usually posted patrols, and it wasn't out of the question that there was a sensor among them who could detect his chakra usage.

After a minute or so of climbing, Tobi reached the top of the tree. It was early morning now, the sun having only risen recently. And, lit up by the morning sun like a New Year's lantern, was the great village of Konoha.

Except that there was something very odd about it. When looking at the village with his sharingan (he'd activated it before he'd entered Fire Country), Tobi could see that the entire village seemed to be covered in a strange, fuzzy glow. Someone was using genjutsu. A powerful one too, if the scope was anything to go by.

There were a couple of other oddities, too. The central square seemed to be filled with white tents, and the early-morning trains of trading carts that constantly travelled into Konoha were conspicuously absent.

Tobi raised his hands into the genjutsu dispersion sign. "Kai."

As he had expected, a jutsu as widespread as this one was stretched so thinly that he had no trouble breaking its hold over him. The whites, reds and browns which coloured the city rooftops disappeared instantly, to reveal...

The entire village had been painted black?

Wha... No. No, that wasn't it. Tobi reached into his coat, and pulled out a pair of mechanical binoculars.

There were no signs of life of any kin... No, wait, there was a group in the area next to the front gate. The white tents seemed to be real, too. Aside from that, though, there was no trace of the tens of thousands of people who occupied Konoha.

Squinting his eyes, Tobi noticed that there were odd black shapes lying in some of the streets. Tobi focused the binoculars on one of these shapes, eyes straining to try and identify it at such an extreme range.

It was a body. The body of a woman of unidentifiable age, curled up into the fetal position.

Tobi blinked a couple of times, as if having trouble fully comprehending what he was seeing.

A body. In the street. Not a genjutsu. Real.

Not painted. Dark. Shiny. _Stone_.

"_The Leaf was destroyed about a week ago."_

Resurrections. Time travel.

A town gone silent. A village with no signs of life and streets choked with bodies.

Konoha.

"Heh."

Tobi couldn't help himself. A small chuckle escaped from his lips.

"Heh. Heheheheh."

Konoha was... Konoha had been...

"HehehehAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Tobi leaned back, arms stretched upwards towards the heavens. For the first time in decades, Tobi laughed uncontrollably. He laughed and laughed and laughed, until tears ran down his cheeks. His ribs hurt, his breath ran out and still Tobi laughed.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Konaha was gone! The darkness was lifted! The Will of Fire, crushed! All the corruption, all the filth, washed away in a single night!

All the hypocrisy and lies and pious deceit, buried beneath a blanket of eternal stone! The refuse of humanity, frozen in an eternal moment of agony.

Even if he were to die this very instant, he would do so victorious. The cancer had been cleansed! He had won!

So Tobi just stood there and laughed, until he could laugh no more.

xXx

Tobi wasn't sure how long he stood there, looking out over the petrified village of Konoha. Eventually, the hysterical laughter quieted, then came to a stop. Growing tired of standing in the same place, the masked man sat himself down upon a large branch, drawing his cloak tight around him to protect himself from the cold.

Did he even... need Ketsueki Yuuyake anymore?

Konoha had been destroyed. The last link to his accursed past had been severed. He was a free man.

And now that that was true, Tobi found that he was actually questioning the wisdom of implementing the Eye of the Moon Plan.

Certainly, he had sunk decades of his life into it, but for what purpose? The cancer that had been infecting the world had already been destroyed. What would the advantage of putting Madara in charge of the world be? He certainly didn't like the man. Maybe it was possible to create a better world for all without placing everyone under an eternal genjutsu.

Well, there were always the other major villages, but those weren't as bad as Konoha was. Who knows, maybe they'd been destroyed like Konoha had been. Even if they hadn't, maybe it was possible to work with them instead of wasting his entire life in another pointless war. He doubted that there was village leader strong enough to stand against him if they drew his wrath.

But... Maybe he was being too idealistic. After all, wasn't it possible that another village would rise in Konoha's place? Another village of lies, sending generations of young shinobi to fight and bleed and die for its hypocritical goals. Perhaps the only true way to prevent that lay with the Eye of The Moon plan after all.

On the other hand, it was possible that a world under Madara would be even worse. The five great villages had united against him in the future. Maybe Ketsueki Yuuyake could act as a common enemy for the world to unify against.

Or... could he simply step back, and allow events to take their course. Maybe with Konoha gone, the world would finds its way on its own. He could vanish and...

Do what? He'd never even considered the idea.

An image of himself spending his days idly fishing next to a riverbed crossed his mind, and he couldn't help but laugh.

He was being overly idealistic, perhaps even quixotic. He couldn't simply retire. The idea was laughable. The world required his guidance. What remained was the decision on what form that guidance would take. To continue collecting the bijuu, or to find another way. This wasn't a decision to be undertaken li...

With a jolt, Tobi realized that he wasn't alone any longer.

At the base of a nearby tree, wandering about without a care in the world, were a group of three teenagers bearing Konoha headbands.

He'd been so caught up in his internal deliberations that he'd lost all sense of situational awareness. That was the sort of rookie mistake that could get him killed.

The three of them seemed to be alone. There was a dark-haired boy with a chuunin vest and a spiky ponytail, a platinum-blonde girl with a sleeveless purple blouse and matching skirt and a chubby looking boy with long brown hair, red-and-silver armour and red swirls on his face.

Tobi recognized two of the three instantly. The first was Shikamaru Nara, who had taken over command of one of the five Allied Shinobi Platoons during the Fourth Shinobi World War after the original commander had been killed. In the original timeline, Tobi had had him resurrected.

The second was one of the two Akimichi who had used their clan jutsu to take on the incomplete Demonic Statue of the Outer Path. Their assault had been unsuccessful, but they'd put up an impressive fight nevertheless.

The third... Tobi had no idea. As far as he knew, she'd never done anything noteworthy enough to warrant his attention.

The girl probably wouldn't be a problem, but the other two could prove a serious hindrance to his plans if left unchecked. They were Konoha ninja; no matter what course of action he took, Tobi had no doubt that Konoha ninja would oppose it.

Besides, Shikamaru had been in the cavern at the time when the extraction of the Kyuubi had gone haywire. There was a high chance that he had knowledge of the future, and that made him dangerous.

Best to kill Shikamaru and the Akimichi now, rather than risking them becoming a hindrance later on. It would probably be a good idea to kill the girl too; given time to fester, a thirst for vengeance could turn a formerly weak opponent into a force to be reckoned with.

There was no need to announce his presence. To do so would simply give the Nara time to strategize, and Tobi had learnt the hard way that doing so was the epitome of foolishness. In the short time that he had had control of a platoon, Shikamaru had proved a crafty and dangerous opponent.

Taking care to make no noise, Tobi phased down through the trunk of the tree. Reaching into his coat, Tobi pulled out a length of ninja wire and formed a loop.

Oblivious to the danger, Shikamaru was talking to the other two. "...large percentage of Konoha's forces are still most likely inbound. They should trickle in within the next week or so."

One strike. That was all it would take.

The three hadn't noticed his presence. Phasing his head and arms out of a tree directly behind the Nara, Tobi quietly raised the loop. Then with one quick motion, he slid the wire over the boy's head and neck and pulled back. Hard.

With a sickening crack, Shikamaru's neck snapped instantly.

The other two reeled back in shock, their hands reflexively going to their kunai pouches.

One down. Two to go.

xXx

**I might have lied about that foreshadowing thing.**

**So yeah, that happened.**

**Does Tobi's motivation for the Eye of the Moon Plan entirely revolve around the village of Konoha? Of course not. Tobi's motivation for trying to put everyone under a genjutsu is all about Rin, Kakashi and unresolved feelings of love, vengeance and hatred, coaxed to almost quixotic levels by Madara Uchiha.**

**The thing is, Tobi refuses to accept this. He **_**can't**_** accept this, because he's built up an entire identity around the idea that he's left 'Obito' and everything else in his past behind. That's what all that nihilistic talk about not caring about anything and his refusal to take of his mask is about; Tobi has effectively convinced himself that he and Obito are different people. What's more, on a subconscious level he knows he's convinced himself and needs to work constantly to maintain the illusion. **

**That's why he's having doubts about the Eye of the Moon Plan. If he admitted to himself that the real purpose behind his actions was to "create a better world where he, Rin and Kakashi can live happily", then he would fracture one of the central tenants of his personality. He can't do that, so he's having this little psychological drama.**

**Depending on how keyed-in you are, you might be surprised what people can convince themselves of. It's the same reason that, when people find themselves at the end of a long relationship, they'll suddenly start introducing themselves as asexual and posting links to songs like "I Don't Need a Man" or some male equivalent on their facebook wall. Humans are very good at self-deception, and those within the world of Naruto are no exception.**

**Anyway, the destruction of Konoha put Tobi in a good mood.**

**Don't interpret what I said about Ino as any sort of criticism. It's just that she hasn't really done anything that would grab Tobi's attention.  
**

**Up next time, everything (and I do mean everything) happens at once.**

**Once again, thanks to ElementKitsune for Beta-ing**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter B: For Bijuu!**

**Read and Review!**


	18. Chapter Eighteen: When It Rains

**21/4/2013 - 100 Reviews, 113 Favorites, 141 Followers**

Chapter Eighteen: When It Rains...

xXx

_(Earlier - Konoha Camp)_

It was approximately six hours too early that Shikamaru was awakened from his slumber.

The teenager groaned. "Mmmmggggggg."

Why? What awful gods would call such a terrible fate upon him?

A foot nudged his ribs. He was tempted to try and identify who it was, but that would involve opening his eyes.

No. Better to let his tormentor reveal it themselves when they spoke.

"Please, Shika, just get up."

That was Ino's voice. It was also so defeated, tired and un-Ino like that Shikamaru's eyes flashed open instantly to see what was wrong. His vision was filled with the haggard faces of his two teammates looking down at him.

With a jolt, Shikamaru remembered just where and when he was.

No, things weren't alright. Things would probably never be alright again.

"We're on gathering duty." Ino stated.

Shikamaru nodded and wordlessly rolled out of his sleeping bag, grabbing his gear. The teen got to his feet and pulled back the opening to his tent.

The last of the Nara stepped out into the frosty morning air, teeth chattering involuntarily. It was barely past dawn and the camp was quiet; the only other people that he could see were a couple of early-risers wandering aimlessly along the lines of silent white tents.

There were plans to move the camp out into the forest outside Konoha, but for now Jiraiya and Asuma had decided that it would be safer to remain inside the walls of the village, no matter how emotionally straining it might be. Under Jiraiya's instructions, a few of the shinobi had removed the stone bodies from the central square next to the gate. For the most part, the survivors simply spent their days idling purposelessly in the square, although a few brave souls had taken to wandering around Konoha proper.

Still, every day more of Konoha's ninja trickled in. They had well over sixty now, though their numbers paled in comparison to the thousands upon thousands that used to make up Konoha's forces.

The three of them slipped out of Konoha with as little fuss as possible. When they reached the gate, one of the guards gave them a tired salute. The other didn't even acknowledge their presence.

They walked out into the forest, making no sound save for the crunch of their shoes on the forest floor. Shikamaru took a deep breath. It had been raining recently and the air was heavy with the scent of moldering leaves and rotten wood. He supposed it was fitting, considering the nature of the last week's events.

When he'd first returned to the past, it had seemed like... it'd been a miracle. Asuma, Ino and Chouji were alive! All the tragedies of the future had yet to happen! Once he'd convinced himself that he wasn't already under the influence of the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Shikamaru had thrown himself into his strategizing, trying to figure out how best to utilize his knowledge of the future for the benefit of Konoha.

He'd just reached the point of figuring out how they were going to deal with Kisame Hoshigaki (pit him against the Land of Sky's Leader, send in Gai and Naruto to mop up the victor with Tenten and Kakashi acting as backup) when they reached Konoha. Once that happened, everything fell apart.

Shikamaru's parents had perished in the original timeline. He'd had ample time to grieve while he'd been reincarnated under Kabuto Yakushi's control and a certain cynical part of his brain had stopped him from fully accepting that they'd been resurrected until he saw them with his own eyes. For that reason, their deaths hadn't hit him as hard as they might have, although the grief was still tearing him up inside.

Ino and Chouji weren't so lucky, if you could describe it that way. When they'd arrived, Ino had run off headlong into Konoha's streets. When Shikamaru had finally tracked her down, he found her in Sakura's apartment, chatting happily to the stone body of her friend while she combed her own hair with so much force that it was actually drawing blood. Three times she'd disappeared in the night and each time Shikamaru had found her in Sakura's apartment, either talking nonsense or sobbing her eyes out.

Chouji had been similarly shaken. The boy had retreated within his shell and would spend entire days not talking to anyone. Chouji hadn't done anything overtly worrying, at least not in the way that Ino's actions were, but there was something about his manner that was troubling.

Despite their disparities in behaviour, Shikamaru found himself more worried about Chouji's mental state than Ino's. While she had a tendency to be something of a loud, distractible ditz, Ino had always had a core of steel, an unshakable confidence that she possessed even now, though it was smothered under layers of grief. Chouji, though, had never had that. Shikamaru loved him like a brother, but reality forced him to admit that Chouji had always been fragile. Losing his parents had driven him to the brink and if he suffered another loss like this one, the chubby boy's psyche could break entirely.

Shikamaru turned his head to look at his two teammates. Neither met his gaze, eyes fixed blankly on the ground as they contemplated internal worlds of their own.

God, he missed the old banter. It was selfish of him, but right now he'd give anything for a return to their usual dynamic. Just for a couple of minutes.

He wondered how they would respond if they knew he was from the future. Would they accept it, or would they treat him like a stranger? They might even believe that, in coming to the past, he had erased the Shikamaru of this timeline from existence. Worse, they might be right.

It had been plaguing his conscience for a while now. When he'd returned to the past, what had happened to the original Shikamaru? Had their consciousnesses merged somehow, or had he simply vanished? Shikamaru suspected the former. Occasionally he had trouble separating the strings of recent memory and he found himself recalling recent events that he had forgotten in the original timeline. Still, there was no way of knowing for sure.

Of course, going down that chain of thought led him to a disturbing conclusion. The original Chouji and Ino, the ones that he had known in the future, were gone. All the shared experiences and tribulations that had occurred between now and the outbreak of the Fourth Shinobi World War had been erased from existence and for someone as sharp as Shikamaru, their absence had a noticeable effect on his teammates' personalities. It was subtle and often he couldn't even tell the difference, but it was there.

"I don't get what Naruto's deal is."

Shikamaru stopped in surprise and turned. That had come from Ino. The blonde stopped too, suddenly uncomfortable under the scrutiny.

"Y'know? It's just... like..." She said haltingly, as if having trouble figuring out the right way to put her words. "He's always, y'know, smiling and laughing. It's like it doesn't affect him. Like... he doesn't care."

Her tone was confused and vaguely accusatory. Surprisingly, it was Chouji who spoke up first.

"I don't think that's right, Ino." The chubby boy said. "I think it does affect him. I saw one of his clones crying once, when it thought nobody else was around. I'm not sure, but I think he's doing it for us."

"Chouji's right, Ino. He's doing it to try and keep our spirits up." Shikamaru clarified. "Naruto has pretty much become the village's moral support, the one who keeps smiling no matter what. It might come across as inappropriate, but he really does have the village's best interests at heart. I wouldn't be so quick to label it as apathy."

Ino stared at him for a long moment, then her eyes returned to the ground. Shikamaru considered trying to maintain the conversation, then thought better of it. Turning away, he started walking again. Right now, what both of his friends needed was their own space. Neither seemed to be in the mood for any sort of extended conversation.

Chouji had hit the nail right on the head, though. Right now, all of Naruto's smiles were for the benefit of others. Somehow, the blonde had essentially become the 'heart' of the village and despite the guilt and sadness that plagued his soul, Naruto continued to smile.

Which was going to make it all the more difficult to convince him to leave.

Shikamaru had thought long and hard about it, and there was only one viable option. From a strategical standpoint, it was simply too dangerous to remain in Konoha. As they were, they simply did not have the manpower to ward off an attack by any major military force. Besides the obvious danger of Akatsuki, Konoha had come under threat many times between the present time and the Fourth Shinobi World War. The return of the Land of Sky, Kazuma's campaign against the Hokage, that former Konoha ninja who had tried to assimilate kekkei genkai, the demon Moryo, Kusagakure's Flower Group, all had posed significant threats to Konoha's security at one time or another even while the village was at full strength. Konoha had made a lot of enemies during its time as the strongest of the Five Great Villages, and now those enemies would come crawling out of the woodwork looking for revenge.

As terrible a loss of human life as it was, the destruction of Kumogakure and Iwagakure was actually of sizable strategic benefit to the Leaf. The international ill-will against Konoha was nothing compared to what most of the shinobi world felt against those two and most countries would probably vent their frustration on the remaining Stone or Cloud shinobi first before going for the Leaf. Kumo and Iwa had really been the threats that Jiraiya and Asuma had been most concerned about, and thair destruction had resulted in the Konoha shinobi forgoing Jiraiya's original plan of leaving within five days. It was only a temporary respite, though. Eventually, they were going to have to leave.

Shikamaru felt a soft tap on his shoulder and turned to see Chouji standing behind him. The chubby boy pointed to the base of a tree. There was a small bird lying on the ground, a tiny baby daurian redstart.

It must have fallen from somewhere. Shikamaru looked up at the trees above, but couldn't see a nest.

Chouji scooped up the redstart in his hands and without a word began wandering off through the trees, his eyes fixed upon the canopy above. Apparently, he wouldn't be satisfied until he put it back. Shikamaru and Ino followed, both trying their best to spot the place where the bird had fallen from.

Ino shot him a glance of mild exasperation. Shikamaru merely shrugged. The three continued in silence.

Ten minutes of fruitless searching later, they still hadn't found where the redstart had fallen from. Shikamaru cleared his throat. "Chouji, we don't really have time for this."

Chouji ignored him, not even acknowledging that he had spoken. Shikamaru gave a sigh and continued to follow. Ino said nothing.

Half an hour later, they finally spotted the nest, tucked secretly in the bough of a tree. Chouji chakra-walked up the tree, placed the bird in its nest and spent the next five minutes adjusting the edges to that the chick wasn't going to fall out again. Then, the Akimichi leapt down, dusted himself off and stepped into line behind Shikamaru as if nothing had happened.

Shaking his head slightly, Shikamaru resumed his march. As heartening as it was to see that Chouji's sense of kindness had survived the tragedy, he couldn't help but be concerned about him. It pained him to admit it, but Chouji had never been a big-picture thinker, never been able to see the forest for the trees. There was no doubt at all in his mind that if Ino hadn't spotted the nest when she had, Chouji would happily have spent the entire day searching for it. His compassion was admirable, but Asuma had given them an important mission. In the end, providing food and medicinal herbs for the people of Konoha had to come before the good of a single baby bird.

He felt like the biggest asshole for saying so, but Chouji's kindness had already gotten them killed once. In the future, he had been unable to accept the reality of having to fight his teacher, and all three of them had died as a result. With the world in the state that it was now, there was a very real possibility that the same thing could happen again.

How the hell was he supposed to tell Chouji that, though? 'You need to stop being so kind to everything and think harder about the repercussions of your actions'? God, things were uncomfortable enough between them already. And there was already...

Stepping around a tree, Shikamaru noticed something that made his breath catch in his throat. Immediately, his mind snapped out of introspection and entered panic mode.

There, sitting high up on one of the branches of a tree, was the leader of Akatsuki. The _goddamn_ _leader of Akatsuki_, with his legs dangling over the side of the branch as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Snapping back, Shikamaru yanked his teammates backwards behind the tree and raised his hands into the clone seal. With a tiny puff of smoke, three clones appeared, two of which immediately henged into Chouji and Ino. Making some urgent signs with his hands, Shikamaru took off like a bat out of hell towards Konoha, followed closely by a bewildered Chouji and Ino.

An S-Rank ninja like Tobi would have noticed his presence the instant he came within a hundred meters of the man. He had no idea whether it was possible to fool someone like Akatsuki's leader with a henge, but the shadow clones might at least buy them a few seconds.

Shikamaru darted through the huge trees, zig-zagging from side to side to throw off pursuit while trying to make as little noise as possible. Ino spoke up. "When did..."

Shikamaru made a furious silence motion with his hands. Ino nodded, then signed '_Since when do you know shadow clones? Why are we running?_'

'_Picked up from Naruto. Akatsuki leader. Run.'_ Shikamaru signed back. Ino paled and picked up the pace.

A few seconds later, Shikamaru winced as he felt the phantom feeling of having his neck broken. A second after that, and he received the memories of having his other two clones stabbed in the throat with kunai.

'_He's coming.'_ He signed to Chouji and Ino.

The trees blurred by as they shot through the forest. Half a minute passed, and there was still no sign of their enemy. Shikamaru was just starting to think that they might have escaped when there was a sudden burst of heat. A titanic wall of orange flames appeared in front of them, blocking their path. The forest around them was instantly set alight, the gigantic trees burning and hissing as if in pain.

Akatsuki's leader emerged from the flames in front of them, completely unscathed.

Shikamaru yanked out a kunai with a small explosive tag attached to the hilt and tossed it at Tobi, angling it so that the Akatsuki leader could easily catch it if he wanted to (experience had taught him that S-Rank ninja enjoyed showing off). The masked man failed to take the bait, allowing the kunai to sail through him and explode harmlessly in the fire behind.

Chouji moved in front of his two teammates, arms spread defensively.

The Akatsuki member raised his chin. "If it makes you feel any better, you may take comfort in the fact that I don't have anything against you personally."

With a speed that rivaled Guy, Tobi lunged forward, flipping over Chouji's shoulder and landing next to Shikamaru. Before any of Team Ten's members could even think about reacting, Tobi was on the offensive, a kunai in each hand driving towards Shikamaru and Ino's heads.

Unable to react in time, Shikamaru could do nothing but watch as the blade drove towards his right eye. The passage of time seemed to slow to a crawl.

The kunai was a meter away from his eyeball.

Then half a meter.

Then thirty centimeters.

Then ten.

Suddenly, the world around him was alight with a bright blue glow. The blade of the weapon entered his eye... and went straight through, followed by the rest of an arm. Tobi finished his swing and leapt backwards, leaving the three of them unharmed.

The bright light faded and Shikamaru turned to see a black, demonic creature with a white and yellow mask for a face hanging from a tree nearby, blue lightning still crackling around its mouth.

Shikamaru could have identified the creature in his sleep. It was one of the mask-things belonging to the Akatsuki member Kakuzu. The Akatsuki member had directed the lightning around Shikamaru's body, forcing Tobi to give up his attack or risk being electrocuted.

Kakuzu had saved him? Why on earth...

A pair of arms fastened themselves around his waist, yanking him into the air. Shikamaru looked to the side to see a blue-haired woman in a black cloak with gigantic paper wings floating behind him, carrying him up into the sky. Another two copies of the woman were doing the same for Chouji and Ino.

Konan too? What the hell was going on?

Konan settled down on the branch of a nearby tree (one of the ones that wasn't on fire), releasing him. Chouji and Ino were placed nearby in a similar fashion. Below, Kakuzu had emerged from the trees and was facing off against Tobi. The figures that had carried him and Chouji dissolved into swirls of paper, swirls that were then absorbed into the Konan behind Ino.

There was only one plausible explanation for this.

"You've come back too, haven't you?" He asked, sticking to generalizations so as not to alert Chouji and Ino.

Konan turned to look at him with mild surprise, then nodded. "Stay here. Do not interfere."

The blue-haired woman flew down, coming to a stop next to Kakuzu. The masked man cocked his head to the side.

"Kakuzu? Now this is a surprise." Tobi said, with an odd good humor. "I would have thought that you at least were loyal to Akatsuki's cause."

"That was before I became aware of your idiotic Eye of the Moon stratagem." Kakuzu retorted. "Additionally, I am currently under contract."

"Ah, well, you can't win everything." Tobi said. "Give Pain my best."

The air around Tobi began to morph into the telltale swirl of the Akatsuki leader's teleportation jutsu. Konan raised her hands and Tobi was forced to cancel the jutsu and dive to the side to avoid being eviscerated by a wave of razor-sharp paper.

Konan stepped forward. "You are not going to escape us so easily."

xXx

_Awaken._

_Awaken, Kakashi Hatake._

Kakashi's eyes flicked open.

He was in a tent. A white tent. He was lying in a hospital bed.

There was a translucent figure floating above him; a pale, white-haired man in a beige coat with red eyes and the lower part of his face wrapped in bandages. The man's hands moved up and down in lazy arcs.

The voice came again. _Mount Shumisen. Come._

All of a sudden, the figure seemed to distort. Its eyes grew larger and its body began contorting into strange shapes.

_Come, Shumisen, Comemu Shum Sen Hakake Aka Senaki Kashumisen!_

The voice became distorted and strange. A fierce pain shot through his body, setting his nerves aflame. An odd pressure formed around his left eye, sealing it shut. The world around him took on an odd red sheen.

His right eye settled on the dark-haired boy lying asleep in a bed to the right.

_Enemy._

xXx

An ear-splitting detonation rang out from deep in the forest, followed by several smaller explosions.

Naruto, Jiraiya and Asuma leapt from tree to tree, followed by a squad of six other Leaf ninja.

The sentries at the gate had been roused from their routine by a huge sheet of flame that had sprung up seemingly out of nowhere several kilometers out in the forest, followed by a series of crackles, explosions and several other extremely loud sounds. Naturally, Jiraiya had gathered up the strongest shinobi he had on hand and headed out immediately.

Another gigantic fireball appeared on the horizon, followed by a geyser of water higher than the tallest trees in the forest.

"What the fuck is causing that?" One of the shinobi behind them yelled.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Jiraiya yelled back. "Stop asking stupid questions and...Whoa!"

A beam of lightning, somehow wrapped in a blanket of compressed air, lasered its way through the foliage from the direction that the explosions were happening in, nearly taking Jiraiya's arm off.

The Leaf shinobi dropped low to the ground, judging it wiser to make the rest of the journey on stable ground. A minute later, they arrived at the source of the noise.

A huge section of Konoha's forest had been reduced to a fiery, ruined hell-pit. Gigantic fallen tree-trunks blazed merrily, choking the air with smoke and dust. Puddles of water and bits of paper lay in the areas that weren't on fire. The very earth itself was blackened and charred.

And leaping among the wreckage, tossing S-Rank jutsu around like kunai, were three Akatsuki members.

As Naruto watched, Tobi ran up the trunk of a tree even as it collapsed underneath him, hands flashing through seals. Kakuzu's fire-mask appeared from the smoke at the tree's base and released a gout of flame.

Tobi leapt high into the air, the tree disintegrating underneath him. As he flew through the air, Konan appeared above him and homed in like a missile. Tobi phased out, allowing the woman and her paper blades to pass through him harmlessly.

Konan swung around for another attack. The masked man raised his hands and a dozen shuriken came into existence and shot towards Konan. The woman dissolved into paper and reformed once the shuriken had passed through her, continuing her charge.

Tobi's hands blurred through seals and raised a hand to his mouth. A huge wave of fire came out of his mask, somehow traveling straight through the material.

A bat-like mask-creature composed of an odd black material flew up and spewed out a thick stream of water that intercepted the Katon attack, putting it out instantly. The fire threat nullified, Konan dived in again, a blade of paper forming in her left hand.

Rather than phasing out again, Tobi caught the attack on his right, the blade apparently burying itself in his arm. The limb seemed to quiver, then metamorphosed into a tentacle composed of dozens of thin tendrils of wood. The tendrils burst apart and began wrapping themselves around Konan's arm, making their way up to her body.

Konan swung at Tobi with her free arm and a number of razor-sharp paper projectiles emerged from other parts of her body and shot towards Tobi, forcing him to become intangible again. Konan flew backwards, freed from his grasp.

Tobi spun around, preparing himself for landing. Kakuzu was waiting a short distance away from where he would land, electricity and wind masks prepared for a devastating combination attack. Tobi phased out, allowing the massive attack to simply pass through him.

The former leader of Akatsuki turned to see the Konoha squad watching the conflict occurring. Upon doing so, Tobi seemed to loose all interest in the fight he was having with Kakuzu and Konan. The masked man drew himself up and with deliberate casualness began walking straight towards them.

Above, Konan released another set of paper blades. The weapons passed through him harmlessly. Kakuzu tried the same, firing off a stream of lightning that went straight through his head. Tobi didn't even break stride.

The mastermind responsible for Akatsuki, Jiraiya's death and the Fourth Shinobi World War finally came to a stop, barely a meter from Naruto. The blonde raised his chin and stared him down.

Finally, Tobi spoke. "You wouldn't be able to convince these two to stop all this nonsense, would you? I'm having such a nice day, it would be a shame to spoil it with the murder of two dear former comrades."

Naruto blinked. That was... not what he had expected the man to say.

Tobi turned to look up one of the trees. "You can come down from there now. It should be obvious that I'm not going to try anything with Jiraiya of the Sannin, the Kyuubi jinchuriki and my two rebellious former subordinates here."

At Tobi's words, Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji leapt down behind the Konoha ninja, weapons at the ready.

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been worried about them for a second there.

"What? Nothing to say?" Tobi asked in an oddly cheerful tone. "Well, I'd best be off then."

Konan settled down to the man's right, another paper blade ready. "Like I said, you're not going to be able to leave that easily. Nagato and I have been paying attention to you. Whenever you suck yourself in, you have to materialize yourself first."

Tobi turned his head to her. "What? You believe that you can prevent me from materializing any part of my body for the whole fifty minutes?"

"Five." She corrected.

"Five, fifty, it's all the same." Tobi said with a shrug. "Without preparation, you're never going to be able to manage it. You always had a thing for calculations, Konan. Think about it. All that's going to happen is that I'll kill a couple of you before I go. Maybe it'll be the child whose pathetic dreams you have placed so much faith in."

Upon hearing Tobi's statement, Naruto gave a snort.

Tobi turned back to him. "You find something amusing?"

"Actually, yeah, I do." Naruto replied with a smirk. "Pathetic dreams? Really? That's the best that you can do?"

"And what do you mean by that?" Tobi asked.

"Well, it's just... 'pathetic dreams'?" Naruto said. "I've had people dismiss my dreams all my life, Tobi. I've been derided and mocked to my face literally hundreds of times and do you know what the crazy thing is? My Will of Fire only burns brighter as a result."

That seemed to strike a chord within Tobi. The aura of good humor that surrounded the man vanished instantly. "Will of Fire? The Will of Fire is dead, crushed. It died with your village."

Naruto turned to Jiraiya, laughing. "Can you believe this guy, Ero-Sennin? He actually thinks the Will of Fire has been crushed!"

Jiraiya smirked. "Utterly crazy, Naruto."

"Actually, do you know what?" Naruto raised his hands as if he'd just had a brilliant idea. "Let's have a head-count! Who here thinks that the Will of Fire has been crushed? C'mon, don't be shy!"

Naruto turned to look at the shinobi behind him. A couple of them were chuckling. None had raised their hands.

Naruto turned back to Tobi. "Looks like it's unanimous, Tobi! The majority seems to disagree! I suppose you might think so, but there's always one. And you really are only one, aren't you? Because by the looks of it, everyone else has left and a guy like you can't have that many precious people to lose. You're alone, Tobi. A lonely little man, trying to validate his existence with war and death."

"Your village is destroyed! It's people are dead! Konoha is gone!" Tobi growled, his hands actually shaking with apparent rage.

"No." Naruto's eyes were alight with passion. "Konoha lives on. It lives on within me, within Ero-Sennin, within every Konoha shinobi who bears the Leaf! That is my belief, the belief that I inherited from Tsunade and Sakura and every Konoha shinobi who died that night! No matter what pain I face, that belief will never waver! Maybe not this generation, maybe not for a hundred years, but Konoha will rise again! That's a promise!"

The masked Akatsuki member suddenly went very still. "I see. Then I will make it my personal mission to prevent such an occurrence from happening. The cancer of the Leaf will not return to corrupt this land. Konoha dies with you, Naruto."

With that, Tobi activated his teleportation jutsu. Konan began moving to intercept.

Naruto raised a hand. "Don't. He's right, we won't be able to deal with him as we are."

Best to let him go now before he changed his mind. He'd come up against Tobi's intangibility technique before, and he'd seen how powerful it could be. Sure, ninja like Jiraiya and Kakuzu could probably hold their own to the point that it became a stalemate, but there was nothing stopping Tobi from simply walking into Konoha and materializing just long enough to toss a couple of explosive tags into a few groups of civilians.

Konan obeyed his instructions and stayed her hand. Kakuzu did likewise. Within a couple of seconds, Tobi had disappeared completely.

Naruto gave a deep breath, and turned to address Konan and Kakuzu. "Now then..."

Suddenly, the sound of running footsteps came from the direction of Konoha. A second later, an agitated Rock Lee came sprinting into the clearing. "Jiraiya, sir! Asuma, sir! A group of Suna ninja has appeared to the east of Konoha. There are at least eighty of them!"

A second later, a small green toad shot out of the foliage and landed on Jiraiya's shoulder. "Jiraiya-boy! The Hatake boy has gone insane! He's out in the forests trying to kill those two Mist ninja!"

Naruto's eyes widened.

Jiraiya froze for a second, then began barking orders. "Naruto, take Shikamaru and go deal with the Kakashi situation. Asuma, you go deal with the Suna ninja. You nine go with him. I'll handle things here. And for the love of god, be careful."

The Leaf ninja nodded and ran off into the forest towards their various objectives. Fukasaku leapt up onto Naruto's shoulder.

The blonde groaned. What happened to the days when bad things happened one at a time?

xXx

**No, I'm not going to kill off Team 10. Not like that, anyway. To do so in such a manner would serve no purpose. For now, the people of Konoha have already had their fill of grief and adding more bodies to the pile right now wouldn't add anything to the story except more bodies and grieving scenes. And we've had plenty of those already.**

**Considering just how useful it is, Shikamaru getting Naruto to teach him Kage Bunshin doesn't seem unlikely, and I doubt he'd have much trouble learning it. Assume that he was already aware of what the huge chakra drain was going to feel like and didn't think it worth commenting on. **

**I stopped using honorifics (-san, -kun, -sensei etc) so as to keep things consistent. I don't regret it per-say, but it does get irritating sometimes and my attempts at translation (Jiraiya-san - Jiraya, sir) can be awkward. **

**So next chapter we have Suna ninja, Jiraiya meeting with Konan and Kakuzu and an apparently insane Kakashi trying to kill Haku.**

**Well... sort of.**

**Do any of you really care which comes first? I should be able to fit them all into the next chapter, but I might end up only being able to fit two of them without it going overboard.**

**If any of you can figure out what the hell is wrong with Kakashi, then you will receive kudos. And everyone loves kudos!**

**Except Bob. I hate that guy.**

**Once again, a fairly short fight scene, but I can't in good faith kill off any more main characters in the Opening Arc. Also, I may be lying about that. But probably not. Seriously, we've lost, what, 60% of the ninja world? Anyway, it's a lot.**

**But once this story reaches Shadow of Konoha, things will happen. Explody things.**

**Oh yeah, don't forget that in this canon Ino was dead long before Tobi got around to the Juubi-resurrection stage, so he really does have no idea who she is.**

**We're going back to dealing with the Konoha kids for a bit.**

**We're now officially longer than the first Harry Potter book! And still in the first arc! Hmm.**

**Thanks once again to ElementKitsune for betaing.**

**Also, exciting news! As of last chapter, we finally broke 100 reviews! Huzzuh! At this rate, we only have another 162 chapters to go before we break 1000! I, for one, cannot wait.**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter I: For Itachi!**

**Read and Review!**


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Dangerous Ideologies

******8/5/2013 - 111 Reviews, 120 Favorites, 146 Followers**

**Chapter Nineteen: Dangerous Ideologies**

xXx

_(Konoha Camp)_

_Rustle. Rustle._

From somewhere to Zabuza's right, the sounds of movement could be heard.

_Rustle. Rustle._

It sounded like…

_Creak._

…Someone was getting out of a bed.

Zabuza gave a mental sigh. Hopefully it was Haku and not Hatake. Maybe Haku would be able to wake him up.

_Creak._

For the past week, ever since the Night of Stone, Zabuza had been in a coma.

He knew this because, despite being unable to so much as lift a finger, he had been conscious and aware of his surroundings the entire time.

_Rustle._

As a result of this, Zabuza had been privy to several extremely confidential conversations that had, for some reason, been conducted around his seemingly unconscious body.

_Thud._

That was too heavy to be Haku's. Either Hatake or some other patient that nobody had mentioned, then.

_Thud. Thud._

The footsteps were travelling away from him. Towards where Haku was still asleep, if the soft breaths that he could hear were any indication.

_Rustle._

Wait.

There had been... something different about that particular sound.

The previous noises had been the sounds of blankets moving, beds creaking, clothes rustling. Benign. That last one had had something familiar in it. Something dangerous.

_Thud. Thud._

Something being lifted?

_Thud. Thud._

Something being drawn?

_Thud. Thud._

The last sound many shinobi made, just before the Silent Killing technique brought an end to their life.

_Thud._

The sound of a kunai being drawn.

Who the _fuck _left kunai in a medical tent!?

Zabuza's eyes shot open open. Kakashi Hatake was standing over Haku's defenceless body, kunai drawn back to strike!

With a roar of anger, Zabuza leapt out of his bed and smashed Kakashi across the face as hard as he could with his manacled fists. The man was sent flying back in the wall of the tent, bringing the whole cloth construction down around them.

As he did so, Zabuza noticed that one of Kakashi's eyes was glowing bright red. His right eye, not his Sharingan eye.

Zabuza reached down and lifted Haku out of his bed as best he could. His hands were still restrained by a pair of thick metal cuffs, which also seemed to be inscribed with chakra-repressor seals. Thankfully, the people who had been on watch at the tent had left in a hurry and forgotten to re-shackle his legs.

They hadn't been kind enough to leave his sword lying around. He could deal with that later, though. Right now, the primary objective was getting out of here.

Feeling his way to the exit (with Haku clasped firmly in his arms), Zabuza pushed his way outside. He was in the petrified main square of Konoha, surrounded by rank upon rank of white tents. Around him, people were milling everywhere in confusion and panic. Somewhere in the distance, the sound of explosions could be heard. No one seemed to be paying him much attention.

Behind him, the point of a kunai pierced one of the walls of the tent and began slicing its way through.

Time to go.

Turning, Zabuza began running, in the opposite direction to the explosions. His muscles, slightly degraded from a week of disuse, protested painfully, though not enough to hamper him in any major fashion. Quickly leaving the main square, the former mist ninja found himself fleeing headlong through the stone streets of the Leaf Village. It was disconcerting, to say the least. All around him, petrified bodies lay in positions of torment. A couple seemed to be reaching out towards him, faces wracked with agony.

Zabuza risked a quick look over his shoulder. Kakashi had escaped the collapsed tent and had started to run, eyes fixed upon him and Haku. The swordsman redoubled his efforts, pushing himself forward. He couldn't just run around the dead streets of Konoha. He needed to get out over the walls. With chakra? Easy. Without it, the task suddenly became much, much harder.

Scanning his environment, Zabuza spotted a large building situated next to one of the walls. Changing course, the swordsman turned down a main street that led towards it, having to slow his speed slightly so as not to trip over the hundreds of stone bodies lining the broad avenue.

Whirling around a corner, Zabuza turned to see Kakashi flying through the air towards him, kunai in hand. With both his hands occupied, Zabuza lashed out with the only free appendage high enough to have any effect. Leaping to meet the charge, Zabuza caught his enemy with a brutal headbutt to the sternum. Kakashi was sent tumbling backwards, righting himself in mid-air and coming to land in the street behind.

There was definitely something wrong with Kakashi. His gaze, thought intent, was devoid of intellect. His Sharingan eye was closed. Zabuza thought he could see a little bit of drool trickling out of one of the corners of the man's mouth. Plus, Kakashi hadn't made a single noise the entire time that he'd been chasing them. It seemed to be slowing him down too, it had taken the Konoha shinobi far longer to find them than it should have.

That said, Zabuza didn't fancy his chances in taking Kakashi on one-on-one. On all three of the occasions that they had clashed, the copy ninja had come out on top. With no chakra, no sword and restrained hands, he didn't like his chances.

Spinning around, Zabuza sprinted down a back alley, deftly avoiding a huge pile of stone garbage. Behind them, Kakashi began slowly making his way through a series of hand-seals. A huge fireball appeared at the mouth of the alley, flying down towards Zabuza at high velocity. Putting on a burst of speed, Zabuza reached the end of the alley just as the fire began to singe his back. The swordsman leapt out of the way just in time, allowing the fireball to shoot by him and explode harmlessly on a nearby wall.

A minute later, Zabuza finally reached the building he had spotted, Kicking in the stone doorway, Zabuza found himself in the lobby of an apartment block. Spotting the stairwell, the swordsman raced up the flights of stairs, feet clattering loudly on the stone.

Kicking open another door, the swordsman emerged onto the roof of the building. About twenty meters away he could see the top of the walls.

Twenty meters. That was one hell of a jump.

Taking a few seconds to prepare himself, Zabuza moved to the other end of the rooftop. The swordsman sprinted forward and launched himself high into the air. Flying through the air, Zabuza's foot landed right on the edge of the stone wall. The swordsman landed awkwardly, the momentum from his jump almost carrying him off the other side. Righting himself just in time, Zabuza narrowly avoided a fall that would probably have spelled his demise.

He was halfway there. Konoha's walls connected to their Hokage Monument, which had numerous access ramps. From there, it would be possible to make his way down out of the village through the hidden passageways that Jiraiya had mentioned at one point.

With all the enthusiasm of a funeral came words that sent chills down his spine. **"Katon: Great Dragon Targeted Fire Technique."**

Spinning around, Zabuza realized that Kakashi had joined him on the walls and was running through seals. A dragon-shaped inferno appeared in front of the copy ninja, the intense heat distorting the air around it.

Fuck!

The dragon seemed to grin at him.

Taking a deep breath, Zabuza tightened his grip around Haku and launched himself off the wall, angling himself towards a tree a significant distance below. Behind him, the dragon sailed along the wall and shot through the space that he had previously occupied. The swordsman's legs slammed into the tree branch at punishing speed, sending painful vibrations up his body.

The dragon wasn't done yet. The fire construct righted itself and turned to face him, then shot towards him like a kunai,

Ignoring the torment that his legs were in, Zabuza kicked himself off the branch he was on and slid down to the ground. Behind him, the dragon gained speed. The swordsman began running through the huge trees, zigzagging between the trunks. Once he was reasonable distance from the walls, Zabuza slowed his pace slightly, switching his focus from speed to stealth. The dragon consumed the branch that he had been standing on, then came to a stop, as if confused.

Through the now burning foliage, Zabuza saw Kakashi leap down off the walls. A couple of seconds later, the dragon began moving again, heading directly towards his position.

"Oh for god's sake!" Zabuza yelled in frustration.

Taking off at full speed again, the swordsman ran through the forest. The dragon followed him doggedly, deftly avoiding any obstacles that could block its path. With the fire creature hot on his heels, Zabuza found himself running up a small incline. Reaching the top, Zabuza flung himself over the crest and dropped to the ground, using the small hill as a barrier. The creature shot overhead, singing his skin as it went.

Looking around, Zabuza spotted a pair of huge trees entwined around each other. There was a small gap at the base, just large enough for him to fit. The swordsman took off, making a beeline for the hole. Behind him, the dragon turned for another attack. Reaching the trees only a couple of seconds before the dragon, Zabuza tossed Haku through the hole and then launched himself headfirst. Behind him, the construct slammed onto the trees in an explosion of hellfire. The massive plants shook, but remained standing.

Panting, Zabuza forced himself to his feet. Haku lay in front of him, sprawled in the dirt. Groaning, the swordsman reached down to pick the boy up.

The sound of chirping birds filled his ears.

Zabuza's eyes widened. Kakashi Hatake was running towards him, hand alight with crackling blue energy. Chidori_._ He was hemmed in to the left, the right and back. If he jumped, Kakashi would simply follow him. He had no weapons, no method of defence and no escape. He was...

No. There was one way. If he used Haku as a human shield, the boy's body would absorb the attack and he could wrap his manacles around Kakashi's throat and snap the man's neck.

But to do such a thing... After all, he'd...

No. There was no other way. If he didn't, then they'd both die. This way, he'd survive and Haku would at least have a fighting chance.

The boy had willingly accepted his role as his tool. He'd already thrown himself in front of Kakashi's attack twice. It was what Haku would want.

Kakashi drew closer and closer, hand outstretched. Zabuza prepared to throw the child in his hands into the Chidori, ready to lash out the instant the attack was spent. The sound of the Chidori became overwhelming, blocking out everything save the chirping of birds.

Closer... Closer...

"_You have the same eyes as me, Mister."_

Goddamn it!

An instant before Kakashi's attack hit Zabuza span around and cradled Haku to his chest, exposing his back to the full force of the Chidori.

'_Splat!'_

Wha...?

No pain.

Slowly turning his head, Zabuza was faced with an oddly familiar sight.

There, with arms spread wide and Kakashi's hand buried in his chest, stood Naruto Uzumaki.

xXx

At first, there was no pain at all. He slammed the handle of his kunai into Kakashi's head with punishing force, and the man slumped into his student's chest, unconscious. Naruto stepped backwards, and Kakashi's bloody hand slid out of his chest, letting the copy-nin fall to the ground.

Then, a dull, throbbing pain appeared in his chest. His heartbeat seemed to intensify, pounding in his ears like a drum. The pain started to intensify, growing hot and expanding throughout his system. The pain became agony, which became a molten fire that burned its way through his body like a wild inferno.

Naruto collapsed to the ground like a ragdoll. He tried to scream, but his teeth seemed to be locked together. Blood spurted out of the hole in his chest, splattering his clothes. He tried to lift a hand to close the hole in his chest, but his shaking arms would not obey his will.

The edges of his vision began to darken. Above him, he saw the blurred form of Shikamaru rushing to his side.

Arms wrapped themselves around his waist, and he was moved into a sitting position. He could dimly hear a voice calling to him.

"...uto... open...our mo..."

He couldn't make out what they were saying. He tried to say as much, but his body continued to ignore his instructions. Hands reached up and pulled his mouth open and something was pushed down his throat.

A minute later, the world began to regain focus. Shikamaru was leaning over him, wrapping bandages around his waist.

Naruto groaned. "Mmgggh."

Shikamaru looked up. "Don't move. That pill's just a stopgap, move around too much and you'll be in a world of pain."

"...'ll be fine." Naruto murmured. "...Got a healin' thing."

"Not even you can heal from something like this in a couple of minutes. Just sit there and don't exert yourself." Shikamaru said.

"Where r'... Zabuza an' Haku?" Naruto asked drowsily.

Shikamaru indicated to the left. "Right here."

"Are they... kay?" Naruto asked.

Zabuza put Haku on the ground and knelt next to Naruto. "Yes, we're fine. Now, what the hell were you thinking? Why didn't you just smash Kakashi across the head in the first place?"

"You... 'ngrateful bastard." Naruto mumbled, still slightly delirious.

Zabuza shrugged. "Whatever. Take these cuffs off me. I'm getting out of here."

"Just like that? After Naruto just saved your life?" Shikamaru demanded.

Zabuza glared at him. "Naruto was the one who stuck me in a tent with psychotic coma patient here in the first place. I'm sure you'll understand if I'm not in a very thankful mood right now."

Shikamaru didn't seem to have anything to say to that.

Zabuza held out his hands. "Unlock my cuffs."

"I don't have the keys." Shikamaru replied. "I wasn't in charge of keeping you restrained. Naruto and Jiraiya were."

Zabuza reached out a hand to open Naruto's pouch. Shikamaru grabbed it. "Don't. He needs to stay still."

Zabuza ripped his hand out of Shikamaru's grasp. "Yeah, I'm not taking orders from you, kid."

Turning away from the Nara, Zabuza reached for Naruto's pouch again.

Shikamaru got to his feet. **"Shadow Imitation Technique."**

Shikamaru's shadow lashed out and clasped onto Zabuza's. The swordsman froze. Shikamaru guided Zabuza backwards into a sitting position.

"What the hell do you think you're..." Zabuza growled.

Shikamaru cut him off. "We are going to sit here and wait until Naruto's chest heals. Are we clear?"

Zabuza raised an eyebrow. "Then we're going to be here for a while. He doesn't have the Kyuubi anymore, remember?"

Shikamaru blinked. "What? How do you..."

"Because you told me." Zabuza said. "Remember all those conversations you had around in the tent you were keeping me in? Yeah, I heard all of those."

"Oh, um, huh..." Shikamaru fumbled. "Well, the advanced healing thing is supposed to come from his family, so he should be out of critical condition in about an hour or so. It won't be too troublesome to wait for an hour or so, surely."

Zabuza sighed. "Fine. But restrain Hatake. If he goes berserk on me again, I _will _kill him."

Nodding, Shikamaru released the jutsu. The Nara pulled out a pair of cuffs from his coat and restrained Kakashi. Shikamaru then leaned into the tree next to Naruto and slid to the ground, eyes fixed on Zabuza.

"Actually, you may want to use some of those water jutsu of yours to put out some of those fires." Shikamaru said.

Zabuza shrugged. "Fine."

The swordsman moved to do so, Shikamaru tracking his every move. Launching off a couple of burst water jutsu, Zabuza then leant back a tree opposite Shikamaru's and sat down. Forty minutes of excruciatingly uncomfortable silence later, and Naruto had finally recovered enough to hold a conversation.

His chest was still excruciatingly painful, though. Last time he'd been hit with a Chidori, the experience had knocked him unconscious for a good twenty-four hours. Unlike Sasuke, Kakashi hadn't been kind enough to grant him that. And speaking of Kakashi...

When he'd leapt in front of that Chidori, he'd had enough awareness to notice that one of the man's eyes was glowing bright red. He might have chalked down as an unknown addition to the dozen or so Sharingan abilities that he'd encountered thus far, but it hadn't been the Sharingan that was glowing. It had been Kakashi's right eye.

He could only remember one occasion where Kakashi's right eye had lit up like that. It had been right before Jiraiya had gone on that fateful mission to Ame, a short time after they'd tried to seal the Sanbi. Kakashi had been under something called a Puppet Curse. A jutsu cast by a man named Hiruko.

He really hoped they weren't going to have to deal with Hiruko now too. They had enough on their plate as it was. A bloodline-stealing Orochimaru copycat was the last thing they needed.

But Hiruko's Puppet Curse hadn't done anything like this the first time around. All it had done last time was guide Kakashi to the villain's hideout. And while it was never truly possible to understand the mind of a lunatic, Naruto couldn't think of any reason why Hiruko would want to kill Zabuza of all people. That suggested that the Puppet Curse had malfunctioned somehow. Maybe it had just happened by accident. After all, last time around Hiruko hadn't been active for a good couple of years yet. Maybe he didn't even know that the Curse was active.

In any case, he'd need to have Jiraiya check Kakashi out. But first...

"Zabuza."

The swordsman looked up. "What? You ready to unlock me yet?"

Naruto made a beckoning motion. "Come over here."

The swordsman got up and walked over, holding out a hand. "The keys."

Naruto shook his head. "I don't have them on me. Keep your hands very still."

"What?" Zabuza growled. "You..."

"Keep your hands still." Naruto ordered, starting to get slightly irritated. "I just took a Chidori for you, trust me with this."

Zabuza grunted and held out his hands. Naruto raised his right hand and placed in on the metal. A second later, a blue glow appeared around the blonde's hand. A loud screeching sound filled the air. With a snapping sound, the cuffs broke and fell to the ground.

Zabuza blinked. "What did you do?"

Naruto shrugged. "Wind blades."

"Through metal? Why didn't you just do that to Kakashi?" Zabuza demanded.

"If it did that to a pair of metal handcuffs, what do you think it would do to a human?" Shikamaru interjected. "For some strange reason, Naruto didn't want to kill his comrade. Probably not something you know a lot about, huh?"

"Was that sarcasm, kid?" Zabuza growled. "Funny thing about sarcasm, it makes me want to kill things. And now that I have chakra..."

"Don't do this now." Naruto groaned.

"Fine." Zabuza said. "But I'm leaving. Now."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

Zabuza blinked. "Why? Why what?"

"Why do you want to leave?" Naruto pressed.

"What else am I going to do?" Zabuza asked, honest confusion on his face. "Hang around? Become a member of a dead village?"

Naruto nodded. "Yes."

Zabuza stared at him for a good, long moment. Then he started to laugh. "Ahahahahah! You want... Oh, that's too good! Me, a Konoha ninja?"

"Why not?" Naruto queried. "Akatsuki is just as much of a danger to you as it is to us. Help us fight them!"

"Akatsuki is your problem, not mine." Zabuza declared. "I'm sure you can handle them just fine without my help. Why would I want to tie myself down like that? I wouldn't join your village even if they were at full strength, much less now that Konoha is at death's door."

"Why, do you have something better to do?" Naruto demanded.

"Yes, actually." Zabuza replied. "Am I right in thinking that you still haven't received any word from Mist?"

Shikamaru nodded. "We've got nothing. The entire island has become a communication deadzone."

"You see, that's my village we're talking about." Zabuza said. "If something like what's happened to Konoha has happened over there, then I need to know about it. From what I've seen of you, you'd do the same, wouldn't you?"

Naruto gave a reluctant nod.

"Good. Now, give me my sword and I'll be on my way." Zabuza said.

"Your sword? Does it look like Naruto is carrying your sword on him?" Shikamaru asked.

"It's sealed in a scroll in his leg holster." Zabuza said. "I've already had to wait forty minutes, don't push my patience any further."

Naruto reached into his holster and pulled out a small, red scroll. "Before you go, Zabuza, I have a request to make."

Zabuza raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh? And what would that be?"

Naruto stared up at him with determined eyes. "Leave Haku here."

Zabuza cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"Because he's not safe with you."

Zabuza leant in close, face only a couple of centimeters from Naruto's own. "What was that?"

Naruto stared up at him. "He's unconscious, and it doesn't look like he'll be waking up anytime soon. He needs regular medical treatment. The world just got a whole lot more dangerous, Zabuza. I believe you're a good man, but I don't think that, if push comes to shove, you can keep both yourself and Haku alive at the same time. Here, he'll have an entire village to protect him."

"What, like you 'protected' us last time?" Zabuza growled, motioning to the unconscious body of Kakashi Hatake.

"It won't happen again." Naruto retorted. "You're not equipped to look after a coma patient, and I don't think that you want to wait around for him to wake up. You need to get back to your village, and you won't be able to do that easily while lugging an unconscious body around at the same time. Leave him with me, and I'll protect him until my last breath."

Zabuza stared at him for a long moment, then turned to Shikamaru. "I want a couple of minutes alone with Uzumaki. Take Haku, and head over to that copse of trees over there."

"I'm not..." Shikamaru began.

Naruto held up a hand. "Just do it, Shikamaru. I trust him."

Reluctantly, Shikamaru picked up Haku's body and carried him off in the direction that Zabuza had pointed.

As Shikamaru departed, Zabuza sniffed the air. "Take that clone of yours, too."

There was a rustling in a nearby bush, followed by a puff of smoke.

Zabuza waited until Shikamaru was out of hearing range, then turned back to Naruto. "My sword."

Naruto held out the scroll. Zabuza flipped it open and channelled chakra into it. The marks on the paper disappeared and the gigantic blade materialized in Zabuza's hand.

Zabuza lifted the sword, examining its blade. "Hmm."

An instant later, the edge of the Kubikiribocho was pressed hard against Naruto's throat. The teen gurgled, raising his hands. Zabuza applied a small amount of pressure, and the blade of the sword cut into his throat, drawing a tiny amount of blood that was sucked up by the sword.

"Don't. Try and use those wind blades on me, and I take your head." Zabuza said, eyes cold as ice. "Listen very closely to what I have to say. You sent your friend away. I could kill you, kill him and be out of here with Haku in a couple of minutes. You. Need. To. Stop. Trusting. People. So. Much. It is going to get you killed."

"I thought... gak... you didn't care." Naruto gasped.

"I don't. But I've decided to leave Haku with you, so I need you alive." Zabuza said.

"You're leaving..." Naruto began.

Zabuza cut in. "Yes. You're right, I don't have the equipment to be looking after a useless coma patient. That is the _only _reason. But I need to know that you're not going to get him killed. And I can't do that if you can't get rid of your messiah complex."

"Messiah complex?"

"Yes. Messiah complex. Your belief that everyone can be saved. One day, you're going to accept a monster into the fold and that monster is going to destroy everyone and everything you love."

"I don't believe in monsters." Naruto said. "There are good men and there are evil men, but in the end that's all they are. Men. To accept the existence of monsters would be to deny that human beings are fundamentally good. That's not something I will ever do."

"That's what I'm talking about. You seem to have some naive notion that I am 'good'. I am not a good man, Naruto. The blood of hundreds stains my blade, and I feel no remorse. No pity. Do those sound like the words of a good man to you?"

"You care for Haku."

"One soul in millions, and even that merely a bond formed out of necessity. Even a demon may sometimes thirst for company, Naruto. That doesn't make it any less of a monster. And do you know what they say of those who trust demons?" Zabuza asked.

"What?"

"They pay for their folly in blood. Your left hand is your non-dominant one, correct? Hold it up." Zabuza commanded.

Naruto did so, staring at the swordsman in bemusement.

Quick as a flash, Zabuza grabbed his left wrist. The swordsman shoved the hand into the dirt, splaying Naruto's fingers out wide. Zabuza raised his sword high into the air and swung the blade down with terrifying ferocity.

There was a gout of blood, and Naruto's severed pinky was flung high into the air. Naruto screamed in pain.

Zabuza got to his feet and plucked the severed finger off the ground. "Let this act as a reminder to you, Naruto. To place faith where it is unwarranted can end in nothing but blood."

"Argh... You..." Naruto groaned.

The swordsman waved the bloody digit in front of his face. "Take a good look, Naruto. Remember this moment. This is what happens if you trust unconditionally. If you come to understand that, then a finger is a small price to pay."

Zabuza turned and began walking away. Naruto clutched at his hand, gritting his teeth in agony.

Zabuza suddenly stopped, mid-stride. "Oh yes, one more thing. If Haku dies under your watch, I will kill your friends. I will kill your sensei. I will not stop until everyone you care about is dead. And then I will kill you."

Then, the resurrected swordsman turned and walked away, vanishing into the forest. All without a single backwards glance.

xXx

Advancing down the road, armed to the teeth, were a platoon of around sixty Suna shinobi. They seemed, if not overtly hostile, highly alert and all ready for action. A couple of the younger ones were staring at Konoha's gates with expectant looks of their faces.

Well, that answered the question as to whether Suna had met the same fate as Konoha. If they could afford to field a force like this, then they probably weren't exactly short on manpower.

Or maybe this was a rogue squad who had somehow survived the collapse. He'd know soon enough, anyhow.

Cool as a cucumber, Asuma stepped out of Konoha's gates, flanked by just about every ninja Konoha had available.

"Konoha is in a state of quarantine." He said, holding out a hand. "I'm afraid we can't accept any visitors right now, even if they're allies."

The ranks of Sand ninja came to a halt.

A tall woman in a black outfit with orange-and-green hair stepped out. "Bullshit."

Asuma blinked. "I'm sorry?"

The woman raised her chin. "You heard me. Bullshit. Konoha has been destroyed."

Wow. Suna had really let their standards drop if their ninja were allowed to simply step out of line and begin insulting people during diplomatic negotiations.

Asuma addressed the rest of the Suna ninja. "Can I talk to whoever is in charge?"

The tall woman stepped in front of him. "You're talking to her. Why, do you have a problem with that?"

None of the other Sand ninja protested. Great. Apparently, Suna had sent the testiest, angriest ninja they could find. Just what they needed.

"Konoha is in quarantine. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Asuma repeated.

"Fuck you." The woman retorted. "Your village is dead, petrified. The ninja standing behind you are the pathetic remnants of a village that no longer exists. You don't have the authority to order us to do anything."

One of the ninja behind him gave a startled gasp. "You!"

The woman looked over Asuma's shoulder. "Do I know you?"

Ko Hyuuga stepped forward. "Pakura! You're Pakura, right?"

Asuma blinked. "Pakura?"

"Yeah, that's me." Pakura retorted. "Surprised?"

"But you can't... Iwagakure ki-" Ko stuttered.

Pakura's eyes flashed. "Iwagakure did nothing! It was..."

The woman stopped herself mid-sentence, then took a deep breath. "Nevermind. It's irrelevant. Do you represent what's left of Konoha, Sarutobi?"

Pakura? Pakura of the Sand had died during the reign of the Fourth Kazekage. Either this was another Pakura, or... Pakura was yet another shinobi who had been resurrected, just like those two mist ninja. And if her general demeanour was anything to go by, she'd probably died in circumstances that had left her feeling exceptionally vindictive.

Another shinobi who remembered the future... Actually, that made sense. Naruto had suggested that the Fifth Kazekage had probably retained his memories. If that were true, then what better way to communicate that than by sending a resurrected ninja?

"Don't make me repeat myself. Do you represent what's left of Konoha?" Pakura demanded.

Asuma nodded. "I do."

"Then by the powers invested in me by blah blah blah I am authorized to offer you Suna's assistance." Pakura said, rolling her eyes. "Congratulations, I'm sure your parents would be very proud."

"You have our thanks." Asuma said.

"No, thank YOU, Asuma Sarutobi." Pakura said, voice dripping with sickly-sweet sarcasm. "Because do you know what I really want to spend my time doing, more than anything else in the world? Babysitting a bunch of arboriculturists in a dead village while surrounded by corpses. So thank you for making that dream a reality."

Gaara probably hadn't accounted for just how generally acrimonious Pakura was feeling when he put her on a sensitive mission like this one. If Pakura had been a Konoha shinobi, Asuma would have had her stripped of command, and possibly court-martialed for good measure. Unfortunately, none of the Suna ninja seemed particularly inclined to do anything. Several of them, particularly the older ones, were staring at the ground with looks of shame on their face.

"You know, you might want to consider volunteering to become one of Suna's territories." Pakura remarked. "We're always looking for up-and-coming go-getters like you. After all, we always need kunai fodder."

One of the genin behind Asuma (Tenten?) turned and broke rank, running back through Konoha's gates. Asuma wasn't able to get a good look at her, but he saw enough to know that her face was contorted in fury.

He could deal with rogue genin later. This was much more important.

Temari stepped out of the silent Suna ranks, putting a hand on Pakura's shoulder. "Pakura, that's enough."

Pakura whirled around, shoving Temari's hand off. "What? Am I wrong? Please, enlighten me as to my mistake!"

"Things have changed." Temari muttered.

"Oh, things have changed, have they?" Pakura laughed. "Well, doesn't that just make everything fine and fucking dandy then! What, do we not need people to jump in front of kunai anymore? That's fine, I guess we can always _shove _them!"

Temari's mouth opened, then shut.

Pakura leered at her. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

The woman looked back at Asuma. "I'll get back to you in a second, Lord of the Plants."

Asuma shrugged. "No hurry."

He had no doubt that if Pakura had been ordered to kill them, then she would have attacked by now. The woman obviously did not want to spend one more second talking to them than she had to.

Pakura turned to look at one of the ninja behind her. "Yari, send a message to the Kazekage telling him that we've got in contact with what's left of Konoha. We were right about the... Oh yeah."

Pakura turned back to Asuma. "Is Naruto Uzumaki still alive? Kazekage wanted to know."

"Yes, Naruto is alive." Asuma said.

"Good. Make a note of that." Pakura ordered. "You know, we wouldn't have to take measures like this if you hadn't been sending us that banal crap over the carrier pigeons."

"We had our reasons." Asuma said.

Pakura shrugged. "Of course you did. Now, I suppose we should get on to business."

The woman reached into the pocket of her pants, pulling out a pen and notebook. "So, King Seedling, everyone you know and love is dead. How does that make you _feel_?"

Asuma grit his teeth.

xXx

As the rest of the Konoha ninja ran off to obey his orders, Jiraiya turned his full attention back to the two Akatsuki members. Kakuzu was standing there with a bored look on his face, while Konan had gone quiet and seemed to be regarding him with detached apathy.

Konan. One of three precious students he'd thought long dead, here in the flesh. And someone who had, in another world, been directly responsible for his death.

He prayed that they weren't here for Naruto. This last week had brought enough death with it for seven lifetimes, he wasn't sure he could take adding the life of one of his students to the pile.

"I hope that little show we just saw was genuine." He said, ready to launch himself into action at the first sign of a threat. He was confident he could handle either Konan or Kakuzu or their own, but if they attacked together... It would be one hell of a fight.

Kakuzu stepped forward. "We are no longer associated with Akatsuki, if that's what you're implying."

"And yet you continue to wear Akatsuki's cloaks." Jiraiya noted.

That got a reaction.

Konan flared up. "These cloaks are..."

The woman cut herself off mid-sentence. The momentary fire that had appeared vanished, returning to a look of cold indifference.

"These cloaks are what?" Jiraiya asked.

"...Linked to Amegakure as a whole, rather than merely to Akatsuki. Akatsuki has been disbanded." Konan said.

Jiraiya nodded. "I see. That masked man seemed to disagree."

"His actions are his own." She said. "He is no longer linked in any fashion to Lord Pain or I."

"You mean Nagato." Jiraiya said.

The woman's glacial eyes bored into him. "Yes. I mean Nagato."

"Well then, if I may ask, what is your business with Konoha?" Jiraiya asked.

"Lord Pa... Nagato has sent us to open diplomatic negotiations between Amegakure and Konoha, and to obstruct Tobi's plans for the jinchuriki in every way possible." Konan said.

"And him?" Jiraiya gestured to Kakuzu.

"I am presently under contract. Furthermore, certain facts have recently come to life which made working under Tobi untenable." Kakuzu said.

"The Eye of the Moon Plan?" Jiraiya asked.

Kakuzu nodded. "Correct. To voluntarily embark on such a juncture would be idiotic, to say the least."

Jiraiya looked at Konan. "We can trust him?"

"He has as much to lose from Tobi's plan as any of us." She replied.

"I see. Well, we appreciate the assistance." Jiraiya said.

Konan nodded. "Indeed."

She was so distant, so aloof. It wasn't supposed to be like this. All his memories of Konan were of a happy, confident, bubbly teenage girl. Not the frigid, remote woman in front of him. He could sense the anger she held towards him, simmering just below the surface.

Well then, he was going to have to go for broke. He had a feeling that if he approached the topic indirectly, the woman would simply dance around the issue. But first...

"Can you wander over there for a second?" He asked Kakuzu. "I need to talk to Konan alone."

Kakuzu looked at Konan. "Is that an executive order?"

Konan nodded.

Kakuzu shrugged. "Very well."

Kakuzu turned and walked off, disappearing into a nearby copse of trees. Jiraiya watched him go, then turned back to his former student.

"Konan..." He began, with an awkwardness that was uncharacteristic of him. "What happened?"

Konan's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

Jiraiya shifted uncomfortably. "With Nagato. With... Yahiko."

Why had he asked that? He already knew what had happened.

"Yahiko died. Nagato became the leader of Akatsuki. That is all." She stated flatly.

"Come on, you know that's not what I mean." Jiraiya pressed.

"Then what do you mean, sensei? Enlighten me." Konan asked, a hint of anger entering her voice.

"How did things... how did you... end up like you are now?" He stumbled.

Oh god, that one of the worst possible things that he could have said. Konan's eyes widened with indignant fury.

"How did I end up the way I am now?" She hissed, her mask of apathy shattering in an instant. "What the hell do you think, sensei?"

"Konan, I..." Jiraiya began.

"Yahiko died! He impaled himself on Nagato's sword to save my life, and Nagato nearly tore the world apart as a result!

It was like a dam bursting. Years of pent-up emotion, buried under layers of repression, simply exploded out of her. "Do you have any idea what Yahiko's death did to him? To us? I had to watch it happen, sensei! I had to watch him waste away, day by day, and I could do nothing! Can you imagine what that was like?"

Konan was shouting now. "We needed you! You saved us, you trained us, you gave us hope and when we needed you most, you weren't there!"

"I know!" Jiraiya roared.

Konan stepped back, momentarily stunned by the vehemence of Jiraiya's shout.

"I know that, Konan!" Jiraiya yelled. "I know that I wasn't there! Do you think that you were the only one affected? I had to live with the belief that my negligence had gotten you killed! It tore me apart!"

"You should have been there!" Konan shouted back.

"Of course I should have been there!" Jiraiya retorted "But I'm a shinobi, Konan. A Konoha shinobi. I had duties, missions! You were like my own sons and daughter, but I couldn't stay with you forever! How could I have ever seen, ever imagined something like that happening? I didn't know, Konan!"

Konan was very still for a moment. Then, the blue-haired woman took a long, deep breath. Slowly, Konan unclenched her fists.

"I know that, sensei." She said, suddenly very quiet. "I understand that you didn't know. "But you could have left us a summon. You could have kept better tabs on Danzo. I know all things are clear in hindsight, but the fact remains that you weren't there when we needed you most, and Yahiko died as a result."

Jiraiya took a deep breath of his own, trying to quell the rising swells of anxiety and apprehension that coursed through his body. There was one more question to be asked, and it was one that exposed a vulnerability far outside what he was usually comfortable with.

"Konan... Do you hate me?" Jiraiya asked.

Konan stared at him, then gave a slight shake of her head. "No. I don't hate you. I can't hate you, much as I might want to. If it wasn't for you, all three of us would have died decades ago. You were never cruel, never unkind. But Yahiko died because you weren't there to save him, and that's not something that I can just brush away. I know it's not your fault, sensei, not really. But... it's going to take time."

Jiraiya understood, all too well. He'd had similar experiences himself. Logically, Konan knew that it wasn't his fault. But human beings were not creatures of pure logic; they were bubbling, unstable masses of hormones, emotions and instincts. Even though on a rational level Konan knew he wasn't responsible, that condemning fury remained.

"I understand." He said. "Can we start with a hug, at least?"

Konan sighed and shook her head. "...Not yet. Please, just... give me some time, sensei."

Jiraiya gave her a small, tired smile. "Of course. However long you need."

A silence followed. Konan stuck her hands into the pockets of her coat, and turned her gaze to the skies above.

"Do you remember the future, sensei?" She asked.

"No. I don't." He replied. "Apparently, though, you and Nagato killed me."

"I wouldn't know." She said. "I don't remember it either. But Nagato does. He changed so much in those three years. It feels like I missed out on so much."

Jiraiya made a small noise of amusement. "Hmph. You're telling me. I've got the same thing going on with Naruto. You would not believe how much that boy has changed"

"The child that Nagato has placed his faith in? Like what?" She asked.

"He's more mature. Calmer. Older. Sadder. No less determined, though. He wouldn't have been able to stand down Tobi like that if he wasn't."

The corners of Konan's lips quirked up. "'Lonely little man'? I'm starting to see why people seem to like him so much."

"Hn. Anyway, we should probably go collect Kakuzu before someone decides to attack him. It would really help if you lost those cloaks, y'know?" Jiraiya said.

"They're a legacy from Yahiko. We're not losing the cloaks, sensei. Sometimes, you just have to do things the hard way." Konan replied.

Jiraiya sighed. "The hard way. Joy."

xXx

Tenten sat fuming on the giant stone head of the Fourth Hokage, afire with righteous anger.

There was a breath of wind, and one of Konoha's ANBU appeared next to her.

"You abandoned your post, genin." The ANBU said.

"Leave me alone." Tenten growled.

The ANBU reached up and removed his mask, revealing a strong-jawed young man with almond eyes and brown hair. "You abandoned your post. You made us look weak in front of a contingent of foreign shinobi. You need to return to the camp and..."

"And then what? We just throw ourselves onto the mercy of Suna?" Tenten yelled. "Do you want me scratch a Sand kanji into my headband as well? Does nobody remember what happened two years ago? Sand invaded us! I lost friends in that invasion! What, do you expect me to just play nice and pretend that Ichomo didn't have half his face blown off by a Suna ninja? Thousands of people died that day!"

Tenten got to her feet. "And what's the deal with Itachi being accepted back? I don't care if he was ordered to do so by some old politician, the man murdered his entire clan! Hundreds of men, woman and children, killed in cold blood! I don't care what sort of good intentions he had, you can not justify an atrocity like that! Yet everyone just acts like nothing happened! And what about all the other stuff he did? He tortured his brother! He killed dozens of Konoha ninja! Do you call that being a loyal Konoha ninja? All those people dying, all because of some idiotic notion about the greater good? It's... it's... bullcrud!"

Tenzo stared down at her with unreadable eyes. "You done?"

Tenten nodded.

Tenzo leaned in close. "Then here's my response, _genin_. Suck. It. Up."

Tenten looked up at him in stunned silence.

"Do you think you're the only one that feels that way?" Tenzo demanded. "Do you think you're the only one who's lost people close to them? I had friends in the Uchiha clan, genin. I saw first-hand what Itachi did to them. When Suna attacked, I had to pull my commanding officer's corpse out from under a pile of rubble. In a perfect world, Suna would pay for their crimes. In a perfect world, Itachi Uchiha would rot in a cell for the rest of his life. But in case you hadn't noticed, that's not the type of world we live in. And do you know what, genin? Do you know what the best part is? In its long, illustrious history, Konoha has committed acts just as terrible."

"You're talking about the Great Reclamation at the end of the Third Shinobi World War, I assume?" Tenten shot back. "Kiri invaded us first, we had no choice but to.."

Tenzo laughed, bitterness pervading his voice. "The Great Reclamation? No genin, the Great Reclamation is among the mildest of Konoha's sins. No, I'm talking about the stuff that never makes it into the history books. The stuff that gets swept under the rug, the stuff you're not supposed to discuss in public for fear of it tarnishing Konoha's image."

"Uh-huh? Like what?" Tenten demanded.

Tenzo seemed to think for a second. "Have you ever heard of Uzushiogakure?"

Tenten shrugged. "It was an old village that used to be allied with Konoha before it was destroyed. Why?"

"It was far more than that." Tenzo said. "It was Konoha's closest ally. It's oldest ally, actually. The flak jackets that Konoha chunin and jonin wear all bear the village's symbol to symbolize the ties of friendship and blood between the villages. For decades, Uzushiogakure supported us, providing shinobi, equipment and sealing experts when we needed it. Hundreds of Whirlpool shinobi fought and bled and died for Konoha. And then, about ten years ago, Uzushiogakure got on the bad side of the Land of Cloud's Daimyo, and an army of Kumo ninja were dispatched to terminate the village. And do you know what Konoha did? Do you know how we responded to the call to arms from our oldest and most trusted ally?

Tenzo made a dismissive gesture with his hands. "We did nothing. We simply let events take their course."

"Wasn't that like four years after the end of the Third Shinobi World War?" Tenten interjected. "Between the war and the Kyuubi's attack, we'd lost, like, most of our ninja. If we'd tried to take on Kumogakure immediately after the Kyuubi attack, Iwagakure and Kirigakure would probably have moved in and torn us into pieces. It's terrible, sure, but it doesn't..."

Tenzo shot her a grim smile. "You see, now you're getting it. You're entirely correct, if we'd stepped in and tried to save Uzushiogakure, then Konoha could have been destroyed. Perfectly justified, then, to sit back and let it happen. And it's certainly not the same as murdering a clan. But you see, genin, that's where it starts. The Sandaime tried to keep things from slipping too far down that slope. Most of the time, he was successful. Shinobi like Orochimaru were tossed out, while in somewhere like Kirigakure they would be accepted with open arms. But the Will of Fire only applies to the people of the Leaf. Always remember that. Konoha has to come first. We live in a world where twelve-year olds are given knives and tossed onto battlefields to kill and die in the name of people they've never met. Sometimes, morality has to be compromised for security. So people disappear, clans are exterminated and occasionally entire villages have to be removed. All in the name of the greater good."

"It's not... They're not...Why are you telling me this?" Tenten demanded.

"Because you're naive. Because you seem to view the world with a black-and-white morality. And because you need to understand that now more than ever, we cannot let the past rule us. If everyone in the shinobi world acted like you did and allowed their grudges and resentments to define their actions, then most of humanity would be dead by the end of the week. Survival means, if not forgiving, then at least putting aside grievances for the greater good. In we truly lived in a perfect world, Konoha would join Suna among the damned. If we want to survive the oncoming storm, then we are going to need monsters like Itachi Uchiha." Tenzo said.

"You don't believe what you're saying." Tenten said. "I can hear it in your voice."

"No, genin, I believe what I'm saying." Tenzo replied. "In a world like this one, protecting the things you care about sometimes means you have to sell your soul to the devil. I just don't like it. You shouldn't, either. But believe me, that's just the way things are. That's the way that they've always been, too, and that's probably not going to change."

"Naruto would disagree." Tenten said.

Tenzo shrugged. "Good for him. Doesn't make it any less true."

"Are all ANBU this pessimistic?" Tenten asked.

"These last few days haven't helped." Tenzo turned away, looking out over Konoha. "This conversation is over. It's time to get back to your post."

"Just tell me one thing." Tenten said. "If Konoha truly is as morally bankrupt as you seem to believe, then why stick around at all? Why not just leave?"

Tenzo was silent for a good twenty seconds. Finally, he spoke. "Because, for better or worse, Konoha is my home. For that alone, I would die for it."

Tenten took a long breath, then sighed. "Can I stay here a little longer? I just... need the space."

"Five minutes." Tenzo said.

After that, there was nothing more to be said. The two simply stared out over the black, empty village, watching the sun sink lower in the sky.

xXx

_(Kamui's Dimension)_

'Allow events to take their course'? 'Become a common enemy for humanity to unite against'?

What the fuck had he been thinking!?

In the time that he'd spent in the past, he'd been drifting further and further from his original goals. The journey had obviously allowed some pathetic speck of sentimental weakness to come to light and start influencing his actions.

The only way that true peace could ever be achieved lay with the Eternal Tsukuyomi. Anything less, and the rotten core of humanity would inevitably emerge once more. Somehow, he'd lost sight of that. There would always be people like Naruto Uzumaki; deluded, self-appointed paladins to a system that defiled everything it touched.

Not even the Eternal Tsukuyomi would enough to erase the taint Konoha brought to the world. No, as long as a even single ninja still bore the sign of the Leaf, utopia would be forever be an unattainable dream. Be it by fire, by flood or by famine, Tobi would see the Leaf crushed. But this time, the Akatsuki strategy might not be enough. Not with Nagato, Itachi, Kakuzu, Konan and possibly Sasori working against him.

It was time to consider other options.

Tobi activated his Kamui, and the titanic structures around him faded away, replaced by a lush, verdant forest. The original Zetsu was sitting on the ground on front of him, a deer carcass clasped between the flytrap-appendages on its head. The entire thing was slowly sinking down into Zetsu's enlarged mouth, not unlike how a snake swallows large prey.

Upon his arrival, Black Zetsu spoke. **"Spit it out."**

"Aww, come on..." White Zetsu groaned. "Surely he can wait five minutes."

"**Spit it out. Now."**Black Zetsu shot back.

Both of Zetsu's hands reached up and yanked the entire thing out of its mouth, tossing it to the ground.

"So, what can we do for you?" White Zetsu asked.

"How many Zetsu survived Orochimaru's daimyo purge a decade ago?" Tobi demanded.

"Three or four, none of them in any positions of real power." White Zetsu said. "Why?"

"We're reactivating the Daimyo Stratagem." Tobi said.

Black Zetsu looked at him curiously. **"What do you hope to accomplish?"**

"Konoha has been destroyed. Apparently, so have Kumo and Iwa." Tobi said. "I'm not sure how you missed that, but..."

"Hey, we've been running ourselves ragged trying to reassemble Akatsuki and figure out a way to fix the statue." White Zetsu protested. "We haven't been near any of the Big Five, and we don't exactly hang around the sort of places that people go to gossip."

"We're Ketsueki Yuuyake now." Tobi interjected. "Now..."

"Ketsueki Yuuyake, Akatsuki, what's the difference?" White Zetsu groused. "Hanzo and Orochimaru already know about our Akatsuki links anyway, you didn't exactly make it difficult. Why not just change it back to Akatsuki already?"

"**We are trying to leave behind any negative connotations that people who aren't intimately familiar with our workings might associate with Akatsuki, now be quiet." **Black Zetsu growled at his other half, then looked back at Tobi.**"Continue."**

Tobi nodded. "The three biggest players in the world's politics have just been wiped off the map. Pretty soon, other groups are going to try and step in to pick up the reigns. The Nations are about to descend into chaos. I want you to instil Zetsu in every promising faction you can. They don't have to be daimyo, as long as they don't have distinctive shinobi abilities that might be called upon they're fair game. I trust I don't have to explain why?"

The two Zetsu-halves nodded.

"I want the Daimyo Stratagem and Ketsueki Yuuyake to be kept completely separate." Tobi said. "No overlap of any kind. I may call upon you if necessary, but for the most part I will oversee Ketsueki Yuuyake and you will do the same for the Stratagem. That way, if one falls it doesn't take the other with it. And no matter what happens, the Zetsu do not blow their cover. If it comes down to a choice between dying and displaying abilities outside their role, they die. By the time the year is out, I expect to have influence with every major power player on the continent."

"**Understood."**Black Zetsu said.

"Oh yeah, Deidara and Kisame managed to recruit Kushimaru, by the way." White Zetsu added. "Apparently, he wants to see you. They're at Haruna."

"Very well." Tobi reached into his cloak and pulled out a small scroll. "This is a list of potential recruits for Ketsueki Yuuyake. I want you to start investigating their whereabouts and status."

White Zetsu flicked open the scroll and began scanning the contents. "Know her, don't know her, don't know him, know... Really? Him? Wow, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. I mean, I knew we were desperate, but... Wow."

Black Zetsu's single yellow eye bored into him. **"Anything else?"**

Tobi nodded again. "Yes. I'll need eight Zetsu. Have one of your clones spore them, save yours for the Daimyo Strategem."

"**Are you sure?**" Black Zetsu asked. **"The copies that my clones make..."**

"Grow weaker with each passing generation, I'm aware." Tobi interrupted. "These ones won't be conducting combat or stealth missions. I have a different use in mind."

"We'll get right on it." White Zetsu announced. "Check back in a day or so, they should be ready by then."

"Good." Tobi said. "Finish your meal, then get back to work."

Tobi activated his Kamui and disappeared, leaving Zetsu to consume his deer carcass in peace.

xXx

Omake:

Hiruzen Sarutobi stared around the room filled with human experiments, horror, grief and anger warring for dominance on his face. "Orochimaru... What have you done?"

Orochimaru grinned at him. "You don't like it, sensei?"

"This ends. Right now." Sarutobi said, sliding off his Hokage robes to reveal the combat gear underneath.

"Fine." Orochimaru huffed. "I'm going to go start my own village. With blackjack, and hookers, and human experimentation."

Sarutobi blinked. "... What?"

"And on special occasions, all three at once!" Orochimaru span around and leapt out the window. "Bye!"

xXx

**Between his increasingly positive canon portrayal, association with the resident Woobie Haku 'Precious people' McGee and a significant leaning towards comedic portrayals in fanfiction, many people (myself included) seem to forget that Zabuza is not a nice person. In fact, he is a violent, apathetic murderer willing to slaughter innocents for money. The Haku dynamic is nice and he's shown at least some sort of honor code, but that's one or two positive features amongst scores of bad. Leaving aside the fact that he was willing to assassinate an innocent old man and doom an entire village to indentured poverty, it's also worth keeping in mind that Zabuza brutally slaughtered his entire graduating class for no apparent reason other than to increase his own standing. There may have been mitigating circumstances, there may not, but the fact remains that it happened. He has some moral traits, but Zabuza is most definitely not a good person.**

**I'd say that Zabuza is a Type IV antihero (See: Tv Tropes) at best and a Complete Monster who has somehow deluded himself into thinking that he cares about Haku at worst.**

**The world record for the long jump is 8.95 meters. I was going to have Zabuza's jump be about ten to make it slightly more realistic, but then I remembered Rock Lee was able to pull off feats of impossible jump-ness without any chakra whatsoever. Apparently human physical ability is heightened even without taking chakra and bloodlines in the the equation in the world of Naruto.**

**It's amazing how many scenes seem to write themselves. The meeting between Asuma and the Suna ninja was originally going to be a fairly standard one, then boom! Sardonic, vindictive Pakura. If any of you have seen the relevant anime episode, you probably have a basic idea of why she's so pissed.**

**To The darkest wizard, yes and no. Tobi is more powerful, but between Konan, Kakuzu and Kakuzu's masks he had six incredibly dangerous assailants to deal with at once. If he phases in at the wrong moment, then he'll have a paper blade materialize in his brain for his troubles. Plus, Konan can fly and Tobi can't. So yes, he would defeat them eventually, but it would take time. And between Konan, Kakuzu, Jiraiya and Naruto (who he still thinks can go into uber-powered Kyuubi mode), you can see why he might not want to stick around.**

**I need your advice on something, too. I recently changed the opening completely, essentially turning it into a huge fight scene with a shiny new hook at the beginning. While this seemed like a good idea at the time, right now I have no idea whether that was the right thing to do.**

**So now I come to you, oh people who bothered to read through all 100K+ words, for advice. I know I'm kind of preaching to the faithful (the people who were drawn in enough by the original opening to actually read this far), but I'd appreciate your input. Which course of action should I take?**

**a) I like the new first chapter. Keep that one.**

**b) I liked the old one better (It's currently stored under Failed Reset: The Fall). Go back to that one.**

**c) Cut the new one down the middle. Start with the part where Naruto wakes up to be pecked with a crow. Stick the other half in a second chapter of Failed Reset: The Fall**

**d) I don't like any of them. Start with 'A Beginning'.**

**e) I don't care. Do whatever (vote not required).**

**f) Other!**

**g) Go completely insane. Turn this into a zombie story where Chouji is a necromantic serial murderer, purely for the lulz.**

**I worry that I might be making too big of a deal of it. To be fair, though, it IS the first chapter of the story and henceforth the one that determines whether people will read it or not. Even if you don't care about this, you should still go back and read that chapter. Trust me, it's worth the read.  
**

**Also, we just broke the hundred-thousand word mark! Virtual high-five! Although I do write REALLY big author's notes...**

**Even so! Something to be proud of!**

**Thanks again to ElementKitsune for beta-ing.**

**Failed Reset: No character left behind!**

**Read and Review!**


	20. Chapter Twenty: Cult of the Green Beast

**28/5/2013 - 124 Reviews, 131 Favorites, 156 Followers**

Chapter Twenty: Cult of the Green Beast

xXx

_(Konoha Camp)_

_Naoko Aizawa_

Trader. Used to stop by the house occasionally to deliver shinobi tools. Really funny, used to slip him sweets when his parents weren't looking. Had two sons.

Gone.

_Merumi Suzagawa_

Waitress at the Manako Barbeque House. Long, brown hair, and beautiful sky-blue eyes. Always nice to him, once stood up for him when people were being mean to him. He'd thought more than once about asking her out, but he'd never been able to work up the courage. Dreamed of being a dancer.

Gone.

_Tanigawa Izumo_

Family friend. Was always joining the family for dinner. Never stopped talking, mostly about stuff that made his head hurt. Used to call him 'Chouba Douba' in front of his friends.

Gone.

_Chouza Akimi..._

Oh god.

Chouji squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the faces of the dead from his vision.

When he opened them again, the faces were gone. The sky had gone back to normal, a clear, blue ocean dotted with puffy white clouds.

They were just clouds. Big, fluffy masses of water. Nothing else.

Back before... everything, cloud watching had used to relax him. Not anymore. These days, every cloud took the shape of the face of someone who had died. They whispered to him, pleaded for his help.

Chouji placed his hands on the hard, black stone, lifting himself out of the bedroll he had carried outside and clambering to his feet. He wouldn't be finding any peace in cloud-watching today. Not that there were many other things to do. After that masked man had nearly killed them, Jiraiya and Asuma had ordered that no one under jonin level should leave the bounds of the village, and that even those should go in groups of at least three or more. No one felt much like talking, so for most there wasn't much else to do but sit in silence.

Right now, though, he didn't want to be alone. When he was alone, the whispering would start.

"Hey, you."

Startled, Chouji turned around to see a tall woman with a Suna headband and green-and-orange hair approaching him from behind.

She was the one who'd been leading the Suna squad. Pakura, wasn't it?

"Yes?" He asked.

The woman put her hands on her hips.

"Do you know a guy called Rock Lee?" she demanded.

Chouji nodded. "Yes, I know him."

"Good. I need you to make him go away." she said.

Chouji blinked. "You need me to make him go away? Why? What's he done?"

"He came over a couple of hours ago and started trying to recruit us into some sort of cult." Pakura said. "It was amusing at first, but now it's just kind of annoying. Come get rid of him."

Chouji shook his head in confusion. "Some sort of cult?"

"Calls it the 'Cult of the Green Beast'." Pakura raised her right hand and made a circle with her thumb and index finger. "A couple of my men are _this_ close to throwing kunai at him, and I'm not feeling overly inclined to stop them."

"Cult of the.." Chouji began, before realizing that that sounded serious. "Oh. Well, his teammate would probably be a better choice, but he and I do..."

Pakura raised a hand. "Don't care. Just make him go away."

Well, he had been hoping for a distraction. Now he had one. Pakura was being really rude and kind of abrasive. He wasn't going to mention that, though. He'd never been very good at telling what people were thinking, but he had a feeling that she probably wouldn't be very happy with him if he pointed out how difficult she was being. She probably had her reasons, anyway. When she'd been talking to Asuma, she'd seemed very upset about something.

Besides, he needed to go see what was happening with Lee. He'd heard his pare... people talk about cults before, and they sounded dangerous.

"Okay, I'll come help." he said.

"Good." Pakura said. "Deal with it however you want, but keep in mind that, one way or another, I am going to shut that boy up."

She shot him a sardonic smile. "No pressure."

The Suna ninja turned and took off, striding through the ranks of white tents. Chouji followed, having to scramble a little to keep up.

The leaders had agreed that the Konoha ninja and Suna ninja should be kept separate. That made sense. Even before the invasion, there had been a lot of bad blood between the villages. He remembered his uncle Chouta had always been saying bad things about Suna. Although, Chouta had always hated a lot of things. Chouji felt horrible for thinking it, but he didn't really feel that sad about Chouta dying. Chouta had always been kind of mean. A lot like Pakura, actually.

Actually, it could be a good idea to try and cheer Pakura up. If the leader of the the Suna squad was in a good mood, then it could help with the negotiations. And Chouji had never liked people being sad. He didn't really feel like having a conversation right now, but if it was for the good of Konoha...

Chouta had always perked up when people had talked to him about stuff he liked. Maybe Pakura would do the same?

"Hey, Pakura, what do you like doing?" he asked.

Pakura actually stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"What do you like doing?" Chouji repeated.

She turned to look at him. "I don't... what are you trying to do?"

"Umm... asking you a... question?" He stumbled.

She simply stared at him for a second, one eyebrow raised, then turned and started walking again. "Nothing."

"Oh." Chouji said dumbly, following.

What did women like talking about again? Well, Ino had always liked talking about her clothes. That could work.

"I really like your shirt." He said.

Pakura whirled around.

"Are you trying to _come on _to me?" she demanded. "Are you insane? You're, what, fourteen? What the hell kind of creep do you think I am?"

"No no no, that's not what I was trying to do!" he protested. "I just really... like your shirt."

Pakura's eyes narrowed.

"Are you trying to... make conversation?" she asked, voice dripping with suspicion.

Chouji nodded. "Yes."

"Can you... not?" she asked.

Chouji blinked. "Okay."

Pakura gave him another long, mistrustful stare, then turned and continued walking.

This wasn't working, and Chouji knew why. Shikamaru had told him about this once; if someone was feeling uncomfortable about an issue, then they would try and direct attention away from the subject by stopping conversation. It was called being... avoidance. Or something.

There was nothing to it, then. He was going to have to talk to her about it directly.

Chouji took a moment to prepare himself, then spoke. "Pakura. Is something wrong?"

The woman almost tripped over her own feet. Slowly, she turned, a look of absolute incredulity on her face. "What?"

Chouji gave her his best encouraging smile. "I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong. Let me help you, Pakura."

"I don't... What are you... What?" she stumbled.

"You can't keep feelings bottled up inside of you." he said. "Just let it out and you'll feel better. I think it's called cahartis"

"What exactly are you hoping to achieve from this?" she asked, distrust radiating from every pore.

"I'm trying to heal the wounds in your heart." Chouji said.

Pakura placed two fingers on her forehead. "Guh. Okay. First, it's catharsis. Repeat after me. Catharsis. Ca-thar-sis. Do it. Ca-thar-sis."

"Ca-thar-sis." Chouji repeated.

"Good. Now, second, and listen to this part very closely." Pakura moved right into his face, accenting her words by poking him in the chest. "I do not want to have 'my wounds healed' by you. I do not even want to talk to you."

Chouji smiled understandingly. "You're just trying to push away change. It's perfectly natural."

"Grah! No! I'm not!" Pakura shouted, grabbing his shoulders. "I do not know you! We are not close! The only reason we are having this conversation is because I need you to get your annoying friend to leave! And do you know what? If the rest of the people from your village were as dimwitted as you are, then they deserved to die purely for existing in the first place. Hell, death was probably a mercy! So, please, just shut up!"

Flinging her hands in the air, Pakura stormed off.

Deserved to die?

He'd been wrong about Pakura. No matter how bad you were hurting, you could not justify words like that. She was a horrible person, and he wouldn't try and help her again even if she begged him for it. Uncle Chouta had always called people from Suna 'revolting pigs', and Chouji was starting to suspect that he might be right.

But if Lee was involved in some sort of dangerous cult, then he'd have to put those feelings aside for now. Lee was his friend, and friends did't let nasty people like Pakura get between them.

A couple of minutes later, they arrived at the Suna camp. They'd been allocated a plaza a short distance away from the main square. A ring of tents had been set up, and last time he'd checked the Suna ninja had been spending their time in pretty much the same way as the people from Konoha.

Except not right now, apparently. Because in the middle of the plaza, standing on a wooden block, stood Rock Lee.

"Listen, my friends!" Lee yelled. "If you join the Cult of the Green Beast, the Power of Youth will set you free!"

All eyes in the plaza were on Lee. A couple of the Suna ninja looked amused, but most of them actually looked really annoyed. One of them was tossing a kunai from hand-to-hand and sending Lee threatening glances.

Lee didn't seem to notice. "As Guy-sensei always said, with hard work anything is possible! Join me, Sand people, and you can be part of the wonderful dystopia we will create! A paradise of youthful vigour! If you are an intelligent individual, then you will accept the guidance of Guy-sensei's spirit!"

Of course! This wasn't a bad cult, this was that other thing. That thing where people worshipped famous dead people. It was called a... hero cult! Lee had formed a hero cult in memory of his sensei! That was a wonderful thing to do! Although, the rest of the people there didn't seem to agree. A couple of the Suna ninja were openly snickering.

"His grasp of dogmatic language is rivaled only by your dictionary-like correct pronunciation." Pakura said, having calmed down slightly. "Now go, annoying savior. Free us from the irritating threat that plagues us so."

Chouji glared at her. "You're not being very kind. Lee is..."

"Hush, hush, there is no time for talk." Pakura interjected, shooing him towards Lee. "There is work to be done! Now go and work your magic, aggravating one. We're all counting on you."

Slowly, Chouji made his way to the base of the block. Some of the Suna ninja were looking at him now, and he could feel his palms clamming up. Chouji didn't like crowds.

Lee was still at it. "By following the way of Guy-sensei, you are guaranteed to have an abnormal amount of luck! For that is how his spirit will guide you!"

Chouji reached out a tentative hand and tapped Lee lightly on the leg.

"Your youth will..." Lee looked down, and his smile widened. "Ah, Chouji, my friend! What is it that you want?"

"Um..." Chouji took a deep breath, trying to imagine that the Suna ninja weren't there. "Lee, I, um, need to talk to you."

"I see. But I am educating these good people about the word of Guy-sensei!" Lee said, gesturing to the Suna ninja. "Can it wait?"

Chouji looked at Pakura, who inclined her head towards the knife-tossing ninja. "I... don't think so."

"Well then, what it is?" Lee asked. "I would like to help you, but I am doing important work!"

What was he supposed to say? He couldn't say that Pakura and the rest of the Suna ninja found him annoying. It would break his heart.

Chouji took another quick look around. Everyone was staring at him. Sweat trickled down his sides, making his shirt uncomfortably damp. He really didn't want to do this anymore. If only something happened to distract everyone.

Suddenly, it struck him. He didn't need to distract everyone! He only needed to distract Lee!

Chouji turned back to Lee, puffing himself up. "Lee. I would like to join the Cult of the Green Beast."

An expression of pure, radiant joy appeared on Lee's face. The other boy smiled at him, a smile so full of pride and gratefulness that it almost made his heart melt. Chouji felt a warm fuzzy feeling bubble up in his chest.

"Chouji... thank you, my friend." Lee said, beaming like the sun. "Guy-sensei would be proud. Let me just finish here and I'll take you through the..."

"Nonono, take me though it now!" Chouji said quickly, grabbing Lee's hand and yanking him off the block. "I'm really interested!"

"Oh, OK! If any of you want to join, ask for Rock Lee!" Lee shouted as Chouji dragged him out of the plaza.

"Dystopia can be ours!" One of the Suna ninja yelled after them.

After a minute of running, with Chouji looking over his shoulder every so often to make sure the kunai-guy wasn't following them, they finally slowed their pace.

"So, what does being in the Cult of the Green Beast involve?" Chouji asked.

"I'll show you." Lee said. "Follow me."

The other boy turned and began walking off into the dark village, away from the place that the main camp was located. Chouji followed, feeling slightly nervous.

They traveled down an avenue that Chouji vaguely recognized, then turned into a narrowed street. Lee inclined down an alleyway. "Down here."

Chouji looked around the corner. "Oh. This is... nice."

It was, actually. Chouji was aware that Lee tended to get quite overexcited about things, and he'd half-been expecting something loud and lime-green. Instead, there was a small, tasteful wooden shrine, tucked securely into a back-alley behind a building. It was in the traditional Shinto style, minimally decorated with only a small gold bell and a length of shimenawa. A clay bowl lay at the base of the shrine and in it were a couple of small coins.

With a stillness and solemnity that was unusual for him, Lee reached into his kunai pouch and pulled out a couple of coins. Carefully placing them in the bowl, the boy gave the bell a soft ring, then bowed twice. Lee then closed his eyes and stood motionless for a second, then clapped his hands twice. Finally, the boy bowed twice more.

Chouji was impressed. It seemed so official, like a real religious ceremony. He'd half expected the cult to involve training, or something like that.

Lee motioned for him to step forward.

"When you clap, hold a wish in your mind." the boy whispered.

Chouji nodded, and stepped forward. He pulled out a coin of his own and repeated Lee's initial actions, then closed his eyes.

A wish. He felt as if a great weight had settled on his shoulders, as if what he said now would place his future in stone. What did he want? Well, if he could have anything, then he'd wish his parents and friends back. Unfortunately, it didn't work that way, so he was going to have to think of something different.. So what did he want, more than anything else in the world?

"I wish... that everyone was safe. Lee, Shikamaru, Ino, Asuma, Naruto, Tenten, Kakashi, even Sasuke. Everyone that I care about. Just... keep them safe." he whispered, squeezing his eyes extra-tight to make it extra-effective.

Then, Chouji clapped his hands, bowed twice more and stepped backwards. He probably just imagined it, but for a second he thought he felt a soft pressure rest upon his shoulder.

Lee closed his eyes again and brought his hands together. "Guy-sensei, guide us to life, to prosperity and to peace."

"Guy-sensei, guide us to life, to prosperity and to peace." Chouji repeated.

They reopened their eyes. Lee turned to him and gave him another of those brilliant smiles. Chouji felt the warm feeling bubble up inside him again.

"Thank you, Chouji, my friend." Lee said.

Chouji smiled. "No problem. I've got a question, though. Why'd you put the shrine in an alley?"

"Because Guy-sensei preached that greatness can come from anywhere, even someone like me. It seemed fitting." Lee replied, with that same odd solemnity that Chouji had never really seen in him before.

'Greatness can come from anywhere'. What a wonderful idea. Chouji hadn't spent much time around Lee's sensei, but by the sound of it Guy had been a really great person. It made him feel kind of sad, actually.

"Come on! We should get back to the camp!" Lee said, returning instantly to his usual loud, boisterous self. "Feel free to come back here whenever you want."

Chouji nodded. "Thanks. I might do that."

He wasn't a very religious person by nature, but it the prayer had actually made him feel a lot better. And it had made Lee smile. Smiles were all too rare these days, so if all it took to get one was a few minutes of his time and a ryo coin, then Chouji would give gladly.

xXx

Where the hell was that sexist bastard?

Temari wandered through the Konoha camp, scanning the rows of tents for the distinctive black ponytail of Shikamaru Nara. Nothing. Just hordes of depressed-looking civies and the occasional Konoha shinobi.

She might as well ask someone. There weren't exactly many of them left, they were probably all on first name terms by now.

She tapped a brown-haired girl in a Konoha headband on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm looking for..."

The girl turned around, and Temari realized she was looking at the girl she had defeated in the Konoha chunin exam preliminaries. Tenten recognized her too, if the sudden reddening of her face was any indication.

"What do _you_ want?" Tenten snapped.

Temari was faced with something of a dilemma. On the one hand, her instincts were screaming at her to respond by mocking Tenten within an inch of her life. Temari didn't like it when people got impetuous or lippy. On the other, the girl had just lost just about everyone she cared about. Taunting her right now would be a little too much like what Pakura had been doing when they'd first arrived. Plus, that damn shrink her brother had forced her to go to had claimed that she got pissed off so much because she'd been bullied (terrorized) by Gaara for most of her life. This was a chance to prove the smarmy little bastard wrong.

Just this once, she'd let Tenten off the hook.

"I'm looking for Shikamaru Nara." she said.

Tenten raised her chin. "Yeah? Why?"

Temari shrugged. "Boredom, mostly. Plus, we've worked together a couple of times."

"Why should I tell you?" Tenten asked.

"Well, we are technically allies." Temari replied. "Honestly, I don't really care either way. If you're going to be a bitch about this, then I'll just ask someone else."

"Allies? You..." Tenten snarled, then visibly calmed herself. "Shikamaru is out near the Hokage Monument. I know Suna doesn't have a monument, but I'm sure even you'll be able to find your way there, right?"

Ouch? Wow, girl did not know how to trash talk. 'Suna doesn't have a monument'? Really?

"Thanks for your help." Temari said, turning away. As targets went, Tenten was _too_ easy. It would be like challenging someone with crippling social anxiety to a public debate, not so much amusing as just painfully uncomfortable.

...Actually no, that would be pretty funny. She'd have to try that sometime.

After checking with another ninja to find that, yes, Tenten had lied to her about the directions, Temari found herself up on the walls. Shikamaru was sitting a short distance away from the gate, his legs dangling listlessly over the outward side. He didn't seem to be doing anything in particular, just gazing out over the forests.

Temari gave a small wave. "Hey."

Shikamaru looked up. "Oh. Hey."

Brushing a couple of leaves over the edge, Temari sat down next to him. All of a sudden, she realized that she wasn't sure what to say.

"What's up?"

Yeah... that wasn't it.

Shikamaru blinked. "Uh... I'm not entirely sure what to say to that."

"I mean, how are you holding up?" she amended.

"Uh, fine, fine, I guess." he said, obviously having trouble vocalizing his thoughts. "I mean, well, obviously the... but, um... I'm fine."

"Oh. Good." she replied.

There was a moment of silence.

"It's been pretty tricky, but yeah, I'm fine. What about, uh, you?" he finished lamely.

"Yeah, I'm good." she said.

There was more silence. Temari stared down at her feet. This was one of the more painfully awkward conversations that she'd been involved in in a while. The thing was, it wasn't like she didn't have anything to talk about. Gaara had come back from the future, for God's sake! She just wasn't sure how to bring it up. Or whether she could bring it up. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure what had brought her here in the first place. She didn't mind his company, but it wasn't like they were friends or anything.

Could she... have a thing for him? Temari thought about it for a second, then put the thought from her mind. Shikamaru was smart, she'd give him that, but that was about it. Physically and socially, she was above his league.

"Your leader."

Temari looked up. "What?"

"Your leader." Shikamaru repeated, meeting her gaze. "She's... uh..."

"A sardonic harpy who refuses to give a blazing shit about anyone?" she interjected.

Shikamaru blinked, then shot her a look of absolute bewilderment. "Uh, yeah. That."

"Not my words, if that's what you're wondering." she said. "Kankuro described her like that, and it seemed too good not to repeat."

"Hmm, I didn't think it sounded like you." Shikamaru plucked a leaf out of the air and began examining it intently. "Good description though. Fitting."

"Yeah." she said.

There was another stretch of silence. Shikamaru's posture, though relaxed on the surface, radiated uncomfortableness. Odd, he'd never had any difficulty with basic small talk before. Temari turned away from him and began kicking the back of her feet against the wall.

"You know," she said, unable to keep the hint of irritation out of her voice, "it's fairly difficult to hold a conversation when the other person doesn't bother to make an effort."

"Oh, um, I'm sorry." Shikamaru said, raising his left hand to rub his eyes, which Temari noted were underlined with sunken grey circles. "I just... um... lot on my mind."

Then, his expression turned vaguely accusatory. He turned to her and opened his mouth, then shut it again and returned to examining the leaf.

Temari's eyes narrowed. "What?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "Nothing."

She reached over and dig her index finger into the soft flesh under his rib cage. "What?"

Rather than yelling in surprise or anger as she'd expected, Shikamaru calmly reached down and pulled the finger out. The boy looked up at her with an irritated expression, hand still wrapped around her finger. "I did make an effort. I asked you about Pakura."

"Try harder, sweetie." she said, with a touch more condescension than intended.

For whatever reason, that seemed to get his hackles up. Shikamaru glared at her. "You know, you have a tendency to blame other people whenever you have a problem. To be entirely honest, it's very irritating."

Immediately, a wave of indignation and anger exploded across her senses. This lazy little fucker had the balls to criticize her? What the hell did he know? He'd never stepped into her shoes, what made him think he could judge her?

Temari ripped her hand out of Shikamaru's grasp. "Try looking in a mirror sometime, asshole."

To her great surprise once again, Shikamaru didn't back down. The boy spoke in a dull, flat voice, eyeing her like she was an irritating child. "You're being a denialist and painful, and I don't have the energy to deal with your insecurity-ridden ego right now. Go away."

Insecurity-ridden ego? She'd been insulted plenty of times before (these days, 'bitch' had pretty much become a compliment), but there was something different about Shikamaru's disparaging words, something that drove her to fury. Whatever her original reasons for coming up here had been, they were washed away in the tide. Outrage coursed through her veins. This pathetic, weepy little coward had the gall to call her insecure? He was trying to make himself feel better by pushing his feelings of guilt and anxiety onto her!

Suddenly, she wanted to make him hurt. A lot. She wanted to make him see that it was his fears that he was projecting onto her, wanted to grind his face into the dirt until it bled.

"Deny this!" Temari snarled, pulling back her fist and driving it hard into his cheek.

Shikamaru didn't recoil, or cry out in pain. He didn't even move. He just sat there, motionless, a small trickle of blood dripping down his chin. Finally, he turned to her, locking his fingers around her wrist and forcefully lowering her arm.

"Ya done?" Shikamaru spat the words out like dirt.

"Yeah, I think so." Temari angrily pushed herself to her feet and turned to leave.

His mocking words followed her. "See? A hint of criticism, and you go defensive. You've always been like this."

Suddenly, it clicked. Temari stopped and slowly turned around. "You're from the future."

Shikamaru didn't move a muscle, but she could see it in his eyes. She was right.

Oh, this had potential. Physical pain wouldn't work, it would just make him feel self-righteous and possibly get her stripped of rank in the process. But she'd seen first-hand just how cloyingly emotional Shikamaru got about his friends. And she was going to make his heart _bleed_. Screw not being like Pakura.

She crouched down next to him. "Tell me sweetie, what happened to you in the future? Because from what I've heard from Gaara, things went bad."

Shikamaru broke away from her gaze, turning to stare out over the forests. Temari felt a tiny jolt of triumph. This was the right avenue to take.

"Everyone died. Everyone died, and once again you didn't have the strength to stop it." Temari ran a finger down Shikamaru's cheek, relishing at the way he tensed under her touch. "You're not cut out to be a shinobi."

Shikamaru's jaw tightened, and his breathing became ever so slightly heavier. Temari felt the thrill of a successful kill course through her body. She was so close; just a little further...

She lent in even closer, until her lips were almost touching his ear. "You're worthless, sweetie. You're a failure; as a leader, as a ninja and as a friend."

Shikamaru took a sharp breath in, his face paling and his entire body going taunt. Temari leaned back, a satisfied smirk on her face. Success.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the tension seemed to just drain out of Shikamaru's frame. The boy let himself flop backwards onto the stone, hands coming up to form a cushion underneath his head.

Shikamaru looked up at her, an expression of sanguine relaxation on his face. "I know. Terrible, isn't it? Guess I'll just have to try twice as hard next time."

Temari blinked. Where had that come from? She'd had him on the ropes! What the hell had she done wrong?

Wait... there was something familiar about this conversation.

"_You're just a coward."_

"_Worthless."_

"_Even if you quit being a shinobi, missions will still occur."_

"_Become greater for the sake of your friends!"_

"_That is what it means to be a real companion!"_

Goddamn it! She'd reminded him of the conversation he'd had with his father after that failed mission! Lazy-boy had just rediscovered his sense of determination, and it was all her fault! Fuck!

Shikamaru smiled up at her, a smile completely lacking in malice. "Look, you know what? I'm sorry. I was completely out of line, and I didn't mean what I said. I was projecting my own feelings onto you."

He was... Ha! She knew it! That was the trouble with dealing with insecure people, they took their insecurities out on the people around them! Of course, that didn't magically make everything right.

Temari put her hands on her hips. "You're going to have to do better than that."

"Okay, how about this." he said, staring up at her with dark orbs alive with conviction. "You're one of the strongest, most confident people I've ever met, and I'm glad to know you."

Oh... that was... huh. Temari felt a warm feeling burst up through her chest, battling with the the fiery anger. The compliment won. Just.

"Hmph, a little simpering for my tastes," Temari harrumphed, "but I guess... Uh, fine. Sure, whatever."

What did you know. Lazy-boy had grown a backbone, even if it had turned him into a projecting asshole. Sure, he hadn't been able to sustain for very long, but the very fact that he'd shown any sort of resistance to anything was quite the shock.

Temari sat back down next to him, dangling her legs over the side. "That better not have been some sort of pathetic flirt, by the way."

That didn't mean she liked him, though. He was still a lazy, unmotivated slob.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Shikamaru pulled himself up into a sitting position. "Now, tell me about Pakura."

"What about her?" she said.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Well, for a start, she's supposed to be dead. I'm assuming that she was resurrected?"

Temari nodded. "Yep. It wasn't a smooth resurrection, either. She broke out of her mausoleum, smashed up a few of the graves and then went on a destructive rampage through the streets. Maki managed to talk her down, but..."

"Maki? Shikamaru interjected.

"Former student." Temari said.

"Hn. Continue." Shikamaru said.

"So Maki managed to talk her down, but she's still generally pissed at everything." Temari grimaced. "Apparently, she met my dad in the future and he said some things that she didn't appreciate. She wasn't just put on this mission because she was resurrected; we really needed to get her out of Suna."

That was an understatement. Some of the things that woman had been yelling...

"Oh yes. How did the people of Suna reacted to having a zombie in their midst?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well, considering all the other insane stuff that happened that night, one resurrection didn't actually make that big of a splash." Temari said. "Thankfully, we've managed to keep the whole future-time travel thing under wraps, only me, Gaara, Kankuro, Chiyo, Ebizo, Maki and Pakura know. Unfortunately, we couldn't keep Pakura a secret; by the time we got to her she'd smashed up a whole district. Kankuro suggested we lock her up, but half of Suna would probably revolt if we tried."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I noticed that none of your people seemed willing to call her out. Why?"

Temari let out a sigh, clasping her arms to herself. "For years, she was lauded as the perfect Suna kunoichi; powerful, beautiful and willing to die for the village. Most of the younger generations grew up on tales about her; Pakura the Brave, Pakura the Loyal, Pakura of the Scorch Release. When she died, an official day of mourning was ordered for the entire village. Turns out, my father and his council were the ones who killed her."

Shikamaru winced. "Ah."

Temari nodded, a hint of anger entering her voice. "They turned her over to Kiri, and used her death as an excuse to start a war with Cloud. She's pretty much been yelling it from the rooftops, and the whole village is up in arms as a result."

"Propaganda backfire." Shikamaru noted.

"Exactly." Temari said. "All the effort that my dad put into turning her into a martyr has backfired spectacularly..."

Wait, why was she doing all the talking? He was the one who had come back from the future! That was far more interesting than a lone resurrected ninja, even if it was her childhood hero.

She flicked him. "Enough about Pakura. Tell me about the future."

Shikamaru looked at her in mild surprise. "I would have thought Gaara would have told you."

"Gaara's been busy," Temari ran a hand through her hair, "so that job falls to you. I want details, Nara."

Shikamaru smirked. "You're not even going to say please?"

Temari shot him a look.

"Heh. Troublesome." he muttered.

Shikamaru started to talk. Temari started to listen.

xXx

"Yep, this is definitely Hiruko's work."

Naruto looked up at him from his bed. "Can you fix it?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Yeah, it's a pretty simple genjutsu variant. Shouldn't be too difficult to break. Let me just..."

The Sannin placed a hand on Kakashi's head and channeled a pulse of disruptive chakra. The unconscious copy-ninja gave a spasm, then fell still.

Naruto smiled at him. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Jiraiya sat down on the end of Naruto's bed, looking his student straight in the eyes. "Now then, I think we need to have a little talk."

Yesterday had been an interesting day. Not only had he been reunited with Konan, he had also discovered that the extra mental years had done nothing for Naruto's near-suicidal tendencies. After making sure that Kakashi was securely restrained (in a separate tent this time), he'd confined Naruto and Haku to hospital beds. His chest seemed to be healing up nicely, but his pinky wasn't showing any signs of regrown. Haku hadn't shown any signs of waking up soon, either.

"About what?" Naruto asked.

"What do you think, Naruto?" Jiraiya said. "Jumping in front of a Chidori, for a start. Couldn't you disable him any other way?"

Naruto shrugged. "It was the only way to be certain. Sure, I could have tried to hit him across the head, but what if I'd missed? Zabuza and Haku could have been killed!"

"Ah yes, Zabuza." Jiraiya said. "The bloodthirsty killer who you insisted to me was a 'good man'. Who then cut off your finger."

"He is a good man." Naruto replied.

"He cut off your finger, Naruto." Jiraiya repeated. "After you took a Chidori for him."

"Yes, but he could have killed me." Naruto replied. "He didn't. I don't really mind, Ero-Sennin. He even picked my non-dominant hand. And Haku stayed with us, so a finger is a small price to pay. Besides, I'm sure we can find a way to regrow it."

Jiraiya sighed. "I'm starting to think that he was right about your messiah complex. You sound like some of cross between a prophet and a masochist."

Naruto rubbed the stump, which had healed over. "I didn't _enjoy_ it, Ero-Sennin. It's just not that big of a deal."

Not that big of a deal? In all his life, Jiraiya had never come across someone who was willing to forgive as easy as Naruto. On one level, it was inspiring. On another, though, he couldn't help but be concerned for his student. Zabuza was right, with the world like it was now, that degree of ideology could get his student killed. The lesson didn't seem to have sunk in, though. If anything, it had only made Naruto more determined to prove that the swordsman was a 'good guy'.

Still, he could come back to their ideological disparities later. Right now, there were more important things to cover.

"We'll discuss this later." Jiraiya said. "Second thing; Hiruko. Last I heard, the man had died decades ago. And yet, not only is he active, but you seem to know who he is. Why?"

"He showed up in the future and tried to take Kakashi-sensei's Sharingan." Naruto replied.

"Why didn't you inform me?" Jiraiya shot back.

"Compared to Tobi and Orochimaru, he just didn't seem like that big of a threat." Naruto said. "Ero-Sennin, between now and when I came back in time, I had to deal with hundreds of psychos, traitors and maniacs. Akatsuki and Otogakure have always been the major dangers, and Hiruko just kind of got lost in the mix. He wasn't even active for another couple of years or so."

Jiraiya sighed. "Okay, I get it. Now, this is very important. Are there any other major threats that you haven't told me about? Keep in mind, I'm already aware of Akatsuki, Orochimaru, Kabuto and Moryo."

"Ah, okay," Naruto scratched the back on his head, "well, the first major one would probably be Haido. He..."

"...Tried to take over the country using the Gelel Vein." Jiraiya interjected. "I read the report. He's already happened."

"Oh, my bad." Naruto gave his head a slight shake. "Sorry, my memories are all kind of jumbled up. Okay, so Doto and Shabadaba are already out of the picture too, right?"

"If you're talking about your missions to the Land of Spring and the Kingdom of the Moon, then yes, those already happened." Jiraiya said.

"Okay, well, if you already know about Moryo and Gaara's kidnapping, then the first major threat would probably be Asuma's teammate from the Twelve Ninja Guardians, Kazuma." Naruto said. "He tried to unite the country under the Fire Daimyo by destroying Konoha."

Jiraiya blinked. "Okay. Tell me, has he actually met the Fire Daimyo?"

Naruto shrugged. "That's what he tried to do. Honestly, we could probably handle him without too much trouble. You, me and Yama- Tenzo could probably handle his entire group by ourselves. Except... wait, there was something else."

Jiraiya waited patiently for a second as Naruto closed his eyes, and expression of concentration on his face.

Suddenly, the boy's eyes flashed open and he slapped his forehead. "Sora! Kazuma's son! He's at the Fire Temple. He has fragments of Kurama's chakra in his system! We need to get him out of there before Kazuma comes for him!"

Oh. That wasn't good.

Jiraiya took a deep breath. "Naruto... The Fire Temple was destroyed four days ago."

Naruto stared at him. "What?"

"I got a message from one of my agents. Four nights ago, some sort of gigantic rock formation sprouted out of the ground directly underneath the Temple. The whole thing was destroyed, the monks with it."

"Rock formation... one of Kazuma's guys could create those!" Naruto growled, pushing himself up out of his blankets. "We need to..."

"No, Naruto, we don't." Jiraiya said, preempting Naruto's statement. "I know what you're thinking, but things are different now."

"Sora is..."

"Long gone, presuming he even survived the attack. It happened four days ago, Naruto. We need you here. If Kazuma comes here, then we'll deal with him then. If not, then we have bigger things to deal with."

"Ero-Sennin, Sora is a jinchuriki!" Naruto protested. "Now that I don't have the Kyuubi anymore, sooner or later someone is going to come for him instead!"

Jiraiya rubbed his head. "Look, I'll get what people I have left to try and track him down, but you need to stay here. What happens if Akatsuki decides to try and finish us off while you're away, hmm? People are relying on you, Naruto. Right now, Konoha has to be our first priority."

Naruto remained still for a second, obviously torn by indecision, then slumped back into his bedsheets and gave a heavy, drawn-out sigh. "I'll... do as you say, Jiraiya."

He didn't want to have to do this. His student had already lost so much, and Jiraiya could tell that to Naruto, every friend lost was like being stabbed in the heart. Adding in the fact that there was now apparently a second Kyuubi jinchuriki out there, the whole thing was a clusterfuck of royal proportions. But survival had to come first, and that meant knowing what the dangers were.

Jiraiya rubbed the back of his head. "So, what else was there?"

"Okay, after Kazuma, Hidan and Kakuzu showed up. Then we tried to seal away the Sanbi, and had to deal with a whole lot of guys from Otogakure. Then... oh." Naruto stopped.

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Naruto swallowed. "Shinno. The Land of Sky tried to invade us."

"The Land of Sky? They were destroyed during the Second Shi..." Jiraiya stopped, then sighed. "You know what? Screw it. I'm too tired to be surprised anymore. The Land of Sky? Sure, why not. Any idea where they are now?"

Naruto shook his head. "No idea. When they attacked, they had some sort of gigantic airborne fortress. They could be anywhere."

Jiraiya sighed again. "Of course. What else? When did Hiruko join the fray?"

"Well, Hiruko came a little bit after that. Then..." Naruto looked at the ground. "You died."

Jiraiya reached over and flicked him on the nose. "Stop that. The whole point of this is to stop that happening again. Was there anything else?"

"Two more things." Naruto said. First, a man named Shiranami tried to use the Tsuchigumo clan kenjutsu to take over the world. Oh yeah, do you know what that is?"

"Forbidden Life Technique Release: Creation of Heaven and Earth, yes." Jiraiya said. "I'm not sure how you'd be able to take over the world with that, though. Sure it can blow up a village, but use it once, and you'd have assassins from every major village after your head before the day was out."

"I know, the guy wasn't exactly terrifying either." Naruto replied. "We took him down pretty easy. The other one... I'm not really sure if it happened."

Jiraiya cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Well, some guys from Kusa framed me for attacking the Raikage and stuck me in a prison. They wanted to use Kurama's chakra to open something called the Box of Ultimate Bliss. Thing is, Uncle Bee helped me beat the weird monster that came out of the box, yet I could swear that I only met Bee on that giant Turtle Island, right before the war." Naruto scratched his head. "It's weird."

Jiraiya gave a shrug. "Your memories probably got mixed up during the trip back. You can give me a full report later, but we should probably discuss the most pertinent threat first. You said Hiruko tried to take Kakashi's Sharingan?"

"Yeah, he had this weird ability that let him absorb bloodlines." Naruto said.

He could... oh, that son of a bitch. He'd finally perfected it.

"Chimera Technique." Jiraiya breathed.

"You know it?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah. It's why he got kicked out of Konoha in the first place." Jiraiya spat.

xXx

_(Many years in the past - Konoha)_

"Bleeeeeeh!"

Behind him, one of his jonin subordinates vomited the contents of his stomach into a corner of the hallway. The other one was hyperventilating, her hands visibly shaking.

The plush, red carpet that lined the cheerily-lit stone hallway seemed at incontrovertible odds with the tomb of horrors he had just witnessed, the dark, yawning entrance to which lay directly to his right. A few meters in front of him stood a man with shoulder-length white hair, pale red eyes and arms encased entirely in bandages. In his right hand, Hiruko held a struggling young man with black hair by the neck; in his left was a similar-looking woman. The man's face was solemn, almost haunted.

"What have you done?" Jiraiya mumbled.

Hiruko lowered his head. "I... had to. I had only the noblest of reasons, Jiraiya. You see, my mother is dying, and the only way to cure her is..."

Suddenly, Hiruko's head shot up and his face morphed into a delighted grin. "Ahahaha! I kid! I kid! That would be totally stupid!"

Jiraiya stared at him in mute disbelief. This wasn't Hiruko. This couldn't be Hiruko. Hiruko was an awkward, quiet, introverted kid who spent most of his time training and reading fiction. Jiraiya had never even heard him raise his voice.

"You have to admit though, I had you for a second there, eh?" Hiruko laughed, sounding for all the world like someone discussing an inside joke with a close friend. "Did you like it, Jirai~ya? I bet you're wondering how I took off all that guy's skin without killing him, huh? Well let me tell you, it wasn't easy! I had to go through a half-dozen people to get it right. Still, you know what they say; joy is found not in the destination, but the journey!"

"What the hell happened to you, Hiruko?" Jiraiya whispered.

"Well, you see, it all started when I fell in love with a woman from another village, only to be betrayed!" Hiruko's face morphed into an expression of theatrical sadness, his words punctuated by melodramatic gestures. "As a result, I spiraled down a terrible cycle of self-destruction, spurred on by the cruel taunts of my peers and constant physical abuse from my father. Oh yeah, and I have a twin sister who has always outshone me. So you see, it's really not my fault!"

Hiruko didn't have a father. Or a sister. His mother was a baker, and one of the nicest women that Jiraiya had ever met. Hiruko was listing literary cliches.

"Why?" he demanded.

"I can't help it! The hunger threatens to consume me!" The white haired man fell to his knees, crocodile tears dripping down his cheeks. "Please, lead me to redemption, oh noble Sannin! Save me from the, *sniff*, darkness of my soul! Bring me back to the way of the Leaf! Stop me before another innocent life is lost!"

Jiraiya had seen Hiruko cry before. Back when they were kids, he, Tsunade and Orochimaru had once spent an entire night comforting a sobbing Hiruko. Had that been fake? Hiruko certainly wanted him to think so.

Hiruko returned to his feet, then with a sickening crack snapped the neck of the man he was holding with a flick of his wrist. Jiraiya's eyes widened and he moved to run forward, but Hiruko gestured warningly to the woman in his other hand. Jiraiya froze.

"Oh. Ah... Well, I, uh, guess that ends that." Hiruko shrugged apologetically, then gave the man's body a jiggle. "Oh hey, check this out! You're going to love this one!"

The bandages around Hiruko's arms suddenly sprang into life. A half-dozen tendrils emerged and homed in on the body in Hiruko's hand. Chunks of flesh and rivers of blood fell to the floor. Jiraiya could only watch in horror as the tendrils _disassembled_ the man, until only a long, thin piece of bloody bone was left. The woman's eyes rolled up into her head, and she went slack.

How long had Hiruko been hiding this side of him? Months? Years? No, it was more than that. All the warning signs that he'd dismissed and ignored came flooding back to him. The skinned, tortured animals they'd found around the Academy. The disturbed drawings. The patients who had gone missing from the hospital. Hiruko had been like this for a long, long time.

The red-eyed man stepped out of the puddle of gore at his feet, laughing like a child who has just discovered a new toy. "Wasn't that cool? And now I have a fancy new walking stick! This is turning into the best day ever!"

The pale man seemed to find himself endlessly amusing. There was no sense of real connection, though. Jiraiya got the impression that he was just a blank slate to Hiruko, a warm body he could monologue at to show how _clever _and _funny_ he was.

Hiruko waved the gruesome artifact at him. "Now then, unless you want me to add a second spine to my collection, you're going to let me walk out of that exit to my left, and you're not going to call for back-up for at least, oh, ten minutes? That seems fair."

"You think I'm just going to let you leave? After what you're done?" Jiraiya demanded.

Hiruko stared at him for a second, then smiled. "Yep. Tsunade, maybe not. Orochimaru, not a chance in hell. But you? Yeah, probably."

Was Hiruko insane? Jiraiya wanted to believe that, he really did. But the Sannin had had too much experience with the mad and the psychotic to make that mistake. All that insane rambling, all that talk about 'hunger' and 'darkness'? It was all calculated. Hiruko was as sane as he was. It wasn't madness that lay behind those pale eyes. It was evil. Sadistic, malevolent cruelty, hidden with a paper-thin veneer of facetious humor and a smile. That flippancy, the faux-friendliness, everything had logical intention behind it. Hiruko just wanted to drive home how far he was above petty concerns of ethics and morality; how completely and utterly superior he was to everyone else.

Hiruko stopped, as if struck by a sudden thought. "One more thing, Jirai~ya. I... was once jealous of you. I know, it seems so silly now, but back then it was it was tearing me apart. I was a poor, insecure kid, unable to find his place in the world. But do you know what?"

The pale man brushed an imaginary tear from underneath his eye, then beamed him a smile so sincere and grateful that Jiraiya could almost believe that it was genuine. "I think I'm going to be alright. I'm going to be okay, Jiraiya. Do you know why?"

Hiruko grinned. "It's because now I have a spine walking stick, and it is the best thing ever. See ya!"

Hiruko stepped out of the door, keeping the woman between him and Jiraiya. There was a whistle, a clatter of machinery, and a huge slab of black granite tumbled down to block the exit.

The second Hiruko was out of sight, Jiraiya span around to face the jonin behind him. "Get word to the Hokage. I want every available shinobi hunting that man. That bastard dies today, do you hear me?"

xXx

_(Present - Konoha)_

"He went through nearly a dozen Hyuuga and Uchiha before we found his little hideaway." Jiraiya growled. "Some of the experiments that that man conducted..."

"He sounds like Orochimaru." Naruto said.

Jiraiya shook his head. "Not quite. Orochimaru was actually fairly normal at first; he didn't start showing signs of becoming what he is now until he was in his mid-teens, at least. There was always something wrong with Hiruko, even back when he was a child. Orochimaru was cruel because it was efficient; Hiruko was cruel because he got off on it. He wasn't just apathetic, he found human suffering hilarious. He was a sadistic, manipulative little piece of shit who turned people into monsters for his own amusement."

"He claimed that the Sannin tried to kill him." Naruto said.

"I thought we had." Jiraiya said bitterly. "What was the other one? Did he go for another Hyuuga?"

Naruto's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Other one? What do you mean?"

"The other kekkei genkai." Jiraya said. "Which one was it?"

"Um... Ero-Sennin, there wasn't just one." Naruto said.

Icy fingers gripped Jiraiya's spine. "Not just one? But Chimera could only... how many? How many could he absorb?"

Naruto gulped. "Five."

Jiraiya's eyes widened. "...Five. Which five?"

Naruto fidgeted nervously. "Umm... I don't really remember the names. I think there was one that let him suck in chakra, one that turned his skin into metal, one that made him move really fast and... one that I think was Storm Release."

Dark Release, Steel Release, Storm Release and sounded suspiciously like Swift Release. Plus the Sharingan. That was one hell of an arsenal. If Hiruko ever managed to get his nasty little hands on all five, the world would pay in blood. He'd probably start wiping out small civilian villages, just for the hell of it. And yet Naruto had hardly seemed concerned at all.

"Naruto, when you said that Hiruko 'just didn't seem like that big of a threat'," Jiraiya said slowly, "please explain what you meant."

"Well, he wasn't." Naruto replied. "I didn't even need sage chakra. I just hit him with a Rasenshuriken."

Jiraiya's eyebrows knitted together. "He wasn't able to dodge it?"

Naruto shrugged. "No, he, uh, tried to absorb it, and when that didn't work he just kind of stood there and waited for it to hit him. Honestly, the fight itself only lasted around five minutes."

Five minutes. Of course, he was being stupid. Hiruko was a sadist, but he was also a paragon of arrogance, and a bloodline was only as good as its user. He was letting the past get the better of him.

And yet...

Any further thoughts along that track were curtailed indefinitely as Kakashi gave a muffled groan and began to shuffle about.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto leapt out of his bed, then gave a yell of pain and tumbled to the ground with a loud thud. "Argh!"

Shaking his head, Jiraiya reached down and picked up his student, putting him back in the bed. "Remember what I said about not moving, kiddo? That still applies."

The Sannin turned to the other bed. "Kakashi? You awake?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm awake." Kakashi's eyes fluttered open.

Naruto's face lit up with joy and propped himself up in his bed. Then, a look of realization crossed his face and his demeanor turned solemn.

"Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said, voice soft and quiet. "Do you..."

"Yes, I know." Kakashi's words were steady, though heavy with sadness.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked, concern clear on his face.

"I've had my time to mourn." Kakashi's lone eye bored into Naruto. "And it seems that now is the time for action. You've done well, Naruto."

Despite the gloom that had settled on his features, the boy puffed himself up slightly at the praise.

The white-haired man turned to him, lifting a manacled arm. "Now, if you wouldn't mind taking these off me, I believe there is work to be done."

Jiraiya pulled the key out from his shirt and shot the man a small, grim smile. "Gladly. Good to have you back, Kakashi."

xXx

She could not _believe_ she was doing this.

For the second time that day, she was in the civilian camp area. The blood-orange sun was just beginning to fall under the horizon, and several men and women were going around lighting torches. At one end of the camp, dozens of people were lining up in front of a gigantic cauldron, where a man in shinobi gear was handing out bowls of stew. Another shinobi stood nearby, dispensing food rations and marking the hands of the civilians with a special stamp. A third man was handing out other essentials, like pieces of clothing and slabs of soap.

A middle-aged civilian man in the process of climbing out of a tent saw her, froze, and then sent her his best attempt at a death glare. Pakura flipped him off and kept walking.

It should not be that hard to find a single, stupid fat kid! Was he off somewhere with the green monstrosity? She was not going to waste her time searching Konoha for him! She didn't care that much. Besides, her subordinates were currently engaged in a very amusing contest to see who could come up with the best nickname for that Konoha genin who had tried so disastrously to convert them. Current favorites were 'Reverend Peacock', 'The Viridian Archfiend' and 'Greenfant Terrible'.

All she had to do was turn around. Turn around, go back to her camp and take part in some good old communal mocking. Turn around. Turn ar-

There he was.

Goddamn it!

The fat kid was sitting with his back pressed up against one of Konoha's stone walls, eyes closed. Against her will, her feet began walking towards him.

Grah! Why was she doing this? Why did she feel so bad about him? He was a Konoha ninja! He'd insulted her!

...Okay, maybe not intentionally, she doubted he had the guile for that, but still! He'd been a colossal pain! And what, now she was forgiving the Suna ninja too? They didn't deserve forgiveness! They'd all screwed her over!

...Well, not those ones in particular, but they were part of the system that had! Why the hell did she have to be the one to have a moral compass?!

With a soft thud, her feet came to a stop. Less that a meter away, the fat kid sat, blissfully unaware of her presence. Or was he just ignoring her, pretending that he didn't know she was there?

No. He wasn't smart enough.

She tapped him with her foot. "Hey. Kid. Oy."

The boy's eyes flashed open, saw her standing over him, and hardened slightly. "What do you want?"

"I, uh... ugh." Pakura put a hand over her face and groaned. It was hard to get the words out. "I, uh, wanted to say that I'm... ngh... sorry about what I said."

His eyes widened. "What? Really?"

She nodded. "Yep. I... got angry, and I said some stuff that was unfair."

"Oh." he looked down at the ground for a second, running his tongue over his teeth as he mulled it over. "Well, um, wow. That's really nice of you."

Oh god, if he started up with that 'healing your heart' crap again... Pakura raised her hands in protest. "Uhuhuh, nonononono. Don't take this the wrong way, we're not friends or anything. I just felt slightly bad, that's all."

The boy thought about it for a second more, then nodded to himself, as if convinced. Then he smiled up at her, with those damn innocent, guileless eyes. "That is okay, Pakura. I forgive you. Besides, I am not completely free of blame."

Pakura raised an eyebrow. "Hmm?"

The boy's smile dimmed slightly, and he looked down at the ground. "I... didn't just try and make you feel happy because I wanted you to feel better. I thought that if you were happier, then you and Jiraiya and Asuma might get along better."

He actually felt guilty about that? This kid was so sweet it was painful. In all her years, she'd never come across a civilian this sappily, idealistically, guilelessly sentimental, let alone a ninja. How did he function?

Well, she supposed that the least she could do was get his name. She dimly remembered it being mentioned at some point, but she hadn't considered it important enough to memorize.

"Hey, kid, what was your name again?" she asked.

He smiled again and stuck out a hand. "I'm Chouji. Chouji Akimichi."

She took it. "Pakura. Nice to meet you, I guess."

They shook, and Chouji retracted his hand. The boy gave her a grin. "Well, Pakura, I think this could be the beginning of a..."

Quick as a flash, Pakura span and stretched out her arm, her finger millimeters from Chouji's nose.

"Do not finish that sentence." she growled.

Chouji closed his mouth and nodded.

Suddenly, the sounds of commotion came from the other side of the camp. Pakura and Chouji turned as one to see the green monstrosity himself come thundering into the center of the camp. Pakura noticed that he was carrying an opened red scroll in his right hand, a scroll that bore the symbol of Suna on it.

She also noticed that there was a Suna ninja running after him, face white and filled with trepidation.

The green monstrosity came to a stop and raised its hands.

"My friends," he yelled, "great news! We have received a fantastic offer! The Kazekage has agreed to let us all leave this village and move to Suna!"

There was a moment of silence.

Pakura ran a hand over her face. "Guh."

The square exploded into pandemonium.

xXx

Omake: Alternate beginning, a touch too sophisticated for Chouji's thought processes.

_Naoko Aizawa_

Trader. Used to stop by the house occasionally to deliver specialist shinobi goods. Quick with a joke, used to slip him sweets when his parents weren't looking. Proud father of two.

Gone.

_Merumi Suzagawa_

Waitress at the Manako Barbeque House. Long, brown hair, aristocratic features and striking sky-blue eyes. Always kind, a beautiful, sincere kindness that was impossible to fake. He'd thought more than once about asking her out, but hadn't been able to work up the courage. Dreamed of being a dancer.

Gone.

_Tanigawa Izumo_

Family friend. Stopped by constantly for tea. A proud woman overflowing with ideas and imagination. Never stopped talking. Used to call him 'Chouba Douba' in front of his friends, purely for the joy of seeing his cheeks turn red.

Gone.

_Chouza Akimi..._

Oh god.

Chouji squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the faces of the dead from his vision.

When he opened them again, the faces were gone. The sky had returned to its natural state, a clear, blue canvas dotted with puffy white clouds.

They were just clouds. Big, puffy masses of vapour, created by the evaporation of water. Nothing else.

Back before... everything, cloud watching had used to relax him. Not anymore. Their faces were everywhere now; following him, whispering to him, pleading for his help. The clouds were just the easiest thing to imprint on.

xXx

**Ooph, it's been a busy few weeks. Final essays, plays, the whole shebang. Still, here you are.**

**Poor old Chouji's not the most intelligent or intuitive guy, so I've scaled his deductive abilities back a bit.**

**I'll be the first to admit that my knowledge of Shinto ritual is fairly paltry. A shimenawa is a length of rice stray rope decorated with shide (small pieces of zigzagged paper), by the way.**

**A note about Temari. I think that, to an admittedly lesser degree, she suffers the same effect as Zabuza. Case in point, page 11-12 of chapter 59 of the manga. It takes an impressive degree of apathy and cruelty to pull that smile off.**

**But, just to clarify, I don't think she's a 'bad' person. Nor, however, do I think she's 'good'. She's not a notch on the alignment spectrum, she's a human, a unique individual with her own personal flaws and virtues. And I'm not saying that she doesn't have her reasons. Also, she probably mellows slightly by the time the time-skip rolls around. Still.**

**While I'm here, I might as well define projecting. Projecting is when you shove your own psychological problems or insecurities onto someone else, like an angry husband accusing his wife of never listening when he, in fact, is the one that doesn't listen. It's a surprisingly common psychological defense mechanism; you misattribute (both verbally and mentally) your own feelings onto someone else. People who project are typically very difficult to deal with because in their mind it's never their fault, and there is nothing that will prove otherwise. It can be found in a quite a few people with borderline personality disorder.**

**It's also a very modern concept, as are avoidance and propaganda, but if computers, trains and satellites can exist, then so can contemporary psychoanalytical lingo!**

**Oh yes, in case you were wondering, Shikamaru wasn't the one who was projecting. He just said that to diffuse the conversation.**

**Next time: Kakashi gets taken by Hiruko, forcing Naruto and the remainder of the Konoha Twelve to go chase him down... except not. You don't actually think I'm going to just parrot the movie plots, do you? Have a little faith. As much as I enjoy moaning about filler, a lot of the filler and movie elements are actually pretty damn cool. It's a mixed bag, but there are one or two things that are pretty much awesome incarnate. That said, I also know that people typically don't really care about filler characters that much, so they are in no way going to be the focus of this story.**

**It looks like most people preferred the new first chapter, so I'll stick with that one for now.**

**Now then, question time. Is there anything that you guys want to see more of? More action? More psychoanalytical personality deconstruction? More clashes of ideology? More of a certain character? Alternately, is there anything you want to see less of? I can't promise to shift focus completely; the plot has to come first, but if there's an overwhelming amount of demand for a certain character, then I'll take that into account when I plan out the chapters and consider whose perspective the scenes are viewed from.**

**Response time!**

** So you want to be an Author, No, that's going to be the only one. I'm aware of the way that people on this site typically feel about drawn-out flashbacks (check out the review backlash for Naruto: Wind Monk Banishment, for one), which is why I posted all three within a week. This one was important because it also included a whole lot of stuff that's going to come into play later in the story. But no, no more. That little flashback with Hiruko is probably going to be about as big as they'll get.**

**SuspiciouslySinisterSis****, stick with this story for a while, we'll see where we end up.**

** imsabbel, the scene "felt a bit like shitting on a wedding cake"? Not a critique I've come across before, but I guess I'll try and address it as best I can. Normally, absolutely, shock would last longer, but I figure that human bodies in the world of Naruto work differently. After all, people get their arms ripped off, and they're still able to function like nothing happened. Lee can accomplish impossible feats of athleticism without any chakra whatsoever. Timeskip-era Sakura even got punched into a tree hard enough to break it, and she was still fine. Considering Naruto's Uzumaki healing thing, I thought that giving him forty minutes to recover from being in shock might even have been a little conservative. Still, thanks for the critique, it keeps me on my toes.**

**I just realized why the Opening Arc is taking so long; I'm trying to set up pretty much every character at once. Still, I'm pretty close to the end; there are probably another 3-4 chapters to go. Once we get into the next arc, it's going to be focused on a much smaller set of characters.**

**Anyway, I hope I'm doing this right. I want this to be a story about the characters, rather than a story about how the characters behave in relation to Naruto.**

**Thanks to my beta, ElementKitsune**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter I: For Iwagakure!**

**Read and Review!**


	21. Chapter Twenty-One: Heroes and Villains

**8/6/2013 - 137 Reviews, 136 Favorites, 164 Followers**

Chapter Twenty-One: Heroes and Villains

xXx

_(Amegakure)_

Nagato leaned back into his throne and sighed.

God, he hated this thing. Not just for the years of distasteful memories, but because sitting on it was extremely unpleasant. The metal grooves dug into his back, sending jolts of pain through his nerves every time he moved. The holsters that his hands were in buzzed constantly with chakra, sending unpleasant vibrations up his spine. And to cap it off, the tower was still being rebuilt, so he was constantly buffeted by freezing air.

How the hell had he sat in this thing for a decade? He really had been a fool, so obsessed with the notion of pain that he'd built himself the most uncomfortable chair imaginable. Maybe later he'd go get a cushion or something.

He wondered how Naruto and Jiraiya would react to seeing him. He wished that he could go to Konoha in person, but the various problems that were plaguing his village were making that something of an impossibility. Not only did he have to spend half his time overruling death sentences that his overzealous judicial system was tossing out left, right and center, he also had to deal with the flood of refugees that were streaming in from the north. His subjects hadn't quite aligned themselves to his new administrative guidelines yet, and seeing as how (these days) he was only one man, he had to spend most of his time preventing people committing atrocities in his name. He hadn't spent a great deal of time focusing on Amegakure in his time as Akatsuki's coordinator, and the result had been a semi-theocratic fascist totalitarian state with a tyrannical statute of laws which advocated the death penalty for most crimes. He'd had to step in personally to prevent one of his jonin from ordering an attack on a caravan of refugees.

Considering Amegakure's previous foreign policy, he'd been quite surprised at the number of refugees who streamed into his country on a daily basis. And yet they came, pitiful, ragged masses who often had only the clothes on their back to their name. Nagato had given a public speech ordering his people to treat the refugees with compassion, and a hand-picked squad of ninja were in the process of setting up a number of camps to deal with them. Nagato could tell that many of his subjects didn't like that- he had only himself and his xenophobic policies to blame for that- but they dutifully obeyed his orders nevertheless. Being considered a god had its perks, even if he was actively trying to dissuade that notion.

The international situation wasn't looking good. The factions that remained were still trying to get their bearings, but Nagato could tell that something big was on the horizon. Already, militia groups were springing up all over the continent. Of the Five Great Shinobi Countries, only the Land of Wind had remained completely unaffected. Suna had managed to avoid whatever had happened that night, and its shinobi forces had remained intact. All of the other four had been, in one way or another, altered.

The Land of Lightning had probably been the hardest hit. It was geographically unaffected, but everything within the limits of a gigantic area of territory had just died. The people, the animals, even the plants; the country had been bisected by a huge dead zone that covered over a hundred kilometers. Witnesses had reported seeing a titanic void of black energy explode across the landscape, then disappear without a trace. Anything that entered the zone even now died within minutes, even microscopic organisms, so the edges were lined with perfectly preserved bodies. The area affected seemed to have included Kumo and its capital, Suki, but had stopped just short of the Northern Lightning Temple.

Konoha had been petrified, taking most of the Leaf shinobi with it. The country's capital, Hyodo, had survived. The surrounding countries were already starting to show signs of Fire Country-directed aggression, with Takigakure behaving especially hostile.

Iwagakure had... exploded. His agents had reported seeing a bright flash of red light, followed seconds later by a giant explosion. No trace of the village remained, save a few charred buildings that had been right on the edges. Like Fire Country, Earth's capital had survived.

The Land of Water had simply gone dark. There had been absolutely no communication from anyone on the main island. From what he'd heard, no one else had either. He'd received a routine report from one of his men on a small atoll from the north, but that was it. He'd sent the agent off to go investigate the main peninsula, but he hadn't got word back as of yet.

All in all, the continent seemed to be shaping up for another decade of bitter conflict. Now he was left with a series of unpleasant decisions to make. What was the Land of Rain's role to be in the upcoming conflict? Should he use the opportunity to expand Ame's territory (after all, Earth Country was now without a Kage), or should he act defensively? Nagato didn't want to engage his people in another war, but if he let things go as they were then another country might rise to the top, and later use the resulting power to take his nation for their own.

And then, of course, there was Tobi to consider. Akatsuki might have hit a setback, but they definitely weren't out for the count. Nagato had no doubt that the masked man would find a replacement for the Statue of the Outer Path, and the chaos that the world was about to be plunged into would be the perfect cover to take the bijuu. And even on their own, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Itac...

No. Not Itachi. Because Itachi, as it turned out, had been an undercover agent for Konoha the whole time. Nagato had always considered it a bit strange that Itachi could be a sadistic mass murderer, but he'd never suspected anything like this. Before, being deceived to such an extent would have enraged him, but now he just felt mildly amused. By all accounts, Itachi was currently going around breaking into graveyards and fortified clan complexes, and destroying bodies so that no one else could get their hands on them. According to Konan, he was replacing them with the useless bodies of civilians. Dark as it was, Nagato couldn't help but chuckle at that one.

God, it felt good to laugh! He'd had to play the emotionless, humorless villain for so long, it was liberating to be able to relax for once, even if just for a minute. He felt so free! Despite being in the world's most uncomfortable chair, anyway.

Wait.

Itachi...

Suddenly, Nagato had a thought. Tobi's Akatsuki currently consisted of himself, Deidara, Kisame, Hidan and presumably Sasori and Zetsu, though neither had been present at their confrontation. With the exception of Zetsu and possibly Hidan, each of them were powerful enough to take on a small army, all by themselves.

But it wouldn't be enough. And Tobi knew it, too.

From what he'd seen of his abilities in the future, Naruto Uzumaki alone would be able to handle at least two of them at once. Itachi was probably more powerful than any of them save Tobi, and he himself had already handled their substitutes without much difficulty. Add in Jiraiya, Konan and Kakuzu to the mix, and if it came down to a straight confrontation then Tobi would lose. Badly.

Although... According to the report he'd received from Konan, the Kyuubi was no longer sealed within Naruto. Still, he had no doubt that the boy would still be a force to be reckoned with.

As far as he could see, Tobi had two options. One, he could resurrect himself an army with Edo Tensei. If he did that, then there wouldn't be much he could do.

If he decided to take the other path, though...

Nagato's thoughts were interrupted by the familiar buzz of Konan making mental contact. Ignoring the irritation, Nagato settled back into his chair and closed his eyes.

An instant later, he opened them to find himself looking at the inside of a white tent. Konan, Naruto Uzumaki and Shikamaru Nara sat cross-legged on the floor with their eyes closed, each wearing one of the Akatsuki's rings. Naruto had Itachi's red ring, while Shikamaru was wearing Kakuzu's dark green one.

"Contact." Nagato announced.

The three shinobi opened their eyes. Shikamaru looked up at him. "Convenient. Do we have to remain in these positions?"

"Just don't leave the tent or take of your ring." Nagato turned to Naruto, taking a deep breath. "It's nice to finally meet you under pleasant circumstances, Naruto."

Naruto got to his feet, giving him a grin. "It is indeed."

"I'm glad you survived the trip. I'd shake your hand, but..." Nagato raised a translucent arm.

Naruto stared blankly at him for a second, then gave a chuckle. "Jokes too? You really have changed, Nagato."

Nagato smiled. "I have you to thank for that."

"Heyheyhey," Naruto raised his hands, "give yourself a little credit! I just gave you a little push! Besides, I never got to thank you for all that you did!"

"For what... What do you mean?" Nagato asked. "I attacked your village."

"Yes, but you also resurrected everyone at the cost of your own life! If you hadn't, Konoha would have..." Naruto stopped mid-sentence, a look of recollection and pain crossing his face. The boy put a hand on his forehead. "Um... anyway, uh, thanks.

Nagato felt pangs of sympathy stir within him. Naruto had got so caught up in the conversation that he'd forgotten about Konoha's destruction for a second.

The Rinnegan-bearer looked around. "So, where's Jiraiya?"

Shikamaru groaned. "He's out trying to calm down the civilians. The Kazekage offered us asylum in Suna, and a number of people did not appreciate the offer."

"Tensions appear to still be running high from the Oto-Suna invasion." Konan added.

The Kazekage was still honoring the Konoha-Suna alliance? Nagato was almost surprised that Suna hadn't used the opportunity to crush the Leaf into the dirt and take Fire Country for their own. There was enough bad blood between the two to justify such an act ten times over. Still, such a move did have its merits. By annexing Konoha's remnants, Suna could gain access to a number of very powerful shinobi.

Although... perhaps he was being a touch cynical. By all accounts, the Kazekage held Naruto Uzumaki in the highest regard. If, as he suspected, Gaara had joined them in the past, then it was possible that the Kazekage was acting with honorable intentions.

"Does it look like the Leaf will accept his offer?" he asked.

Naruto rubbed his head. "Probably not. Jiraiya's trying to convince them, but Asuma seems adamant about staying. Like, really adamant. Plus, somebody set Pakura off again, and she's been busy pouring lantern fluid on the situation."

Just how many people had been brought back with them? Naruto, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Asuma, most of Akatsuki, a pair of missing-nin from Kiri, a rogue Kaguya who had left destroyed bases and fields of bone all the way across the Land of Rice and now three people from Suna. It was getting hard to keep track of them all.

"And if you can't convince them to go?" Nagato asked.

Naruto flopped down into one of the tent chairs. "I... don't know. On one hand, I don't want to abandon anyone. Konoha is fractured enough as it is. On the other hand, Tobi is eventually going to go for Gaara. Akatsuki needs to be stopped, and now that they don't have a reason to come for me anymore, I'm going to have to take the fight to them."

Konan pointed to Naruto. "Stay on that point for a moment. Does Tobi actually know that you don't have the Kyuubi?"

Naruto shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Then unless you inform them somehow, they will continue to seek you out." she said.

"Oh. Well, that makes things easier then." Naruto said, giving a huge grin. "We won't tell them."

Shikamaru's eyes widened. "You'd willingly have those monsters chase you?"

"Yep!" Naruto said, with an inappropriate degree of cheer. Then his gaze turned serious. "As I said, Akatsuki needs to be stopped. If they're actively seeking me out, then it'll be easier."

The blonde gave a sigh. "That does mean we'll have to go to Suna, though. I can't risk putting the village in danger by staying. And Akatsuki will have to come there to get Gaara anyway, so I'm not putting the Sand guys in any more danger than they'd already be in."

To willingly fling himself into danger for the benefit of others... It was so much like Yahiko that it hurt. He'd picked the right person to place his faith in.

Shikamaru had gone silent. He'd turned his eyes to the floor, and he was rubbing at a small cut between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand.

Naruto's brow furrowed. "Shikamaru?"

"Um... ngh." Shikamaru's eyes darted from left to right, and the rubbing intensified. "I'm, uh, not coming, Naruto."

"What?" Naruto said.

Shikamaru swallowed, still refusing to meet Naruto's gaze. "I... I... can't leave Asuma, Naruto. Not again. Not after what happened last time."

Naruto shook his head, face alight with concern. "Shikamaru, we've gone over this! I need you with me. You can't stay here, it's too dangerous."

"I can't... Look, can we talk about it later?" Shikamaru finally looked up. "We should sort this out first."

Naruto gave a reluctant nod. "Fine. Okay, uh, what else do we need to discuss?"

"We need to talk about Kakuzu." Konan said.

"Oh yeah, him!" Naruto grinned. "So, he's one of the good guys now?"

Shikamaru's jaw tightened. Nagato looked at him. "You have something to say?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "No."

Nagato looked to Konan. "Is the silencing jutsu in place?"

She nodded.

"Then speak." Nagato commanded, turning back to Shikamaru. "Believe me, I have no misconceptions as to Kakuzu's sense of morality."

Shikamaru took a deep breath. "I think we should kill him."

With that simple statement, the atmosphere of the tent became much, much heavier.

"What?" Naruto shouted, leaping to his feet.

Nagato took a deep, heavy sigh. Once again, the world conspired to show him just how dark and cruel it could be. Here was a fourteen year-old, a boy barely even a teenager, advocating the cold-blooded murder of a man who had saved his life. And the worst part was, he could be right. Nagato wasn't willing to simply dismiss his suggestion out of hand, anyway. The world had just become a much more terrible place, and not all victories could be achieved through honorable means.

"And why do you think that?" he asked softly. "Why does Kakuzu need to die?"

"Why are we even discussing this?" Naruto yelled. "Nagato, you can't!"

Shikamaru gazed up at him with intense, glacial eyes. "It's not because he was responsible for the death of my sensei, if that's what you're thinking. From what I've seen, Kakuzu has no dependable ideology, no reason to support us. He might not join Tobi again; he has as much to loose from the Eye of the Moon Plan as any of us. But Akatsuki isn't the only threat out there, and I have no doubt that he would turn on us in an instant if he received a better offer."

That was a surprisingly logical argument. It was also much, much more cynical than he had expected from someone like Shikamaru Nara. Nagato had met him briefly, in the future. He'd had the hardness of a shinobi, certainly. But this coldness? That was new.

He was pretty sure the money that they were paying Kakuzu would keep him loyal, but he found that he wanted to hear Shikamaru's arguments nevertheless. He had a strange desire, almost a morbid curiosity, to see how far Shikamaru would go.

"And you think the risks outweigh the benefits of keeping him around?" he asked, moving his form closer to Shikamaru. Konan looked at him in confusion.

"Kakuzu is a time bomb and a monster." Shikamaru declared, raising his chin. "He survives by ripping the still-beating hearts out of people's chests. Mark my words, he _will _turn on us. The only question is when. We need to strike first, otherwise, we'll wake up one morning to find that everyone with a bounty has been murdered in their sleep. I am not going to sacrifice any of my friends to that killer."

Nagato pushed it further. "And how would you suggest we go about killing him?"

Shikamaru rubbed his chin. "Well, there are several rare venoms which I believe..."

"Stop."

Naruto's single word cut through the air like a knife. The blonde raised himself up.

"Don't. You. Dare." Naruto's voice was like liquid fire, his gaze fury incarnate. "Don't you _dare _talk about murdering a man in cold blood in my presence. This is not us. This is _not _how we do things."

Shikamaru stepped in front of him. "Naruto, this is the only way. Zabuza..."

"Don't you get it?" Naruto hissed, grabbing Shikamaru's arms and digging his fingers into the flesh so hard that it was actually drawing blood. "This is how it starts. 'The only way'. 'The greater good'. No one becomes a villain in a day, Shikamaru. You compromise your morality once, just slightly, and then you do it again. And again. And again. And again. How do you think Danzo ended up the way he was? Tiny concessions, made one after the other and building up until you become the very evil you're trying to fight!"

Naruto shoved Shikamaru off and swung around to face him. The Nara fell to the ground.

"And you." Naruto growled, placing a damning emphasis on the second word. "You claim to place your faith in me, yet you would commit such an act? Surely you, of all people, know where such a path leads! I placed my faith in you too, Nagato! We cannot be the ones who start the cycle of hatred anew!"

Nagato closed his eyes for a long moment, then gave Naruto a rueful smile. "I know, Naruto. Believe me, I know. I have no intention of going through with it."

The tension drained from the room like air from a popped balloon.

Naruto froze. "You don't? Then why..."

Nagato didn't have an answer for that. It was hard to put his motivation into words. Some bizarre desire to see how the time reset had affected Shikamaru? To see whether the kindness that Konoha was famous for had survived the tragedy? He wasn't sure himself.

Konan broke the silence. "We haven't decided what we're going to do about Kakuzu. Or me, for that matter."

Naruto turned away and began helping Shikamaru to his feet.

"Well, we're paying Kakuzu enough to finance a small town, so he's not going to be switching sides anytime soon." Nagato said. "You should stay with Naruto, but I fear that sending Kakuzu to Suna would be a bad idea. He doesn't appreciate being contained, and I'd rather not make him despise me if I can help it."

"I have a request, then." Naruto said. "Keep him here."

Shikamaru went ghost-white and started making coughing noises.

"I don't think your friend would appreciate that." Konan commented.

Naruto waved a hand dismissively. "He'll get over it. Think about it, this way everybody wins! Suna doesn't have to deal with him, Konoha gets a terrifying S-Rank ninja to scare off anyone thinking of causing trouble and seeing as Akatsuki isn't going to come here once I'm gone, Kakuzu gets to sit around and be paid to do nothing all day! It's the perfect solution!"

"You think the people of Konoha will be alright with this?" Nagato queried.

Naruto shrugged. "Honestly, they seem more pissed off with the people from Suna than they do with Kakuzu. He hasn't done anything notable to Konoha since the reign of the Shodaime, and most of them don't even know who he is. If you feel that we can't trust him, then fine, we'll dismiss him and let events take their course. I still think we should keep him around, though. Unlike Konan, he actually seems willing to take off his cloak and blend in, too."

Nagato turned to look at Konan. She shrugged. "I'm not taking if off."

Konan seemed to consider the cloaks to be a relic from Yahiko. Honestly, he couldn't fault her for it.

"Very well, it is decided." Nagato said, with an air of finality. "Kakuzu stays here, Konan goes to Suna. Any objections?"

Konan shrugged. "I don't mind."

"No, sounds good." Naruto looked out the flap of the tent, a look of mild concern flashing across his face. "It looks like things are getting a little rowdy out there. I should probably go. Is there anything else we need to talk about?"

Nagato gave his head a slight shake. "No, I think that about covers it. I'll contact you through Konan if we need to discuss anything else. I'm glad that you managed to overcome your hatred, Naruto."

He looked at Shikamaru. "Be sure to give Kakuzu his ring back."

Shikamaru finally recovered from his coughing fit and glared up at him. "I have not agreed..."

Nagato terminated the connection. There was a flash of light, and he was instantly transported back to his freezing tower. The man drew his cloak around himself and raised himself out of his throne. There were many things that required his attention, and little time to do them.

If Tobi decided to raise an army through Edo Tensei, there was nothing to be done. Nagato doubted that he would do so, though, at least not yet. From what he'd seen, ninja resurrected through Edo Tensei had to be micromanaged constantly to prevent them from straying from their objectives.

No, if Tobi wanted his new force to be effective, then he would have to recruit people who were still alive. And unlike the dead, the living could be subverted. Itachi had operated as a double agent within Akatsuki's ranks for years.

When the organization had been assembled originally, there had been many potential recruits who, for one reason or another, hadn't made the cut. Some had been too weak, others ideologically incompatible and a few had simply been utterly insane and uncontrollable. With his power diminished to the level that it was now, though, Tobi would have no choice but to try and recruit some of the ninja who they had rejected last time around.

If he could get to some of those people before Tobi did...

Nagato pulled a scroll out from his cloak and began listing down the names of all the people who Tobi might approach.

It was a long shot, but if he could get a spy within Akatsuki's ranks... The potential benefits were incalculable.

xXx

_(Konoha camp - Central square)_

"... was born here, and I'll die here!"

"...Suna wants to take..."

"...see the bigger picture..."

"...won't be worth the clothes on your..."

"...can you be so cynical..."

A chaotic maelstrom of voices assaulted Asuma's ears.

"...can you be so naive..."

"...just need to calm down..."

The square, formerly quiet, had exploded into chaos.

"...a goddamn moron..."

Jiraiya had been speaking.

"...stupid bitch..."

Now everyone was shouting.

"...my son in danger..."

Everyone wanted to make themselves heard.

"...Suna invaded us..."

People were starting to get violent.

"... times have changed..."

This needed to stop.

"...we're all damned..."

Now.

Asuma channelled chakra through his throat, using a simple jutsu to amplify his voice. **"All of you, shut up!"**

The torch-lit square, which was jam-packed with civilians and shinobi alike, went silent. Everyone, except one loud man who just had to finish his sentence.

"Look, maybe the whole Suna thing ain't that bad. I mean, with Konoha bein' dead and all."

All eyes snapped to the speaker.

His companion, a burly man with red hair and a squint, turned to him with a look of absolute fury on his face. "What did you just say? What the _fuck _did you just say?"

The other man turned to him, somewhat sheepish under all the attention. "Well... it is."

The red-haired man grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "You traitorous little..."

Asuma moved forward and shoved the two apart. "That's enough! Jiraiya of the Sannin is speaking, and you _will _give him the respect he is due."

That seemed to have the effect that he wanted. The red-haired man nodded sullenly, while the other one seemed all too happy to have the attention taken away from him.

The civilians of Konoha had not reacted kindly to Suna's offer. As one of the most powerful villages on the continent, the people of Konoha had always had a certain sense of national pride, and a slightly unpleasant one at that. While it rarely fell into the category of explicit racism, there had always been an underlying assumption that Konoha was morally superior to the other villages. With that assumption came a tendency to view people from other villages as somehow inferior, the way someone might view an uncivilized savage.

Generally, shinobi who received a little real-world experience were able to recognize this belief as the inaccurate propaganda that it was, but for many civilians, (especially those who never left the village) this belief stuck. It had only been made worse by Suna's failed invasion, too. As a result, many of Konoha's civilians had interpreted Suna's offer as an insult, or a thinly-veiled attempt to get them to leave Konoha and then unleash the full force of Suna's military upon them.

As a result, the camp had been divided into two halves; those who wanted to go, and those who wanted to stay. Jiraiya had become the unofficial leader of the former, himself, the latter. And, as much as he wanted to keep things civil, Jiraiya was proving a damn fine opponent.

Asuma turned to look at Jiraiya, who was standing on a wooden block. "Continue."

"Thank you." Jiraiya nodded to him, then turned to address the crowd. "People of Konoha, I don't want to leave this village any more than you do. The Land of Fire is the greatest country in the world, and my heart weeps to leave it."

The Sannin raised a hand to the sky. "But more important than the buildings of Konoha are the people; our wives, our husbands, our children! And if keeping the people I love safe means temporarily leaving this village, then that is a price I will pay gladly!"

Despite himself, Asuma was impressed. The formal language Jiraiya was using now was a far cry from the Sannin's usual vernacular. But he'd made an error in trying to appeal to his audience's sense of nationalism, because he'd given Asuma an opening. And Jiraiya wasn't the only one who could use high-brow, persuasive language.

"I understand and respect your opinion, Jiraiya of the Sannin," Asuma proclaimed, moving to the front of the crowd, "but I cannot bring myself to agree with it. You say that you do not wish to leave this village? Then stay! I do not believe, as you do, that Konoha is not up to the challenge of facing its enemies. I do not believe, as you do, that this tragedy has made us weak. We may be small in number, but I would take one Konoha ninja over a thousand foreigners! And should we be threatened, we will not run like cowards into the night! We will stand and fight, and the Leaf will rise triumphant!

Asuma carefully inserted a small warble into is voice, as if he was overcome by emotion. "We are not broken by this tragedy, no, our spirit burns stronger than ever! The Will of Fire binds our flesh, our blood, our very souls to this place! To leave would be an insult to everything that my father, the Sandaime, fought for! Even if I must stand alone, I will stay and fight!"

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed just a fraction, and Asuma could see the hint of betrayal in them. It was justified, too.

Was he corrupting the idealistic rhetoric of Konoha, using sacred ideals as a tool to manipulate his audience? Absolutely.

Did he feel guilty about it? Right now he felt like the lowest scum of the Earth.

Was that going to be enough to stop him? No.

If the village itself was abandoned, that that would almost certainly be the end of Konoha as an independent entity. Asuma wasn't motivated by some belief that the Kazekage would have them all killed or anything, Gaara was too good a man for that. Most likely, they would be incorporated into Suna's hierarchy, or become a subservient tributary at best. But the Leaf as it was now? That would be the end. And that was unacceptable. His father had died protecting Konoha. To abandon it would be more than an insult to his memory, it would be a complete and utter failure on his behalf. Hiruzen had left Konoha to him, and it was his responsibility to make sure it endured.

So he would distort the facts. He would manipulate the citizens of Konoha through their sense of nationalism. He would imply that Jiraiya, a man who he respected to the highest degree, considered the ninja of Konoha to be cowards. He would do whatever it took to convince as many civilians to stay as possible, no matter how low the depths that he had to sink to.

A voice came out of the crowd. "Wooooooo! Yeah, those foreigners suck! You should all stay here!"

Oh yes, he'd picked up an incidental ally on the way. Pakura had somehow taken the idea of Suna offering to accept Konoha refugees as a personal insult, and seemed to be making it her mission to discourage as many people as possible. He'd considered asking her to leave, but as much as he hated to admit it, she was actually being kind of useful.

Jiraiya shot Pakura a glare, then launched a response. "The Will of Fire does not lie within the buildings of Konoha! It lies within its people! To stay in Konoha is a death sentence! Our ninja are powerful, true, but we are also outnumbered a hundred to one! Those who are jealous of Konoha's greatness will seek revenge, and not even the greatest ninja in the world can stand against those odds. To depart from this place would not be the end of Konoha, nor would it be a betrayal. The Kazekage will not force us to give up the Leaf, and we would not obey him even if he commanded it! Think of your loved ones, people of Konoha! Think of your children! Their lives are in your hands!"

The crowd had gone silent, and Asuma could tell that many of them were considering Jiraiya's words. The Sannin was doing the same thing he was, referring to Konoha ninja as the 'greatest ninja in the world' in an attempt to show his patriotism. But he had the advantageous position. Jiraiya had to convince them to abandon their home, leave everything many of them had ever known and willingly place themselves under the thumb of a country that many of them scorned and hated. All he had to do was convince them to stay.

"Booooooo! Get off the stage! We want Asuma!"

Pakura was helping too.

Even without the Sand jonin's irreverence and ridicule, though, Suna was going to be the major sticking point of the argument. When it came to manipulating the masses, there really was no better tool than their sense of patriotism and national pride. Appeal to someone's sense of nationalism, suggest that their values, ideals and way of life were being threatened, and anyone outside the norm became an enemy, a fiend who was trying to destroy everything they stood for. It was a loathsome tool to use, under any circumstances, but he was going to have to make Suna that fiend.

They had to stay. No matter what happened, they had to stay.

Asuma took a moment to steel himself. "So you want us to leave? To place ourselves at the mercy of Suna? Have you forgotten, Sannin, the invasion which occurred not two years ago? Mark my words, if we leave this village, then that will destroy Konoha just as surely as any army could! The proud traditions of Konoha, our heritage, our very way of life, they die the moment we set foot in Suna! The people of Wind Country are not like us, they do not share our beliefs, nor our values. If we go to Suna, if we give up all that our ancestors have fought for and submit to the Kazekage, then we will never be allowed to leave! I will not allow the Leaf to be buried beneath the Sand! I will stand and fight, and I will carry the traditions of the Sandaime with me!"

Jiraiya cut in. "The Kazekage is a good man! The people of Suna are not some..."

"You seem awfully eager to place us beneath the thumb of the Kazekage, Jiraiya." Asuma interjected smoothly. "Surely you remember the horrors of the September War? All those villages burnt, all those children slaughtered. And then came the Invasion, not two years ago! The people of Suna are not what, Jiraiya? Because from where I'm standing, the people of Suna are the sort of monsters who would invade our country, burn down our homes and murder civilians for fun! And you want us to, what, move to their village? To enter the very mouth of the beast, willingly offer up our children for sacrifice? To do so would bring us nothing but slavery and death!"

Asuma could hardly believe the diatribe of hate that was spewing from his mouth. He, Asuma Sarutobi, was deliberately inciting racism and xenophobia. For a second, Asuma wondered what Kurenai would have thought about it, and the thought sent him even deeper into self-loathing. But it had to be done. It wasn't nice, it wasn't pretty, it contravened his ideals, but it was necessary. That was the way the world worked.

Pakura actually started applauding "Yeah! Somebody give that man a medal! I knew you had it in you, Plant Man! Suna people are different to you! They're all vicious thugs who want to eat your children!"

Konoha had to survive. And by the look of it, his words were working. The majority of the audience were nodding, entranced by his every disgusting word. A few, though, were staring at him in horror.

Pakura was grinning. "Suna wants to destroy you way of life! We..."

Chouji stepped out of the crowd, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Pakura. Please, stop."

"What the hell do..." Pakura whirled around, arm raised to strike. Then a look of realization crossed her face, and her eyes narrowed. "You."

Chouji gave her a tentative smile. "Come with me. I want to show you something."

"I... Guh..." Pakura made a groaning noise of frustration, raising her hands in front of her face and spending a couple of seconds making a choking motion with her hands. Then they dropped by her sides, and a look of defeat crossed her face. "Fine. This better be good, kid."

Chouji turned to look at him, and for just an instant his eyes held such anguished, wounded distress that Asuma's heart nearly broke. Then it was gone, and Chouji started leading Pakura away. "You're going to need a ryo coin. I can give you one, if you don't have one on you."

Asuma turned back to Jiraiya only to see that he was climbing off the block. "Jiraiya, where are you going?"

The Sannin turned to face him, and Asuma almost recoiled at the naked disgust on his face. When he spoke, his voice was glacial with cold fury. "We are done here, Asuma Sarutobi."

The Sannin turned to the crowd. "We leave in two days. If this snake's speech has you convinced, then feel free to stay here. You deserve each other."

Jiraiya turned away and strode off into the darkness. Asuma considered calling out after him, but then thought better of it. After all, the Sannin was right.

Whispers began to spring up in the crowd. Asuma caught a couple of words. 'Stupid'. 'Naive'. 'Fool'.

'Traitor'.

The son of the Third Hokage bit the inside of his lip. The tangy, metallic taste of his own blood spread across his tongue.

He would start reversing the damage he had wrought as soon as Jiraiya left. For now, though, he had to stand firm. No matter how much he despised what he was doing, he had to stand firm.

The future of Konoha depended on it.

xXx

_(?)_

_Doof-doof._

Mmngh.

Where... where was he?

It felt... cold.

_Doof-doof._

He'd been... talking to Zetsu.

No.

Wait.

He'd been going to the Haruna Hideout.

And suddenly... there had been nothing.

_Doof-doof._

With great difficulty, Tobi slowly lifted one of his eyelids.

It was dark.

_Doof-doof._

He was face-down somewhere. All he could see was black and grey.

His thoughts came slowly, the gears in his mind protesting every shift. He'd been on his way to go talk to Kushimaru. It had all gone dark. He'd been in the Kamui dimensi...

He was in Kamui's dimension.

Tobi braced his hands on the ground and pushed himself up, flipping himself into a sitting position. An dreary landscape of dimly-lit grey blocks stretched out around him, expanding as far as he could see. He was on one of the higher blocks, giving him an expanded view of the bleak, monochrome landscape. The unpleasantly chilled atmosphere coalesced around him, sending goosebumps down his spine.

This was Kamui's dimension, alright. That didn't explain what he'd...

When was the last time he'd slept?

_Doof-doof._

He'd got back about a week ago... fought Nagato... enlisted Kisame, Deidara and Hidan... visited Kiri... infiltrated Amegakure... recruited Hanzo... formed a contract with Orochimaru... fought Konan and Kakuzu...

He hadn't. At all. He'd ignored all the signals his body had been sending him, pushed them to the back of his mind.

He must have had collapsed out of sheer exhaustion.

His thoughts came faster now, his mind starting to clear away the cobwebs. He'd been stupid, so stupid. Who knew how long he could have been lying here, unconscious. Anything could have happened in that time! He needed to...

_Doof-doof._

And what the hell was that damn...

...Heartbeat.

He had a heartbeat.

He had a _heartbeat?_

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Tobi pulled down the collar of his cloak, to reveal pale, white flesh underneath.

Not plant-matter. Flesh.

With feverish haste, Tobi yanked the cloak down further and freed his right arm and shoulder from the cloth. About halfway down his forearm, the ghostly-white Zetsu matter transitioned into smooth, unblemished skin, skin that continued across his whole chest.

Tobi closed his eyes, running a chakra-covered hand down his arm and chest. A second later they flashed open again.

There was a foreign agent in his system, presumably chakra left over from the time transition, that was slowly dissipating even as it worked. And what it was doing was incredible.

His body was _absorbing _the plant matter, somehow transmorphing it into flesh, blood and bone. The Mokuton remained, but the actual material itself was becoming part of his body. What had formerly been Zetsu-matter had become flesh! Not only that, but the scar tissue from the accident so many years ago had disappeared as well! Even his damaged organs had regenerated!

For the first time in over a decade, his body was completely whole!

And he had a heart again.

_He had a heart again!_

He had...

Suddenly, cold realization struck, ruthlessly crushing the warm feeling that had been building up inside him.

The alterations were a liability. Veins meant he could bleed. Organs meant he could be damaged. Flesh meant he could be cut. Together, they made him weaker.

He... should stop it. Maybe, he should... should even see if Zetsu could put things back the way they were before. Get Zetsu to... get rid of his heart.

He couldn't afford any weaknesses. Especially not now. It had to be done.

But... he should deal with Kushimaru first. Reassembling Ketsueki Yuuyake had to be top priority. He could have his body re-modifed later.

There were many other urgent matters that required his attention. It could wait.

xXx

_(Haruna Hideout)_

He is bored.

He is bored, because his new 'allies' refuse to let him leave the hideout. And the hideout is boring.

For a second, he imagines strangling the blonde one with his own ponytail. The thought makes him laugh.

The blonde one looks at him suspiciously. "What?"

He shrugs, because he has to. "Nothing."

The blonde one maintains his gaze for a second, then looks away. It is infuriating. He wishes to tear the blonde's throat out, to see what strange and magnificent patterns his blood makes on the ground. But he cannot.

He needs these people to resurrect Ameyuri. The beast within screams and rages and tears at his mind _(needwanthaveAmeyuri)_, and it will not be satisfied until it is reunited with its twin.

There is a Zetsu by the door. He likes Zetsu. Zetsu bleed white. Maybe he could...

**No. **Zetsu are agents of **Lord Madara**. Zetsu are **off-limits.**

He growls quietly to himself. Maybe he can find some more squirrels?

Suddenly, there is a masked man there. Apparently, it's a big deal.

The masked man walks over to him, and offers him a proposition. He will serve the masked man, and the masked man will resurrect Ameyuri.

He agrees, and asks how the man will resurrect Ameyuri.

The man begins to explain. The jutsu is called Edo Tensei. He will sacrifice the Zetsu. Ameyuri have complete control of her body _LIE._

"You're lying."

The masked man stares at him. "What do you mean?"

"When you said that she will have complete control over her body. You're lying." he says.

The masked man explains that she is not automatically given free will, and that the amount of control she has depends on the tag that she is given and he will draw a tag right now.

He examines the tag. It seems to all be in order.

Then a thought strikes him and he asks about what effects the jutsu will have on her physiology.

The masked man says that she will no longer be able to feel pain and won't age or eat or drink and will regenerate from any injury _(nomorebloodnomorereasontoholdback) _and she will retain all her abilities and that is everything important _INFORMATION DELIBERATELY EXCLUDED._

"There's something else. What aren't you telling me?" he growls.

The masked man does not seem to appreciate the interrogation and he feels a **strange pressure **that makes him want to give up, but he fights it and holds his ground. And finally the masked man gives in and tells him that if the caster dismisses the jutsu then Ameyuri will die.

He asks if there is any way around it and the masked man is silent for a long moment _HESITATION _then tells him that yes there is a special seal that the person under the jutsu can use to prevent it from being dispelled.

He demands the seal. The man shows it to him _NOT LYING_.

He pulls Ameyuri's skull out from his shirt and offers it to the masked man. The other man accepts it and places his hand upon the Zetsu's head. And the jutsu begins, and it is almost complete when he starts feeling a strange yet familiar pressure begins to build up in his head.

x

The world righted itself.

The Zetsu let out a scream, an unearthly, high-pitched wail, and a wave of paper seals flew out of Tobi's cloak to cover it from head-to-foot. A second later, the paper seals fell to the ground, revealing the still, kneeling form of Ameyuri Ringo. The figure's eyes were blank, and she was as stiff as a statue. According to Tobi, until the tag was inserted, she would be an empty shell.

An instant too late, Kushimaru started having second thoughts as to whether this was actually the right thing to do. She would be alive, yes, but it would be a half-life. If what Tobi had said to him about Edo Tensei was correct, then her entire system would be modified. She would be unable to feel properly, unable to eat, drink, smell, or taste. She would be a freak, unable to feel the basic human sensations that people took for granted.

Those issues were insignificant compared to the true problem, though. She wouldn't age. He would. So would anyone else she got close to. She would have to watch him grow old, die, and then she'd be alone for eternity. And he wasn't sure he could put her through that.

Ameyuri...

Tobi raised a hand. "The tag, if you will."

Kushimaru lifted the tag that Tobi had handed him in front of his face, giving it one last moment of scrutiny. Nothing. It was as Tobi had said, complete free will.

Suddenly, he had an idea. An idea so crazy, so absurd, that he wondered whether he was still under the influence of one of his many mental illnesses.

Still, when had crazy ever stopped him? He didn't even need to think about it, really.

"I have another request." he said.

Tobi cocked his head to the side. "Hmm?"

Luckily, he still had his superhumanly-advanced sense of empathy. Even with the mask on, he'd be able to tell if Tobi was lying. And if he did, if he lied in any way, shape or form about going through with what Kushimaru asked of him, then he would know. He was happy to serve Tobi, after all, the man was Madara Uchiha's successor. But trust him? Kushimaru wasn't sure he'd go that far.

So if he lied, then Kushimaru would know and he'd have to change his plans. If he swore that he would do what Kushimaru asked of him though, and he didn't detect any deceit...

Well, he'd have to see, wouldn't he?

"This is what I want you to do..."

xXx

Light!

Ameyuri's eyes flashed open, and she took a deep, shuddering breath.

Where was... What? Her pupils flashed left and right. She was in a cabin. Why was she in a cabin!? She was dead! And there were people! Why were there people?

A bolt of dizziness struck her, and she began to tumble forward, only to be stopped mid-fall by a strong pair of arms. Ameyuri looked up to see a very familiar mask, centimeters from her face.

But that was...

Ameyuri tore the mask from the figure's face, revealing the aristocratic features of Kushimaru Kuriarare.

"Ameyuri..." The man whispered.

Kushimaru? But... no... he was... she was...

What the hell was going on? Genjutsu? Afterlife? Dream? She'd seen him die! She'd felt the blades...

Her train of thought was shattered when she felt his arms shake around her shoulders, pulling her into an embrace.

This couldn't be Kushimaru! Kushimaru was dead. This had to be an impostor.

Ameyuri stiffened, and was about to push him off when she felt a sudden wetness on her right shoulder.

He was crying.

"Ameyuri, Ameyuri, Ameyuri," Kushimaru sobbed, and she could hear the radiant joy in his voice, "Oh god, thank you thank you thank you."

He was crying for her.

Kushimaru had always... had always... Oh God!

Ameyuri pushed herself into the embrace, tightening her arms around him as hard as she could. Her head felt hot, her heart beat like thunder and a wetness dripped down her cheeks.

"Shhh, shhhh, it's okay." she whispered. "Shhhhh, I'm here. I'm here."

He sank his head further into her shoulder, his breathing punctuated with great, choking sobs. She wrapped one of her hands around his head, stroking his ragged, yellow hair.

Yeah, this was Kushimaru alright. No one else got this weepy around her so quickly.

A grunting cough came from somebody to her left. Ameyuri didn't give a fuck. Hell, she didn't care if the entire world was watching. Fuck the entire world.

And for a while, they just sat there. It was so much like the first time they'd met that it hurt.

Slowly, Kushimaru's sobs grew lighter, and his breathing quieted. He raised his head off her shoulder, wiped his face and gave her one of those contented smiles she loved so much. She smiled back.

Then she noticed something. There was a trail of black running down his cheek. The place that her tears were supposed to be.

Ameyuri raised a hand to her face, and ran a finger through the trail of dampness that ran down from her eye. She lifted the digit in front of her eye, and her breath caught in her throat.

It was ink. She was crying ink.

A rising panic began making its way up her body. "Kushimaru, what's going on?"

Kushimaru's grip on her shoulders tightened. "Don't worry, it's just a side effect from the..."

Ameyuri's breathing quickened. "I'm crying ink. Why I am I crying ink? What's happening to me?"

Then, she realized that her skin felt funny. She could feel the pressure of the rough wooden floor on her knees, but none of the feelings that should have been associated with it. There was no pain. She started to hyperventilate. She could feel the dampness of the tears, but only in the sense that she knew it was damp. She could feel Kushimaru's hands on her shoulders, but not the warmth from his skin. Her sense of smell was gone. Her...

"Ameyuri! Ameyuri, listen to me!" Kushimaru's voice broke through her thoughts, the sound of his voice alone working to quell her rising panic. "You're okay! It's the resurrection process! Let me explain!"

The resurrection process? Ameyuri took a deep, shaky breath, forcing her panic down. She was a Swordsman of the Mist, and Swordsmen of the Mist didn't freak out without a very good reason. Crying ink and not being able to feel pain was not one of them

She nodded. "Explain."

"You're been resurrected by a jutsu known as Edo Tensei." he said, speaking quickly and concisely "You can no longer smell, taste or feel pain. The blood in your body has been replaced by ink. You are, however, also functionally immortal. You won't age, can't be hurt and have unlimited chakra and stamina. Trust me, it's not that bad. It's actually kind of cool."

"Kind of... cool?" she repeated, with great incredulity.

"Yep." Kushimaru shrugged. "Hell, I should know."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

He lifted the sleeve of the red cloak he was wearing. It was stained with a large, black splotch. A large, black, inky splotch. On the sleeve he'd used to wipe away his... tears.

Kushimaru whipped a hand across his face, and two contact lenses fell away to reveal a pair of grey and white eyes. He grinned at her. "I thought immortality might be lonely, so I figured I'd volunteer! Surprise!"

He'd voluntarily become a half-dead zombie? So she wouldn't be lonely? It was... that was...

"You... Stupid... Man!" she growled.

Then she grabbed his head, yanked it towards her and shoved her mouth onto his.

That, at least, she could feel.

Maybe she was a zombie. Maybe she was an outcast. But Ameyuri was used to being different. And as long as Kushimaru was there to be an outcast with her, she was pretty sure she'd be fine.

A violent coughing fit came from her left. Maintaining the lip-lock a moment longer, Ameyuri gently pushed Kushimaru off and turned to look at the people who had been creepily watching the entire time.

There were two of them; a man in a black cloak and orange mask who was watching impassively and a blonde, one-armed man who was having the coughing fit. The blonde man looked extremely uncomfortable. It was deeply amusing.

"Not a fan of public displays of affection, huh?" she jabbed.

The man finished his coughing fit and straightened, giving her a glare. "I'm fine with public displays of affection. It's sentimental crap that I can't stand. 'I thought immortality might be lonely'? Really?"

"Eh, deal with it." Ameyuri got to her feet, stretching out a hand. "I'm Ameyuri Ringo, pleasure to meet you."

"Deidara. I don't shake hands." the man said, eyeing her outstretched hand the way one might look at a venomous serpent.

Ameyuri turned to look at her partner. "Kushimaru, your new friends are rude."

"Don't be too mean, they were the ones who resurrected you." he said, getting to his feet. "Plus, they did give me this kick-ass red cloak."

Irreverent Banter! The Number One Cure for weird, confusing situations where you had no idea what the hell was going on!

Damn it felt good.

Ameyuri looked to the masked man. "So, I'm assuming you're the one who resurrected us?"

The masked man nodded. "That is correct."

She grinned at him. "Thanks! Also, why? Also, who are you?"

"I am Madara Uchiha's successor. You may refer to me as Tobi." the man said. "We have need of your assistance."

Madara Uchiwha? Tobi had said it like he expected her to know who he was talking about, but the name didn't ring any bells.

"Your memories have yet to be restored." Tobi said, raising his hands into a seal.

"Hold up." Kushimaru slipped his hand into hers. "Okay, go."

Tobi made the seal, and her mind exploded.

MISTBLOODPAINTERRORALONESEVENSWORDSMENOROCHIMARU**MADARA**NOLONGERALONEFUNACIDUMBRELLABATTLESMISSIONMAROGICO VEDEATH.

NOLONGERALONE

An unknowable amount of time later, the images began to clear from her mind. Ameyuri opened her eyes, pushed herself out of Kushimaru's arms and got to her feet.

Madara Uchiha. The man who would lead the world to peace.

The blonde man was gone. Tobi had remained, but he was now seated.

Ameyuri walked over to him. "So, Madara Uchiha requires our services?"

Tobi nodded. "That is correct."

Ameyuri leaned into the wall next to him. "Does he need them now. Like, right now?"

The masked man was silent for a moment, and when he did speak Ameyuri detected the tiniest note of uncertainty in his voice. "There are no pressing matters which require your immediate attention, no. Why do you ask?"

"There are a couple of things I'd like to try." Ameyuri said. "So, we can't be hurt or feel pain, correct?"

Tobi nodded. Ameyuri grinned. "Excellent.

She span around to face Kushimaru. "Do you have my swords?"

Kushimaru grinned back at her, then pulled the twin swords of Kiba out of his cloak and tossed them at her.

Ameyuri caught them. "You have sixty seconds. Take off the badass cloak before you go."

Kushimaru stared at her blankly for a second, then an exhilarated smile blossomed across his face. "God, I've missed you."

Ameyuri waved one of her swords at him. "Fifty-five seconds! Make 'em count!"

Kushimaru yanked the cloak off and tossed it to the ground. The swordsman drew Nuibari, span around and kicked the door of the cabin open. He stumbled out into the darkness, then took off sprinting into the night, laughing as he did so.

Ameyuri looked at Tobi, who hadn't moved since she'd last spoken to him. "If you need to find us, follow the screams."

Tobi nodded. "I'll be sure to do that."

Ameyuri started to move for the door, then froze mid-step.

She felt like she should show a little gratitude to Tobi. Oh, she had no doubt that the man had ulterior motives, he hadn't resurrected her out of the kindness of his heart. But he'd let her have her emotional moment on the ground with Kushimaru, he hadn't reprimanded or rebuked either of them for their irreverence and he'd stuck around and waited for her to wake up when he could just have easily left Deidara or a Zetsu to do it. That said something about him. Obviously, it wasn't a big thing, but she sure as hell couldn't imagine Madara Uchiha doing something like that.

Slowly, the woman turned around, leveling a finger at Tobi. "Let me just say something. I know we're all dedicated the cause of Madara Uchiha and all, but I feel this needs to be said. Madara is a douche, and you're totally cooler than him."

If that rattled him, Tobi didn't show it.

"Thank you." he said, in that same monotone voice that, this time, gave nothing away.

She stared at him for a couple of seconds, then raised an eyebrow. "Lighten up, Tobi. It won't kill you."

Then, Ameyuri span around and sprinted out the door, lightning crackling into life around her. "Kushimaru! Ready or not, here I come! Ahahahahahahahahah!"

He'd had thirty seconds. Let the games begin!

xXx

_(Konoha Camp)_

The cloaked figure crept slowly through the pale white tents, his breath misting in the air in front of him. Above, the stark white moon cast an eerie light upon Konoha, and every shadow seemed to hold its own grasping monster.

He knew it was stupid. If he was caught... when he was caught, then there would likely be severe punishments. But he had to know. He had to be sure.

The figure reached the tent, and quietly pulled aside the opening flap. Inside, the still form of Naruto Uzumaki lay slumbering in a sleeping bag, oblivious to the world.

The figure crept closer, then knelt down next to the boy, leaning so close that their faces were almost touching.

"Kid. Wake up."

Drowsily, Naruto's eyes slid open. "Wha...?"

Then they focused, and his still face went white with terror. "No!"

Clearly still caught half-way between sleep and wakefulness, Naruto raised his hands in front of him and drove them palm-first into the figure's chest.

There was an explosion of air, the tent ripped apart around them, and the figure stumbled backwards.

Now fully awake, Naruto leapt to his feet. Then his hands dropped to his sides, and his face went even paler. "No. Nonononononono!"

Disbelievingly, the figure raised shaking hands to its chest. Where Naruto had placed its hands, there was nothing but empty space. Naruto's wind blades hadn't just cut him, they'd driven a hole through his entire chest. He fell to his knees.

Naruto ran to his side, voice twisted with panic, fear and shame. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to, please don't die Zabuza please don't die!"

"Naruto... I'm not..." the figure slumped to the ground. Lifeless.

And exploded in a puff of smoke.

Two hundred meters away, in a cold, dark, stone street, Shikamaru Nara jolted violently as the memories from his henged shadow clone smashed across the head like a mallet.

Idiot! Idiot idiot idiot! As if Naruto didn't have enough on his plate, enough miseries to cope with. And now he'd made him believe that he'd killed someone he considered a friend! Who knew what that could have done to Naruto's psyche! Idiot!

But Shikamaru had needed to know. He'd needed to know that Zabuza's words had had an effect on him, that Naruto hadn't brushed off the man's actions like they were nothing. He'd needed to know that... he wasn't the only one who had been damaged by this corrupted world. The only one who had been distorted; who found it harder to trust and easier to kill.

And he'd found his answer. The look of primal fear on Naruto's face had given him that much. When his friend had seen Zabuza's face, his first reaction had been terror. His second had been to blow a hole through Zabuza's chest. He would never have done so if he hadn't been surprised, if he hadn't been half asleep, but even so, his actions spoke for themselves. Naruto might have forgiven Zabuza, but he hadn't just brushed off his actions. His instinctive response to Zabuza's presence was no longer one of blind trust. It was one of fear, and in some sick way Shikamaru found that that made him feel better about his own thoughts and actions.

Sometimes he looked back at the person he had been as a genin, and found that they were unrecognizable. And that scared him more than he could possibly imagine.

But that was no excuse for doing something like that to...

"Did you get what you wanted?"

Shikamaru's head jerked up. Leaning on a pole about a meter away, lit by only a single, dim torch, was Jiraiya of the Sannin. His whole body was wreathed in shadow, and the only thing Shikamaru could make out clearly were his eyes. Unreadable, unfathomable eyes, pinning him like a panther pins a deer.

Shikamaru's mouth open and closed like a fish.

"Well? Did you?" Jiraiya pushed himself up off the pole and knelt down next to him. "You're lucky that Tenzo realized who you were. Otherwise, you could have ended up like your clone."

"I needed to know." Shikamaru whispered.

"Yeah. See, the thing is, Shikamaru, we all feel like that sometimes." Jiraiya said. "We don't usually react by traumatizing the shit out of our friends, though. Especially when those friends are pretty mush single-handedly holding Konoha together."

"I know I was wrong. But..." Shikamaru trailed off for a second, then shook his head. "I have no excuse. I was wrong. That's the end of it."

Jiraiya stared at him for a second, then nodded. "Good answer."

The Sannin levered himself to his feet. "I get why you feel this way, really, I do. But you've made a mistake. Yes, Naruto has a tendency to be overly naive and idealistic sometimes. God knows, I don't agree with everything he says. But that same idealism is bringing us hope."

Jiraiya made a gesture towards the tents "You've seen the way he wanders through the camp, how he talks to the people who are in need of comforting. You cannot possibly imagine how wonderful that is for people, how amazing, even life-changing it can be to have a stranger simply come out of nowhere, sit down with you and reassure you that everything is going to be okay. It is that idealism that lets him do that, and it is that idealism that gives us hope in these dark times."

Jiraiya knelt back down and leaned in close, "You, though, you're on the verge of something else altogether. See, excessive hope isn't always a good thing. But go too far in the other direction, and you'll find that you have a whole new set of problems. Ones much worse than being a little too trusting, or a little too kind. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Shikamaru swallowed. "I think so, yeah."

He'd never really thought about it that way. Could you go too far in the other direction? Naruto's words from earlier came back to him; That's where it started. The end lay with, Danzo or worse. And recently, Shikamaru had found that he was becoming just a little too comfortable with the darker end of the morality spectrum than he was happy with.

Idealism. Cynicism. Like all things in life, he'd have to find a balance. He just wasn't sure where that balance was yet. Had he been wrong about Kakuzu? He honestly didn't know. But Jiraiya was right.

"I understand." he said, with more confidence.

"Good. I'm sure a smart kid like you will figure it out." Jiraiya stood back up and gestured over his shoulder at the camp, where the sounds of commotion could be heard. "That's your problem. I expect you to go deal with it."

Shikamaru nodded and got to his feet.

"Oh, and Shikamaru." Jiraiya's hand fell upon his shoulder. Shikamaru froze. "Two things. First, when you do find a balance, don't follow your sensei's lead. You're better off looking to Naruto. And second..."

Jiraiya's hand tightened. "Don't you _ever _pull something like this again. Clear?"

Shikamaru gave a hurried nod. "Crystal."

The hand left his shoulder, and then Jiraiya was gone.

Shikamaru turned and began running towards the camp. He had one hell of a mess to sort out. Four words went through his head as he ran, repeating over and over.

Idealism. Cynicism. Realism.

Balance.

xXx

******I like my Nagato. Eh fights Akatsuki and doesnt afraid of anything.**

**An 12K+ chapter posted within two weeks of the last one? Insanity! **

**Well, I got seven excellent reviews from Chaos Productions, and that kind of lit a fire under me. Obviously all reviews are wonderful, but that feeling when someone actually gets what you're trying to achieve and tells you as much... it's exhilarating. So thank you sir. **

**Well, two people said they wanted more Tobi, so I included his scenes a chapter earlier. Now, question time. Which (if any) two characters are you interested in seeing interacting. Obviously, some are slightly impossible right now (Hidan and Shikamaru, for example, would be fairly difficult), but your suggestions will play a role.**

**Two/Three more chapters of Opening to go, and then we'll have a big 'Akatsuki/Ketsueki Yuuyake Assemble!' chapter. It'll be cool, trust me.**

**Now, I have exams coming up, so the next chapter won't come for a few weeks. I know I don't have a good track record when it comes to fanfic-exam related matters (See: Tobi Induced Hilarity), but that's not going to happen this time, I swear! Also, if any of the people who read Tobi Induced Hilarity when I first stuck it up here are actually reading this, then I am deeply impressed with you.**

******That's not how Jiraiya and Asuma usually talk, by the way. That's their 'inspiring' talk.**

******Poor old Shikamaru. He thinks that to stay is almost akin to a death sentence, but he can't bring himself to leave Asuma. **

******Ha! I bet you'd thought I'd forgotten about Kimimaro, huh? Actually, I doubt any of you actually thought that; hell, you've probably forgotten about him yourselves. But don't worry, we'll get back to him eventually. And Sasori, and Zabuza, and all those other characters that I've put on a bus. Even Sasuke. And I'm not going to bash the hell out of him, either. That... would be rubbish.**

**I'll be the first to admit that guys like Asuma and Chouji aren't my favorite characters. It's not that I _dislike_ them, per-say, but they've never really interested me that much. But once I get inside their heads, I find it can be more interesting. Plus, I did say 'no character left behind', and I take off-hand comments very seriously. Stay tuned for the sixty-thousand word Chronicles of Inaho, genin with an attitude (there will be no Chronicles of Inaho)!**

**The Three Great Shinobi World Wars are the only major conflicts we've heard about, but in a militant world like the one in Naruto there must have been dozens, or even hundreds, of smaller ones. The September War is one.**

**Don't forget, Kushimaru took Ameyuri's skull before Itachi and Anko got around to replacing the bodies. They didn't search him for it because, well, who does that? Also, romance is not and will not be the main focus of this story, but I figure I can get away with two minor characters.**

**I kind of tried some weird stuff for the part of the chapter where Kushimaru is crazy. No idea how effective it was, but it was fun nevertheless.**

**I got a review asking why Naruto is still so idealistic, and that got me thinking about ideology and cynicism and apathy and morality and stuff. I came to a conclusion that I think is kind of cool. **

**Things like fluff stories are one thing, but for a story like this one, there really has to be a balance. If everyone is a jaded cynic who has sacrificed morality to reach their goals, then it's **_**boring**_**. It's dark and edgy, sure, but it's meaninglessly so. I believe the phrase is Darkness Induced Apathy, the entire conflict ceases to become interesting. On the other hand, if everyone is a wide-eyed idealist, then I find that is often just as uninteresting. Sure, it's been pulled off, and quite well too, but in a world like Naruto, there needs to be someone to recognize the darkness.**

**A world where everyone is kind lacks drama. A world where everyone is cruel lacks hope. A world where everyone is hilarious, confident, intelligent and carefree is unrealistic. A world where everyone is broken, insecure, nasty and completely self-absorbed is painful. Diversity is the key. Everyone has their place, the pure idealist (Naruto), the broken nihilist (Tobi), the well intentioned extremist (Hanzo), the jaded realist (Tenzo), the complete monster (Hidan), even the people who flat out don't care (Zabuza).**

**Of course, the question then shifts to something else altogether. Who has the **_**right **_**perspective?**

**Don't ask me. I'm just the guy who tells the stories. That's for you to decide. **

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**Wow, that was deep. And pretentious.**

**I'd better do something to lighten the mood and deflate my ego.**

**I know! What about one of those hi~larious bits where the author interacts with the characters? Those are fun!**

**Okay, here we go:**

**x**

**Author: Hi! I was wondering if I could...**

**Zabuza: No.**

**Author: Oh.**

**x**

**See! Wasn't that exciting?**

**Thanks to ElementKitsune for the beta.**

**Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter S: For Sasuke!**

**Read and Review!**


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two: Cynical Miracle

**29/6/2013 - 148 Reviews, 147 Favorites, 171 Followers**

Chapter Twenty-Two: Cynical Miracle

xXx

_(Kamui's Dimension)_

"_Madara is a douche, and you're totally cooler than him."_

Tobi leaned back into one of the Kamui pillars, corner of his lips quirking up at the memory. That had gone better than expected.

He'd finally got Kushimaru and Ameyuri to stop chasing each other around long enough to dismiss the jutsu in front of them. They'd both made the release seal, and their bodies were now completely their own. It was a pity that he wouldn't be able to dismiss them anymore, but only a small one. Neither were anywhere his level, and if they managed to rebel against Madara's loyalty seals, then disabling them would be a relatively simple task. If he needed to, he could replace their control tags.

Besides, giving them full control had another benefit. Loyalty was a much better way to control someone than greed or fear, and if Ameyuri's actions were any indication, his approach had worked like a charm.

Now, on to other, less pleasant matters.

When he'd first realized Akatsuki had imploded beneath him, Tobi had considered mimicking Kabuto and resurrecting an army to fight for him. He'd eventually rejected that idea for two reasons. First, a force made up of resurrected ninja were only useful for short-term goals. Kabuto's Edo Tensei strategy had been severely impaired by numerous issues with the resurrected, ranging from fighting against his control to spontaneously dispelling after finding emotional closure. Of course, this could be mitigated by eradicating their personalities, but he'd then have to direct every single action they made. For a long-term strategy like the one he was now going to have to pursue, utilizing an Edo Tensei force would be a nightmare.

Secondly, the more he used Edo Tensei, the more likely that an effective counterstrategy would be developed against it. A pair of Mist shinobi were one thing, but if he went around resurrecting dozens, then sooner or later one would get captured and eventually someone would figure out some easy, efficient disabling mechanism that would be render his troops useless. No, for his primary goals, Edo Tensei was a last resort.

For his primary goals.

Closing his eyes, Tobi focused on the coordinates that Zetsu had given him. The familiar, tingling, vaguely unpleasant feeling of space-time distortion overtook his senses, and when Tobi opened his eyes, he found himself back in reality.

He was on the rooftop of a high, metal building, in the Jomae Village of the Land of Keys. A pale, grey moon could just be seen in the sky, almost hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. A series of similar buildings stretched out around him, and in the lamplit streets below he could see revelers idly wandering among the shops. A chill wind blew across his back, making his cloak flutter wildly.

And on a building several streets away, an orange haired man in ANBU dress and a young, white-haired man with a scratched-out Leaf headband were trading blows.

Perfect. This made his job much easier.

Using all the stealth he possessed, Tobi began slinking across the rooftops towards where the two were fighting, leaping quietly through the night. Ahead of him, the ANBU ducked underneath a kunai slash and knocked the blade out of the other's hand, sending it skittering across the rooftop. The orange-haired man was clearly the superior fighter, and the white-haired man quickly went down with a vicious punch to the gut. The missing-nin fell to his knees, gasping for air.

Tobi landed softly on the roof behind the ANBU. As the orange-haired man stepped towards him, the missing-nin's eyes fell upon Tobi. The masked man raised a finger to his lips. The other man's eyes widened slightly, then he gave the subtlest of nods.

The ANBU slid his tanto out of the sheathe on his back. "You have been designated an enemy of the Leaf. Under the authorizatio..."

Tobi stepped behind the ANBU, grabbed his hair with one hand, and with a lightning-fast motion, slit his throat with a kunai. A violent geyser of blood exploded out of the ANBU's throat, splattering the terrified missing-nin.

Tobi released his grip. Fu Yamanaka's corpse tumbled to the ground.

The white-haired man looked up at him with impossibly grateful eyes. "Oh god, thankyouthankyouthankyou! He was going to kill me!"

Tobi reached into his coat, pulling out a scroll and flipping it open. The masked man smeared the blood from the kunai across the scroll, then carefully lay it on the ground. A line of blood emerged from the scroll, then expanded into a strange, black pattern centered around the kneeling man.

"What... what are you doing?" the white-haired man asked, hesitation and the slightest hint of fear creeping into into his voice.

Tobi clapped his hands together.

Immediately, a wave of white paper tags flew out of his cloak and engulfed the kneeling man. The missing-nin let out a terrified scream, one that trailed off his body was forcibly metamorphosed into another's. A few seconds later, the tags fell away, revealing the panting form of Fu Yamanaka.

Tobi slid a control tag kunai out of his sleeve and slammed in into Fu's forehead. The man gasped, then went slack, slumping to the ground.

It was done. Fu Yamanaka was his.

Tobi had thought long and hard about how he could convince Fu to join his organization, but to no avail. Fu was a fanatically loyal member of Konoha, and a member of Root besides. Tobi was sure that enticing the man to join Ketsueki Yuuyake was possible, but to do so would require an incredibly complex and exhausting set of machinations, and he simply couldn't spare the time. And in lieu of several months of subtle psychological manipulation, there was no way that the Root member would willingly agree to his orders. So, unfortunately, more drastic measures had been necessary.

Tobi had used a minor variation of Edo Tensei, one that stripped the subjects of their personality from the beginning. That way, there was no chance of Fu somehow reaching some sort of emotional resolution and dispelling before he had served his purpose.

Tobi closed his eyes and raised his hands into a seal, directly linking his own mind to Fu's. _'Give me all pertinent memories regarding effects, usage and variations of the Yamanaka mind jutsus, as well as the experiences required to be able to use them effectively.'_

Tobi had learnt his lesson from the Itachi incident. If he wanted to predict potential betrayal, he would need a better method than mere intuition. What better way of identifying potential traitors than by examining their very mind?

The masked man re-opened his eyes. Fu Yamanaka got to his feet and stepped towards him, his movements stiff and mechanical. The man reached out a hand and placed it on Tobi's head. An instant later, a torrent of memories and impulses flooded into his mind. Under Fu's trained hand, the other man's memories were telepathically transferred across, mingling with his own. Fragments of Fu's life; time spent with his partner Torune, training under Danzo, missions across the entire continent, even time spent with Fu's father. It was a violation that might once have bothered him, but he was far, far past that now. Most importantly, he now knew how to use the clan techniques of the Yamanaka family.

Success.

Fu withdrew his hand. Blinking, Tobi stepped back, then turned and walked to the mesh fence that lined the north side of the roof. There was a night-market taking place underneath, and crowds of people wandered among the lantern-stalls, blissfully unaware of his presence.

What better opportunity to test his new abilities?

Tobi turned to look at Fu, who was still standing with his hand outstretched. _'Guard my body.'_

Not that he expected to be attacked or anything, but it never hurt to be cautious.

Tobi lowered himself down into a sitting position, turning back to look at the throng of humanity belief. The masked man raised his hands into the Shintenshin seal. "Mind Disturbance Dance Performance Technique."

For a second, everything went dark. Then, his vision was filled with light.

"Don't want a..."

"Come get your..."

"Why are you..."

"Daddy, are you okay?"

Dozens of different perspectives of similar scenes all beamed into his mind, overlapping into a chaotic maelstrom of colours. Multiple flows of visual and sensory information all streamed into his head at one, competing for dominance.

It felt like his mind was being torn apart!

Giving a mental groan of pain, Tobi dismissed the jutsu. With a jolt, he was flung back into his own body. The masked man jerked backwards, nearly falling onto his back.

Clearly, this would take some getting used to. Maybe he should start with something small.

Tobi pushed himself back up and scanned the crowds. Below, a couple of people were still shaking their heads in confusion, though most seemed to have failed to notice his intrusion into their heads.

Something caught his eye. At the edge of the crowds, a small girl in ragged clothes sat crouched at the mouth of an alley, staring hungrily at a large stall laden with pastries. The girl was clearly starving, small face pale and hollow-cheeked. If she didn't eat soon, then she was probably going to die.

Hmm.

Tobi looked over his shoulder at the bloodstained body of Fu Yamanaka, then back at the girl.

He had just killed two people. He had murdered them in cold blood, and done so without a single hesitation. To assist a random stranger would serve only to fulfill some sentimental notion of 'maintaining a moral balance', and if there was one thing that Tobi despised more than anything else, it was sentimentalism. He was above morality. He was above ethics. He would do whatever it took to make the Eye of the Moon Plan a reality, and he would do so with a smile on his face. The only purpose that 'kindness' had in his world was as a tool for manipulating others. But...

Tobi looked back at the bloodstained corpse on the ground one last time.

Oh, what the hell. It would all prove irrelevant in the end, anyway.

Tobi focused his gaze on a chubby, richly-dressed man making his way through the crowd. Raising his hands into the Shintenshin seal once more, Tobi activated the jutsu.

A second later, he opened his eyes to find himself looking out of those of the chubby man. With a slight awkwardness due to the unfamiliarity of the man's body, he began making his way through the crowd towards the pastry stall.

The woman behind it looked up at him. "Now what can I do for you?"

"Give me fifty of your long-lasting danishes, spread across six bags. I'd also like twenty mixed pastries, and six beef pasties." he said, an unfamiliar voice coming out of his mouth.

The woman's blinked in mild surprise at the size of his order, then nodded. "Alright, coming up."

Tobi felt around the man's body for his wallet, eventually coming up with a thick, violet purse. Flicking it open, Tobi withdrew the required notes and removed the bags from the counter. Then, he turned and walked over to the alley he had spotted earlier.

Upon seeing his approach, the girl's eyes widened, her frame stiffening with fear. She began to shuffle backwards into the darkness.

Tobi slowed, raising his bag-laden arms. "Don't worry, it's okay. These are for you."

The girl's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Slowly, so as not to alarm her, Tobi placed the bags on the ground and stepped backwards. The girl began to shuffle forward, obviously ready to flee at the first sign of trouble. After about half a minute, the child finally darted forwards, grabbing the bags and yanking back towards her, moving quickly back into the mouth of the alley.

"Wait."

The girl stopped, then turned to look at him.

Tobi knelt down. "Two things. First, you're going to need to ration these. If you eat them all at one, it could overload your system, which could be fatal. Take it slowly."

The girl stared at him for a second, then gave a single nod.

Tobi nodded back. "Good. Second, and this is important, don't approach this man again. I'm a shikigami, and I have possessed him in..."

"No you're not."

Tobi blinked. "Sorry?"

The little girl glared up at him. "You're not a shikigami. I don't believe in shikigami."

Tobi shrugged. "Okay, then he's gone insane. In either case, he's going to wake up soon, and when he does, he's going to be confused and angry. You need to be far away from here when that happens. Now go."

The girl gave him a tentative smile, then turned and scurried off into the alley, bags in hand. For a second, Tobi considered asking her name, then decided against it. It didn't matter, anyhow.

Waiting a minute or so, Tobi took the man back into the crowds, then dismissed the jutsu.

An instant later, he was back in his own body.

The masked man sucked in a sharp breath. That had certainly been... different.

Killing without mercy one moment, giving food to child the next. Even he wasn't sure what was driving him these days. Why had he done what he'd done? It hadn't served any real, tangible purpose. The path to utopia would bring many, many casualties, many of them children just like that one.

When the new world was created, there would be no hunger, no suffering. There would be no children starving in the streets, only paradise. To make that happen, though...

Tobi let himself fall backwards, coming to rest on the cool tiles of the roof. For a second, he just lay there, staring up at the hazy night sky. The cool wind from before came again, tickling at his hair. Above, the dark gloom that was covering the stars began to move, and a stream of moonlight beamed down from a gap in the clouds, lighting up the rooftop around him.

The moon. The stone prison of the Jyuubi, created by the Sage of the Six Paths. A fateful sign, if there'd ever been one.

There was no point in dwelling. He had entered an alliance with Orochimaru, a man who used children just like that one as test subjects. One of his most valuable assets lay in Deidara, who would happily blow up entire villages with a smile on his face. He wouldn't hesitate. He couldn't afford to hesitate. A street urchin was one thing, but if he tried to pull something like what he'd just done at one of Orochimaru's bases, the snake would tear him apart. When you were dealing with the sort of people that made up Ketsueki Yuuyake, kindness meant weakness, and weakness meant death.

What he had just done would be a one-off thing. He would dismiss this incident. He would go through with his plans, no matter what the cost. And he would do so... without regrets.

Tobi raised his hands into a seal. A wooden coffin materialized around Fu, and the man sank into the ground.

Tobi stole one more glance over the streets below, then activated Kamui.

At least the jutsu had been a success. That was something.

xXx

_(Haraki - East Coast of Fire Country)_

With a soft clatter, Tobi's foot came down on the wooden floor. Fully materializing, the masked man stepped out of his dimension and into the real world.

He was in a small, empty room, the monotone white of the walls broken up only by a small futon, a single wooden door and a pair of large glass windows. It was early morning, and bright sunlight was flooding in, outlining the dust motes that hung motionless in the air. Outside, Tobi could see a small, sandy beach; dark blue waves breaking gently on the shore.

According to Zetsu, this mansion was where one of Madara's bloodline users had ended up. The same one who had placed the seals on Kushimaru and Ameyuri, no less. Last time around, he hadn't bothered trying to track down the residual remnants of Madara's failed strategies. He hadn't needed to. This time, though, called for a more subtle approach.

Tobi made his way to the door, softly sliding it open. Soft peals of distant laughter made its way to his ears. Children's laughter, by the sound of it.

Beyond the room he was in lay another, decorated in a similar spartan fashion. There, seated before him, was the woman he had come to see.

And the years had not been kind to Ayako.

The woman was sprawled motionless in a large, white chair, hooked up to an ugly, grey machine. Dozens of plastic tubes ran from the metal construct to various spots on Ayako's body, disappearing into the folds of her clothing. She'd been pretty, once. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was coming in ragged gasps. A thin trail of drool was leaking down from the right corner of her mouth. Her hair had gone snow white, and her skin was an unhealthy shade of grey.

She was only thirty-seven. According to Zetsu, anyway.

Tobi stepped forward and placed a hand on her head, activating the Yamanaka Mind Reading Technique. An instant later, he stepped back.

A stroke. She'd had a stroke. And it had paralyzed her completely.

Edo Tensei it was, then.

All of a sudden, Ayako's eyes flashed open. Tobi was confronted with a pair of intelligent, mismatched yellow-and-red orbs, which immediately widened in alarm. The woman started making strange, grunting noises, clearly terrified at the strangeness of his presence.

Tobi stepped backwards, raising his hands. "Don't. I'm a friend."

Ayako's panicked noises started to grow louder. Glancing over his shoulder, Tobi raised his hands into the memory-lock disruption seal. "I'm an agent of Madara Uchiha."

Ayako's hysteria stopped instantly. Her eyes widened slightly.

Then, she gave the slightest of nods.

That was odd. Usually, dispelling Madara's seals required the subject to go through a significant memory re-calibration period. It was almost like...

Oh. The seals had never been reset. Either she'd been overlooked in the chaos of Orochimaru's daimyo purge, or Ayako had simply been cast aside after she'd outlived her usefulness. Tobi suspected the latter. It was a very Madara Uchiha thing to do.

Now then, he had an opportunity on his hands. If he needed to, he could simply remove Ayako's personality like he had Fu's. If he could engender loyalty instead, though, that would be significantly preferable.

A light touch would be best. As Madara Uchiha's heir, Ayako would likely expect him be a relatively severe individual anyway. Too much emotion, and it would come off as insincere.

Tobi knelt down, until he was at Ayako's eye level. "I have a proposition for you. How does being able to walk again sound?"

Ayako's eyes widened even further. Her head started shaking slightly, in a movement that Tobi could only assume was supposed to be enthusiastic nodding.

"I'll take that as a yes." he said. "There are, however, several conditions that you will have to fulfill. Listen closely."

Ayako stopped nodding, eyes intent.

"First, your new body will be different to your current one. You won't be able to eat or drink. Your blood will become ink. You will, however, be able to move under your own power again. Acceptable?"

A nod. Instant.

"Good. Second, are you aware of the details of Madara Uchiha's plan?" he asked.

Another nod.

"The Daimyo Stratagem is dead, as is Madara Uchiha. I am his successor, and our focus has now shifted to the acquisition of the bijuu. As I'm sure you know, utopia does not come without sacrifice. The path of Madara Uchiha is an unpleasant one, for both of us. If you agree to work for me, then you may be required to do things that seem morally repugnant. I need to know that you will obey my orders without question. Is that clear?"

A moment of hesitation, then a nod.

"Third." Here, Tobi deliberately hesitated for a second, as if sympathizing with her position. For this to work, Ayako Sato needed to think that he was callous on the surface, but empathetic and compassionate underneath. "You will have to cut off all contact with your family. And I'm... sorry, I am truly sorry, but once we leave here, a Zetsu will take the form of your deceased body. We cannot risk them asking questions. You will have to devote yourself entirely to our cause."

A long hesitation, then finally, a nod. Her eyes, though sad, were bright with determination. He had her.

Of course, the real reason he wanted her to cut off contact was so that she wouldn't be swayed by outside influences. As he'd learnt time and time again, connections brought weakness and doubt, and that was something he'd like to avoid at all costs. Plus, if she had contact with her family, then she might find some sort of emotional closure and dispel the Edo Tensei.

Tobi activated Kamui, and summoned out one of the third-generation Zetsu he had prepared earlier. Ayako didn't seem to be shocked by the plant-man's appearance, so she'd probably encountered them before.

"Any chance we will be interrupted?" he asked the Zetsu.

The Zetsu concentrated for a second, then shook its head. "No. Four low-grade chakra signatures, all a decent distance away. Probably civilians. I'll inform you if they get closer."

Tobi nodded. "Good. Proceed."

The plant man walked over to Ayako and placed its hands on her head. A blue aura manifested around the plant-man's pale white hands, and its skin started to darken. Tobi stepped behind the plant, placing a supporting hand on its back.

Given enough time and contact, Zetsu could copy people's internal features as well as external, duplicating everything from the lymphatic and endocrine systems to bones, muscles and tendons. They couldn't quite copy someone's DNA, or the unique neural composition of their brains, but they could emulate the tissue damage caused by a thrombus, like the one that had caused Ayako's stroke. A complete morphological shift left Zetsu unable to use their abilities properly though, so Tobi usually preferred to have Zetsu simply copy outward appearance, but a complete shift was sometimes necessary for infiltration. Zetsu could reverse the change, but the process took about an hour.

Unfortunately, by fully duplicating Ayako's system, the Zetsu would also be subject to the repercussions of her stroke, which was why it needed to be propped up until the mimicry was complete.

Four minutes later, the blue glow faded, and the Ayako-Zetsu collapsed to the floor. The real Ayako stared at it with fascinated eyes. The two were identical, aside from one thing. A complete mimicry did not include clothes. Ayako Zetsu was completely naked.

Tobi reached into his cloak, pulling out a syringe filled with a potent mixture of phenobarbital, diazepam and potassium cyanide. "Here, this will knock you out. When you wake up, you'll be able to move again."

Tobi inserted the syringe into a vein in Ayako's neck, and injected the liquid. Within a minute, Ayako was slumped motionless in the chair, dead.

Tobi pulled out a second syringe and carefully extracted a vial full of Ayako's blood, sequestering it in his cloak. Then, he carefully unclipped the various tubes, and removed Ayako's clothes. Summoning a second black cloak from his dimension, Tobi wrapped it around body. Then, he placed both hands on Ayako, using Kamui to send off the whole thing. There was a swirl of air, and the corpse was gone.

Turning away, Tobi carefully placed Ayako's clothes on Ayako-Zetsu, then gently lifted it into the chair. Reinserting the various tubes, Tobi then pried open the right corner of Zetsu's mouth and used his finger to run a thin trail of drool down its chin. Then, the masked man stepped backwards to judge his handiwork.

Perfect. Identical to the scene he'd been confronted with when he'd first come in.

The Zetsu gave him a slight nod. Tobi returned it.

The sound of running footsteps on wood caught his attention. Time to get out of here.

Tobi leant in close, right next to Ayako-Zetsu's ear. "Do it." he whispered.

The Zetsu nodded again, then began activating its cellular-destruction function. By the time Ayako's family reached this room, it would be dead.

Tobi activated his Kamui, leaving the inhabitants of the household to discover their loss in peace.

xXx

When he re-materialized, it was in an uninhabited patch of forest to the south of Fire Country. There was another Zetsu waiting for him, leaning casually up against the one of the gigantic trees. It was uncharacteristically quiet, probably in no small part to the half-eaten bird in the Zetsu's hand.

Upon his arrival, the Zetsu straightened up, mouth still half-full of bird. "Hefo'e he..."

The Zetsu stopped, swallowed the whole mouthful in one gulf, then tried again. "Before we begin, we've got some new information about Kirigakure that you might be interested in."

"Go ahead." Tobi said.

The Zetsu scratched the back of its head. "We've, uh, been having some trouble getting into the Land of Water. Something screwy is happening over there."

Tobi raised an eyebrow. "Something screwy?"

"Yeah. The second we we get to the surface, we die. One minute we're fine, the next... we're just gone."

Well, that was certainly irritating. Getting Zetsu to the Land on Water was painful in of itself, as their transport technique didn't work in the ocean. Circumventing the ocean trench was time-consuming. Additionally, he still had no idea what was going on over in Kirigakure, and Tobi didn't like being in the dark.

Should he travel there himself? No, that would be too dangerous. If Zetsu were dying the second they got there, then the same thing could very well happen to him. If what had happened to Kumogakure had happened to Kirigakure, then he could be dead the second he materialized. He couldn't afford to waste many more Zetsu either, even if they were third-generation.

"Here's what I want you to do." he said. "Get a third-generation to pay a crew of some sort to launch an expedition. Don't waste any more Zetsu."

The Zetsu nodded. "Alright. Did you want to resurrect Ayako, now?"

"In a second." Tobi said. "I need to make some changes to the seal first."

The masked man pulled out the Edo Tensei scroll, making the necessary adjustments that would give Ayako motor control and reverse the effects of the stroke. The Zetsu started whistling to itself.

A few minutes later, he was done. Tobi looked up at the Zetsu. "It's done. Kneel."

The plant man did so, without complaint. Tobi lay out the scroll, smeared it with blood, and activated Edo Tensei. As before, a wave of paper seals flew out of his coat and smothered the Zetsu, then fell away to reveal Ayako.

Tobi reached into his coat, pulled out a control kunai identical to the one that he had used on Fu, and slammed it into Ayako's forehead. The woman stiffened, then went slack.

Tobi closed his eyes. _'Get up.'_

Ayako did so, face and body completely impassive.

He'd said that she'd regain control of her body. He hadn't specified when. There was no need to give her back her personality right away. By cutting her off from her family, Tobi had removed any means she might have had for tracking the flow of time. He could give or take away her personality each time he summoned her, and she would be none the wiser. And there were certain benefits to be had from doing things without a person's knowledge.

Tobi placed a hand on Ayako's forehead, and used the Yamanaka Telepathy to transfer across a set of instructions the mental segregation of memories. This way, rather than having to pore through her head, he could have her prepare key sets of memories for his perusal.

Waiting a minute for his instructions to be properly integrated, he then gave her another order. _'Give me all the information you have on memory seals, loyalty seals and the neurological functionality of the brain, with particular focus on the effect that specific hormones have on the amygdala.'_

He could almost feel her sorting through her thoughts, trying to find the information he had requested. Sending a second command telling her to sit, Tobi moved into a kneeling position and concentrated all his focus on trying to take in the torrent of knowledge that was flashing through Ayako's mind.

xXx

A good six hours later, and Tobi released his grip on Ayako's head and grabbed his own, letting out a groan of pain.

That... had not been pleasant. Ayako, as it turned out, knew an awful lot about the workings of the brain. Trying to absorb all that in such a short period had been somewhat painful. Thankfully, Ayako's knowledge had been underlined by an extremely sophisticated understanding that had been transferred across with the memories, so he had managed to grasp pretty much all of it. Trying to do the same thing on a repeated basis, however, would probably not be a good idea. At best, he simply wouldn't be able to incorporate the information; at worst, it could actually damage his brain.

Still, he was now an expert in several branches of neuroscience, so it had at least been successful. It made the fact that his brain now felt like it had been seared with a red-hot poker all worth it.

There was, though, one more thing he needed to learn. If he had learnt anything from his experiences with Itachi, it was that betrayal could come from the most unlikely of sources. To avoid that, he needed to ascertain just what sort of person Ayako was.

Blinking the pain away, Tobi once more placed his hand upon Ayako's head. _'Provide me with memories that encapsulate the relationships you have with your friends and family. Give me the your most private thoughts, the ones that you would never share with anyone, the ones that define who you are as a person.'_

For a second, he was concerned that his instructions were perhaps a touch too poetic for Edo Tensei, but they seemed to work just the same. This set was a lot faster, too.

Not an hour later, Tobi leaned back and got to his feet. She was his now. He knew everything about her, right down to her deepest, darkest secrets.

Ayako Sato. Thirty-seven. Wielder of a bloodline that allowed for greater understanding of the physiology of the body. Fascinated by psychology. Loved books. Married for seventeen years, to a man much less intelligent than her. In the chair for about twelve. Proud woman, disliked being reliant on others. Actually disliked most social contact, though she hid it well. Really just wanted to be left alone to conduct her research. Loved her family, though it was a love tinged with mild feelings of guilt and resentment at having to rely on them for everything.

And far too kind for what he needed her for.

Oh, she believed in the cause, that he didn't doubt. But her will was not strong enough to override her sense of morality. there was only so far that she could be pushed before she'd snap. It was difficult to sort the self-delusions from the truth, memories were far too subjective and susceptible to warping by time and emotion to ever be a hundred percent accurate. But Ayako, unfortunately, wasn't nearly as cold or hardhearted as she liked to believe. She would be grateful to him, sure, but that gratefulness would be tempered by an understanding that his motivations for healing her were completely selfish. If he pushed her too far, ordered her to cross certain ethical boundaries, then she would snap.

Maybe he shouldn't have framed himself as an empathetic man who felt guilty about his actions; the longer she spent around him, the quicker she would realize that that was not the case. In any case, it would be best to restore her personality only when he had to. Ayako Sato was simply too great a liability to keep around on any permanent basis.

Tobi raised his hands into a seal. A great, wooden coffin materialized around her, and Ayako sank into the ground.

He now had his own personal torture and interrogation team, one that he could summon at will. It would be best to keep them both completely isolated from Ketsueki Yuuyake; the more idealistic members might start asking unfortunate questions. Neither would be of particular use in combat, but as he had noted, Edo Tensei was useful for more than merely fighting. And by keeping them without personalities, he could be sure that they would obey his instructions to the letter.

For now, though, he had spent enough time on this. There were still dozens of things that required his attention, and little enough time to do them in. Duty called.

Tobi activated Kamui and disappeared once more, a small puddle of blood on the forest floor the only mark that he'd ever been there at all.

xXx

**You see kids, this is what happens when you give someone teleportation, insta-disguise plant monsters, necromancy and telepathy. They abuse the hell out of it. **

**Three chapters. Turns out it was three chapters. Two, now.**

**Don't worry, this is all building up to something. Probably.**

**Naruto's not the only one who's getting a power increase in this story. Heh.**

**A thrombus, by the way, is a blood clot that causes a thrombotic stroke. Phenobarbital and diazepam are anticonvulsant seditives and can act as muscle relaxants, while potassium cyanide is a potent, potent poison. As with all drugs, too much of any one of them can kill you. All three? Ouch.**

**Tobi's not going to go around and start absorbing everyone's memories and become an expert in everything ever. Neither is he going to go around, murder everyone, and turn them all into mindless zombies. Because aside from the reasons I've given in the narrative, that would be broken, and probably boring. Also, honestly, I don't think your brain could absorb that much information on a regular basis. **

**Next time, we're back to Konoha once more. I'm curious as to who you people expect to leave the village, and who you think is going to stay. I've made a couple of them pretty clear, but...**

**A note on language. Rather than speaking Japanese or English, I like to think that they're speaking some crazy third dialect where words like "Kakashi" and "Scarecrow" are synonyms of each other, rather than direct translation. Otherwise I get a headache. **

**Interestingly, memories really aren't the super exact representations of past events that many people think they are. I know most people recognize that they don't have an eidetic (photographic/perfect) memory, but as it turns out, even the memories that we do remember tend to be severely warped over time by subjective factors. For example, an insecure person can look back at a perfectly innocuous memory of a group of friends meeting at school, and 'remember' other people ignoring them and shutting them out of the group, even when they weren't. Our memories are subconsciously altered based on our emotions, even if we don't know it.**

**I received a series of extremely awesome reviews for this chapter, so thank you all! **

**Review response time!**

** desertrommel: Tricky. I think I should be able to pull that off eventually, but it can't happen for a while due to reasons of plot.**

** Priest of Pain: Actually, both of those meetings are probably going to occur up next chapter. And believe me, Kakuzu isn't merely going to fade into the ranks of the 'good guys'. No, he's far too much fun to just become a background extra. He hasn't had his moment in the spotlight yet, but believe me, it will come.**

** Billfromaccounting: Thank you! Yes, they'll probably meet at some point. No, they're not all dead. Orochimaru is a magnificent bastard and will, should things go as planned, avoid the Worf Effect. I'm glad you enjoy sub-plots, because there may (will) be more. Oh yes.**

** lounger: Cheers. After we enter planned-arc territory, then things should be better. Or worse. More structured, anyway.**

** Silimaira: Me? Foreshadowing? Perish the thought!**

**Well, it was interesting seeing how people responded to my note on balance and perspective last chapter, so thank you all for your contributions. This chapter is more stand-alone, but as this story switches focus like a pinball, I'll include a big summary of past events in the next segment.**

**Oh yes, I almost forgot! My story recently got listed in a community called 'Stories That Actually Make Sense'! I, for one, consider that to be one of the greatest compliments I have yet received. Awesome.  
**

**Thanks, as usual, to ElementKitsune for the beta.**

**Read and Review!**


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